skyguy79
12-10-2012, 11:18 PM
Different types of men in a public restroom.
Excitable Man: Shorts have twisted around, he can�t find the opening, rips pants in rage.
Sociable Man: Joins friends to tinkle, whether he has to or not. Figures it doesn�t cost anything.
Cross-Eyed Man: Looks into urinal on his left. Tinkles in the one in front, and flushes the one on the right.
Timid Man: Cannot tinkle if anyone is watching. Flushes urinal pretending he used it. Sneaks back later.
Nosey Man: Attempts to see into other urinal to see how the other guy is built.
Indifferent Man: All urinals being occupied, he uses the sink.
Clever Man: No Hands. Shows off by adjusting tie, looks around for admiring glances; usually tinkles on shoe and floor.
Worried Man: Isn�t sure what he�s been into lately. Makes a frenzied search and inspection.
Frivolous Man: Plays the stream up and down and across the urinal. Attempts to hit flies. This type never grows up.
Absentminded Man: Opens vest. Pulls out tie. Wets pants.
Disgruntled Man: Stands for awhile. Attempts to push from inside. Is unsuccessful. Gives up. Leaves restroom grumbling, with fly open.
Sneaky Man: Passes wind silently while tinkling. Acts innocent. Knows the man in next stall will be blamed.
Personality Man: Tells dirty jokes while tinkling. Has pronounced control of his wind. Has his comrades in stitches, and tinkles on the floor.
Sloppy Man: Tell tale wet drops always below the fly. Never misses his shoes, and occasionally others. Never washes hands. Usually walks out with fly undone.
Childish Man: Looks directly into the pool at the bottom of the urinal. Likes to hear the bubbling noise it makes.
Patient Man: Stands for an incredible length of time, waiting. Sometimes reads a newspaper held in his free hand.
Efficient Man: Waits until he has to do both so he doesn�t waste time.
Tough Guy: Bangs member on side of urinal when finished. On a good night, cracks porcelain.
Biker Dude: Rips urinal out of wall and tinkles out the window. Forgot he parked under the same window.
Adventurous Man: Likes to see how far he can stand from the urinal and still score a direct hit.
Travelin� Man: Can never find a service station in time; carries a large bottle for the road. Has collection of large bottles which he forgets to pitch.
Forgetful Man: Finally remembers why he came into the john, approaches urinal, flushes and leaves while something warm runs down his leg.
Hand Man: While you�re doing your thing you hear a George Michaels impersonator in a nearby stall.
Short Man: Stands back and shoots up.
Tall Man: Shoots down, trying to avoid the double dribble. Often sprays short man because he can�t see him.
Flasher Man: Just stands in front of the urinal with his rain coat open.
Procrastinating Man: Waits until teeth turn yellow. Usually tinkles in pants while looking for the can.
Bad Man: While you�re taking care of business, he lifts your wallet and runs.
Drunk Man: Holds left thumb in right hand, tinkles in pants.
Conceited Man: Holds two inch member like a baseball bat.
Vigorous Man: Shakes vigorously to dry, usually the last drop lands on tip of his nose.
Dreamy Man: Looks at unit and congratulates it for it�s past performances.
New York Man: Just uses the subway.
Desperate Man: Discovers his zipper is stuck.
Painful Man: Quickly zips before everything is put away. He is usually found writhing on the floor.
Disillusioned Man: You notice the 7-year-old at the next stall has a bigger package than you.
Phone Man: Can�t stay off his cell phone. Often misses his target if the conversation is heated. Forgets the other party can hear surrounding sounds.
Viagra Man: Forgot to relieve himself before taking Viagra. Usually hits the ceiling; often knocking down ceiling tiles. Has trouble closing zipper.
Excitable Man: Shorts have twisted around, he can�t find the opening, rips pants in rage.
Sociable Man: Joins friends to tinkle, whether he has to or not. Figures it doesn�t cost anything.
Cross-Eyed Man: Looks into urinal on his left. Tinkles in the one in front, and flushes the one on the right.
Timid Man: Cannot tinkle if anyone is watching. Flushes urinal pretending he used it. Sneaks back later.
Nosey Man: Attempts to see into other urinal to see how the other guy is built.
Indifferent Man: All urinals being occupied, he uses the sink.
Clever Man: No Hands. Shows off by adjusting tie, looks around for admiring glances; usually tinkles on shoe and floor.
Worried Man: Isn�t sure what he�s been into lately. Makes a frenzied search and inspection.
Frivolous Man: Plays the stream up and down and across the urinal. Attempts to hit flies. This type never grows up.
Absentminded Man: Opens vest. Pulls out tie. Wets pants.
Disgruntled Man: Stands for awhile. Attempts to push from inside. Is unsuccessful. Gives up. Leaves restroom grumbling, with fly open.
Sneaky Man: Passes wind silently while tinkling. Acts innocent. Knows the man in next stall will be blamed.
Personality Man: Tells dirty jokes while tinkling. Has pronounced control of his wind. Has his comrades in stitches, and tinkles on the floor.
Sloppy Man: Tell tale wet drops always below the fly. Never misses his shoes, and occasionally others. Never washes hands. Usually walks out with fly undone.
Childish Man: Looks directly into the pool at the bottom of the urinal. Likes to hear the bubbling noise it makes.
Patient Man: Stands for an incredible length of time, waiting. Sometimes reads a newspaper held in his free hand.
Efficient Man: Waits until he has to do both so he doesn�t waste time.
Tough Guy: Bangs member on side of urinal when finished. On a good night, cracks porcelain.
Biker Dude: Rips urinal out of wall and tinkles out the window. Forgot he parked under the same window.
Adventurous Man: Likes to see how far he can stand from the urinal and still score a direct hit.
Travelin� Man: Can never find a service station in time; carries a large bottle for the road. Has collection of large bottles which he forgets to pitch.
Forgetful Man: Finally remembers why he came into the john, approaches urinal, flushes and leaves while something warm runs down his leg.
Hand Man: While you�re doing your thing you hear a George Michaels impersonator in a nearby stall.
Short Man: Stands back and shoots up.
Tall Man: Shoots down, trying to avoid the double dribble. Often sprays short man because he can�t see him.
Flasher Man: Just stands in front of the urinal with his rain coat open.
Procrastinating Man: Waits until teeth turn yellow. Usually tinkles in pants while looking for the can.
Bad Man: While you�re taking care of business, he lifts your wallet and runs.
Drunk Man: Holds left thumb in right hand, tinkles in pants.
Conceited Man: Holds two inch member like a baseball bat.
Vigorous Man: Shakes vigorously to dry, usually the last drop lands on tip of his nose.
Dreamy Man: Looks at unit and congratulates it for it�s past performances.
New York Man: Just uses the subway.
Desperate Man: Discovers his zipper is stuck.
Painful Man: Quickly zips before everything is put away. He is usually found writhing on the floor.
Disillusioned Man: You notice the 7-year-old at the next stall has a bigger package than you.
Phone Man: Can�t stay off his cell phone. Often misses his target if the conversation is heated. Forgets the other party can hear surrounding sounds.
Viagra Man: Forgot to relieve himself before taking Viagra. Usually hits the ceiling; often knocking down ceiling tiles. Has trouble closing zipper.