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BarryRX
12-14-2012, 11:29 AM
You've been to the hospital in your golf cart.
you can't remember your anniversary, but you know your golf "pin" number.
you look forward to hearing "the electric slide" so you can get up and do the one line dance you know.
You know the best times to find an open lane to do laps.
You know the best hot dogs are from the cart at LSL.
You go out to run an errand and meet three new people who will become close friends.
You can get to every golf course in the villages without looking at a map.
You're so busy all day you wonder how you ever had time to work.
Random acts of kindness and generosity no longer surprise you.
You're cold when the temperature dips into the 50's.
Sometimes, doing 35mph on Buena Vista just seems fast.

Bogie Shooter
12-14-2012, 11:42 AM
Are a Villager if this story sounds familiar......................

Car
Keys
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I
desperately
gave myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for
my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room
revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the
car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has
scolded me many times for leaving the keys in
the ignition.

My
theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is
that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the door, I came to a
terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.


I immediately called the police. I gave them my location,
confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.


Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I
stammered;
( I always call him "honey" in times like these.)

"I left my keys in
the car and it's been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I
thought the call had been
dropped, but then I heard his voice.


"Are you kiddin' me", he barked, "I dropped you off"!!!!!!!


Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well,
come
and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop I
didn't
steal your car."

jebartle
12-14-2012, 11:50 AM
play BINGO from your golf cart
order a Village cocktail
go to bed b4 DARK!
get to restaurant b4 4:00 for dinner?
paint your driveway
wrap up a little black bag with ribbons from dog park and give to your special ??????friends for Holiday!....giggle

eweissenbach
12-14-2012, 11:50 AM
Are a Villager if this story sounds familiar......................

Car
Keys
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I
desperately
gave myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for
my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room
revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the
car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has
scolded me many times for leaving the keys in
the ignition.

My
theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is
that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the door, I came to a
terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.


I immediately called the police. I gave them my location,
confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.


Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I
stammered;
( I always call him "honey" in times like these.)

"I left my keys in
the car and it's been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I
thought the call had been
dropped, but then I heard his voice.


"Are you kiddin' me", he barked, "I dropped you off"!!!!!!!


Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well,
come
and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop I
didn't
steal your car."

......and I find your keys!

2BNTV
12-14-2012, 01:55 PM
Jumped in a golf cart and forgot where you were going!!!!

rubicon
12-14-2012, 02:40 PM
Jump in your car and make a left turn onto the cartpath.

Walk your grocery cart to your car and leave without emptying your grocery cart.

Address Bill as Dominic

Your golf game is a series of "ready fire aim"

Your lunch date consists of visting several grocery stores and stopping at each food sample station.

Cantwaittoarrive
12-14-2012, 02:45 PM
can't find your car keys because it's been 3 weeks since you needed car keys
You talk to the bar tender at City Fire more than you talk to your kids

rubicon
12-14-2012, 02:52 PM
You re-discovered "Ma and Pa Kettle"movies because now at last you understand their motiviations.:1rotfl:

Villageshooter
12-14-2012, 06:04 PM
U are trying to decide
Am I part of the half of the villagers that could care less what others think
Or I am part of the half that feels other people's business is my main goal in the limited time I have left in life!

Mikeod
12-14-2012, 06:57 PM
U are trying to decide
Am I part of the half of the villagers that could care less what others think
Or I am part of the half that feels other people's business is my main goal in the limited time I have left in life!

What a worthwhile addition to a fun, humorous thread. Way to go! barf

De Lis
12-14-2012, 07:43 PM
A friend tell you that you should be a part of the Sales Department!

Cantwaittoarrive
12-15-2012, 08:30 AM
You think everyone lives somewhere with free golf

Figmo Bohica
12-15-2012, 09:08 AM
You never stop at stop signs.
Forget what turn signals are.
Always in a hurry to get somewhere, you just don't know where, but you have to hurry to get there.

sjdjmd
12-15-2012, 03:25 PM
You go to a drive-in movie in your golf cart.

redwitch
12-15-2012, 05:26 PM
Your grandchildren would rather take a ride in the golf cart than watch TV, play video games or go to the park.

Watching a parade from your golf cart is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

You think nothing of stopping to help someone who appears to be lost even if you're a woman alone and it is dark.

mrsanborn
12-15-2012, 10:20 PM
You shape noodles into some type of chair with zip ties for the pool.

Yorio
12-16-2012, 10:14 AM
Drinking becomes fun again

Two-for-one becomes the norm

Talking to people becomes fun again

Saying "good morning" with a smile becomes a norm

Monthly calendar becomes full more so than when you were working