Marriage, anyone?

[chachacha]

Is there anyone out there, male or female, who is interested in marrying again someday? I am about to give up on even trying to meet someone because almost everyone I talk to thinks it is absolutely ok to just have sex without marriage and why complicate your life? I have been in an unhappy marriage and if that were my only frame of reference, perhaps I would feel that way, too. But I have also been in a wonderfully happy marriage which only ended because of death, and I would wish that everyone could be so fortunate as to have an experience like that. This is similar to my post on celibate singles, but with the added question as to whether modern dating even pretends to lead to courtship and marriage or just goes directly to sex, do not pass go, do not collect your $200! Am I the only single person who would like to have a traditional courtship and marriage? While gays are clamoring for the right to marry, it seems many heterosexuals do not appreciate the meaning of the union.

[Geewiz]

Is there anyone out there, male or female, who is interested in marrying again someday? I am about to give up on even trying to meet someone because almost everyone I talk to thinks it is absolutely ok to just have sex without marriage and why complicate your life? I have been in an unhappy marriage and if that were my only frame of reference, perhaps I would feel that way, too. But I have also been in a wonderfully happy marriage which only ended because of death, and I would wish that everyone could be so fortunate as to have an experience like that. This is similar to my post on celibate singles, but with the added question as to whether modern dating even pretends to lead to courtship and marriage or just goes directly to sex, do not pass go, do not collect your $200! Am I the only single person who would like to have a traditional courtship and marriage? While gays are clamoring for the right to marry, it seems many heterosexuals do not appreciate the meaning of the union.

OK - for a good McCartney ticket consider us Gay lovers in Vermont...like Ellen and Portia....Rock and Sal Mineo....Oscar Wilde and Oscar Wilde. No sex....why should this be different than my 30 year marriage to Voldemort....

[mainlander]

An interviewer stopped a distinguished older gentleman on the street and asked: "If you could give just one piece of advice about life, what would it be?",, The gentleman replied with three words: "be in love" and he turned and walked away.

[CFrance]

OK - for a good McCartney ticket consider us Gay lovers in Vermont...like Ellen and Portia....Rock and Sal Mineo....Oscar Wilde and Oscar Wilde. No sex....why should this be different than my 30 year marriage to Voldemort....

I love Geewiz.:kiss:

[Tom Hannon]

On a serious note, Ive heard the complaint from many of my single female friends, in both TV and Long Island They tell me ""all the good ones are taken" but I'm sure there are other eligible men waiting for the someone special to enter their lives. It is a jungle out there and knowing Chachacha personally she is a good catch. You'd think at the ages of Village people , a guy wouldn't be as needy this point in their life.

As a matter of fact my neighbor (female) meet a great catch in The Villages and are getting married in a few days. She found her man. Im sure your knight in shinning amour will arrive. Just don't give out any free samples until that time. I wish i knew someone for you.

[aussiemom]

Many don't remarry for the reason of money............some will lose some or all of the retirement pensions/benefits they get if they remarry.

[In awe of TV]

I'm not necessary interested in getting married again, been there, done that, but I do hope to find someone I love being with, having fun, someone who I can share an intimate relationship, share our lives together and enjoy the simple pleasures of being in love for the rest of our lives.

I may be dreaming or asking for too much but I'm still holding out for it!

Never give up Cha. You have too much love to give and there will be someone to share it with.

[graciegirl]

I love Geewiz.:kiss:

Me too.

Chachacha.

I would marry you in a heartbeat if I weren't already married and very satisfied with being a heterosexual.Plus Sweetie is hard to follow.

You are pretty...no MORE than pretty,BEAUTIFUL, smart, tri lingual, social, kind, a good cook, VERY well read and truly spiritual person. Did I say SMART???

I could be your "Yenta." Can Catholic girls be Yentas???

Only suitable boys should apply. With money.

[chachacha]

gracie, i have been a successful yenta in several cases, but can't seem to match someone for myself! appreciate any help from gracie, tom or whoever....aussiemom, i am in that position with pension loss if i remarry but i still feel that marriage is the best way to really commit to another person and to feel at peace with my own spirit. (for me, not judging anyone else) someone kindly sent me a pm about e harmony! perhaps i will give that a go! keep the comments coming...there are many stories out there, i am sure.

[manaboutown]

Although I am enjoying my life as a single I would love to get married again. Even though my marriage was not all that wonderful I liked being married for many reasons. Unfortunately I have found it difficult to find just the right woman and like you, Cha x 3, have pretty much given up. Back in college and into my mid twenties, when I married, it was easy to meet potential mates and there were many opportunities and choices. Few had much of what we now refer to as baggage. Now we all do at this point in life, which is acceptable, if the situation is workable.

[mainlander]

Many don't remarry for the reason of money............some will lose some or all of the retirement pensions/benefits they get if they remarry.

With all due respect. Does an accounting approach really qualify/diqualify the reasons for love a/o marriage? Perhaps a partial loss of one partners pension would be more than made up when the new spouses pension funds are added to the books. Would that result in twice as much love? I recently read an apt quote here just the other day which goes something like this,, "...after an hour with the right person, all of the 'must haves' go out the window".

[skyguy79]

gracie, i have been a successful yenta in several cases, but can't seem to match someone for myself! appreciate any help from gracie, tom or whoever....aussiemom, i am in that position with pension loss if i remarry but i still feel that marriage is the best way to really commit to another person and to feel at peace with my own spirit. (for me, not judging anyone else) someone kindly sent me a pm about e harmony! perhaps i will give that a go! keep the comments coming...there are many stories out there, i am sure.This article is a little dated, but you might be interested in reading it:

Consumers Report - Internet dating services, online matchmaking (http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2010/02/shopping-for-love/index.htm)

[patfla06]

I think a lot of people don't want to get legally entangled with someone.
Many want what they have left to go directly to their kids and grands.

One thing everyone should be aware of in Florida is what they call an
"Elective share" which entitles your spouse to one third of your
Estate. If you wish to remarry be smart and get that new spouse to
Opt out of being eligible for this share and other legal matters to be taken care of professionally by a lawyer.

I can see why after a happy marriage you would want to remarry.

[CFrance]

I think a lot of people don't want to get legally entangled with someone.
Many want what they have left to go directly to their kids and grands.

One thing everyone should be aware of in Florida is what they call an
"Elective share" which entitles your spouse to one third of your
Estate. If you wish to remarry be smart and get that new spouse to
Opt out of being eligible for this share and other legal matters to be taken care of professionally by a lawyer.

I can see why after a happy marriage you would want to remarry.


Yes, but I could also see why you would want to keep your finances separate, to the benefit of both spouses' children. If that's not possible with a marriage in FL, that would really give me pause if I were in that situation. I fully expect our carefully earned assets to go to our children. If something happened and one of us died and a second marriage came up, I would be very sure the assets were protected for the children.

After all... I don't know how exactly to articulate this, but this is our first family's assets. I wouldn't want it to go anywhere else, nor would I went the spouse of a second marriage to dilute his assets either. A sticky situation.

[rp001]

In two years of single life in the villages I dated quite a few nice ladies...Unfortunately I never met one that had the same goals as me, to find someone to spend the rest of my life with..All the ladies I met were interested in staying single and some in enjoying an intimate relationship without commitment.. A mutual friend from Ft Lauderdale introduced me to a lovely lady from the Boca area...I am happily married now and sure this is the one I'll spend the rest of my days with. She is retiring next month and will be here permanently then. I do know a couple of folks that got married here but that does not seem to be the norm. I wish all my single friends the best of luck in whatever their wants may be.

[patfla06]

I totally agree. If you want to remarry PROTECT YOUR ASSETS!

[manaboutown]

[/B]

Yes, but I could also see why you would want to keep your finances separate, to the benefit of both spouses' children. If that's not possible with a marriage in FL, that would really give me pause if I were in that situation. I fully expect our carefully earned assets to go to our children. If something happened and one of us died and a second marriage came up, I would be very sure the assets were protected for the children.

After all... I don't know how exactly to articulate this, but this is our first family's assets. I wouldn't want it to go anywhere else, nor would I went the spouse of a second marriage to dilute his assets either. A sticky situation.

This can probably be solved with a well drawn pre-nuptual agreement. I am not familiar with the Florida laws regarding such matters but they are the rule rather than the exception where I live now. Almost all of the people I know who have children and have remarried have signed pre-nups.

[katerogers]

Chachacha,

I know I'm new to these forums, but, you seem to be the guru of the singles scene at TV. How is it even possible that you are having a hard time meeting someone special. It does not bode well for the rest of us.

Katie

[charleyxray]

One can be married without a deep relationship. One can be in a deep relationship without being married.

[Geewiz]

Chachacha,

I know I'm new to these forums, but, you seem to be the guru of the singles scene at TV. How is it even possible that you are having a hard time meeting someone special. It does not bode well for the rest of us.

Katie

But she can dance like Ginger Rogers...and her Fred will arrive. It's karma.

[OurHappyHome]

gracie, i have been a successful yenta in several cases, but can't seem to match someone for myself! appreciate any help from gracie, tom or whoever....aussiemom, i am in that position with pension loss if i remarry but i still feel that marriage is the best way to really commit to another person and to feel at peace with my own spirit. (for me, not judging anyone else) someone kindly sent me a pm about e harmony! perhaps i will give that a go! keep the comments coming...there are many stories out there, i am sure.
You could just have a religious marriage and not a legal one. That protects the finances but binds the soul. I have a great wife and could not imagine being without her.

I agree with the online dating idea as I met my wife with a newspaper ad. This was Pre Internet 😁

Also let everyone you know that you are open to finding Mr Right.

[chachacha]

thanks, Doctor A! i think everyone i know is aware that i want to meet someone special for a lifetime commitment. meanwhile, a nice dance partner with no other expectations could also be very nice :) i guess we just have to enjoy our life as it is rather than always dreaming about a different future....i am thankful for all my blessings as they have been many.

[Happinow]

gracie, i have been a successful yenta in several cases, but can't seem to match someone for myself! appreciate any help from gracie, tom or whoever....aussiemom, i am in that position with pension loss if i remarry but i still feel that marriage is the best way to really commit to another person and to feel at peace with my own spirit. (for me, not judging anyone else) someone kindly sent me a pm about e harmony! perhaps i will give that a go! keep the comments coming...there are many stories out there, i am sure.

I met my husband on Match.com and we just celebrated our 11th anniversary May 25th! It is a royal pain dating but if you find the right man for you it is worth it. Best of luck out there!