Not to be morbid or morose but what are your funeral plans?

[senior citizen]

In thinking of a recent poster's passing, I was reminded of something I had read last year with regard to there being no funeral parlor/home in The Villages. I have seen numerous churches in THE VILLAGES.
Where is the closest funeral parlor? Closest cemetery?

Not to be morbid or morose, but it's a fact of life that everyone will pass on one of these days.......my question involves those who have already relocated in addition to those of us planning on relocating to T.V.

How many have even thought about whether or not they would want to be "returned home".......meaning body or cremains.

Many of us have had more than one "hometown".....so where would the "home port" be.......your birthplace? Last town lived in, where you raised your family?

How many don't even want a traditional old fashioned wake and funeral service.........meaning funeral parlor and church, followed by cemetery burial?

How many would just like to be cremated and have a "celebration of life" with no viewing???

We have seen more and more of the "celebration of life" simple get togethers these past twenty years........whether it is the high cost of funerals or just less religious ideas among the departed.......or whatever.

AGAIN, not to be depressing.........but I imagine just shipping a loved one back north or wherever, and then having everyone travel to the wake and funeral, would be very expensive nowadays.

We haven't even begun to plan ours. So, just wondering.....with the relocation upcoming and all.................any feedback would be welcomed.

My dad is buried in New Jersey, his family is buried in Calvary cemetery in New York........my mom's family is buried in New Jersey and she is buried in Vermont.........I realize the soul is free and the spirit can be everywhere......so I'm o.k. with that........hard on those who want to visit the gravesite or place some flowers.

Thanks to all who respond..........

[bkcunningham1]

Senior Citizen, here is a link to a local funeral home: Beyers Funeral Home and Crematory - The Villages - Lady Lake (http://www.beyersfuneralhome.com/villages/index.php)

[Parker]

Personally, I plan to be cremated with the ashes scattered in the mountains or some other pretty spot. Will leave that to my loved ones. A grave no longer seems the least important, because as you say, the spirit is elsewhere/everywhere. Families now live all over the place and may rarely or never see a burial plot again.

In fact, much of my family is buried in California, in what was once the only cemetery in a lovely small town. That cemetery is now, these many years later, in a scary area that none of us are brave enough to visit. Who would have ever foreseen that?

[In awe of TV]

My plans are simple and my children know exactly what I desire - my instructions are for cremation, with my ashes strewn in the Caribbean. Simple, short and sweet. If my kids would like to plan a vacation around my instructions, all the better!

I've always thought that funerals are so long, drawn out and a waste of money. As far as a memorial service - there won't be one. If anyone should want to donate in my memory, my favorite charity will be listed to do so.

These are just my wishes and MHO. I don't like anyone fussing over me now and I certainly don't want it once my soul has passed over. I will be watching and protecting my friends and family from the heavens above and I'll make my presence known.
: )

[rubicon]

My immediate funeral plans are to keep trying to stay alive. When that fails my wishes have been expressed and incorporated into my Estate Plan.
I wish to be cremated and my ashes disposed of by the crematory. I do not want anything elaborate as money should be spent on the living and I do not want a viewing. It will of course all be done here

[Xavier]

Grieving and Families have changed so much. My Mom and Dad came from huge families. Dad had 12 brothers and sisters and Mom had 9 brothers and sisters. I can remember 3 or 4 days of grieving and celebration. ...and the food was out of this world! Come to think of it, Weddings were a lot like funerals back then. Anyway, back then most all of the family lived close by and we're much closer than they are now. We visited family members every weekend when I was a kid. Now families are often across the country and maybe even around the world.

My wife and I have discussed the topic from time to time and have decided that we'll be taking up residence in the National Cemetery in Bushnell, FL. It's a beautiful place. It is a benefit for those who have served our country as well as a benefit for their spouse and dependents. I expect to be cremated. My wife has yet to decide, but I think she's leaning that way as well.

Xavier

[Becky]

I am with In awe of TV- just signed up with the National Creamation Society, so that is done. Kids know to take my ashes on a cruise and scatter them. No service. If someone just thinks of me and says, " I'm gonna miss Becky", then that is enough for me! (Hope it's a long ways off!)

Becky

[graciegirl]

I don't plan to leave.

[kittygilchrist]

I don't plan to leave either.

[redwitch]

Cremation with whatever pieces are left after donating body for harvesting, cutting up, whatever. I like the idea that some good can come of my death and I don't care what my daughter does with the cremains. No services. I haven't been to a funeral or memorial service since my friend's son died of AIDS and I don't want to be part of one at my death. My spirit will quite happy without that occurring.

[Quixote]

In thinking of a recent poster's passing, I was reminded of something I had read last year with regard to there being no funeral parlor/home in The Villages. I have seen numerous churches in THE VILLAGES.
Where is the closest funeral parlor? Closest cemetery?

Not to be morbid or morose, but it's a fact of life that everyone will pass on one of these days.......my question involves those who have already relocated in addition to those of us planning on relocating to T.V.

How many have even thought about whether or not they would want to be "returned home".......meaning body or cremains.

Many of us have had more than one "hometown".....so where would the "home port" be.......your birthplace? Last town lived in, where you raised your family?

How many don't even want a traditional old fashioned wake and funeral service.........meaning funeral parlor and church, followed by cemetery burial?

How many would just like to be cremated and have a "celebration of life" with no viewing???

We have seen more and more of the "celebration of life" simple get togethers these past twenty years........whether it is the high cost of funerals or just less religious ideas among the departed.......or whatever.

AGAIN, not to be depressing.........but I imagine just shipping a loved one back north or wherever, and then having everyone travel to the wake and funeral, would be very expensive nowadays.

We haven't even begun to plan ours. So, just wondering.....with the relocation upcoming and all.................any feedback would be welcomed.

My dad is buried in New Jersey, his family is buried in Calvary cemetery in New York........my mom's family is buried in New Jersey and she is buried in Vermont.........I realize the soul is free and the spirit can be everywhere......so I'm o.k. with that........hard on those who want to visit the gravesite or place some flowers.

Thanks to all who respond..........

Just want to say that I don't consider this subject "depressing." It's a part of life that every one of us deals with eventually; no one gets out of this world alive.

IMO, there is nothing for me to visit at the gravesites of family members and friends; my experience of these folks are part of my memories and are always with me. Our remains are just that—remains—while the best part of us lives on spiritually and in the memories of others.

BTW, I believe there is a funeral parlor on Buenos Aires Blvd., in a way an unfortunate location in the midst of medical office buildings.... I don't know about anyone else, but I never quite understood the word "parlor" in relation to funerals; gone are the days where folks were buried from home.

[teachnmo]

My husband and I want to be cremated. I would really like to donate my body first so they can document what actually happens to a body who has drank Diet Coke for over 45 years.

We want our family/friends to have a party and enjoy a celebration of life. I had a Celebration of Life Service for my mother when she passed away from cancer three years ago in a church where I grew up. Guess I forgot to tell my three kids who got up and talked before I did what a Celebration entailed. So they will be clear when I part to get out the beer, wine, and have a barbecue. I will be there in spirit!

Imagine that I will be the last in generations who left flowers on the graves at Christmas and Memorial Day. I am thinking about planting a flower bush that will bloom each year instead. Our cemetery in Missouri allows that.

We are headed on a cruise next month. I saw an ER show last night on TV where the husband had died on the second day of the cruise. The wife told them to keep him on hold as she was going to finish the cruise. Can't say that I blame her. Wonder if you can put in your will to have a ocean drop if you happen to die on the cruise???

[Rickg]

I am amazed at the number of us that Have given up the traditional cemetery. I believe times have changed also and have only visited a grave once. I will be cremated and my ashes spread on tablerock lake in MO. That's where the kids and us have gone for the last 31 years and continue to.

[jebartle]

Double Hefty bag and two twists.

[rayschic]

Donate organs. Cremate and spread ashes at sea.

[Madelaine Amee]

Donate whole body - everything that they can use to help someone live their life. Cremate the remains. No service, nothing in the paper, told the kids to just remember I had a wonderful life! Make that "having a wonderful life".

[Happinow]

Death is hard to think about because we all want to live forever! However, given that it is eventually going to happen. I am an organ donor because i want to help someone in need and also a part of me will still live on. I want to be cremated and my ashes put in something pretty and kept with my husband if he should still be living. When he passes, I want our ashes to be put together and hopefully kept someplace safe with my daughter. No services as I feel they are way to hard to partake in emotionally. I don't want my friends and family to be distraught over my passing, just celebrate the time that we had together.

[skip0358]

Our plans have been made and our Children know what they are. In case they forget I have written instructions. My final resting will be at the National Cemetery in Bushnell as Florida is our new home. As for Funeral Homes there are several in the area and one that I know of by TVRH that's GC accessible where I'll be.

[queasy27]

Boy, any cemetary owners or funeral directors here won't like reading this thread!

When my grandfather and mother passed many years ago, I drew comfort from attending their funeral services, which were large with many friends and relatives. My grandfather even had the traditional service at the gravesite after church.

I have no idea what's become of my grandfather's gravesite these days, or those of other relatives. There are no family members remaining in California to know or care, which seems sad -- that their bodies/bones are there, but abandoned.

I currently have two blood relatives and two in-laws, period. Should they survive me, the thought of them organizing a formal funeral is beyond ridiculous. I have a pre-paid cremation plan with instructions for the crematorium to dispose of the ashes. Scatter, schmatter.

[asianthree]

don't want to live forever..just until i can't take care of myself...don't do funeral homes, like digging a hole dropping lots of money in it and can't get it back...wonder how many ashes are actually on the golf courses in TV even though they are not allowed....

[jblum315]

Ashes to ashes.

[l2ridehd]

Got a cemetery lot with a head stone already in place in the mountains of NH. Not sure I will use it though. I might also do cremation and have the ashes strewn from the top of a mountain I know of with magnificent views about 3 or 4 miles from the headstone. It will be pre-paid, organs donated, no viewing, no funeral, maybe a celebration if I still have enough friends alive to enjoy one. At one time in a will I had set aside $10,000 for a party, but that was when I still had enough people around that might come. But they seem to be dying off faster then I planned.

[olgreeneyes]

My father's ashes went into the ocean, my godparents are in a river in upstate NY, my mother we took down to Atlantic City in the ocean. My grandmother put my grandfather's ashes in her rose bushes on Long Island, however, she moved away and when she passed, I couldn't see us asking strangers if I could put her ashes in the rose bush with her husband, so we put her in our rose bushes. Even one of our dogs ashes are in the backyard, so it will be cremation for us also. The idea of making a vacation out of it for whom ever has to dispose of them sounds like a great way to make it a happy memory.

[OldManTime]

My Cremation is bought and paid for, my ashes will be in the family plot with my parents and brothers.

[Chopper]

I'm donating any body parts that can be used. No public viewing. Cremation and burial in the Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell. No fuss, no muss!

[NotGolfer]

First of all...made sure I'm "right" with my Creator (read John 3: 16-18) Then made sure our will was compliant with FL laws then had a conversation with a local funeral home. We'll be cremated here then our urns will go up to where we grew up to be buried. We've also purchased a plot for that in a quiet country site. We wanted the plans in place so when one of us passes away it will be "easier" for the remaining person and the kids. It's not something our culture likes to think or talk about but it's pretty much a fact that 100% of us won't get out of this life alive!!!

[queasy27]

At one time in a will I had set aside $10,000 for a party, but that was when I still had enough people around that might come. But they seem to be dying off faster then I planned.
Ain't that the truth! Plus losing track of friends as I moved around and the decades rolled by. My will and final wishes when I was in my 30s-40s were a lot different than they are now.

[Parker]

Interesting point made several times here about having no services, no funeral. With the high cost of traditional funerals, and our frequently scattered families unable to attend, it makes me wonder if no-frills 'lite funerals' may be a new trend? I have to say it would appeal to me. Don't want my children burdened with the expense, time, or trouble of saying goodbye. As one poster above said, "No muss, No fuss."

Oh dear, the death industry (and it is an industry) won't like that!

[Lbmb24101]

Funerals are usually for the benefit of the living....
My mom wanted to be cremated and i convinced her not to.
Back in 1995 when she passed, i thoight the Church was against cremation.
I read recently that now one can also dispose of a body w water ( special chemicals) and that, might seem gentler than fire.
We have not discussed this topic.
My hubby is Jewish and I am Catholc.
It is necessary but oh so unpleasant....i am still undecided but i do know i want a Catholic Mass

[DaleMN]

Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light :doh:

[gocubsgo]

Cremated and put in the ivy at Wrigley Field

[travelguy]

put me out with the recyclables on friday morning, or put me in the back yard and plant a live oak on top.

[senior citizen]

Senior Citizen, here is a link to a local funeral home: Beyers Funeral Home and Crematory - The Villages - Lady Lake (http://www.beyersfuneralhome.com/villages/index.php)


Thank you !!

[senior citizen]

Personally, I plan to be cremated with the ashes scattered in the mountains or some other pretty spot. Will leave that to my loved ones. A grave no longer seems the least important, because as you say, the spirit is elsewhere/everywhere. Families now live all over the place and may rarely or never see a burial plot again.

In fact, much of my family is buried in California, in what was once the only cemetery in a lovely small town. That cemetery is now, these many years later, in a scary area that none of us are brave enough to visit. Who would have ever foreseen that?

Great minds think alike.

About a dozen years ago, our now 42 year old son told everyone , in writing, that he wanted his ashes scattered up in the Colorado Rockies and that his friends would know where to put them........his favorite place.

More and more, I'm hearing things like this.......

We know top executives who say "Don't waste money on a funeral; just send me off in the cheapest way possible....a cardboard box." Serious.

I had an Eastern Rite "Greek Catholic" priest tell me once:
"Funerals are not for the dead........they are for the living".

You can take that as "Do kind things for your loved ones when they are alive". It doesn't matter after they are dead.

Thanks for sharing.............

[senior citizen]

My father's ashes went into the ocean, my godparents are in a river in upstate NY, my mother we took down to Atlantic City in the ocean. My grandmother put my grandfather's ashes in her rose bushes on Long Island, however, she moved away and when she passed, I couldn't see us asking strangers if I could put her ashes in the rose bush with her husband, so we put her in our rose bushes. Even one of our dogs ashes are in the backyard, so it will be cremation for us also. The idea of making a vacation out of it for whom ever has to dispose of them sounds like a great way to make it a happy memory.

Every single response has been wonderful to read....... I can't reply to every single one......but I thank all for their thoughts......cremation seems to be leading so far........it's what I've been thinking of myself.

So, firstly, thanks to everyone............

But your post about the ashes in the rose bush reminded me of a dear neighbor of ours whose elderly sister (he was elderly also) had put her own husband's ashes (in some type of disposable box) outside on her back steps. She was in early stage Alzheimers at the time.

Unbeknownst to her.......the garbage men picked it up, thinking it was part of her weekly garbage load......being just a plain nondescript box.

Goodbye HUBBY..........guess he ended up in the landfill.

There was no way to trace it as our garbage trucks GRIND UP the stuff they pick up.

Luckily, I do believe in the spirit.......and I know for a fact that the spirit lives on.......much happier without it's diseased body. Lighter and freer.

So, survival of the spirit is what's important......I guess; not the burying spot.

We watched something on Public Television yesterday about an embalmer who owned a funeral home in N.Y.C........he did a beautiful, loving makeover on his elderly "clients".........but I do think that business is on its way out. They also showed a mortician in the south, again devoted to his "clientele"........but just watching the corpses in the coffins primped and made up.........which brings me to another question....{what else is new?}

If you are going to be cremated.........is that with NO CALLING HOURS?
Meaning, "no viewing" at all by the family?

Sometimes, these funeral directors will talk people into having the viewing hours and then in some states you still have to purchase the coffin in which you are cremated??? With no viewing hours, that would not be an issue.

We're watching all the re runs of THE SOPRANOS.......and they sure did go to a lot of funerals........just as my grandmothers and the elders did.......
it was very social back in those days......however, not everyone lives around the corner from each other anymore.........and with folks all over the country and all over the world, as another poster mentioned, just travel to the funeral can be difficult.........cremation is simpler.

I agree with those who said, "Let them have their memories of me while alive and the good times we shared"....
I'm paraphrasing.....

In other words, rather than their last memory being of us in our coffin.

[senior citizen]

Cremated and put in the ivy at Wrigley Field

Love that idea....

[senior citizen]

p.s.
My last thought is that with so many of us having what's left of our siblings, etc. scattered all over the country and getting on in years themselves.........our friends passing, our elders gone already......ditto for aunts, uncles and such......

Pre planning long distance funeral, such as one of our female family members did about a decade ago.......may not be easy to achieve........

She told everyone she was giving them "two weeks notice" to get there (flying); she planned a TWO HOUR church service and listed all of the songs she wanted played.....she prepaid the "repast" luncheon, which would take place after the graveside ceremony..........so this , as you can imagine, would be a very very long morning..............not to mention the "viewing" the evening before in the funeral parlor. My guess is only her own adult kids will show up.

I just don't take myself that serious to pre plan such a big elaborate funeral for myself. I'm so confident that the spirit lives on and is joyous when free, that I opt for cremation. My husband says, "Send me out the cheapest way possible"...."Don't waste the money"........for the men, it seems more to be about the cost.

Although the women might not say it, I think they are feeling that they don't want the viewers to say, "Oh my gosh.....look at how good she looks; she never looked that good when alive". Just teasing.........

My mom would tell stories of how the old ladies in the neighborhood would go from "wake to wake" for the free luncheons........whether they intimately knew the people or not.........the old time Italians were known for their histrionics (yelling and crying and screaming over the deceased)........I remember that also.

[jacey mack]

Neptune Society

[senior citizen]

Neptune Society

Interesting website......

On another subject, for quite some time now, various websites have been offering memorial DIAMONDS to wear which are made from the ashes / carbon of the decedent.

I told my husband that if he ever did that to me, I would haunt him for all eternity.

I just looked it up and they are more expensive than any funeral.......unless you got the tiniest diamond.

They come in various colors, shapes, sizes, and prices.

He had a friend who is quite well off who was "thinking" of doing that to his dead wife.

Not my cup of tea.

However, to you women who feel you never got the diamond you wanted..........here's your chance.
Should be lots of carbon in one full size male.

[springfield]

I prepaid for the Neptune Society for my cremation. Once I am gone, they handle everything including death certificates. I already have my lovely rosewood box but they can scatter me if they want, put me in a hole and plant a tree, whatever. I have a notebook for my family with obit info., my letters to them, account info. etc. I tried to spell things out as much as possible so they don't have to think about what I would want. Now that that is taken care of, I can go on and continue my sweet life here in TV..

[ijusluvit]

My wife and I have made arrangements to donate our bodies to the medical school at a nearby university. Useful organs will be harvested immediately and our bodies will be used in the training of future surgeons and other doctors. Finally, the remains will be cremated and turned over to our children who will scatter the ashes in our favorite place. The surviving spouse or the children will arrange a reception/party for the deceased. This will be an informal get-together with no speeches or other formalities - just good fellowship.

[jdsl1998]

Scattering Ashes - Memorial Reef | Eternal Reefs - (http://www.eternalreefs.com)
All my family knows this is what I want. True recycling. And a party afterward at a great seafood place with all my friends and family. I'll be watching....

[lanabanana73]

A friend told me today about how they put the ashes of a friend of hers into about 5 fireworks and lit them off. Now, that's what I call going out with a BANG!! It was very appealing to me!