I Am 48, I Am An Early Retiree, I Live In The Villages

[floridanative17]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

[DougB]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

No one ever questions my wife and she is in her 40's. Maybe it's a matter of perception. Look on the bright side, someone thinks you're young looking.

[CFrance]

It might be different for a guy than for your wife, Doug B. Maybe guys are assumed to be retirement age? I don't know.

I would be interested to know the nature of the challenges the OP receives. Are they challenges from TV personnel or comments from other residents? Everyone at the pools are asked to present ID's sooner or later. I don't know about inside the rec centers. We have some younger late 30- to40-something people playing pickleball in our groups, and they are never questioned.

[floridanative17]

Thank you for the responses. I have always been accused of looking "young-ish" for my age, and believe me, I do see i as a compliment. But to be constantly asked to show proof of residence over and again, and to be ostracized due to age ("there is no way he can be a Villager, he is too young"), has nothing but tarnished the "Florida's Friendliest Hometown" image. I was born and raised in Florida, this is not how we treat our own! As well, my wife is a young-ish looking 50 (we do workout and mind our diets), and she does receive more rude looks and comments than I. She is, however, more tolerant than I.

[57ChevyFI]

Just turned 50 here wife is 39, we have the same thing happen all the time. I'm happy the Villages is diligent enough to check ID's, so it doesn't bother us. As for people saying we are to young to live here, we laugh about it on a continuous basis. We have fun with it, instead of being upset and by no way do we feel ostracized.

[floridanative17]

57Chevy, thank you for you kind words. We, as well, are thankful for their occasional diligence. And we have laughed it off as well. Understand, we are going nowhere, as we both grew up less than 3 hours drive from here. But we have received, many times, less than welcome receptions continuously in our home state (er, neighborhood/village) right here in The Villages. I wish I was more apt to laughing it off, but the reception is often the opposite of what you have received.

[manaboutown]

The author of "Leisureville", Andrew Blechman, who was in his late thirties at the time, was questioned while he was swimming at a pool in The Villages. The "civilian" woman Villager who questioned him had even checked out the plates on his rental car which were local. She thought he was a local slipping in for a dip in "her" pool. According to what he wrote she and he were the only people at the pool at the time.

Trophy wives living in 55 and over retirement communities are not particularly welcomed, either, from what I read and from what a friend's trophy wife (who lives in another 55 and over community) tells me. She gets repeatedly questioned and carded at that community's pools and receives dirty looks and nasty comments from some of the women - around the community, not just at the pools.

[graciegirl]

I personally think this may be what it is...and it all may be something else.

Who moves to a community designed for the over 55 and is surprised and annoyed because they are treated as if they are younger than the majority of the inhabitants when they are? I can't decide if it Is complaining or bragging.

Freshmen have always had a bit of problems from the senior class.

[floridanative17]

manabouttown, I wouldn't exactly call Mrs. FloridaNative17 a trophy wife, but she is probably in better shape than most. I, however, take offense, on occasion, to the "non-Villager" comments she receives. We do appear to be "in-shape" regardless of our ages and Mrs. FloridaNative17 has kept a part-time job to off-set the occasional Tri-Care co-pays and such. We would just like to be appreciated as "Gen-X" retiree's who planned well for our future and not as some invaders of the "Greatest Generation/Silent Generation/Baby Boomer Generation" domiciles. We have the same right to be here as everyone else.

[floridanative17]

Gracie, thank you so much for your appreciative, but off-center comment. As a Retired Infantryman/Ranger (Panama/Desert Storm/Mogadishu), I believe I have every right to be a member of this community as anyone over 55 years of age.

[NotGolfer]

I would just say..."thank you for your service!" There are "some" here in T.V. (hopefully the minority) who don't have the social graces to be polite. I would say...you don't have to show your I.D. to other residents to prove anything. I'd just turn away and ignore it with a smile...don't give them the power.

[Bosoxfan]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

I was 52 when we first bought here so I kind of know how you're feeling. I'm now 56 and still feel like I'm too young to be here.Most people we're friendly with have anywhere from 5 to 15 years on me so at times it's hard to relate .I guess when these folks look at us it may be difficult for them.JMO

[graciegirl]

manabouttown, I wouldn't exactly call Mrs. FloridaNative17 a trophy wife, but she is probably in better shape than most. I, however, take offense, on occasion, to the "non-Villager" comments she receives. We do appear to be "in-shape" regardless of our ages and Mrs. FloridaNative17 has kept a part-time job to off-set the occasional Tri-Care co-pays and such. We would just like to be appreciated as "Gen-X" retiree's who planned well for our future and not as some invaders of the "Greatest Generation/Silent Generation/Baby Boomer Generation" domiciles. We have the same right to be here as everyone else.

Well you in shape specimens...tell us all who is picking on you and tell us how exactly you would like to be appreciated. I never thought when I entered a rec center about being appreciated. I am gorgeous, but I have learned to live with it. ;)

People generally sit next to me at the rec centers and say;

Deal.
Great picture.
How many bingo cards
Roll the dice.
Can I share your music stand.
Would you pass the napkins.

They hardly ever comment on my age. No one really knows if you are a resident or a visitor on the squares and in the shops and restaurants. There are many contractors who are younger and worker bees who are younger and lots of folks visiting their families that are younger and people living with their family members to care for them who are younger. I am surprised at the problems you are having quite honestly. Many fifty somethings look forty something.

[mrfixit]

>>>>>>>>>>>>Post was Shortened<<<<<<<<<<<<<,

......when I visit a Rec Center or Rec Center Pool, I always have to present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status..........
.................. That said, I am tired of the constant queries.

Lucky you..able to retire young...and look young.

Me on the other hand...
I look like someone taped my mouth to a bus exhaust and then dragged
me through a briar patch.

When entering a Rec Center my ID is always checked....and....
..... when that "cah-coo" sound emits from their electronic wand
.............I am welcomed with a smile.

I feel GOOD that the person in charge of admittance always checks.
That is what they are supposed to do. I would be rare if each person
entering was not checked-in.

The State Fire Marshall set a legal capacity for each room in a Rec Center.
When being admitted they ask which function you are attending and check
you into that room by pushing the appropriate button.

The asking of your residential STATUS is rare......Once you have been to a Rec center
and the same person is on duty, ID will still
be wanded but your "Status" will not be asked.
...each type of ID is color coded.
...your Status displayed on wand must match the card.
...why they "ask" your status ? = to elimimate "shared" or forged cards being used.
(..if your reply did not match the info on card they would simply admit you
and call the appropriate 5-0... and then charge you with forgery or trespass...
and/or..illegal use of an electronic ID )

At least that is the way it is supposed to work.

........

[floridanative17]

Thank you BoSoxFan and NotGolfer for your kind comments. I wish I received more of what y'all espouse. In other words, when my neighbors understand who I am and where I come from, I am treated well. Otherwise, I have to receive disdain and derision continuously. My wife's treatment is even worse. We don't want to call anyone/anyplace out, but when we owned in Country Club Hills we received better treatment. Older community, different mores, etc. Now that we have purchased in a "newer" community South of 466, we receive consistent and continuous abuse/neglect from our newer neighbors. Thank you for not seeing me as a deserving and diligent neighbor, regardless of age!

[floridanative17]

Thank you for not seeing me as a deserving and diligent neighbor, regardless of age!

Should read "Thank you for seeing me as a deserving and diligent neighbor, regardless of age!"

And regardless of typos!

[graciegirl]

Thank you BoSoxFan and NotGolfer for your kind comments. I wish I received more of what y'all espouse. In other words, when my neighbors understand who I am and where I come from, I am treated well. Otherwise, I have to receive disdain and derision continuously. My wife's treatment is even worse. We don't want to call anyone/anyplace out, but when we owned in Country Club Hills we received better treatment. Older community, different mores, etc. Now that we have purchased in a "newer" community South of 466, we receive consistent and continuous abuse/neglect from our newer neighbors. Thank you for not seeing me as a deserving and diligent neighbor, regardless of age!



It could be the heat. Or a meteor shower. I bet you don't look as young as you think. Don't worry. You are getting older.

[floridanative17]

Ah yes, Gracie! We are not to be picked on, but not to be treated as equals, I suppose. Soon after joining the Villages Community, I moved my mother from my native Pinellas County to our Villages, much to her chagrin. My mother is Miccosukee, and was less than willing to move to a "Carpetbagger" community than I, being from the Indian Reservation in Collier County and all. However, due to her age, she is willingly accepted, while my wife and I do not encounter the same acceptance. Age bias, you decide, I believe I have enough evidence.

[graciegirl]

Ah yes, Gracie! We are not to be picked on, but not to be treated as equals, I suppose. Soon after joining the Villages Community, I moved my mother from my native Pinellas County to our Villages, much to her chagrin. My mother is Miccosukee, and was less than willing to move to a "Carpetbagger" community than I, being from the Indian Reservation in Collier County and all. However, due to her age, she is willingly accepted, while my wife and I do not encounter the same acceptance. Age bias, you decide, I believe I have enough evidence.


Two of our good friends are your age. They have lived in The Villages for several years and are a huge amount of fun and dear folks in every way. They organize many events in our village and are the sparklers of our group. We love them dearly and they get along comfortably with all of our group that range from their age to a couple in their eighties. She and I celebrate our birthdays one day apart and two decades plus. We have so much in common that she never makes me feel older and her being young is just what she is. She doesn't have any problems with her age and we don't have any problems with her age. We tease her lovingly about her beautiful complexion and her great softball skills. People are who they are unless they let age define them or they may be lookin' for a fight.

[floridanative17]

???

[buggyone]

" Otherwise, I have to receive disdain and derision continuously. My wife's treatment is even worse. Now that we have purchased in a "newer" community South of 466, we receive consistent and continuous abuse/neglect from our newer neighbors."

Perhaps what you perceive as continuous abuse and neglect from your neighbors might be the perception on their part you are deriding them based on age. Just a thought. Why not go to their doors with your wife and invite them over one at a time for cocktails and cookies to get to know them? You very well might find them to be charming but reserved people who would like to hear some of your achievements in the Army.

[floridanative17]

Thank you buggyone for the sage advice. My neighbors have been nothing more than accepting after they come to know both myself and my wife. The "near" neighbors are not the problem. The continuing looks, glances, and jibes while at the squares, pools, rec centers, followed by the "how is it possible that you belong here?" queries are a problem. At first, I just assumed the "I belong" attitude. Now I just avoid functions altogether. I believe I have every right to participate as a homeowner, or do I not because I am 48? I am a retiree as well.

[floridanative17]

Gracie, I apologize for being unusually harsh towards your responses, but I believe I always read a bias against those who were younger than 55 in your previous posts as a long time reader. I just want to go put it out that we, as Gen-X Retirees, deserve every consideration as the Baby Boomers regardless of the fact we missed our birth by a couple of years. We planned well for our future and we are now reaping the rewards of our sound fiscal planning. Please see my post for what they are, and please don't defend those who use untoward bias in their judgement, despite their status. Some of our neighbors are not what they seem, I know his better than anyone.

[Halibut]

Do you not get offered the senior discount at restaurants and such, floridanative17? That would upset me more. :laugh:

I'm sorry to hear you've felt ostracized or belittled, though. I honestly think some (a lot?) of residents may not fully realize that Villagers under 55 are just as welcome and just as much our neighbors as anyone over that magic number. Even so, there's no excuse for it.

[graciegirl]

Gracie, I apologize for being unusually harsh towards your responses, but I believe I always read a bias against those who were younger than 55 in your previous posts as a long time reader. I just want to go put it out that we, as Gen-X Retirees, deserve every consideration as the Baby Boomers regardless of the fact we missed our birth by a couple of years. We planned well for our future and we are now reaping the rewards of our sound fiscal planning. Please see my post for what they are, and please don't defend those who use untoward bias in their judgement, despite their status. Some of our neighbors are not what they seem, I know his better than anyone.

I apologize. I really didn't think you were serious. Sometimes later in the evening we get visited by folks who kind of like to pull our collective legs.

I think if you soldier on and try to be patient, everyone will be nicer.

[DougB]

Enjoy looking young while you can

[redwitch]

Some are under the assumption that because this is a 55+ community, no one under 55 is allowed to live here. Therefore, when they see someone under 55 with a resident ID, they are stunned that that person is allowed to live here. They are truly upset when they find out you only have to be over 19. Not what they expected and, therefore, there is a resentment by some.

Try not to let them get you down. You'll find many accepting of you regardless of your age, just as your neighbors have. As to those that don't, their loss.

[sueandskip]

Gracie, thank you so much for your appreciative, but off-center comment. As a Retired Infantryman/Ranger (Panama/Desert Storm/Mogadishu), I believe I have every right to be a member of this community as anyone over 55 years of age.

For someone who has seen action in the military on foreign soil these 55 plus people seem to be getting the better of you...MAN UP !

[Golfingnut]

WOW. Strange to say the least. I have done my combat military time but never thought that gave me any special rights or privileges. I did learn to improvise, adapt and overcome obstacles in silence. When something smells, it may be rotten.

[jhrc4]

I am really puzzled by this post. To get upset over something so trivial as this is really disturbing. I am 75 years old, retired USAF, and have gotten many comments such as what ??? you are 75..and retired military..hard to believe etc,etc. I am not going to go into my career no point let's say it was " Interesting " and leave it there. Comments that you have received, try to take it as nothing more than a passing observation and as individuals get to know and recognize you and your wife they will pass it along to others.The ID check..that is a must and a requirement for many,many reasons,my wife and I always thank the person who is doing the checking.
We have a wonderful community here,try not take it personal because it really isn't.

[DougB]

I agree with jhrc

[jannd228]

???

The people who post here are kind, courteous, and friendly

Be happy, you are able to be retired at a young age and live in a wonderful community, maybe you should change your outlook from all about "me" to all about "we"

[jimmer]

I am 49 and have lived here for 4 years. I too have been profiled at the rec centers. It does bother me. It does help me understand what minority people in this country have gone threw. Being a white male and growing up in a white northern town, It has helped me grow.
PS - I have noticed it decreasing over the years. I am sure when all the developers advertising stops after "build out" it will further improve.

[rockyisle]

I see our group got a little out of control and now the administrator has taken down Gracie's new thread post. To you, our Florida Native - I say thank you very much for your service to our country. I would hope that most of us are happy to have you here in TV to share your retirement dollars and youth.
My brother (53) and his wife(45) purchased a home here this spring because they have loved the lifestyle that only TV can give. Unfortunately, that does bring with it some amazing discriminatory comments - especially toward his working wife - who is still contributing to our social security system so those of us who have retired can continue to receive our checks each month. She is always carded and definitely snide comments are made by older women on being too young to be here. I've witnessed it myself.
Reading is fundamental (read your contracts before you purchase) and perception is reality for some. I'm also guessing that some of our senior contributors have conveniently forgotten that we have a "family village" here as well. Without younger people around us, there would be no one to serve them their drinks at the bar each night or card them at Publix.

[k2at]

This problem will pass with time.

[NECHFalcon68]

My mother is Miccosukee, and was less than willing to move to a "Carpetbagger" community than I, being from the Indian Reservation in Collier County and all.

Thanks for your service, but the use of the term "Carpetbagger" sort of puts a damper on your post.

[graciegirl]

I see our group got a little out of control and now the administrator has taken down Gracie's new thread post. To you, our Florida Native - I say thank you very much for your service to our country. I would hope that most of us are happy to have you here in TV to share your retirement dollars and youth.
My brother (53) and his wife(45) purchased a home here this spring because they have loved the lifestyle that only TV can give. Unfortunately, that does bring with it some amazing discriminatory comments - especially toward his working wife - who is still contributing to our social security system so those of us who have retired can continue to receive our checks each month. She is always carded and definitely snide comments are made by older women on being too young to be here. I've witnessed it myself.
Reading is fundamental (read your contracts before you purchase) and perception is reality for some. I'm also guessing that some of our senior contributors have conveniently forgotten that we have a "family village" here as well. Without younger people around us, there would be no one to serve them their drinks at the bar each night or card them at Publix.

Just to set the record straight. I don't drink. I bought wine for a party at Publix a couple of weeks ago and jokingly said...AREN'T you going to card me? They did. I'm good.

I really thought it was someone pulling our collective legs. I am sorry for my snarky remarks.

[Cantwaittoarrive]

Maybe we should start a group of young retirees. I don't mind the comments and questioning I just figure they are jealous they couldn't retire young.

[JP]

Pretty odd thread in general. Me thinks there are issues at play.

[floridanative17]

Pretty odd thread in general. Me thinks there are issues at play.

And what is your theory? I am interested in your reply.

[DianeM]

I think it's a smart move for a younger person who is retired to live here. There's lots to do and a potentially profitable home ownership experience. I embrace younger people. They keep me in the loop with what's current and prevent becoming stuck in a mindset.

[floridanative17]

Thanks for your service, but the use of the term "Carpetbagger" sort of puts a damper on your post.

A poor choice of words on my part. But the term was used to indicate that there was a time, not too long ago, that Southerners were not as accepting of our new neighbors from the North. And yes, I recognize the irony of the term with regards to this thread, and apologize for it's use.

[nitehawk]

I know how you feel when i went to college at 14 years old - i felt out of place i thought about quitting and joining the service but i did not---if i only know what a great job the military can be

[quirky3]

When I finally get to TV, if I were lucky enough to have this happen to me more than once, I would give them a beaming smile and say "Thank you!" And if they asked to see my TV ID, I would give them a wink and say, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!", then walk away.

[floridanative17]

Most of the comments on this thread have been positive in nature, thank you for the good karma. It gives one food for thought, maybe the problems I am having are just a result of running into the wrong people and possibly giving them a bad vibe. Maybe I am beign overly sensitive and should care less what they think and just go on with life.

[mac6115cd]

Just write it off as OPS - Old People's Syndrom. They're unhappy because you planned well and they didn't. Envy is the hatred of the good for being good.

If a resident asked for your ID, ask for theirs and tell them they're younger than they look!

[BobnBev]

The few times I've gone to the Mallory pool, I have never been asked for an ID.
If I'm ever challenged, they better have an official employee I.D.
I'm usually not rude, but don't tempt me. :a20::rant-rave::boxing2:

[JP]

Most of the comments on this thread have been positive in nature, thank you for the good karma. It gives one food for thought, maybe the problems I am having are just a result of running into the wrong people and possibly giving them a bad vibe. Maybe I am beign overly sensitive and should care less what they think and just go on with life.

I think you may have found the answer. You are expecting something bad to happen and it shows and it happens.

[ssmith]

Just wondering if.....some are worried that their 55 status development is going away? Changing? Don't understand how they worked all of their lives and finally could retire when you are younger and did it. (this was my in-laws opinion....they worked long and hard hours, sacrificed much and then finally were able to retire---and would never have thought of retiring early---just their ethic maybe not others) (wish we could figure out how to do it) Not saying it is founded just wondering.

Perhaps some like being around older people just like them (common generation experiences)and don't want to see that disappear. (Gracie that is not you....you are much younger than most in your heart!!!!)

Wonder if others have tried to get around the rules....ie outside the establishment trying to abuse the priviledges of the place so they (the confronters) are protective of it.

We have rented often and at times have been treated differently. I try to understand cause this is not my hometown...however it is yours. In fact I do understand that they have paid for this place ie classes etc and I have not as a renter. We started coming there when we were in our early 50's and often got comments about it!

Sorry it has been so disappointing for you. This (TOTV) is a place to express ideas but doubt that it will change in your every day experiences other than perhaps getting confirmation for you and/or you seeing why it happens.

Thanks too for your service.

[lovinganimals]

I am 44 and just moved here a month ago. While at the Mulberry sports pool with my husband 9who is in his 50s), I was questioned while in the pool, which I was told is a no-no. I was told they only card you when you are not in the water. Anyway, the gentleman came over to the side of the pool and said in a rude voice, "are you 30?" And I said "yes, I live here" and again even louder and still rude "I don't care if you live here, are you 30?" Needless to say, I was upset. I don't usually mind the comments, but he was very rude. I wanted to report him but I couldn't find him later to get his name.

[perrjojo]

I am 70 and every time I go to a rec center, I am asked to show my ID. Most times at the pool we are asked to show our ID. I don't think they are asking you to do anything that is not asked of all residents. As far as the age comments go, many people just don't realize that 20% of our population can be younger than 55. Just consider that you are educating the unknowing.

[graciegirl]

I am 44 and just moved here a month ago. While at the Mulberry sports pool with my husband 9who is in his 50s), I was questioned while in the pool, which I was told is a no-no. I was told they only card you when you are not in the water. Anyway, the gentleman came over to the side of the pool and said in a rude voice, "are you 30?" And I said "yes, I live here" and again even louder and still rude "I don't care if you live here, are you 30?" Needless to say, I was upset. I don't usually mind the comments, but he was very rude. I wanted to report him but I couldn't find him later to get his name.

You must be a great looking girl who looks to be in her twenties at 44. You do know that the adult pools have an age restriction of 30.

I am an old looking girl, but trapped inside of me is a 16 year old. No one asks me much to show them ID but they all seem to smile at me. I like it here.

[asianthree]

i just thought is was me but everytime i am at the pool each person comes and checks my id and maybe one other then goes back inside...I will be there since the opening of the pool others come after me and not ever checked...and its not because i look that young...now while reading or with my eyes closed i hold up my id and and continue with my day...

[The Buckeyes]

What are the age restrictions and the rules for the villages to be deemed a retirement community?......I was always under the assumption at least one person in a residence had to be 55+. Just asking.

[birdawg]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

Thanks for your SERVICE to our country.

[rayschic]

Most of the comments on this thread have been positive in nature, thank you for the good karma. It gives one food for thought, maybe the problems I am having are just a result of running into the wrong people and possibly giving them a bad vibe. Maybe I am beign overly sensitive and should care less what they think and just go on with life.

I moved down here in my forties and have been here almost 8 years. I still get lots of nasty comments about being too young to be here. I have noticed that it is a lot of the same people. For example, my street used to have monthly parties and at EVERY party, two of the couples would corner me and grill me about why I lived here. At first, I was offended because I felt they were being pretty rude. But, after they kept bringing it up at EVERY party, I just excuse myself to talk to someone else and laugh it off. Some peolple will NOT change their opinion that younger people don't deserve to be here. I have also gotten a few snide remarks at the pool. You just can't change how OTHER people feel, so try to just laugh it off. It's not worth getting upset about. I don't expect to get these comments much longer. LOL

[graciegirl]

I moved down here in my forties and have been here almost 8 years. I still get lots of nasty comments about being too young to be here. I have noticed that it is a lot of the same people. For example, my street used to have monthly parties and at EVERY party, two of the couples would corner me and grill me about why I lived here. At first, I was offended because I felt they were being pretty rude. But, after they kept bringing it up at EVERY party, I just excuse myself to talk to someone else and laugh it off. Some peolple will NOT change their opinion that younger people don't deserve to be here. I have also gotten a few snide remarks at the pool. You just can't change how OTHER people feel, so try to just laugh it off. It's not worth getting upset about. I don't expect to get these comments much longer. LOL

Rayshic?

Are they all nasty? Or just sort of back handed complements. I know a girl of 90 and she is beautiful and she is always getting..."You are way too young to live here". And she generally receives that compliment with her usual grace.

I sort of look on youth and the appearance of youth as a lovely blessing just as the blessing of skill or athletic ability. I kind of have been taught that we don't put those advantages out to others and especially to those who do not have them. It seems obvious in a community of mostly over 55 people that those who are younger are generally more fit and more attractive. Sometimes it is hard to tell. This whole issue just doesn't sit right with me. I have spent the entire morning trying to see the ugliness in my soul and I am sure it is my character weakness somehow.

I would like to hear just what kind of rude comments do older people address toward younger residents? I am aware of the reverse, unfortunately. Sometimes groups of younger prople form to exclude older ones here and I am told that that is because older people and younger people do not have the same interests. I am still trying to understand all this.

I know that I was beginning to disappear in my whole spectrum age community up North. Strangers often would look through me. If this has happened to you, you will know what I mean. I love that here we are all somewhat the same age and have many of the same life experiences. We have launched our families, had interesting work, managed to save and sacrifice enough to quit working and had enough courage to leave the familiar to begin a new life. It just feels nice to be with age peers, give or take 30 or 40 years. I still love young people and have not forgotten how to speak their language but am glad to be with people who have been there and done that in life.

This whole thread has made me feel bad.... And especially when people I think very much of were shocked at my attitude. I most certainly must be wrong.

[Chazz]

Floridanative17, I thank you for your service to this country and for helping to make TV a more diverse and interesting place to live! I'm sorry that there are some who live here that don't see things that way, but every place has people who we might prefer to not encounter. Try not to let them get you down.

[ilovetv]

What are the age restrictions and the rules for the villages to be deemed a retirement community?......I was always under the assumption at least one person in a residence had to be 55+. Just asking.

It has to do with federal laws against age discrimination in housing (in this case against children and people under 55), and the federal exemption given for a 55+ community. Twenty percent can be under 55 with this, below, and then TV has its own added restriction of nobody under age 19 living here.

See Questions 14 and 15 at:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/fheo/library/hopa95.pdf

I don't know how anybody here could not want some people under age 55 and over 19 living here. Many people get really stiff and crabby after age 70 and it's good to have some new blood and youth around to balance it out.

[BettyCrocked]

Floridanative, I feel your pain. The first time I met one of my next door neighbors, he said "we are SO glad to see some young blood moving in!" He elaborated that there are still a couple of first generation homeowners on our street that are unable to participate in activities any longer.
He then went on to warn me that there are also many villagers who love to look down their nose at anyone who isn't from their generation. Frankly, I haven't encountered it in person as much as I have on this forum, lol!
Just let it roll off your back. I have found that there are just as many "bitter old goats" out there as there are "rude babyboomers".

[ajbrown]

It has to do with federal laws against age discrimination in housing (in this case against children and people under 55), and the federal exemption given for a 55+ community. Twenty percent can be under 55 with this, below, and then TV has its own added restriction of nobody under age 19 living here.

See Questions 14 and 15 at:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/fheo/library/hopa95.pdf

I don't know how anybody here could not want some people under age 55 and over 19 living here. Many people get really stiff and crabby after age 70 and it's good to have some new blood and youth around to balance it out.

The Villages does allow 20% to be under 55. I only state it like that because they do not have to. If you look at the link above, specifically question 16, you will see they legally could change the 80% to 100%. I know this first hand as we were denied buying a condo in a 55+ community in MA as I was 52. I proudly told them I already own a home in a 55+ community but they dd not care....:a20:

I have owned in TV since I was 51 years old. I have never encountered any comments that you describe. I have no doubt what folks are saying is real and sadly it leads me to only one conclusion: I look OLD for my age :ohdear:

[sharonga]

My husband and I look young. We are not in great physical shape!!!! Sometimes we are asked if we are here visiting our parents!!! I love it!!!! Soon enough they will stop asking!!

[redwitch]

Gracie, one of the women I play bridge with looks pretty young. She is over 55 but most definitely does not look her age (maybe 40-45 but no older). I've heard people tell her she has no business living in an over-55 community; she should not be using Villages resources since she's not eligible to live here; can't she find a place to live with people her own age. Truly mean and obnoxious comments and, in her case, totally unfounded. She is one of the most gracious people I've ever met and replies gently that she is in fact very entitled to live here and thanks them for thinking she is so young. Me? I'd deck a couple of these biddies.

I have great sympathy for anyone under 55 living here. They are a minority and frequently treated as such. They do get rude comments and nasty looks, usually by the "ladies" in their late 60's, early 70's. Jealousy? Maybe. Lack of knowledge of retirement community laws? Definitely. Protectiveness of the community? Possibly.

Fortunately, there are just as many who welcome these younger residents. I hope FloridaNative has found this to be true as well.

FloridaNative, definitely try to ignore the rudeness you and your wife encounter and have some pity for these folks who don't know the laws and are jealous of your youth and ability to retire young. For those trying to protect the community, thank them because they are protecting your interests as well (even if dead wrong).

[BettyCrocked]

I have great sympathy for anyone under 55 living here. They are a minority and frequently treated as such. They do get rude comments and nasty looks, usually by the "ladies" in their late 60's, early 70's. Jealousy? Maybe. Lack of knowledge of retirement community laws? Definitely. Protectiveness of the community? Possibly.

Fortunately, there are just as many who welcome these younger residents. I hope FloridaNative has found this to be true as well.



Well said, Redwitch. One of the biggest reasons we bought our retirement home there is because everybody appeared to be SOO happy while we were visiting. I encounter a lot of "old biddies" who aren't happy if they aren't complaining where I live now, so the attitude there was very refreshing. Imagine my surprise when I start seeing comments that sound more like the 6th grade bully than a mature adult!

[rayschic]

Rayshic?

Are they all nasty? Or just sort of back handed complements. I know a girl of 90 and she is beautiful and she is always getting..."You are way too young to live here". And she generally receives that compliment with her usual grace.

I sort of look on youth and the appearance of youth as a lovely blessing just as the blessing of skill or athletic ability. I kind of have been taught that we don't put those advantages out to others and especially to those who do not have them. It seems obvious in a community of mostly over 55 people that those who are younger are generally more fit and more attractive. Sometimes it is hard to tell. This whole issue just doesn't sit right with me. I have spent the entire morning trying to see the ugliness in my soul and I am sure it is my character weakness somehow.

I would like to hear just what kind of rude comments do older people address toward younger residents? I am aware of the reverse, unfortunately. Sometimes groups of younger prople form to exclude older ones here and I am told that that is because older people and younger people do not have the same interests. I am still trying to understand all this.

I know that I was beginning to disappear in my whole spectrum age community up North. Strangers often would look through me. If this has happened to you, you will know what I mean. I love that here we are all somewhat the same age and have many of the same life experiences. We have launched our families, had interesting work, managed to save and sacrifice enough to quit working and had enough courage to leave the familiar to begin a new life. It just feels nice to be with age peers, give or take 30 or 40 years. I still love young people and have not forgotten how to speak their language but am glad to be with people who have been there and done that in life.

This whole thread has made me feel bad.... And especially when people I think very much of were shocked at my attitude. I most certainly must be wrong.

Well, here's two examples. You can decide.
For several years, we owned two homes. One we lived in, one we rented out.
Comment from neighbor " How can you possibly afford to own two homes in TV. You're too young...did your parents die and leave you their money ?"

Another neighbor asks EVERY time I see him, if I am working. Then he proceeds to tell me that I SHOULD get a job. I'm too young to be retired. I should continue working and I'll have plenty of time to enjoy what TV has to offer....LATER.

There are many more. I blame just the individual and try to just ignore them.
I'm too busy enjoying TV.

[graciegirl]

Well, here's two examples. You can decide.
For several years, we owned two homes. One we lived in, one we rented out.
Comment from neighbor " How can you possibly afford to own two homes in TV. You're too young...did your parents die and leave you their money ?"

Another neighbor asks EVERY time I see him, if I am working. Then he proceeds to tell me that I SHOULD get a job. I'm too young to be retired. I should continue working and I'll have plenty of time to enjoy what TV has to offer....LATER.

There are many more. I blame just the individual and try to just ignore them.
I'm too busy enjoying TV.

I would chalk that up to general bad manners and gross insensitivity.

Just as I do when I hear people call people "old biddies". I think that people of all ages suffer from that at times, consarned meanness.. I include myself. Age has no bearing on being just generally unkind. I am sorry to hear of these remarks. They aren't right on either end of the scale. Bill-n-Brillo who Sweetie and I consider to be close friends are pretty close to young enough to be our children, but they never treat us as if we belonged to an older generation and we don't think of them as our children.

It takes work to be kind and fair from the young and the old-er. The young will be old-er and if they are mean and snippy when they are young, then I guess they turn into "old biddies".

Gracie.
Who hopes she isn't mean and snippy..or an old biddy.

[manaboutown]

I moved down here in my forties and have been here almost 8 years. I still get lots of nasty comments about being too young to be here. I have noticed that it is a lot of the same people. For example, my street used to have monthly parties and at EVERY party, two of the couples would corner me and grill me about why I lived here. At first, I was offended because I felt they were being pretty rude. But, after they kept bringing it up at EVERY party, I just excuse myself to talk to someone else and laugh it off. Some peolple will NOT change their opinion that younger people don't deserve to be here. I have also gotten a few snide remarks at the pool. You just can't change how OTHER people feel, so try to just laugh it off. It's not worth getting upset about. I don't expect to get these comments much longer. LOL

The lady I referenced in a previous post lives in a 55 and over community that REQUIRES one spouse to be over 55, Laguna Woods Village, CA. While not as large as TV, LWV is large enough to boast several clubhouses and pools. She and her husband have now resided there eight years, since she was 53. She is now 61 years of age and still has "movie star" face, hair, teeth and figure thanks to her genetics and her healthy lifestyle. Think Suzanne Somers six years ago at the same age. She suffers the comments, mostly from obese, older, out of shape married women but also from the Casserole Brigade widows and divorcees. To my knowledge no man has ever said anything derogatory to her there. She recently informed me the comments have dwindled because so many people know her there now and she is, after all, aging. Both she and her husband have been very active as homeowner association officers and in other leadership positions. Nonetheless, a couple of weeks ago we were having lunch at the LWV country club and while enjoying our food on the patio I noticed several (with apologies to Gracie) "old biddies" giving her the evil eye. I really think she has simply gotten used to it. Too, because their community is located within a heavily populated urban region most of their activities are outside the gates among the general populace rather than mostly confined within a self-contained community located out in the boondocks. This makes their situation doable. Plus, she happens to have always had many elderly friends and truly enjoys being around much older folks.

In my research on 55 and over communities I have done a lot of reading of works by sociologists, anthropologists and the like. In one, a Seal Beach Leisureworld 70 year old woman is quoted. She said "Who the heck would want to be in here if you're under 55?...I guess its OK as long as they don't start having babies."

[vito711]

I agree, you have every right to live and play here.

[ilovetv]

Ummmm.....why don't the older residents take it as a compliment: that younger people like it here because most residents are NOT "old biddies" or "old farts"?

We have many neighbors and friends who are joyful and young-at-heart in their 70s and 80s. We like being with them because they're well-off and secure in themselves, and not out to impress anybody!

[Dgreenbucks]

It's simple, if you live here and you are way under the set age group of 55; you must be in honor of how good we have made it? People in general do not like it when rules are not abided by, enough said. Most of the people here want it over 55 that's why we are here, period. That said nothing is sacred and somebody it always going to want it their way or no way. Just remember to act your age even if you want to be 21 again.:girlneener:

[perrjojo]

Yes, some make comments about the young and the young make comments about the old. I always reassure my self that those who are old have been young. If lucky those who are young will become old. I have been the obnoxious young one and now I get repaid by listening to young people disparage older folks. My best revenge is knowing that those young will become old too and they will get referred to as old biddies. :-). Gracie, as a woman I know exactly what you mean about becoming "invisible".

[twinklesweep]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

I'm not doubting your experience or that of other younger posters on this thread who have encountered what floridanative17 opened the thread with, but I'd have to say that in all the years I've been here, I have NEVER encountered this attitude. I can't even wrap my head around comments like those described in one of the squares, which are public places and attract many non-residents. How could anyone there know that you necessarily lived here? If I were in this position (and trust me, I'm waaaaaay too old for it to happen; floridanative 17 could easily be my son!), I would focus on not giving these mindless twits free rent in my head, and I would have available a smart-aleck (but polite) response. Don't be surprised, though, if it doesn't shut them up; people like that all too often are uneducable....

[Mark1130]

I was 52 when we first bought here so I kind of know how you're feeling. I'm now 56 and still feel like I'm too young to be here.Most people we're friendly with have anywhere from 5 to 15 years on me so at times it's hard to relate .I guess when these folks look at us it may be difficult for them.JMO

I know the feeling too BoSoxfan.

I am 53 and get the same compliment or treatment about being too young. I feel a lot younger than my age and have difficulty at times relating to others. Part of it I think is that I still have a full time career and still in the real working world. I hope that will end soon.

[amybelles]

I have found this thread both interesting and sad! I am a soon to be homeowner at TV and new to posting here. I will be 55 next month and my husband is just about 64. I wasn't sure I wanted to live in TV before I visited, because I thought everyone would be over 55! I was pleasantly surprised and happy to see people of various ages (and also excited to see children when we went to the family pool-I am a newly retired second grade teacher and will be missing having young kids in my life.) I was also happy to see so many "older folks" active and fit, enjoying life! That's how I want to spend the rest of my life!

I have friends both young and old...it's not age that matters, but people's attitude and love for life! Unfortunately, there is discrimination of all types in this world, and I guess TV is no exception to this! My answer is to seek out the happy people and ignore those who complain or are resentful of others. Whatever you seek and pay attention to is what you will find!

[Lynn222]

I think that if this is your biggest life problem, you are fortunate...I'm just sayin.

[manaboutown]

Well, if a person in his or her fifties is choosing to reside in a 55+ community I believe The Villages is an excellent choice. It is still growing and many of the people moving into TV are in their fifties, especially in the the newer areas. In built out communities the median age tends to rise over time even though newbies do move in as residences become available.

[DAWN MARIE]

I moved here five years ago at 46. Now over 50 I'm used to the comments. I'm a line dancer and quite often people would come up to me in the middle of the floor (even at KB's) and ask how old I was. I've had people tell me that I was the topic of discussion at their table and they were taking bets as to how old I was because they saw me around so much and were wondering how I could get into KB's. I've had guesses from 28-40. A couple of years ago at the pool the guy who checked ID's and who had commented many times about my physical appearance congratulated me on looking so young and staying fit.

At first I felt out of place and questioned myself as to why I moved here. In my circle of friends I'm still the youngest even though I'm past 50 now. While I still get the comments on occasion I don't think I'm getting as many as I was. I guess it means I might finally be growing up? :) Now when I get asked how old I am, I smile and say 49 and holding. Let's see how long that lasts.

[graciegirl]

I moved here five years ago at 46. Now over 50 I'm used to the comments. I'm a line dancer and quite often people would come up to me in the middle of the floor (even at KB's) and ask how old I was. I've had people tell me that I was the topic of discussion at their table and they were taking bets as to how old I was because they saw me around so much and were wondering how I could get into KB's. I've had guesses from 28-40. A couple of years ago at the pool the guy who checked ID's and who had commented many times about my physical appearance congratulated me on looking so young and staying fit.

At first I felt out of place and questioned myself as to why I moved here. In my circle of friends I'm still the youngest even though I'm past 50 now. While I still get the comments on occasion I don't think I'm getting as many as I was. I guess it means I might finally be growing up? :) Now when I get asked how old I am, I smile and say 49 and holding. Let's see how long that lasts.

At first you felt out of place?

Most of us would be feeling quite superior.

That's alright. We each have a turn being head turners. And then it's someone elses turn. Enjoy all good things when they happen.

[DAWN MARIE]

At first you felt out of place?

.

Yes the first year especially was rough for me. I moved here with no friends to hang around with. I don't golf which didn't help matters and I knew nothing about bunco and line dancing although both activities helped me establish frienships later. I felt I retired too early and had nobody to hang around with close to my age.

Now five years later, with a part time job and involved in many activities I am busier than I ever dreamed. Actually I can hardly keep up with myself now.

[mrdarcy]

FloridaNative17, of course you have the same rights and privileges as every other TV resident. I too have noticed some of the same "you're a bit different from the rest of us" sentiment as a young retiree and as a single person even more so. The majority of TV residents are older, married couples.

I just accept it for what it is, a rather benign prejudice as prejudices go. I know I'm different from the majority. I'm also left-handed and have had to deal with a world designed for right-handed people my whole life--the number pad on the key board to the right, the knife in a table-setting on the right (I want it on the left), many products designed backwards for me.

It gets tiresome, to be sure, but how many retirement communities are built especially for young, left-handed, single people? Would I want to live in such a place? No, not really. I like it here in TV and I'm in the minority. Oh, well, c'est la vie.

[DougB]

Well, if a person in his or her fifties is choosing to reside in a 55+ community I believe The Villages is an excellent choice. It is still growing and many of the people moving into TV are in their fifties, especially in the the newer areas. In built out communities the median age tends to rise over time even though newbies do move in as residences become available.

What do base the mean age of 'built out' communities on? I am not aware of any statistics kept on the ages of different villages

[Lahaja]

FN17 - I was glad to stumble on this post because I feel the same way and have been letting it "get to me" by thinking about rude comments way too much. We moved here a couple of months ago, south of 466. My husband has friends here from his previous life, and they have graciously accepted me as their friend also. BUT.....I have had to tolerate constant comments (from the wife) about my age, which were all made in a joking manner of course. One neighbor commented to my husband that there isn't a kiddie pool for me. I'm 50 by the way. Glances from older women at the pool, etc....
It's all the same story. I recently told my husband that instead of being bothered by the questions about my age, I'll just say I'm 80 and have had numerous plastic surgery's. That should shut them up :)


And P.S. to Gracie - Love your sense of humor and I've been reading posts for quite awhile now...you always make me smile

[ilovetv]

FN17 - I was glad to stumble on this post because I feel the same way and have been letting it "get to me" by thinking about rude comments way too much. We moved here a couple of months ago, south of 466. My husband has friends here from his previous life, and they have graciously accepted me as their friend also. BUT.....I have had to tolerate constant comments (from the wife) about my age, which were all made in a joking manner of course. One neighbor commented to my husband that there isn't a kiddie pool for me. I'm 50 by the way. Glances from older women at the pool, etc....
It's all the same story. I recently told my husband that instead of being bothered by the questions about my age, I'll just say I'm 80 and have had numerous plastic surgery's. That should shut them up :)


And P.S. to Gracie - Love your sense of humor and I've been reading posts for quite awhile now...you always make me smile

I'd much rather have some 50-year-olds around than old bags that are jealous and gossipy.

[Bogie Shooter]

Gracie, thank you so much for your appreciative, but off-center comment. As a Retired Infantryman/Ranger (Panama/Desert Storm/Mogadishu), I believe I have every right to be a member of this community as anyone over 55 years of age.

Thank you, thank you for your service. But that is not a requirement to live in TV.
You are not going to change human nature. Many people when seeing someone "younger" their first thought is, Oh no, he should not be here.
As far as being carded...............good we need more of that wether you look young or old.
So lean back and enjoy your early retirement...............and smile every time!

[CFrance]

FN17 - I was glad to stumble on this post because I feel the same way and have been letting it "get to me" by thinking about rude comments way too much. We moved here a couple of months ago, south of 466. My husband has friends here from his previous life, and they have graciously accepted me as their friend also. BUT.....I have had to tolerate constant comments (from the wife) about my age, which were all made in a joking manner of course. One neighbor commented to my husband that there isn't a kiddie pool for me. I'm 50 by the way. Glances from older women at the pool, etc....
It's all the same story. I recently told my husband that instead of being bothered by the questions about my age, I'll just say I'm 80 and have had numerous plastic surgery's. That should shut them up :)


And P.S. to Gracie - Love your sense of humor and I've been reading posts for quite awhile now...you always make me smile

Good idea to have a snappy comeback based in humor. I tan easily and go out of my way to stay in the shade if possible. When I was working in the south during the winters, people at my home in MI would comment on how well I kept my tan. I came up with the response, "I don't bathe very often."

[Bogie Shooter]

This mole hill has become a mountain................................

[perrjojo]

If you are worried about being too young to live in TV, don't worry. You too will become old. It will happen more quickly than you can imagine. Then some one younger will be calling you old biddie or old fart. Believe me...I know cuz it happened to me. :-)

[manaboutown]

What do base the mean age of 'built out' communities on? I am not aware of any statistics kept on the ages of different villages

From what I have read this applies to census data on 55+ communities all over the country. In the various Sun Cities that were completed years ago the older the community the older the median age of the residents. Andrew Blechman wrote about this phenomenon in "Leisureville".

Some of the posts in this thread reminded me of a story I heard a while back. A woman in her mid fifties whose dentist had retired went to see a new dentist. While in the waiting room she noticed him through the reception window. Although he looked more aged than she thought herself to be she realized from his appearance and his name he had to have been a classmate of hers back in high school. When she got into the chair she said to him "You were in school with me." He replied "What class did you teach?"

[DougB]

Leisureville is what, 4 years ago? And this isn't Sun City. Many "young kids" are buying pre-owned north of 466,

[Monkei]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

Thank you for your service and never mind all the jealous gatekeepers and rec center guards. I too retired young, not quite as young as you but way before my 60s. I would be proud to have you as a neighbor.

[Easyrider]

Originally Posted by floridanative17 View Post
I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?


I think that if this is your biggest life problem, you are fortunate...I'm just sayin.

:BigApplause::BigApplause::BigApplause:

Very well said Lynn22.......and it pretty much says it all....A lot of us older folks are also combat war veterans too because of a little thing called the draft and the Vietnam War, not as a career volunteer....I for one served 4 full years with no benefits now, but then also worked another 36 years too paying lots of taxes and SSI to make it to retirement. Not to worry floridanative17 when you get older the ID checks will stop....sounds like no age bias to me, just the opposite that we want to be treated like we are ?? maybe a little special. I for one was already in the service while you were still in diapers...so we do look a bit older since we actually are, be thankful you look your age and try to Have A Happy day!
:BigApplause:

[jbdlfan]

FN17, I want to also thank you for your service and to be quite honest, you've earned the right to live anywhere in this country you please. As a fellow 40 something living here with my spouse, we have not experienced too much of the issues you've had. Our neighbors are very nice this time and seem to enjoy younger faces around. Our children and grandchildren are here almost every week and they love seeing them romp in the yard. I actually have seen more of it here on TOTV than in person. Much of that senior elitist "stuff." Don't let it bother you so much, you have the last laugh. You get to watch your home triple in value and enjoy the amenities for the next 40 years.

[Toscana]

I bought a CYV here two years ago when I was 40. I have experienced the same attitude a few times, but I must say that I do not feel that it is the norm. 95% of the people are all very nice and most times you get back what you give. In any situation you will always have the few that make something difficult. I just smile and keep moving! :crap2:

Semper Fi!

[TheCollierCpl]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

Hi, we definately have no age bias, and thank you for your service. However, we are very curious. We thought at least one person of a "cole" had to be 55 or older. Is that not true?

[graciegirl]

Being young is such a positive, just as being healthy is or being rich or being handsome or beautiful.

One should expect some jealousy, so one should always act gracious in the face of it.

If one is 70 and playing bridge at a table with 90 year olds and comments are made about how young ones hands look one should not take offense, smile, and continue to count the trump not played.

If one is at a pool and one is looking purty good in a bathing suit and one is 62 and not insured, one should not flirt with the husband of an 80 year old who was a lady wrestler.

If one is 60 and gets twenty yards more out of a nine iron, and ones playing partners are in their eighties, one should overlook being called a kid.

One should not whine about people noticing that one is beautiful, young or advantaged. One should not say poor me, I am young and people are making comments about it. This is for second graders who skip to the third grade too.

Miss Manners.

[PaPaLarry]

Being young is such a positive, just as being healthy is or being rich.

One should expect some jealousy, so one should always act gracious in the face of it.

If one is 70 and playing bridge at a table with 90 year olds and comments are made about how nice ones hands look one should not take offense, smile, and continue to count the cards.

If one is 60 and gets twenty yards more out of a nine iron, and ones playing partners are in their eighties, one should overlook being called a kid.

One should not whine about people noticing that one is beautiful, young or advantaged. One should not say poor me, I am young and people are making comments about it. This is for second graders who skip to the third grade too.

Miss Manners.
Gracie, so elegantly said. Hip Hip Hooray

[TOMCAT]

When I went back to work "full time" again, after my child rearing years, I was 43. My boss and co-workers thought I was in my late 30's. It's a compliment, but now that I am older, maybe I do look my age. Don't know anymore. No one has been saying I look younger anymore! Oh well!!!

[nitehawk]

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

So you bought her when you were 42 - if i bought in TV at the age of 42 i would have sought some professional help - at that age i had nothing in common with 60 year old people -- many civil servants do not realize that they have become institutionalized, and find it hard to exist in the outside world. "TV is not the outside world". Dont worry if you live in a barn you will eventually smell like a horse. --- yes there is a age bias- my 31 year old sweetie can verify that

[manaboutown]

Being young is such a positive, just as being healthy is or being rich.

One should expect some jealousy, so one should always act gracious in the face of it.

If one is 70 and playing bridge at a table with 90 year olds and comments are made about how nice ones hands look one should not take offense, smile, and continue to count the cards.

If one is 60 and gets twenty yards more out of a nine iron, and ones playing partners are in their eighties, one should overlook being called a kid.

One should not whine about people noticing that one is beautiful, young or advantaged. One should not say poor me, I am young and people are making comments about it. This is for second graders who skip to the third grade too.

Miss Manners.

Gracie, I believe I can safely say that everyone enjoys and appreciates a sincere compliment. "Gee, you don't look your age!", "You are so smart!", "How do you stay in such terrific shape?", etc.

What folks do not appreciate are mean spirited, snide comments and disparaging remarks. "What are YOU doing here?", "You are too young to be here.", "You don't belong here." and so on.

More frequently received are "the looks" that are the body language/facial expression equivalents of the above noted remarks.

It boils down to this. Are the looks/comments expressions of appreciation and admiration or are they manifestations of envy and resentment, two ugly character defects?

This behavior may be inherent since humans are at some level competitive with one another.