Haunted by Memories

[DianeM]

Tomorrow would mark the 30th anniversary of the first house I bought in Bellerose, NY. I would be able to have a mortgage burning ceremony and be proud of paying off my house. Selling that house was the biggest mistake of my life. That was the last place I was truly happy. I doubt I will ever have peace again until my toes are pointing up.

[graciegirl]

Oh dear. We need to gather a few girls for lunch Diane. Whose in?

[kittygilchrist]

Can we do it at my place? Diane is my neighbor.

[DianeM]

Thanks but this is not the time for me to try to put my best foot forward. I appreciate you trying to help though.

[graciegirl]

Any foot, uncombed and unwashed is fine with me. I have coffee and a caring ear.

[redwitch]

Diane, there are always regrets in our life. Happiness isn't an everyday thing for many of us. The best we can do is look forward and find the little joys. I'm at a stage where contentment is more important to me than happiness. Find your pluses and enjoy them. Go out and find something to make you smile, whether that is an Emma gamboling down the street and wagging all of her back half (works wonders for me) or an ice cream cone or just driving -- whatever works even for a moment. Here's one who has walked in your shoes many times. Many hugs.

Oh, and take up the luncheon offer -- doesn't have to be done this week but it could be something to look forward to. (Heck, if Gracie's cooking, I might even be convinced to join in.)

[lhasalady]

Tomorrow would mark the 30th anniversary of the first house I bought in Bellerose, NY. I would be able to have a mortgage burning ceremony and be proud of paying off my house. Selling that house was the biggest mistake of my life. That was the last place I was truly happy. I doubt I will ever have peace again until my toes are pointing up.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling bad about your former house. I am in the process of preparing my home of 32 years to sell and am also having my ups and downs. Its not easy to make the decision to move. My husband passed away last year and this house is just too big and expensive for me and my furbabies. I have not really been happy here since he died. Its just a house to me now and not a home without him.

I'm looking forward and trying not to hang on to the past. Happy memories of my dh and this house will always be in my heart and will go with me where ever I land.

I am looking forward to visiting friends in TV in two weeks. I'll be looking at some properties there. I've been reading TOTV for some time now and for the most part folks seem to be very pleased with their choice to move there. Just hoping I'm making the right decision. Its frightening.

Sounds like you have some wonderful support from friends there. That's so important.

[LyndaS]

Oh dear. We need to gather a few girls for lunch Diane. Whose in?

Hi Gracie. I'm in...

Diane, Gracie is one of the kindest people that I have ever met. I hope you will give lunch a chance.

Lynda

[Barefoot]

Tomorrow would mark the 30th anniversary of the first house I bought in Bellerose, NY. I would be able to have a mortgage burning ceremony and be proud of paying off my house. Selling that house was the biggest mistake of my life. That was the last place I was truly happy. I doubt I will ever have peace again until my toes are pointing up.

Sorry that you're feeling blue. Sometimes it helps to cocoon for a bit, and watch the world go by. I find ice cream helps. Hope you feel better soon.

[DianeM]

Any foot, uncombed and unwashed is fine with me. I have coffee and a caring ear.

Thank you Gracie. Kitty was just here and did a good job calming me down a bit. Just something to get through I guess.

[DianeM]

Diane, there are always regrets in our life. Happiness isn't an everyday thing for many of us. The best we can do is look forward and find the little joys. I'm at a stage where contentment is more important to me than happiness. Find your pluses and enjoy them. Go out and find something to make you smile, whether that is an Emma gamboling down the street and wagging all of her back half (works wonders for me) or an ice cream cone or just driving -- whatever works even for a moment. Here's one who has walked in your shoes many times. Many hugs.

Oh, and take up the luncheon offer -- doesn't have to be done this week but it could be something to look forward to. (Heck, if Gracie's cooking, I might even be convinced to join in.)

Thank you. I'm trying. That's all I can do right now is try. I'm sure Emma is a sweetie and thankfully I have two tail wagers here that are always happy to just be around me.

[DianeM]

Hi Gracie. I'm in...

Diane, Gracie is one of the kindest people that I have ever met. I hope you will give lunch a chance.

Lynda

Thank you Lynda for the advice. I'm trying.

[DianeM]

Sorry that you're feeling blue. Sometimes it helps to cocoon for a bit, and watch the world go by. I find ice cream helps. Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for understanding. I find a snuggle with a puppy helps and maybe ice cream or chocolate. Hmmm chocolate - maybe that would be a great idea right now.

[jblum315]

Dear Diane, I know just how you feel. I too would have been happy to stay in my big house up north with grandchildren nearby. But how could I do it? Just the taxes the last year I was there totaled $22K. Impossible.

[DianeM]

Dear Diane, I know just how you feel. I too would have been happy to stay in my big house up north with grandchildren nearby. But how could I do it? Just the taxes the last year I was there totaled $22K. Impossible.

My taxes were up to 12K so I get what you say. It's called between a rock and a hard place.

[Villageswimmer]

Hi Diane - My heart goes out to you. You're in my prayers. We're in the midst of some big changes, too, and although I do fine all day, I awake at night and worry. Everything always works for good ultimately. We know this but sometimes it's hard to live it.

[eweissenbach]

Diane you have gotten several wonderful responses from some of TV's finest people. That alone should give you a brighter perspective. It is easy to say, but you simply cannot allow yourself to live with regrets, there is such an exciting future ahead for you. Let your TOTV support group wrap their arms around you.

[BarryRX]

I am so very sorry that you're feeling blue. Depression can be such an overwhelming feeling. Please discuss this with your doctor. Oftentimes, our brain chemistry can get a little out of whack and there are many options to help. I am sending you hugs and good wishes!

[angiefox10]

My heart breaks for you..... It's hard leaving all your friends and what you know and coming here where you really don't know anyone.

It took me a year to finally feel like it all clicked. I met a lot of people and made a lot of "friends".... but it took a year to feel like I REALLY made friends! You will miss the people, you left behind, people you could say anything to... laugh with and cry with. You will meet those people again. It just takes time.

I know this doesn't do any good now.... Trust me, it will all come together. You will look back on this time and laugh!

[manaboutown]

Major relocations are tough! Having moved a family a few times I have found it takes at least a year to feel at home in a new community and to develop friendships there. Please give it time.

One of the most appealing aspects of TV is that residents do reach out to newcomers, having been there themselves. Plus, TV does have its own versions of angels like Gracie and Kitty.

[gomoho]

Diane - think about if you were still in the house in NY how would your life be? Probably not what you remember, but that is for you to decide. My 94 year old mother still says "the past is a thief, it does nothing more than rob you of your future".

Gracie - I'm in.

[DianeM]

Hi Diane - My heart goes out to you. You're in my prayers. We're in the midst of some big changes, too, and although I do fine all day, I awake at night and worry. Everything always works for good ultimately. We know this but sometimes it's hard to live it.

Thank you for reminding me that lots of other people are in pain as well. My thoughts go to you for help with your problems.

[DianeM]

Diane you have gotten several wonderful responses from some of TV's finest people. That alone should give you a brighter perspective. It is easy to say, but you simply cannot allow yourself to live with regrets, there is such an exciting future ahead for you. Let your TOTV support group wrap their arms around you.

Thank you. Your thoughts made me fill up a bit. Thank you for reminding me of my blessings.

[In awe of TV]

I'm sorry Diane for what you are feeling or not feeling. There are great people here on this site that do care and are an arms length away. You are brave for reaching out, it's an excellent quality to have. Take deep breaths, hang in there, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Take up the lunch offer. You are blessed and you are worthy of happiness.

[Tom Hannon]

Hang in there Diane. My wife feels the same way as you which is why she won't let go of the Long Island house. It take some people longer to adjust. Give it a chance. And if Gracie wishes to have that dinner in mid October , i expect an invitation.

[DianeM]

I am so very sorry that you're feeling blue. Depression can be such an overwhelming feeling. Please discuss this with your doctor. Oftentimes, our brain chemistry can get a little out of whack and there are many options to help. I am sending you hugs and good wishes!

Thank you for the hugs and good thoughts. Today just overwhelmed me with melancholy. Tomorrow is another day and one to embrace and start again.

[In awe of TV]

Diane - think about if you were still in the house in NY how would your life be? Probably not what you remember, but that is for you to decide. My 94 year old mother still says "the past is a thief, it does nothing more than rob you of your future".

Gracie - I'm in.

gomoho - Your mom is very wise.

[DianeM]

[QUOTE=angiefox10;738196]My heart breaks for you..... It's hard leaving all your friends and what you know and coming here where you really don't know anyone.

It took me a year to finally feel like it all clicked. I met a lot of people and made a lot of "friends".... but it took a year to feel like I REALLY made friends! You will miss the people, you left behind, people you could say anything to... laugh with and cry with. You will meet those people again. It just takes time.


I know this doesn't do any good now.... Trust me, it will all come together. You will look back on this time and laugh![/QUOT

You nailed it on the head. It's hard starting all over again. Just overwhelmed today.

[DianeM]

Major relocations are tough! Having moved a family a few times I have found it takes at least a year to feel at home in a new community and to develop friendships there. Please give it time.

One of the most appealing aspects of TV is that residents do reach out to newcomers, having been there themselves. Plus, TV does have its own versions of angels like Gracie and Kitty.


I'll get my act together. Just deep in the dumpster today and feeling sorry for myself. This too shall pass.

[DianeM]

[QUOTE=angiefox10;738196]My heart breaks for you..... It's hard leaving all your friends and what you know and coming here where you really don't know anyone.

It took me a year to finally feel like it all clicked. I met a lot of people and made a lot of "friends".... but it took a year to feel like I REALLY made friends! You will miss the people, you left behind, people you could say anything to... laugh with and cry with. You will meet those people again. It just takes time.

I know this doesn't do any good now.... Trust me, it will all come together. You will look back on this time and laugh![/QUOT

Just a bad day I guess. I miss what was and not yet used to what is. Tomorrow is another day.

[DianeM]

I'm sorry Diane for what you are feeling or not feeling. There are great people here on this site that do care and are an arms length away. You are brave for reaching out, it's an excellent quality to have. Take deep breaths, hang in there, one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Take up the lunch offer. You are blessed and you are worthy of happiness.

I'm trying. Just a truly awful day. This will get better.

[pooh]

Hi Diane,

Some days are just like that, we feel so down, remember what was and can't really think about the good yet to come.

Hang in there, reach out to all of your friends here on TOTV, we're all one big "family" and helping family and friends is what we will do willingly and lovingly.
Each day brings something that will put a smile on your face and new, sweet memories in your heart. You'll notice more and more each day. Write them down, enjoy them, share them with us. Many write of things that tickle their soul since moving here, we'd love to hear what did that for you. Someday I'll tell you about Bucky, the squirrel that lives somewhere in my yard....;)

[Lbmb24101]

Diane

I will be thinking and praying for you! I also understand what you are going thru, leaving a happy house and 2. adjusting to TV Not easy ( and in my case, 3. Dealing w my husband's health problems...)
But,
Reading this thread, though, has lifted me up, for your sake, my sake and anyone else feeling down.
All the persons have given great wise advse which i will apply to me as well
Diane, may God Bless you! You will be fine.


TRULY WONDERFUL PEOPLE!

[mainlander]

Diane. What I am reading is real show of kindness and affection from many who truly wish you the best,, you are lucky in that way,, to have so many wonderful people to care for you, to watch out for you and to be your friend. There is an old saying that when life changes, change everything. These new friends are part of that change ..... and they are good people Diane. Best to you.
"At the end of the storm, there's a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a dove, walk on, walk on and you'll never walk alone....".

[CFrance]

Diane,

I can't say anything more or better than what others have said already. I just ran across this thread, and I am feeling very sorry for you and hope things will look up. Meanwhile, you have a great neighbor in Kitty--that's a strong shoulder to lean on. And you won't be alone as long as you are still with us on TOTV.

You're in my prayers for a return to peace and happiness. No need to respond, as it must be hard to answer all the well-wishers when having a sad day.

[DianeM]

Hi Diane,

Some days are just like that, we feel so down, remember what was and can't really think about the good yet to come.

Hang in there, reach out to all of your friends here on TOTV, we're all one big "family" and helping family and friends is what we will do willingly and lovingly.
Each day brings something that will put a smile on your face and new, sweet memories in your heart. You'll notice more and more each day. Write them down, enjoy them, share them with us. Many write of things that tickle their soul since moving here, we'd love to hear what did that for you. Someday I'll tell you about Bucky, the squirrel that lives somewhere in my yard....;)

Thank you for your kind thoughts. Was just a truly awful day. Tomorrow will be better.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

I am so happy everyone is here for you and I am sorry you are feeling sad. All these words of comfort aren't always enough when we feel down, but my mom used to say, "What a difference a day makes" and sometimes a day can take a day or longer depending on what you are waiting for. I have always found if I hang in there and maybe keep a journal I can go back and see that every worry will pass. That's just me , but I'm very much like a dog in that I live in the moment and if I'm having a bad time I can't remember the feelings that I've had good times before. It helps me to go back and see that it passes. Maybe it would help you also. Sort of like counting your blessings on paper. I'm not sure if it would help, but in the long run it gives me perspective and I need that sometimes. I hope what your going through passes quickly. Hug your pups and lean on your friends. They sound like wonderful support for you.

[DianeM]

Diane

I will be thinking and praying for you! I also understand what you are going thru, leaving a happy house and 2. adjusting to TV Not easy ( and in my case, 3. Dealing w my husband's health problems...)
But,
Reading this thread, though, has lifted me up, for your sake, my sake and anyone else feeling down.
All the persons have given great wise advse which i will apply to me as well
Diane, may God Bless you! You will be fine.


TRULY WONDERFUL PEOPLE!

Truly amazing people reached out today to help. I am sorry for your problems and thankful that you took the time to reach out.

[DianeM]

Diane. What I am reading is real show of kindness and affection from many who truly wish you the best,, you are lucky in that way,, to have so many wonderful people to care for you, to watch out for you and to be your friend. There is an old saying that when life changes, change everything. These new friends are part of that change ..... and they are good people Diane. Best to you.
"At the end of the storm, there's a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a dove, walk on, walk on and you'll never walk alone....".

I'm amazed at the kindness of people today and I thank you for reaching out as well.

[DianeM]

I am so happy everyone is here for you and I am sorry you are feeling sad. All these words of comfort aren't always enough when we feel down, but my mom used to say, "What a difference a day makes" and sometimes a day can take a day or longer depending on what you are waiting for. I have always found if I hang in there and maybe keep a journal I can go back and see that every worry will pass. That's just me , but I'm very much like a dog in that I live in the moment and if I'm having a bad time I can't remember the feelings that I've had good times before. It helps me to go back and see that it passes. Maybe it would help you also. Sort of like counting your blessings on paper. I'm not sure if it would help, but in the long run it gives me perspective and I need that sometimes. I hope what your going through passes quickly. Hug your pups and lean on your friends. They sound like wonderful support for you.

Tomorrow or the next day will be better. Was just a truly awful case of a pity party for myself today. This too shall pass. I thank you.

[DianeM]

Diane,

I can't say anything more or better than what others have said already. I just ran across this thread, and I am feeling very sorry for you and hope things will look up. Meanwhile, you have a great neighbor in Kitty--that's a strong shoulder to lean on. And you won't be alone as long as you are still with us on TOTV.

You're in my prayers for a return to peace and happiness. No need to respond, as it must be hard to answer all the well-wishers when having a sad day.

I'm grateful that you took the time. Thank you. I'm amazedby people today.

[graciegirl]

I'll get my act together. Just deep in the dumpster today and feeling sorry for myself. This too shall pass.


It isn't a lack of character or strength to be sad or overwhelmed. It happens to a lot of us when we make a major move and change in our lives, sometimes it happens during the time and sometimes a little later. Two people that I know well and love are going through this right now. It is a good idea to talk to a doctor too, as Barry said. Our brain chemistry can change and some medication can help some of us through. Since Kitty is very close to you geographically, I will save my invitation for four or five weeks when you are feeling like meeting a group of strangers to you and hope that the girls who have said they would like to gather will come then.

I have a group of women who I know who are always balm to my soul, warm, genuine and very sensitive and caring. I will issue this invitatation again next month sometime and we will see if you would like to join us. The invitation will be to any TOTV folks who would like to come for lunch.

Angie Fox is right, not all people are a perfect fit for others. It takes a while to find people who mesh with you.

In the meantime, I will be thinking of you, sending prayers and good wishes and my coffee pot is always on for a pop in.

This too will pass, I feel it clear down to my toes. You are never alone here, remember that. You are near as a PM to a bunch of kind and funny and caring people who know how to hug and to listen.

[kittygilchrist]

Good Morning, Diane. I hope today you find comfort remembering the good times with your mother and the victory of your first mortgage. As so many others have offered caring thoughts, know that you are not alone here.

Moving is an upheaval, more difficult alone, and I can't imagine doing it 3 times in a short span as you have. I feel like a bedraggled survivor after doing it once so I'm thinking you are a very strong, determined person on a quest for a good life.

Be well, my friend.
Kitty
ps I've heard that if you lie in the floor and let puppies lick your face you get more good brain chemicals than germs.:loco:

[kittygilchrist]

duplicate of the above...

[Happinow]

Gosh Diane. I just came across the thread as well and while I didn't read all posts and responses, I still got the jest of it. I'm really sorry you aren't comfortable in your surroundings. Selling a place that you have lived in for so many years is a difficult thing to do. You are leaving behind many memories. I think now that you have transitioned to your new home the best thing to do is find people and things or activities that make you happy and surround yourself with them. I have learned that there are many people both on and off this forum that are just wonderful and probably many in your same shoes. And we all know how many activities you can do here. What did you like to do in your other home where you resided? Did you knit, paint, crochet, bowl, swim? Find that activity and to it here. It will give you an opportunity to meet new friends and do what you like to do. Or, try something different here and start making new memories. It sounds like you already have a lot of friends that you may not even know you had based on the responses on here. Please take advantage of Gracie's offer to go to her house or Kitty's offer to go to hers. I would guess they have broad shoulders and an open ear if you choose to talk to them. Please be willing to open your heart and self to the wonderful community we have here and all that it has to offer. Time heals all wounds.....please give it time.

[rubicon]

The best philosophical perspective I encountered came from the movie Rangoon wherein an American and Burmanese doctor exchanged views.

The American stated she was taught that if she worked hard and did it all right then she would be rewarded. Let me digress she was in Burma following the murder of her husband and children. This was a true story and the woman was a doctor . her sister suggested she get away and so they went to Burma. Burma erupted and she got caught up in the civil war. The burmanese man was a rebel and intellect who had befriender her. She told him of her tragedy wherein he essentially explained that in their cultural they viewed life as all sad and when life visited upon you a moment of happiness that you savor every bit of it.

I believe he is correct and sadness visits us all often and in one way or antoher and we must learn to endure and in those few glimpses of happiness endear them to our hearts and minds.

[senior citizen]

Thank you for the hugs and good thoughts. Today just overwhelmed me with melancholy. Tomorrow is another day and one to embrace and start again.


Now, that is the right attitude as you can clearly see how much support you are receiving in your new chosen location.

I know from experience in trying to cheer up folks who had either lost a spouse, lost a parent or lost a child......that truly there are NO WORDS that can comfort them when they are in the midst of the despair you seem to be in......or else you would not publically announce it. It's a cry for help.

The generous spirited folks in TV have reciprocated with offers of help.
You can graciously accept it........or else if you need more time to "cocoon" then do that. Nothing wrong with that at all.

When our dear friend and next door neighbor passed at age 50, leaving two school aged children (college and high school) her husband was BEYOND GRIEF........he would come over to our home every single day and cry on my couch. Now, usually, I have just the right words to comfort people and I am a good listener.........but nothing I said would comfort him. I realized it was his own guilt.....at things he might have done better..........but the moral to this story is that eventually he joined a grief group at our hospital.........then he joined a widower/widows grief group and believe it or not, began dating. He eventually met his present wife and alls well that ends well.

It was NOT easy for him but he got through it and came out o.k.
Just want you to know that hopefully things should get brighter eventually.
If not, then perhaps you should seek professional help as we are all amateurs here just speaking from personal experience.

Some people do well to let it all hang out.
Others do better "coping" alone.
It all depends on your particular makeup....and how private a person you are.

Best wishes for happier moments. Just take each day at a time.

One thing that would definitely uplift you, although at first you might not think so..........VOLUNTEER AT A LOCAL NURSING HOME. Those people are starved for visitors. We still remember all the happy greetings we would get from the oldtimers when we would visit my mom, especially when she was at the end of her journey and could not communicate with us anymore...........I'd chat with others who still could speak; we'd wheel them out to the patio to get fresh air and hear the birds chirping, smell the flowers, etc...........it takes you away from your own sadness. It brings cheer to those who truly need it. The ones confined in nursing homes and perhaps in a wheelchair or bedridden. Try it. It will elevate your mood and make others happy as well.

[steve0010]

Diane you are stronger than you think!
i am also a upstate New Yorker that is also making a change with a business in new york after 36 years.
let me reassure you you made the right decision.
Upstate new York is failing and will not survive the next 10 years.
I left a 12k tax base as well winter weather, two of everything to go through the seasons.
Trust me that upstate new york will get worse including the infrastructure.
Look forward and only back for the good memory's, happiness is a state of mind!
Good luck TV is a beautiful place you are just out of your familiar surrounding which will change soon.
Good luck dear and pick up your bootstraps and look forward to your new life and friends at the villages, it looks from the post you have a nice support group.

[ssmith]

I have thought of you today Diane and hope you are a bit better.

I have moved often (in the distant past) and believe that you have to grieve the loss of your former life to embrace the new. There will be good and bad with the new life. The old life may seem to have been perfect but it had good and bad in it as well.

I have found that it does take at least 1 year for a place to feel more like home with friends and places becoming familiar.

Glad you have been honest....you never know who else this may help as well.

[Cantwaittoarrive]

Tomorrow would mark the 30th anniversary of the first house I bought in Bellerose, NY. I would be able to have a mortgage burning ceremony and be proud of paying off my house. Selling that house was the biggest mistake of my life. That was the last place I was truly happy. I doubt I will ever have peace again until my toes are pointing up.

That's sad I will pray for you. You should enjoy every second of life the good, the bad and the worse. Life on earth is short!

[Yung Dum]

I'm seeing a lot of real nice people here. :BigApplause:

[KeepingItReal]

:pray: For You

[graciegirl]

Now, that is the right attitude as you can clearly see how much support you are receiving in your new chosen location.

I know from experience in trying to cheer up folks who had either lost a spouse, lost a parent or lost a child......that truly there are NO WORDS that can comfort them when they are in the midst of the despair you seem to be in......or else you would not publically announce it. It's a cry for help.

The generous spirited folks in TV have reciprocated with offers of help.
You can graciously accept it........or else if you need more time to "cocoon" then do that. Nothing wrong with that at all.

When our dear friend and next door neighbor passed at age 50, leaving two school aged children (college and high school) her husband was BEYOND GRIEF........he would come over to our home every single day and cry on my couch. Now, usually, I have just the right words to comfort people and I am a good listener.........but nothing I said would comfort him. I realized it was his own guilt.....at things he might have done better..........but the moral to this story is that eventually he joined a grief group at our hospital.........then he joined a widower/widows grief group and believe it or not, began dating. He eventually met his present wife and alls well that ends well.

It was NOT easy for him but he got through it and came out o.k.
Just want you to know that hopefully things should get brighter eventually.
If not, then perhaps you should seek professional help as we are all amateurs here just speaking from personal experience.

Some people do well to let it all hang out.
Others do better "coping" alone.
It all depends on your particular makeup....and how private a person you are.

Best wishes for happier moments. Just take each day at a time.

One thing that would definitely uplift you, although at first you might not think so..........VOLUNTEER AT A LOCAL NURSING HOME. Those people are starved for visitors. We still remember all the happy greetings we would get from the oldtimers when we would visit my mom, especially when she was at the end of her journey and could not communicate with us anymore...........I'd chat with others who still could speak; we'd wheel them out to the patio to get fresh air and hear the birds chirping, smell the flowers, etc...........it takes you away from your own sadness. It brings cheer to those who truly need it. The ones confined in nursing homes and perhaps in a wheelchair or bedridden. Try it. It will elevate your mood and make others happy as well.

I learned this just recently. We try to be a friend and never are sure just how. Some people do need to cocoon and take in their drawbridge.

Every person is different.

[DianeM]

I've just reread these postings and a familiar thread is the need to take time to give oneself up to this locale. I realize that more time is needed before I consider going back. For now it's one day at a time and that's fine. The mood has lifted and today is new. Thanks to you all for your kindness and support.

[Parker]

Depression is a terrible thing, debilitating thing. Sometimes one needs help climbing out of it. You are understandably focused on a loved home, but I doubt that is the whole story. Might I gently suggest you seek out a professional to talk to? My heart goes out to you.

[DianeM]

Thank you but that's not for me. I do not wish to be medicated through life. I do not wish to take pills to "even out life ". I believe that on the days one is sad that it's okay to be sad. Feeling and emotions are part of life.

[Barefoot]

The mood has lifted and today is new.


Thank you but that's not for me. I do not wish to be medicated through life. I do not wish to take pills to "even out life ". I believe that on the days one is sad that it's okay to be sad. Feeling and emotions are part of life.

Diane, I'm so happy that you're feeling better today. I also believe it's OK to be occasionally sad, as long as it doesn't turn into an overwhelming depression. I'm one of the ones that needs to cocoon and spend time with nature and animals to restore my equilibrium. Sending a virtual hug!

[notlongnow]

DianeM,

Truely an incredible thread full of very incredible people.

I hope you get a chance to meet most of these people so you can feel as blessed as you are.

EB

[DianeM]

Diane, I'm so happy that you're feeling better today. I also believe it's OK to be occasionally sad, as long as it doesn't turn into an overwhelming depression. I'm one of the ones that needs to cocoon and spend time with nature and animals to restore my equilibrium. Sending a virtual hug!

Thank you. I too feel that it's okay to hermit with the remote and the pups and a good book sometimes. Life doesn't have to constantly be go go go. It's okay to be still within oneself.

[DianeM]

DianeM,

Truely an incredible thread full of very incredible people.

I hope you get a chance to meet most of these people so you can feel as blessed as you are.

EB

I find it truly amazing the number of people who took the time to respond to this thread. Who knew that people were so kind.

[SMills]

I read your post today, a little late, but nevertheless it caught my eye. I too am having some of the same feelings you experienced about moving. I have been in my home for 40 years and at the end of this year I will retire, start downsizing in hopes of moving to TV the first part of next year. Leaving my home will be a big challenge and change for me as well and I felt your pain while I read your posts. We bought our home back in 1973, raised our son, saw his marriage and the arrival of our granddaughters, a good number of family pets both cats, dogs and I believe there was even a frog in their at some point. Seven years ago, my husband died in that house, in the livingroom with me bye his side. I've been alone in that house for the past seven years with all the memories and the "what if's" if things had been different. Now, God has blessed me with the gift of a wonderful man and the promise of a new life. I'm trying very hard to take advantage of that gift and the promise of happiness leaving my old life behind, not an easy task as I am sure you well know. Today has been a tough day for me, memories of my late husband and our life together keep coming into my mind, I've had tears more than once today, crazy how those days just pop up out of the blue. I say all this in hopes that you can identify with someone who is walking in your shoes, so that you will know that you are not alone with the memories, but also the opportunity for a wonderful new life, full of hope and promise. Here's hoping to meet you at some point in TV, share a glass of wine and share some of our memories . . . God Bless!

[Jejuca]

Diane - I'm glad you are feeling better. We are returning to TV tomorrow. Let's get together and talk!

[DianeM]

I read your post today, a little late, but nevertheless it caught my eye. I too am having some of the same feelings you experienced about moving. I have been in my home for 40 years and at the end of this year I will retire, start downsizing in hopes of moving to TV the first part of next year. Leaving my home will be a big challenge and change for me as well and I felt your pain while I read your posts. We bought our home back in 1973, raised our son, saw his marriage and the arrival of our granddaughters, a good number of family pets both cats, dogs and I believe there was even a frog in their at some point. Seven years ago, my husband died in that house, in the livingroom with me bye his side. I've been alone in that house for the past seven years with all the memories and the "what if's" if things had been different. Now, God has blessed me with the gift of a wonderful man and the promise of a new life. I'm trying very hard to take advantage of that gift and the promise of happiness leaving my old life behind, not an easy task as I am sure you well know. Today has been a tough day for me, memories of my late husband and our life together keep coming into my mind, I've had tears more than once today, crazy how those days just pop up out of the blue. I say all this in hopes that you can identify with someone who is walking in your shoes, so that you will know that you are not alone with the memories, but also the opportunity for a wonderful new life, full of hope and promise. Here's hoping to meet you at some point in TV, share a glass of wine and share some of our memories . . . God Bless!

I'm so sorry that you're having a tough day - they do hit now and then. I do COMPLETELY understand that some days are hard. If you feel like crying - that's okay - it's good for the soul to let it go. Many folks don't understand that it's a part of life to be sad and haunted at times. Its just the way that life is meant to be lived. If we were supposed to be numb all the time, we could just as well be androids. Good for you that you have the opportunity to create a new life. I am trying to do the exact same thing. Whether this will all work remains to be seen but life is meant to be about adventures. If the path is wrong, we can always change directions.

I'm a red wine person - LOL. All the best !!!!

[DougB]

Don't dwell in the past and don't fear the future. Live in the now. There is a reason it is called the present. It is a gift.

[kittygilchrist]

Well said, Doug, I was just checking up on you. You did good.

[DianeM]

Diane - I'm glad you are feeling better. We are returning to TV tomorrow. Let's get together and talk!

Sounds like a plan to me. See you soon.

[DianeM]

Don't dwell in the past and don't fear the future. Live in the now. There is a reason it is called the present. It is a gift.

I agree with you but once in a while the past sneaks back up and bites you on the bottom and yells "remember me".

[ronsroni]

tomorrow would mark the 30th anniversary of the first house i bought in bellerose, ny. I would be able to have a mortgage burning ceremony and be proud of paying off my house. Selling that house was the biggest mistake of my life. That was the last place i was truly happy. I doubt i will ever have peace again until my toes are pointing up.

did you know the yellen's???

[sharonga]

So glad something worked Diane. I was insane when we were selling our house in Staten Island. Long story. We have been here one year and 2 months. No ones story is the same but it helps to find friends that REALLY care. Concentrate on the ones that really care, they will help you. Oh and when you are ready for the girls lunch, please include me, I could use it too.

[DianeM]

did you know the yellen's???

'Fraid not. Sorry.

[DianeM]

So glad something worked Diane. I was insane when we were selling our house in Staten Island. Long story. We have been here one year and 2 months. No ones story is the same but it helps to find friends that REALLY care. Concentrate on the ones that really care, they will help you. Oh and when you are ready for the girls lunch, please include me, I could use it too.

Sounds like a plan. Many seem to be drifting too.

[DianeM]

did you know the yellen's???

Did you know the Cunningham's in Williston Park?

[Parker]

Thank you but that's not for me. I do not wish to be medicated through life. I do not wish to take pills to "even out life ". I believe that on the days one is sad that it's okay to be sad. Feeling and emotions are part of life.

I fear my post may have offended you. To clarify, I agree that far too many people medicate their lives to 'even it out', and was not suggesting that route for you. My point was that IF someone finds themselves in a true depression, not just a blue mood, discussing it with a counselor can really help to clarify and redirect ones thoughts. A close family member of mine, years ago suffered a real depression, saw a psychologist for a short time without medication, and has never had a return of the depression.

If this does not apply to you, I'm very glad.

[patfla06]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad.
Moving is very hard. You moved from New York and that's a
BIG move. You moved from the familiar to a very new and
different place.
Allow yourself the time for your feelings and know there
are better days ahead.
Just look at the outpouring of concern here.
Just know we have all been there and all have those days.
Hope each day gets easier.

[DianeM]

I fear my post may have offended you. To clarify, I agree that far too many people medicate their lives to 'even it out', and was not suggesting that route for you. My point was that IF someone finds themselves in a true depression, not just a blue mood, discussing it with a counselor can really help to clarify and redirect ones thoughts. A close family member of mine, years ago suffered a real depression, saw a psychologist for a short time without medication, and has never had a return of the depression.

If this does not apply to you, I'm very glad.

Not to worry. I'm good and was not offended. I think I had just read too many posts suggesting that drugs were the answer to a deeply blue mood. It happens and the sun comes up the next day and all's right with the world again.

[DianeM]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad.
Moving is very hard. You moved from New York and that's a
BIG move. You moved from the familiar to a very new and
different place.
Allow yourself the time for your feelings and know there
are better days ahead.
Just look at the outpouring of concern here.
Just know we have all been there and all have those days.
Hope each day gets easier.

I'm good. Just had a truly blue day with memories and looking for something familiar where nothing is familiar. But thankfully, the sun comes up and life goes on.

[DougB]

did you know the yellen's???

Did you know the Cunningham's in Williston Park?

Y'all are from New York? Do you know Tony?

[DianeM]

Y'all are from New York? Do you know Tony?

Several in fact. LOL.

[DougB]

Nice to see you laugh, Diane. It's gonna be a great day!

[jannd228]

Diane

I am sorry you feel this way today. Look at all the wonderful responses you got! I agree the "happy pills" do not fix anything. I just spent the day with my BFF Diane of 64 years, just shopping and laughing. It gets better, it becomes the norm.

I am coming in late October, just hang in there.

Life changes, and it is always for the better

Jann D

[DianeM]

Thank you all. I'm fine and back to normal again. Well......as normal as I get anyway. LOL.

[DianeM]

Diane

I am sorry you feel this way today. Look at all the wonderful responses you got! I agree the "happy pills" do not fix anything. I just spent the day with my BFF Diane of 64 years, just shopping and laughing. It gets better, it becomes the norm.

I am coming in late October, just hang in there.

Life changes, and it is always for the better

Jann D

Life goes on and we weather the storms.

[kittygilchrist]

wow, diane. you've got an amazing bounce going on there! way to go.

[SMills]

I thought I would check on you and see how your weekend went. I bounced back, had a good weekend, back at work and taking time to see what is going on in TV. It looks, from reading this thread, that you have made quite a few new friends and I hope that you are feeling much better. Be well, just dropping a note to say Hi and wish you well. SMills

[DianeM]

wow, diane. you've got an amazing bounce going on there! way to go.

I've taken on the attitude of "go with the flow". When sad hits - I go with it. When sad is done - I move on. I'm thinking about new adventures and things to do.

[DianeM]

I thought I would check on you and see how your weekend went. I bounced back, had a good weekend, back at work and taking time to see what is going on in TV. It looks, from reading this thread, that you have made quite a few new friends and I hope that you are feeling much better. Be well, just dropping a note to say Hi and wish you well. SMills

Thank you. I'm glad you're better too. I did a few things over the weekend and today ran chores in Ocala. Life goes on.

[Dreamer61]

Gosh, the support here is super! I too am having a hard time adjusting to the move, neighbors and missing home and my friends there. And I've been sick all day so that's not helping. Can't wait to make friends here!

[DianeM]

Gosh, the support here is super! I too am having a hard time adjusting to the move, neighbors and missing home and my friends there. And I've been sick all day so that's not helping. Can't wait to make friends here!

Trust me when I say that I understand. The adjustment is a b****. I desperately miss what was but am trying not to dwell. Talk to your old friends. They love you and will listen. Your Villages life will happen. Get some rest and feel better. Tomorrow is another day.

[mainlander]

Good for you Diane.

[CFrance]

Gosh, the support here is super! I too am having a hard time adjusting to the move, neighbors and missing home and my friends there. And I've been sick all day so that's not helping. Can't wait to make friends here!

Dreamer, I hope you are planning to go to Gracie's lunch. That would be a great way to meet people and commiserate with people missing home and friends. And Gracie is friendly, loving, caring. I'm sorry I can't be there to meet all the people. Next time!

We spent six weeks from mid May to early July in MI packing up our condo. It was 60 and raining the whole time, and I was so anxious to get back down here to the warmth. Three days after we arrived I came down with a horrible cold that lasted for two weeks. I was thinking, What's wrong with this picture? It's 90 degrees and I get a cold!

I think stress brings these little illnesses on. I hope whatever it is you have is minor, and that you recover soon.

[DianeM]

Good for you Diane.

Thank you. I'm working at it.

[DaleMN]

Group hug.

[BarryRX]

I've been thinking about you and came back to check to see how you're doing. Glad to see you're feeling better. You sound like a strong and resilient person!

[DianeM]

I've been thinking about you and came back to check to see how you're doing. Glad to see you're feeling better. You sound like a strong and resilient person!

I try to be both. Thanks for thinking of me.

[Dreamer61]

Gracie's lunch? Is this the one at Crispers?

[kittygilchrist]

Gracie's lunch? Is this the one at Crispers?
no, she's hosting at home Oct 4..I'll bump her thread for you.

no I won't. I can't find it.

[Dreamer61]

Oh, I'd love to come. Will you pm it too me when you find it. Thanks so much!!