Moving and second guessing

[Bonnevie]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....

[Lbmb24101]

I went thru similar feelings, still do.
If we moved here, it is because the good things outweight the good things back home.

Also remember that
No place is perfect.

All will work out at the end.

[Yorio]

Keep at it. You are not alone. We just went through a few months ago. Psychologically anxiety is overwhelming but it too will pass. It's tough doing it alone. I had my partner to blame everything that didn't go right and she me. While I was going through the anxiety I thought I just couldn't go on. Many of the postings on TOTV helped me as I was posting the ordeal I was going through in near real time. I am not on TOTV every day but I'll check to see how you are doing but post your concerns here. We closed on August 16th, took the Autotrain the following day. It is so weird to have to start to make the move even if we haven't closed on the deal but we had to do it. My feeling right now? Am so relieved and relaxed and we are not bickering anymore and enjoying The Villages lifestyle. It is an exhilarating feeling and you will feel it too once you've done it. Keep on chugging away like the Little Engine that could. Good luck. I am cheering for you.

[DianeM]

If your little voice is telling you "what the heck am I doing", perhaps you should re-think your move.

[vorage]

Bonnevie,
Is there risk in your move? Of course. There are no sure things in life. But a certain amount of nostalgia and buyers remorse at this point is normal. We're getting ready to move and going through the same thing....and we're just moving from one part of The Villages to another! There will be a lot of adjustments, but most won't be worse or better - just different. Still, you know in your heart that this is what you've been working to make happen, and it will be thrilling to spend your first night in your new CYV. Keep your eyes on the prize and keep your sense of humor. You have a wonderful new adventure ahead of you.

[LuvlyJubly]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....


You are not alone, there are plenty of people feeling the way that you do. My husband and I are 2 of those people. As we are moving from the UK to TV we often think about all the things that you do, the "right" & "wrong", "should I", "shouldn't I" but we have come to conclusion if we do not follow our dreams and take all the chances "good" or "bad" that come with it we are not being honest with ourselves nor giving it a real chance and then left to wonder what may have been. We too have sorted, discarded, and yet to have packed (must wait on contract exchange) and we think what the heck are we doing?! At the end of the day you must follow your heart and your dreams and whatever will be will be. At least that is what we plan to do anyway........Good luck and all the best to you x

[jnieman]

We were anxious with all of the downsizing and trying to sell the house and waiting for the offers to come and finally settled on a price less than we wanted, but something we could live with. Once you have closed on the house you will be less stressed. Our stress started to lift on the drive down here. Once you get here more stress will lift when you have your things in your house and your bedroom setup and your bed made. I know it sounds wierd but it was true for us. Once you get here you don't have to have everything put away at once. After you have the necessities in place take your time. Spend some time at the pool every day you will meet others and it is so relaxing.

[Uptown Girl]

I think that part of what you are feeling is physical, mental and emotional fatigue. Who wouldn't?

Physically going through everything involved in a move is not for sissies- you could probably write a book about that, right? But sooner or later it will all be behind you.

Mentally, a million things are flooding into your brain. Check-lists nag too, just as you are going to sleep, I bet!

Of course they are, YOU'RE in charge! :thumbup:

Emotionally, any change is challenging.... you know that from your accumulated life experience. This move may be a little bigger than some changes/ challenges you have had in the past, but you have the DESIRE. That's the fuel that will help you make manifest what you happily envision.

You are experiencing a mixed bag of excitement in starting up a new home in a new location, new and fun possibilities- and- letting go of some present things, familiar routines and favorite people.
Remember- those favorite people could also experience change one day- just because you are leaving, doesn't mean they will permanently stay where they are. You see?
All you are feeling is a normal reaction to change. You feel it more profoundly when you are fatigued- but you can decide to be kind to yourself- in increments if that is all you can muster right now. It is allowed- and prescribed by me.
Honey, you could do brain surgery, if each step were small enough to handle.
Carpe the heck out of your Diems- with joy! :MOJE_whot:
You're gonna love it here.

[Bonnevie]

Thanks, all. I think I've been overwhelmed doing this all alone. and I remind myself that although I have good people here, basically all I do is take the dogs to the dog park and go grocery shopping on weekends. My friends are all married. Where I live is a congested county and going to any activity begins to seem too much bother. I know that won't be a healthy way to live in retirement....it's too isolating.

I do think, once my bed is there and made, the cable is one and there's food in the refrigerator I'll feel better.

[graciegirl]

Thanks, all. I think I've been overwhelmed doing this all alone. and I remind myself that although I have good people here, basically all I do is take the dogs to the dog park and go grocery shopping on weekends. My friends are all married. Where I live is a congested county and going to any activity begins to seem too much bother. I know that won't be a healthy way to live in retirement....it's too isolating.

I do think, once my bed is there and made, the cable is one and there's food in the refrigerator I'll feel better.

Moving and beginning a new life is hard at any age but a little tougher for seniors. I have been worried for a lot of folks during and after they have arrived as many have felt a little down and a little overwhelmed. Sometimes finding a "soft place to fall" for a cup of coffee and reassurance makes things a little easier, but we can't expect too much of ourselves.

If you get here and feel down, call out to us here.

There are a lot of caring folks who read this forum.

I hope you will be happy here.

Kindest wishes,

Gracie.

[quirky3]

I think that part of what you are feeling is physical, mental and emotional fatigue. Who wouldn't?

Physically going through everything involved in a move is not for sissies- you could probably write a book about that, right? But sooner or later it will all be behind you.

Mentally, a million things are flooding into your brain. Check-lists nag too, just as you are going to sleep, I bet!

Of course they are, YOU'RE in charge! :thumbup:

Emotionally, any change is challenging.... you know that from your accumulated life experience. This move may be a little bigger than some changes/ challenges you have had in the past, but you have the DESIRE. That's the fuel that will help you make manifest what you happily envision.

You are experiencing a mixed bag of excitement in starting up a new home in a new location, new and fun possibilities- and- letting go of some present things, familiar routines and favorite people.
Remember- those favorite people could also experience change one day- just because you are leaving, doesn't mean they will permanently stay where they are. You see?
All you are feeling is a normal reaction to change. You feel it more profoundly when you are fatigued- but you can decide to be kind to yourself- in increments if that is all you can muster right now. It is allowed- and prescribed by me.
Honey, you could do brain surgery, if each step were small enough to handle.
Carpe the heck out of your Diems- with joy! :MOJE_whot:
You're gonna love it here.

What a great post! I love the "Carpe" phrase! I may borrow it!

[chachacha]

and bonnievie, don't forget there is a nice singles community here which is happy to help you meet others and begin a social life. let me know when you are arriving and i will plan a welcome committee!!! congrats on your new home.

[fb32162]

After signing all the papers on our house in TV, all I could think of was "WHAT HAVE WE DONE????" I'd wake up in the middle of the night asking myself this question. I was sick to my stomach and pretty much in a serious panic for a good month. For me, it was not really about leaving things behind, but more about what lay ahead. Will I fit in? Will I make any friends? Am I really ready to live in a "retirement" community? Did we buy the right house? My fears evaporated very quickly after we moved in. Yes, we fit in here and by attending a variety of activities and get togethers we met people and developed some wonderful friendships. I don't think of TV as a "retirement" community but rather, just a great community. As for the question, did we buy the right house....the answer is no. But that wasn't a big deal because a little over a year after buying our first house, we sold it (in less than a week for a nice profit). and bought a slightly larger home with a layout that better suits our needs.

I too was full of doubt and second-guessing before moving here but now, 2 yrs later, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

[Uptown Girl]

What a great post! I love the "Carpe" phrase! I may borrow it!

You sure can! :)

[Happinow]

I can appreciate where you are coming from. Like others have said, change of this magnitude is overwhelming, tiring and stressful. I can say that the phrase "keep on truckin'" comes to mind. I'm sure you are tired and sometimes wish you would have never started the process. But......there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you move into your new home you will be busy making your house a home. You will also be busy meeting new people and enjoying all that The Villages has to offer. I believe that as a single person TV is a great place to live. There are endless ways to meet other singles. I have a lady who lives down the road who is single and has made many new friends and enjoys activities. After you get yourself moved, take some time to make new memories and enjoy all that this wonderful place has to offer. I wish you all the best. Which villas are you moving to??

[boomerbaby]

I went through the same thing 4 yrs. ago, I was scared and was leaving the family because my husband wanted to be here. I do not golf, he does so it has been tough but I do not miss the n.y. winters, My husband is very happy and I have never seen a more friendly place. When you see someone who is not friendly it stands out because it is not that often. Give it time and know your not alone in the way you feel but after some time passes it gets easier. Good luck and we are always here for you.

[Love2cruise]

What a great post! I love the "Carpe" phrase! I may borrow it!

I agree, love how you stated that!

[kittygilchrist]

Bonnie, even tho you're a Seminole fan, I can't wait to meet you!
I moved from close as you're doing. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I felt very confused, afraid, chaotic and overwhelmed. If you want to vent, pm me and we'll exchange phone numbers.
Kitty
ps it was well worth it and I'm feeling very befriended and mostly right side up.

[McP1605]

Yup... I'm right there with you. I move in November! I have thought and felt everything you are going through. But, as my daughter keeps tellng me... I am not doing anything that can't be undone if I end up hating it there -- which I doubt! You can always sell your villa, but if you don't at least try it, you will never know! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! So.... here's to new beginnings! PM me sometime after November and we will get together and share our story!

[asianthree]

i never had a problem when we bought the first house falling asleep..but when we wanted a bigger home an hour after we signed i thought if was a mistake...we settled for a home we could afford...not what we wanted...but i can always sell it and find another one that makes me happy

[salferg]

When I read all the encouraging responses sent to Bonnievni helping to allay her fears about making the move, couldn't help but get a warm fuzzy feeling at how uplifting it is to live among such caring people that reach out to strangers with encouragement . 👏👏👏

[redwitch]

Moving is one of the major stressors in life -- right up there with losing your job, family deaths. If you didn't have some doubts and weren't second-guessing yourself, you wouldn't quite be normal. It goes with that proverbial territory.

Publix may be closer there but I bet you can't get there by golf cart. You'll find some great pet sitters here, too. Ditto doctors and dentists. And, if you don't find a good medical fit, you're probably close enough that you could use seeing your current MD/DDS to visit old friends. And you will make new friends here.

Hang in there! The journey may be somewhat painful but the arrival here is well worth the trip.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

I love this positive, wonderful community where we support each other and share our experiences to encourage each other! I am going through the horrors of packing and planning our move right now and, although I keep trying to surpress it, it's more stressful than I'd like to admit even to myself. I don't have anyone to talk to about it and when I have tried, they minimize it and give me some stupid answer. After reading 3 pages of posts I am amazed at how many people have said just the right thing to help ease my anxiety and make me feel soooo much better. I am sending out one big cosmic hug to all of you. Thank you. If I'm feeling it and posting I am sure there are many reading and feeling it too but not responding. Bonnevie, hang in there- everything eventually passes and there is a lot of wisdom in the words here.

[mainlander]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....

Bonnevie.. since you ask for affirmations... I suspect that what you are anxious about is typical for most, perhaps to varying degrees. So imo, you are not alone. What you seem to lose sight of from time to time,, is that your move is not to just any ole place,, some place where you have no idea what to do ....you are moving to "The Villages",, yeaa!

[CFrance]

These are all such great answers. And I might add, to Bonnevie and all of you who managed the buy of a TV house, sell of an old house, sorting your treasures, packing, and moving from your comfort zone on your own, you have my greatest level of admiration. You are very, very strong people, and I imagine you will either be fine in your new environment or decide to do something else.

[Jhooman]

Purge. Less is more. We moved from California and I'm so glad we got rid of 80% of our household. It has been a freeing experience to unload and to simplify our lives.

Plus you will have more time enjoying your life and not taking care of stuff.

Welcome to The Villages.

[Madelaine Amee]

Thanks, all. I think I've been overwhelmed doing this all alone. and I remind myself that although I have good people here, basically all I do is take the dogs to the dog park and go grocery shopping on weekends. My friends are all married. Where I live is a congested county and going to any activity begins to seem too much bother. I know that won't be a healthy way to live in retirement....it's too isolating.

I do think, once my bed is there and made, the cable is one and there's food in the refrigerator I'll feel better.

My neighbor is a widow, she moved here on her own from Michigan, it took a while for her to find her niche, but she did. She has very recently had a major heart problem, five way!, her friends and neighbors have rallied around her and have been the biggest and best support you could imagine. Her children came down here to take her back and she would not go ......... she said she has a better support system here with her single lady friends than she would ever have back North with her family who all have to work!

I have learned from reading this forum that there are some wonderful single women living here who are an excellent support for each other. Wish you much happiness in your new life.:)

[Parker]

Thanks, all. I think I've been overwhelmed doing this all alone. and I remind myself that although I have good people here, basically all I do is take the dogs to the dog park and go grocery shopping on weekends. My friends are all married. Where I live is a congested county and going to any activity begins to seem too much bother. I know that won't be a healthy way to live in retirement....it's too isolating.

I do think, once my bed is there and made, the cable is one and there's food in the refrigerator I'll feel better.


Just remember why you made the decision in the first place. The reasons you state here seem like very good ones to me. However, if you decide you've acted hastily, nothing is set in stone.

[Bonnevie]

thank you all. I'm feeling better having read your replies. That is just what I needed. I keep telling myself one way or the other, everything will get done.....and today I didn't wake up until 4am to worry instead of 2am so it must be getting better

[janieb]

Just remember why you made the decision in the first place. The reasons you state here seem like very good ones to me. However, if you decide you've acted hastily, nothing is set in stone.

this has been my philosophy, because I too had second thoughts after purchasing a home on my first visit. My thoughts have always been that if it turns out I don't like it here, I can sell my home and find somewhere else to move. But I don't think that will happen, in my 1st 4 visits there, I have loved most everything about it and it already feels like home, just wish I could move there full time right now but have family obligations in Michigan so I can't for a while.

[senior citizen]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....

You are not alone.......I'm pretty sure of that.

While it is easier to stay in our comfortable nest, whatever that may be at the moment.........prepping to move, the move itself and then settling in, will certainly NOT be easy....... but the end is in sight.

Just take one day at a time when you arrive.......give yourself permission to rest up after travel down to your new "home"......then go slowly.

In a few months, everything will seem familiar..........

"The past is history" whereas "the present is a gift".........
"The future is a mystery"......enjoy the ride.......

Wishing you peace and comfort in your new place.........

[beekman]

You are experiencing very common "I hate to move" symptoms. We have all been there and the symptoms get worse as we grow older. I recommend you continue to march forward without looking back and embrace your new exciting adventure....at least 80,000+ people already have! See you in TV!

[smcgirl]

My husband and I are going through it right now. We are renting until our new home is ready and our furniture arrives in a few weeks. STRESS??? it is more than I could have ever imagined. Even though we try to convince ourselves age is just a number, when it comes to moving it is overwhelming when youth is not on your side. I will be thinking of you as I try to get through this move myself. The kindness of everyone in The Villages makes it a bit easier.

[senior citizen]

Just remember you are not alone. When we were younger, we could have the new house "all put back together", boxes unpacked, etc. beds assembled, pictures hung, curtains up.....the same day we moved in. And we didn't have corporate moves, paid for by an employer, with boxes packed up by the movers. We did it all ourselves.

Of course, we were in our twenties, thirties and the last time 49. But, knowing how we feel today......it will never happen at our age of 68 now......and probably 69 when we eventually buy in TV. We will just try to remember to take it one day at a time.

[Madelaine Amee]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....

When you have made your move and have settled in, will you come back on this forum and let us all know how you are doing - we have all been through this and we really do understand and feel for you.

[Cantwaittoarrive]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....

Fantasy because reality and you are just second guessing yourself

[gomsiepop]

I guess I'm looking for some affirmations. Having bought a CYV a few months ago I have been trying to sell my house. One great offer fell thru but I got another not as great but one I can live with. I hesitate to say the house is sold until the actual closing given my past experience. Nevertheless, I have spent the last few weeks sorting and tossing and I have movers scheduled this week.

Did others have the mixed emotions I'm experiencing? I'm excited to finally being able to get in my villa and make it my home. But I find I'm noticing the things I like about where I live now. I've had my pet sitter since 2000. Publix is closer to me than it will be up there. I have a great dentist and good doctor.

Still, I have researched and for me as a single person, the activities and opportunities TV offers seemed to make it a good choice. I have a great neighbor up there who helped me by keeping an eye on the place. Everyone else I've met in the neighborhood has been welcoming and friendly.

Still all this packing, sorting, discarding on one's own is hard.
....I wake up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I'm doing.....


If only we could have purchased our home in The Villages without any stress! The packing, cleaning, transporting, scheduling, banking, etc, etc, etc. It is no wonder you are second guessing yourself. Try deep breathing exercises or whatever it takes to calm down. All of this will come to pass and before you know it you'll be enjoying yourself and getting into all that The Villages has to offer. It is a very unique and wonderful place to live. I look around as my husband and I are driving in our golf cart and say to him "I can't believe we live here". You will, luv, luv, luv it.

[kittygilchrist]

Canada Geese Honking & Flying Off - YouTube (http://youtu.be/6pbCr577RI0)

HONK, HONK, HONK!!! You can do this! We've got your back!

[Bonnevie]

somehow I have to get everything done by Thursday morning....I look around and things still seem so chaotic....I'm now just throwing things in boxes indiscriminately and will have to sort thru it on some lazy, rainy day up there. I expect I'll have to make several more trips to the Goodwill truck in the grocery store parking lot.

[kittygilchrist]

We can have the pickup crew come to your door, truly lots of orgs collect. Honk when you get here.
Kitty.

[ssmith]

...I have not moved there....but I have moved. It will take about a year before things really, really feel like home. At least this is how it is for me. I have ups and downs after a move but after about a year....all is familiar and I have friends and then things are much better.

Love how people have told you to write down why you are moving and refer back to it often.

Also, it is not set in stone...give a try....if not for you....then you will know.

Keep us posted.