View Full Version : Chuckle of the Day Redux - Quiz Game
JohnZ
07-31-2007, 08:24 AM
Each day I'll post a quote from a famous comedian, past and present. Y'all guess who said it. I'll post the answer the following day. Rules: no cheating...no internet searches etc. Here we go:
No. 1. "When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in the United States, you get a front row seat."
chacam
07-31-2007, 11:24 AM
John Lennon
JohnZ
07-31-2007, 12:50 PM
Nope. Not John Lennon.
patfinn
08-01-2007, 07:31 AM
George Carlin
JohnZ
08-01-2007, 08:27 AM
George Carlin it is.
JohnZ
08-01-2007, 09:53 AM
No. 2: "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
JohnZ
08-02-2007, 09:31 AM
Groucho Marx. This is cancelled due to lack of interest.
I knew Groucho. I just figure a hundred people would answer before me.
Keep is going, John!
JohnZ
08-06-2007, 09:45 PM
Okaay....
No. 3. "It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
golfnut
08-07-2007, 12:09 AM
W. C. Fields
JohnZ
08-07-2007, 09:08 AM
Got it right.
golfnut
08-08-2007, 11:59 AM
johnz, are we done already???
JohnZ
08-08-2007, 12:59 PM
Oops. Sorry.
Ok...a tough one for ya.
No. 4. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
JohnZ
08-08-2007, 01:03 PM
Ok....one more....same comedian.
No. 4B. "Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are."
kar guy
08-08-2007, 01:11 PM
SAM MALONE FROM CHEERS?
JohnZ
08-08-2007, 01:13 PM
Nope....but that's a great guess. Sounds like something Sam would say.
golfnut
08-09-2007, 07:26 AM
We're going to need a hint on this one John.
JohnZ
08-09-2007, 07:38 AM
Ok. His trademark is his glasses.
golfnut
08-09-2007, 09:38 AM
Drew Carey
JohnZ
08-09-2007, 10:41 AM
Bingo.
JohnZ
08-09-2007, 11:06 AM
Each day I'll post a quote from a famous comedian, past and present. Y'all guess who said it. I'll post the answer the following day. Rules: no cheating...no internet searches etc. Geez, people.....come-on....this is free entertainment.....Here we go:
Number five. "I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."
DickY
08-09-2007, 11:32 AM
Joan Rivers ???
JohnZ
08-09-2007, 11:34 AM
Nope...not Joan. Good guess though...she looks like she's almost there.
F16 1UB
08-09-2007, 12:08 PM
Carroll Burnett
DickY
08-09-2007, 12:10 PM
Phylis Diller :dontknow:
JohnZ
08-09-2007, 12:49 PM
Nope. Another good guess.
JohnZ
08-10-2007, 08:08 AM
The anser to No. 5 is.......Rita Rudner.
Each day I'll post a quote from a famous comedian, past and present. Y'all guess who said it. I'll post the answer the following day. Rules: no cheating...no internet searches etc. Here we go:
Now No. 6. ""The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
golfnut
08-10-2007, 12:15 PM
Jeff Foxworthy
DickY
08-10-2007, 12:30 PM
Jerry Seinfeld :joke:
JohnZ
08-10-2007, 12:33 PM
Wow...that was fast. Foxworthy is correct.
Donna
08-10-2007, 02:09 PM
JohnZ...Love your pic!! That was my favorite movie...LOL :#1:
JohnZ
08-11-2007, 09:15 AM
No. 7.
Each day I'll post a quote from a famous comedian, past and present. Y'all guess who said it. I'll post the answer the following day. Rules: no cheating...no internet searches etc. Here we go:
"I went to play golf to try to shoot my age. I ended up shooting my weight instead."
JohnZ
08-11-2007, 09:50 AM
Nope... good guess. Clue: This most admired and loved comedian always carried a golf club with him.
JohnZ
08-11-2007, 10:06 AM
Not Rodney....although I love Caddy Shack. I thought the golf club would be a dead giveaway.
JohnZ
08-11-2007, 10:30 AM
Nope....not Chevy.
JohnZ
08-11-2007, 11:29 AM
Right you are.... Will post another one tomorrow. No hints next time.
Shook hands with Bob once.....he came to visit the Vietnam POWs being treated at Wright-Patterson AFB Medical Center where I was stationed for a while. We cleared out the mess hall, wheeled the guys in there and he told jokes and chatted for a couple of hours. A real mensch of a guy.
golfnut
08-13-2007, 06:58 AM
We're waiting.
JohnZ
08-13-2007, 08:44 AM
I forgot to post yesterday so here's two quotes.
No. 8 "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." Clue: Stand-up comedian, writer, director.
No. 9 "What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy." Stand-up comedian, famous for political satire.
villages07
08-13-2007, 08:50 AM
8 - Jerry Seinfeld
9 - Bill Maher
JohnZ
08-13-2007, 10:13 AM
Nope. Not Jerry or Bill.
JohnZ
08-14-2007, 08:31 AM
No. 8 "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." Clue: Stand-up comedian, writer, director.
No. 9 "What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy." Stand-up comedian, famous for political satire.
No.8 is from Wood Allen
No.9 is from Dennis Miller
JohnZ
08-23-2007, 11:50 AM
Two famous comedian quotes....guess who.
No. 10 - "All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
No. 11. - "Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them."
10. Jack Benny?
11. Will Rogers?
JohnZ
08-23-2007, 01:05 PM
Not even close.....try again?
JohnZ
08-24-2007, 08:43 AM
Two famous comedian quotes....guess who.
No. 10 - "All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
No. 11. - "Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then - we elected them."
The correct answers are: No. 10 Red Skelton, No. 11 Lily Tomlin
Obviously, I never would have guessed.
Where you getting these from? No . . . don't tell me.
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