Codependent dog and owner?? Can't travel.

[kittygilchrist]

this goes on and on....sorry, but I do want to be clear...
I'd like to be able to travel more, but leaving my dog is very difficult. She was abandoned three times for no good reason (now an AKC good citizen, certified therapy dog with no training needed)...
I see threads asking for a stranger to come feed the dog while owners are gone and I can't imagine leaving Emma alone for more than a day with nothing but that.

I'm looking for help here as I would like to travel but I will only leave her with a proven sitter who is either hosting her at their home or who is staying with her at my home. A kennel is out of the question.
On adoption, she was 15-20 lbs underweight and dry-coated not from neglectful owners, but from the humane society's one size fits treatment, she was regal in bearing, but had big round sad eyes (now happy eyes), when I adopted her.

When I see other people asking for a sitter to come by the house and feed/walk the dog...it makes me think how mournful my dog would be to have me disappear and however kind a stranger would be popping by...I just don't think I could leave her to be alone that much and with someone she had not already bonded with.

I posted this to invite the opinions and thoughts of others. I'm not judging what anyone else decides for their animals...I could easily board my cat, though I know he would miss me too.

[Debfrommaine]

Totally understand all of your points and this is a quandary. Amazing how our pups touch our lives and become such a wonderful part of it. Had same concerns as you with Molly. We did decide to board her a Doggie Doo Run Run because Scott and his family are wonderful - the dogs are not crated and roam the house like the family's own dogs. When we've picked Molly up after our trips, she's great! Per your comments, I know you won't consider this but it did work for us and you'll figure it out for Emma, she is adorable. Thank you for rescuing, it's vital. And, I'm off to the Sanctuary shortly to help our beautiful pure souls there. Have a good day.

[redwitch]

Emma is a sweetheart and impossible not to love. I can well understand your concerns about having her feel abandoned. I've found that many dogs can cope with being alone during the day (owners are off and running and doing all the time) but it is hard for some to be left alone at night -- that's just too much loneliness. However, I think I'd still give it a shot if I were you.

Try just one day/night first. Make sure it is a sitter who will hang out with Emma, not just come in, feed and walk her, but don't have them spend the night. If she does okay, then try a longer trick. I know my policy is that if the owner is gone for more than 5 days, the dog should have someone spend the night at least every third day. For a secure dog, this seems to work well -- less sense of abandonment, it seems. For Emma, it might have to be nightly or every other night. But try the one night trip first and see how it goes.

Good luck. It isn't easy finding the right solution for caring for a beloved pet, especially not if it has been as traumatized as your lady has. (Okay, she's a semi-clown but she's still a lady.))

[Parker]

My sister takes her dog to Doggie Doo Run every Wednesday for dogsitting due to her work, so that they are familiar with the place. As the poster above says, they let the dogs run free around the house and fenced-in yard. They are very well treated and love to go there. So when she travels, there is no separation anxiety. This method might work for you too. If something, God forbid, ever happened to you, your dog could see that there are other loving people out there to trust.

[graciegirl]

I would take Emma in a heartbeat, but our three younger children are not used to larger friends.

[gomoho]

I have two senior dogs that are very people dependent. Since we arrived in TV we have taken them to someone's home for sitting several times, but even that creates a lot of stress for them. Our last trip we decided to try an in-home sitter that stayed at our house while coming and going as she needed and it worked out beautifully. No stress of taking them out of their normal environment and they stayed pretty close to their normal routine. I am a great believer in in-home sitting, but I also have no problem having a stranger stay in my home. If someone loves animals they are a good soul in my book.

[villages07]

My introduction to central FL was "cat sitting" for friends of my aunts who lived in Winter Park FL. They traveled often and I would fly down to cat/house sit. It was a great vacation for me and the house and cats were looked after.

So, offering your home as a "free" vacation destination for friends or family who want to come play here and take care of Emma while you are away is a "win-win" solution.

[Bonnevie]

I haven't taken a trip longer than 4 nights away. I have used people who come in three times a day and it has been ok in the past. However, I, too, would like to do more traveling for longer periods and will most likely want someone to stay here if possible at least part of the time. My dogs are also rescues and I've always said they are like foster children....so afraid of losing their new home, they get really stressed by change.

[lovinganimals]

If Emma is cat friendly, I am willing to have her stay at my house. I have done it numerous times for other dogs when I lived in CT. My dog would probably love the company as we used to have 2 others but now she is alone. She is a greyhound so she doesn't play with other dogs, but just likes the company.

[Barefoot]

I'd like to be able to travel more, but leaving my dog is very difficult.
I posted this to invite the opinions and thoughts of others.

We boarded our two dogs at a boarding facility while we took a ten-day Mediterranean cruise in 2011. Prior to the trip, we looked at several facilities and met the owners. This one was highly recommended by a multitude of people. We did try the facility for an over night prior to the cruise time, and the dogs were fine.

Our two dogs shared their own private, roomy living quarters with walls, and two comfy beds. They had an outside patio overlooking the dog play area. So when they weren't out playing themselves, they could be entertained by other dogs playing. They also had a 24 hour television in their room which played dog videos. This boarding facility had no wire fences and was the most highly rated facility in our area. The owners were wonderful, caring people.

Our 70 lb Lollipop was glad to see us when we picked the dogs up, but she was just fine. (She was a rescue that had four homes before we adopted her). BUT our 10 lb Biggins was a basket case. He was 11 years old at the time. Despite the fact that the girls who worked at the facility carried him around for hours every day, he lost weight, and when we picked him up, he was quivering and extremely anxious. After the cruise, he developed a tumor in his mouth, which required two separate surgeries. I think the tumor could have been activated by all the stress he was feeling. To this day, he still suffers from extreme anxiety.

I realize that all this agonizing about the well being of pets is absurd to anyone who isn't a true pet lover. But for us, it's a real concern. The next time we travel, we intend to leave the dogs in our home, in familiar surroundings, with a live-in care giver. And we will try a short trip first, and then a bit longer, just to make sure the dogs are OK.

[Village Kid 2]

I feel the same way about my cat. He is really a people cat and gets very lonely if left alone. I have traded cat sitting with good friends who are neighbors and that has worked well for short trips. We would like to take longer trips (a month or two) in the summer if I could find a happy solution for my fur baby. I have thought an ideal situation would be to find another owner of a single cat (or two) who would want to trade having the cats in either of our homes together while either of us travels. We could introduce them ahead of time to see if they get along. Cats do take longer than dogs to adjust to other animals. My cat (12 yo) is probably ready for some company as his two older sisters (19 and 20) crossed the rainbow bridge this past year. I am missing them too so another cat visitor would be welcome. If anyone is interested in doing this, please send me a pm.

[OBXNana]

As we look forward to coming to TV, I realize my responses are coming from PA and may not be practical any place else. We have two rescued labs and a foster lab/hound mix. All 3 have gone through so much and we like to travel. Our solution (may not work everywhere) is to board them with the rescue from where they came. All three go for doggie day care at Animal House every few weeks to keep them familiar with the volunteers and the employees. The rescue uses the money to fund the rescue and we know the pups are in great hands. It's a win for us, our dog family, and the rescue.

[Barefoot]

I feel the same way about my cat. He is really a people cat and gets very lonely if left alone. I have traded cat sitting with good friends who are neighbors and that has worked well for short trips. We would like to take longer trips (a month or two) in the summer if I could find a happy solution for my fur baby. I have thought an ideal situation would be to find another owner of a single cat (or two) who would want to trade having the cats in either of our homes together while either of us travels. We could introduce them ahead of time to see if they get along. Cats do take longer than dogs to adjust to other animals. My cat (12 yo) is probably ready for some company as his two older sisters (19 and 20) crossed the rainbow bridge this past year. I am missing them too so another cat visitor would be welcome. If anyone is interested in doing this, please send me a pm.

Have you seen the thread "Found - Tiny Black Cat". Awww, sounds like a real cutie.

Seems like a purfect fit for you (just tell Chuckie you found him in the street outside your Villa). :icon_wink:

[GeoGeo]

I don't know if this will help anyone or not, but I thought I would share our experience. Our dogs were very attached to us. They would have separation anxiety if we left to go outside, let alone to the store. When it came to vacations, we would only go on trips where we could take the dogs with us. I guess we were afraid they would die if they stayed at a boarding facility. They were not used to other dogs, a different feeding schedule, the noise, etc. Well, it came a time when we had to fly out of state and didn't have any other choice but to board them at a boarding facility. We figured they would be mourning, sitting in the corner, missing us, not eating, on the verge of death, and so on. Well, when we returned we sneaked over to where they were in the play area outside. They were having a blast with all the other dogs. Our jaws just about hit the ground. Miss us? You couldn't tell it. In fact, after that incident we had to go away again and boarded them at a different facility because we had moved to Florida. Again, we sneaked backed in to view them and they were again having a great time. No signs of missing us, no signs of missing a meal, nothing. So we determined that it must be us. We were told by a trainer that dogs adapt very well and that owners do take their own feelings (even though they don't realize they are doing it) and turn those feelings into what the dog must be feeling and going through. The dogs were actually having so much fun and were so busy that they didn't have time to be worrying about us. So be assured that if you do want to travel, that if you select a reputable place, your pet should be just fine. After you have selected a place to board or a person to care for them, you might have them watch your pet for a few hours or during the day for a time or two just so your pet will be familiar with that person or that place that will be watching them. It is still hard on us and we don't want to be away from our pet, but at least we know if we have to they will be okay.

[Patty55]

As we look forward to coming to TV, I realize my responses are coming from PA and may not be practical any place else. We have two rescued labs and a foster lab/hound mix. All 3 have gone through so much and we like to travel. Our solution (may not work everywhere) is to board them with the rescue from where they came. All three go for doggie day care at Animal House every few weeks to keep them familiar with the volunteers and the employees. The rescue uses the money to fund the rescue and we know the pups are in great hands. It's a win for us, our dog family, and the rescue.

I did the same thing on LI, took them to the rescue group for grooming (I only get puppy cuts, nothing fancy). Most of the time if I had to travel I would try to take them, if not I boarded them at the rescue. Girl Scouts working on badges would come in and play with them. I always left something of mine from home with them. Figured they'd think that even if I dumped them I'd surely be back for my pillow-LOL.

I preferred giving the money to the rescue group. I figured that if Save-a-Pet could save them then they should be able to take care of them for a few days.

[sharonga]

My Tiny is a 6 pound chihuaua. Abused as a baby, adopted by us at 6 months. She is now 13. She will only allow my husband, granddaughter (older one), daughter and daughter's boyfriend to socialize with her. That being said, going away is as stressful for me as it is for her. Usually we will have friends (that she knows) come in, feed her and TRY to play with her. No one has yet been able to make friends. We leave wee wee pads because she will not go out with anyone but me. When we come home she is a basket case. SO....for us to leave her is so hard. I had a nice lady come here to try to make friends so she could be her only babysitter, she would not go near her. Its not easy when your baby is that difficult. On another note, I have a friend who has at any given time 5 little dogs that she watches. They love her, her home and the other dogs. They are so happy in her house, its amazing. Mine crouches down and runs under the table.

[kittygilchrist]

As we look forward to coming to TV, I realize my responses are coming from PA and may not be practical any place else. We have two rescued labs and a foster lab/hound mix. All 3 have gone through so much and we like to travel. Our solution (may not work everywhere) is to board them with the rescue from where they came. All three go for doggie day care at Animal House every few weeks to keep them familiar with the volunteers and the employees. The rescue uses the money to fund the rescue and we know the pups are in great hands. It's a win for us, our dog family, and the rescue.

that's good that it worked for you and I appreciate the thought. That must be an awesome rescue place...

[kittygilchrist]

My Tiny is a 6 pound chihuaua. Abused as a baby, adopted by us at 6 months. She is now 13. She will only allow my husband, granddaughter (older one), daughter and daughter's boyfriend to socialize with her. That being said, going away is as stressful for me as it is for her. Usually we will have friends (that she knows) come in, feed her and TRY to play with her. No one has yet been able to make friends. We leave wee wee pads because she will not go out with anyone but me. When we come home she is a basket case. SO....for us to leave her is so hard. I had a nice lady come here to try to make friends so she could be her only babysitter, she would not go near her. Its not easy when your baby is that difficult. On another note, I have a friend who has at any given time 5 little dogs that she watches. They love her, her home and the other dogs. They are so happy in her house, its amazing. Mine crouches down and runs under the table.

Now that is a real problem. Emma likes everybody who likes her. How lucky your little one is to be loved just like she is. kudos..

[kittygilchrist]

me again. about the place that rescued Emma. I am deeply grateful...I adopted her the first day I volunteered to walk the dogs...but if we still lived in that town, I wouldn't take her back there and leave her, ever, ever!...because she'd be in a kennel with very loud, anxious, abandoned animals in exactly the place where she was when she was abandoned 3X and how would she know this time was not really abandonment? Not to mention there are amateur dog-handlers like I was, walking her among other unknown possibly aggressive animals and passing in the halls and turf with possible kennel coughers and new intakes not clear for general population.
Trying not to, but I'm going on...and they feed Pedigree large bite mostly corn food which Emma will only eat to survive. (I'd eat it to survive too. LOL)
I'll guess many of you got your rescue from a better environment! I KNOW you did.

[duffysmom]

Kitty I could write a book on being codependent with my Duffy. He was disagnosed with inoperable liver shunts when he was a puppy and given a year or two to live. He lived 13years and is still alive in my heart. Duffy was tiny (3-4lbs) and when I received the diagnosis I was devastated and consequently carried him around, his feet never hit the floor. His nickname was Velcro since he was constantly stuck to me.:icon_wink: Are you getting the picture?

Anyway my husband loves to travel but I couldn't leave Duffy. Picture me in a casino in Las Vegas with Duffy in his travel bag playing the slots. He was with us at Circus de Sole until he began to bark at the aerialists. Eventially (after my husband read me the riot act) I did find an elderly lady who took Duffy into her home; I would call her daily from Europe, I even called from the middle of the Atlantic while crossing on a ship (satillite calls and very expensive) for reports and she always said the same thing, "he's fine, don't worry" but of course I did worry. What can I say, it was my own separation anxiety, he always bounced back when I returned home.

We are now looking at rescues and starting a fund for phychiatric help when the time comes.lol

[kittygilchrist]

the gem in your story is letting us see your own anxiety, and I'm right there.
By history, I left Emma with a 3 pack of dogs with an amazing long term dog/farm owner whom she knew and loved, while I took yoga certification classes for a few days. Greeting Emma after it was over, I could see right away in her eyes that she was ill. Short story, she had ingested old motor oil from a bin on the farm. Kind and well-intentioned friend did not see through Emma's eyes.
You just never know when it isn't you keeping your pets, what might happen.

[Patty55]

me again. about the place that rescued Emma. I am deeply grateful...I adopted her the first day I volunteered to walk the dogs...but if we still lived in that town, I wouldn't take her back there and leave her, ever, ever!...because she'd be in a kennel with very loud, anxious, abandoned animals in exactly the place where she was when she was abandoned 3X and how would she know this time was not really abandonment? Not to mention there are amateur dog-handlers like I was, walking her among other unknown possibly aggressive animals and passing in the halls and turf with possible kennel coughers and new intakes not clear for general population.
Trying not to, but I'm going on...and they feed Pedigree large bite mostly corn food which Emma will only eat to survive. (I'd eat it to survive too. LOL)
I'll guess many of you got your rescue from a better environment! I KNOW you did.

You're right, I could never bring them back there. My place was a different situation, they weren't in with the general population, I brought their own food and toys.

Thank God that place saw something in Emma and saved her.

Thirteen years ago I had a terrible house fire and lost two dogs and two cats and have been a bit MENTAL about the animals since (Y'think? LOL). For me the most dangerous place for them is home, very hard to process that. When I went out I would constantly call my fax line to see if my house was still there. Even now if I'm out and see fire trucks go by I freak out and have to go home and check to see if my house is okay. I totally understand all the anxiety.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

I totally understand your reluctance to leave your dogs/cats with just anyone or in a kennel or with strangers. We bought a motorhome so we could travel with our dogs. Does anyone know how many hotel stays you could have for the price of a motorhome? LOL. However, the peace of mind I get taking my furfamily with me is totally worth it. Since my husband and I had summers to travel we often spent many weeks away from home traveling and I didn't want to leave them with a sitter or kenneled so long. But we also have a timeshare so we do leave them for a week every now and then because we can't take them on our timeshare vacations. When we do that we always get someone to stay in our home with them. It's not easy finding someone all the time but we have been lucky and I have had to get over that feeling of weirdness from having someone in my home. If I get a good recommendation from someone I trust I'll use that person after meeting them. I can't always get a friend to do it. Perhaps I'll find someone to 'trade houses' with us and pet sit when we move to TV this summer.

[OBXNana]

Our rescue is a no kill shelter. The dogs aren't crated unless they can do harm to other dogs. They go into individual foster homes and get extensive love and training. They spend at least 6 months as a foster before they can go into a home. Once in a forever home the foster parent spends time with the family. The outside quarter acre has little tyke tables, slides, and in the summer kiddy pools. Our dogs love to go to doggy vacation.

In our area I know of 2 rescues that are very similar. Is it possible there is a similar concept in your area? It's amazing to leave your pups and know they're happy to be going. When we arrive for pick up we get unlimited kisses and know they had a good vacation with other play mates.

I know how hard it is to find the perfect place and hope you can find it for peace of mind.

[kittygilchrist]

If Emma is cat friendly, I am willing to have her stay at my house. I have done it numerous times for other dogs when I lived in CT. My dog would probably love the company as we used to have 2 others but now she is alone. She is a greyhound so she doesn't play with other dogs, but just likes the company.

You know, I followed another lead for Emma and the kitty for this trip I'll be away, but it would be nice to meet with you and let the dogs hang out together for fun. Emma is also not so into pack affilitation, but enjoys a bit of company.
Kitty
ps and she ignores cats and chickens.

[Sable99]

I wish I was staying longer as i would have been glad to stay at your house and take care of Emma. I haven't had a dog in a long time but I love animals and they know it!

As you know, I am only visiting TV for two weeks. A friend is going to our Michigan home daily to play with my two cats. I talked to her tonight and she said they were playing so much together that they weren't missing me! I'm not sure I like that!

[skyc6]

the gem in your story is letting us see your own anxiety, and I'm right there.
By history, I left Emma with a 3 pack of dogs with an amazing long term dog/farm owner whom she knew and loved, while I took yoga certification classes for a few days. Greeting Emma after it was over, I could see right away in her eyes that she was ill. Short story, she had ingested old motor oil from a bin on the farm. Kind and well-intentioned friend did not see through Emma's eyes.
You just never know when it isn't you keeping your pets, what might happen.

I can tell you that Donna Walker does excellent animal care both in your home or several daily visits. She also does eldercare for those who have an elderly person who they need respite care for. PM me for her contact information, or contact her on this site. You will not be dissapointed!:spoken:

[Ohiogirl]

Like a previous poster, we arrange for friends or relatives to come have a free vacation and stay in our home when we go on a planned vacation. It takes a lot of coordination and we can't do spur of the moment trips, but we've done it probably 6-8 times. One couple jokes that they are going to buy a puppy for us when the time comes.

Our dog is almost 17 yrs old - used to board him when he was younger, and he was always ok, but obviously stressed. Don't think he could handle that anymore.

For day trips, we arrange with a neighbor to come walk hime once or twice, or bring him over to play in their villa backyard, and we do the same for their dog. We used to be able to leave him all day when we were both working and he was younger, but not anymore.

It is limiting having a pet, and ours will not be replaced for a while once he goes to doggie heaven, but you pet lovers out there understand.

[pjeffrey]

I can highly reccommend Happy Tales Pet Sitting of the Villages, Kathy is wonderful with cats and dogs. She has 15 years experience, and is fully insured. Her email is kathy.petsitting@gmail.com

[babbs455]

I love Emma she was such a pleasure to have with us, I must admit we really missed her when she went home :) I am here anytime you need to travel...she can come back anytime.

[kittygilchrist]

I love Emma she was such a pleasure to have with us, I must admit we really missed her when she went home :) I am here anytime you need to travel...she can come back anytime.

A very happy ending for this thread....Emma stayed with Barbara and her family in the country. Instead of just me, she had 3 people to love her. Probably somebody home almost all the time. Room to run outside, which she does not have at home, and allowed to come in the house and laze around on the rugs with Barbara's dog.

I can't tell you what a wonderful relief it is to know a family that Emma can stay with as a home away from home. Italy was great and I did not suffer over Emma's care.....now guess who wants to go on a cruise?

thank you Babbs...we'll be back!
Kitty and Emma