A message about aging

[Madelaine Amee]

We spent the Christmas with family in NH. The weather was absolutely unbearable, bitterly cold, freezing rain, freezing fog and snow - then top that off with the muck and filth that follows when they salt and sand. At some time during the holiday the question of when we were going to be too old to live in Florida and would have to go back "home" to live with the kids was raised. Due to the fact that we are still only "39" it has never occurred to me before that at some time we would be too old to live in our own home and in Florida. It took me completely by surprise and has been roaming through my head ever since the question was raised.

Has anyone else thought about this, or am I over reacting? To be quite truthful, the very idea of returning to the North fills me with horror, I can envision being a prisoner in my home (or God forbid theirs) for the winter months. On top of which our children have mentioned in passing that when they retire they will probably move south .............. so what happens to the parents at that time?

I just read this through and it sounds kinda dramatic, but I am interested in hearing other opinions.

[manaboutown]

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could get me to move to a cold, severe climate. I would find a way to stay away!

The longest 20 years I ever spent in 30 months was in a US city on the Great Lakes which I shall not name.

[bike42]

All of the new assisted living facilities are being built because there are now 100,000+ people here who don't ever want to go back up north.

[getdul981]

If there was a reason to be there, we would still be there. No eason to move back north that I can think of, unless it would be for better health care. The hardest part about moving here was giving up all the good health care professionals that we had grown to know over the years. It's tough starting all over.

[BarryRX]

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could get me to move to a cold, severe climate. I would find a way to stay away!

The longest 20 years I ever spent in 30 months was in a US city on the Great Lakes which I shall not name.

We folks from Toledo wont be insulted if it was us. We understand!

[CFrance]

You missed the humor there, rubicon. They are not 39.

We will never, ever move back north. I'd take a nursing home here first.

[gomoho]

Our plan is when we can no longer manage on our own, or choose not to manage on our own, we will find a facility that will allow us to age in place. Independent, assisted, than memory care if needed - and this will definitely be in Florida or perhaps somewhere else that is warm.

Of course you know what they say - we make plans and God laughs.

Having dealt with this with my mom we have been exposed to how wonderful these facilities can be if you go while you still have your wits about you so that it then becomes home. Hopefully you can go with your spouse or significant other to ease the
transition.

It's never too early to start thinking about these things.

[Bryant]

My sentiments exactly.

[Bonnevie]

mine, also. seems to me it's better to be in weather such as Florida, rather than in the cold where you're restricted to being indoors a lot more. I always joked that I would pick out my ALF so my son doesn't have to make a decision. I intend to find the nicest one I can afford.

[terrieb]

For people who live up North - (and are retired) - normally stay indoors during the cold months (Dec - Mar) and only going out when they have to. Why? Because it is too cold. In the spring, summer and fall months, (April - October/November), there are all kinds of activity going on in some of the Northern states where the temperatures are manageable. People come outside for these months.

In Florida, most people (who are retired), stay inside during the hot months - (usually July - August - September) and only come out when they have to. Why? Because it is too hot and muggy. The rest of the months are usually either bearable or very comfortable. So most people come outside when it is a comfortable temperature. Just like the Northern states, you adjust for the temperature and if you want to mess with the snow and ick.

So it is a matter of location and preference what people do during certain months of the year because of the weather. If you are fully retired, then you don't really need a "daily planner" of your things to do. You let the weather decide for you. At least that is how I see it. Go with the flow.

[CFrance]

For people who live up North - (and are retired) - normally stay indoors during the cold months (Dec - Mar) and only going out when they have to. Why? Because it is too cold. In the spring, summer and fall months, (April - October/November), there are all kinds of activity going on in some of the Northern states where the temperatures are manageable. People come outside for these months.

In Florida, most people (who are retired), stay inside during the hot months - (usually July - August - September) and only come out when they have to. Why? Because it is too hot and muggy. The rest of the months are usually either bearable or very comfortable. So most people come outside when it is a comfortable temperature. Just like the Northern states, you adjust for the temperature and if you want to mess with the snow and ick.

So it is a matter of location and preference what people do during certain months of the year because of the weather. If you are fully retired, then you don't really need a "daily planner" of your things to do. You let the weather decide for you. At least that is how I see it. Go with the flow.

The thing that IMO is different about staying indoors inn FL in the summer and indoors up north in the winter is the amount of sunshine. One year in Grand Rapids, MI, the entire month of November yielded zero sunshine. And I'm not exaggerating.

I feel a lot happier staying indoors down here, looking out the sliders at the sun in the backyard. It always got me down, the gloom that accompanied winter at Lake Michigan.

I agree with terrieb, we would go to assisted living and then nursing home down here.

[billethkid]

Staying indoors in the summer time in FL is akin to staying indoors in the winter time is, in my opinion, a stretch comparison.

I suspect there are fewer that "stay indoors" in the summertime in FL than those who don't live here think.

I look at it this way....FOR ME.....in the summertime or anytime for that matter there are almost 365 days per year I have the option to go/do/play/etc outdoors here in FL.

Back home....snow country.....there is no such option....FOR ME.....because I detes the cold with every fiber of my body. That means misery from 11/1 to 4/1 each year.....NO THANX!!!!!!!

I know when I am far enough North....if there are no palm trees I have wandered too far.

[CFrance]

Staying indoors in the summer time in FL is akin to staying indoors in the winter time is, in my opinion, a stretch comparison.

I suspect there are fewer that "stay indoors" in the summertime in FL than those who don't live here think.

I look at it this way....FOR ME.....in the summertime or anytime for that matter there are almost 365 days per year I have the option to go/do/play/etc outdoors here in FL.

Back home....snow country.....there is no such option....FOR ME.....because I detes the cold with every fiber of my body. That means misery from 11/1 to 4/1 each year.....NO THANX!!!!!!!

I know when I am far enough North....if there are no palm trees I have wandered too far.

I agree. We go outside much more often in the summer down here than we did in the winter up north.

[Madelaine Amee]

For people who live up North - (and are retired) - normally stay indoors during the cold months (Dec - Mar) and only going out when they have to. Why? Because it is too cold. In the spring, summer and fall months, (April - October/November), there are all kinds of activity going on in some of the Northern states where the temperatures are manageable. People come outside for these months.

In Florida, most people (who are retired), stay inside during the hot months - (usually July - August - September) and only come out when they have to. Why? Because it is too hot and muggy. The rest of the months are usually either bearable or very comfortable. So most people come outside when it is a comfortable temperature. Just like the Northern states, you adjust for the temperature and if you want to mess with the snow and ick.

So it is a matter of location and preference what people do during certain months of the year because of the weather. If you are fully retired, then you don't really need a "daily planner" of your things to do. You let the weather decide for you. At least that is how I see it. Go with the flow.

You are way off with your assumption of "staying indoors in the summer in Florida". We go out every day, we swim, we walk, ride bikes, go out in the evening, go to the movies, play golf, pickleball, tennis, dance, attend club meetings or even just sit and visit with neighbors on their porch, etc. etc. Whereas, in NH where we are from, you could never ride a bike, swim, walk, go out in the evening, and certainly not visit someone on their porch. No comparison whatsoever. Plus, winter in NH usually lasts from late November to April or even May.

There is absolutely no comparison between Florida living and Northern living.

[Happydaz]

You are way off with your assumption of "staying indoors in the summer in Florida". We go out every day, we swim, we walk, ride bikes, go out in the evening, go to the movies, play golf, pickleball, tennis, dance, attend club meetings or even just sit and visit with neighbors on their porch, etc. etc. Whereas, in NH where we are from, you could never ride a bike, swim, walk, go out in the evening, and certainly not visit someone on their porch. No comparison whatsoever. Plus, winter in NH usually lasts from late November to April or even May.

There is absolutely no comparison between Florida living and Northern living.
I agree totally. I am also from NH and winter was a long, cold, dark time. For me it was a depressing time. Summer here was wonderful. I played pickle ball in the morning, did a little gardening, ate lunch and then spent the rest of the day at the pool socializing. Then we would go out to dinner, no reservations necessary!

[2BNTV]

This is my first winter in TV and I would never go back to the northeast during the winter months. It would have to be a very special occasion to do so, and I would be looking to get back to TV ASAP!!!

Fortunately, my son is in Florida, so moving north would not be option for me. :smiley:

It has been 15 degrees higher than the normal temps, in Florida, this year, Shorts, t-shirt and sandals are the only way to live for me.

I think you may have starting, way too early, worrying, what will happen in the long term future. I would wait to see what my options would be, if only a few years, from the day you have to decide, whether you move closer to your children. For all you know, they may have moved to Florida by then.

"Man plans, GOD laughs" is a good saying, for something that is out of our control. It's too far away, to start worrying about it now. IMHO

I would wait, to make a decision with all the facts at the time, it needs to be made, and say, "this is the best I can do, and let it go".

[Barefoot]

For people who live up North - (and are retired) - normally stay indoors during the cold months (Dec - Mar) and only going out when they have to. Why? Because it is too cold. In the spring, summer and fall months, (April - October/November), there are all kinds of activity going on in some of the Northern states where the temperatures are manageable. People come outside for these months.

In Florida, most people (who are retired), stay inside during the hot months - (usually July - August - September) and only come out when they have to. Why? Because it is too hot and muggy. The rest of the months are usually either bearable or very comfortable. So most people come outside when it is a comfortable temperature. Just like the Northern states, you adjust for the temperature and if you want to mess with the snow and ick.

So it is a matter of location and preference what people do during certain months of the year because of the weather. If you are fully retired, then you don't really need a "daily planner" of your things to do. You let the weather decide for you. At least that is how I see it. Go with the flow.

It's unsettling to think about our eventual decline, but I don't think it is ever too soon to speculate about the "What Ifs". A long life isn't promised to any of us. (Oh yikes, sorry if that's a negative thought).

Terrie, thanks for your interesting perspective. I hadn't really thought about the logistics of staying indoors when it's cold up north, versus staying indoors when it's hot down south.

[upinmaine]

This is the best string I have ever read on this site. All of the comments were insightful, intelligent, enlightening, and just plain well done.
We moved here from Maine just over a year ago and we still feel like every day is like a vacation day. We are very fortunate that our daughter and grandson also moved down here and live close by. Someday we hope that our son and daughter-in-law will join us. They are certainly thinking about it.
Even without the kids, we have decided that this is the place we intend to be to the rest of our lives. We are "frogs" - here until we croak.
We have a new "family" here. We have a neighborhood full of caring and thoughtful people. Everyone looks out for everyone. I could go across the street or next door to ask for anything, and I know they would help. I can't imagine any "blood relatives" being more attentive and concerned about the well being of others.
We absolutely love the climate here. We don't miss the ice, the cold, and the snow. And despite all of the warnings of our friends up north - the summer here was not bad at all. In fact, we loved it.
For us, the feeling of home is people, not location or climate.

[patfla06]

It's something we discuss from time to time, although the thought
doesn't thrill me at all.
I think about it more if my DH were to go before me would I stay here?

One thing I don't have to worry about is being alive when my
Son retires!

[DAWN MARIE]

I am also from Maine and lived there from birth until I moved here six years ago. I cannot imagine going back into the cold and snow. For me winter was way to long and around February I'd have awful cabin fever.

I am in the best possible shape I've ever been in because of my lifestyle here. In Maine I was virtually inside most of the winter because it was just too cold to do anything. Here, I can run all year long, even in the hot summer months. I just go out early or later in the evening. In Maine, it could be dangerous because of the ice to do so during the winter months. So every Spring it was a chore to rid myself of the winter weight gain and start all over again. Here I've been able to maintain my fitness level all year long without interruption that a cold climate brings.

Now, if I can just convince my three sons and grandchildren to move here, my life would be complete.