[Holpat39]

One of the best post.

[Duneahh]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

Thanks for this good exercise OrangeBlossomBaby. It induced me to go even further: I don't care who is in, or gets out of, the car (or even approaches on foot). Unless it is known fact that the house has sold and these might be new owners, then my "neighborhood awareness" feels suspicious about any humans being there at 9PM at night. That is safety instinct (or bias if preferred).

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by Byte1

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Seems like a giant rationalization for Historic inequities, to me.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

In general, tribalism is an anthropological survival mechanism, which can explain lots of things.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Originally Posted by MJY10101

Coming from a very diverse town in CT, I truly miss the diversity here in The Villages. My opinion is that when minorities read about this place, they are turned off by the White Republican demographic. It is a haven for old people raised in the 50’s and 60’s who were inherently racist against mostly blacks. As a Jewish couple, we feel it too. Still hear the “Jew them down” comment if people don’t know we are Jewish. Also, it’s a little uncomfortable when everyone, during the Christmas holiday, forgets that not everyone in the world is Christian and wishes us a Merry Christmas or Asks if we have finished our shopping yet. We know it’s not mean spirited so we just thank them and move on. Just sayin.....

Other than the Merry Christmas thing, I agree with everything you posted. Including the being from a diverse town in Connecticut (Hamden/New Haven/East Haven/North Haven - lived in a combination of all those, most of my life).

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

I have had a run-in with someone here in TV recently, who asked which church I belonged to. When I told them none, I'm Jewish, they abruptly changed their posture and tone of voice - the rest of the conversation seemed to be coming from the perspective of sympathy that I hadn't yet accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I just rolled the invisible eyes in the back of my head, put on a fake smile, and excused myself to go on to do other things.

[Stu from NYC]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

Other than the Merry Christmas thing, I agree with everything you posted. Including the being from a diverse town in Connecticut (Hamden/New Haven/East Haven/North Haven - lived in a combination of all those, most of my life).

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

I have had a run-in with someone here in TV recently, who asked which church I belonged to. When I told them none, I'm Jewish, they abruptly changed their posture and tone of voice - the rest of the conversation seemed to be coming from the perspective of sympathy that I hadn't yet accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I just rolled the invisible eyes in the back of my head, put on a fake smile, and excused myself to go on to do other things.

We have found people very accepting when we tell them we are Jewish.

Expect that Christmas time we will be asked regularly are we ready for it and etc and we will typically say yes as they mean well.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Originally Posted by Stu from NYC

We have found people very accepting when we tell them we are Jewish.

Expect that Christmas time we will be asked regularly are we ready for it and etc and we will typically say yes as they mean well.

Yup. I've found the same by and large. I was warned that "the south" is very much into the whole "what church do you go to" thing when they're welcoming new people. I haven't found that the case here in Florida (which isn't exactly "the south"), which was why it was so notable that it finally did happen, in the midst of polite conversation.

[Red White & Blue]

Originally Posted by newgirl

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

Total Fake News!
So your saying that only WHITES can access the internet which seems 80% is the way the Villages promote its self and another 19% is word of mouth.

[Heyitsrick]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

Unless you're specifically referring to the non-religious parts of Christian holidays (Santa Claus / Easter Bunny, etc.), I do find it interesting to learn that Christian tenets were taught as "fairy tales" by a religion that professes to believe in an incorporeal God. I'm wondering what the threshold is to reach the "fairy tale" bar. Obviously, a supernatural deity doesn't make the cut.

[billethkid]

Anonymity is such a wonderful catalyst.

[Stu from NYC]

Originally Posted by Red White & Blue

Total Fake News!
So your saying that only WHITES can access the internet which seems 80% is the way the Villages promote its self and another 19% is word of mouth.

Amazing some of the comments on here.

living in Va do not believe we ever saw an add for the Villages, kept hearing about it from folks we met on cruises who all loved this place and than turns out our daughters sorority sisters parents live here.

[thesquare]

Has TOTV become the place for conscience clearing assistance? I think professional help might be the answer to the problem..

[Jerry101]

Originally Posted by JimJohnson

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

... no WE weren’t!!! Seriously, how dare you make such a blanket statement! WE were in Sunday school and church every Sunday. WE lived by the Golden Rule. Our OP must need a ‘shrink’! Are you serious? You’re rethinking 1966??? John 3:16. ... the perfect compliment to ALL LIVES MATTER...

[twinklesweep]

Originally Posted by Villagerjjm

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

How WOULD we react? For us the question was how DID we react. We did with love, acceptance, and joy on our part. That they're an interracial couple is unimportant to us—and obviously to them; we feel so fortunate that they are as happy and as accomplished as they are. As parents we could not be more thrilled than to see our kids like this. I suspect, though, from the question that not everyone would feel as we do....

[billethkid]

Originally Posted by twinklesweep

How WOULD we react? For us the question was how DID we react. We did with love, acceptance, and joy on our part. That they're an interracial couple is unimportant to us—and obviously to them; we feel so fortunate that they are as happy and as accomplished as they are. As parents we could not be more thrilled than to see our kids like this. I suspect, though, from the question that not everyone would feel as we do....

Those that don't?
Just acknowledge their isolated report. Then ignore!