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  #2261  
Old 08-09-2013, 12:52 PM
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lovsthosebigdogs lovsthosebigdogs is offline
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Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com View Post
Sorry to change the subject, but I have an issue. What do you do when your husband isn't interested in sex as much as your are? We've been recently married for 5 years. He stays up at night watching TV then comes to bed around 3:00 A.M. He gets up before I do.
Different people just have different levels of need. If this is a change for him maybe you could talk about it or get him to discuss the change with his doctor (men usually aren't too keen on this). If he goes to bed that late and gets up that early (before you) how does he function during the day on so little sleep? Maybe that is part of the problem. He must be exhausted.
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  #2262  
Old 08-09-2013, 01:11 PM
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CFrance CFrance is offline
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Originally Posted by lovsthosebigdogs View Post
It was a truly lovely thing to do. Cudos! I love how nice people are here. You really get to know people's hearts without being confused by the 'outter shell' of people. I love that. Sort of how a dog sees people- heart only. (I mean no disrespect to non-animal people but animal people will know what I am talking about).
How DOES anyone get someone's address or email here in a discreet way? Or does one just have to ask outright?
Bare, hope you are feeling better every day.
I PM'd Bare and said I ran across something I'd like to send her, and she trusted me enough to give me her address. Now that privacy is such a big issue, I would never ask a third party for someone's telephone number or address. Instead I would ask the third party to ask that person to contact me.

Bu we do kinda get to know one another here, fer sure.
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  #2263  
Old 08-09-2013, 02:51 PM
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Madelaine Amee Madelaine Amee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com View Post
Sorry to change the subject, but I have an issue. What do you do when your husband isn't interested in sex as much as your are? We've been recently married for 5 years. He stays up at night watching TV then comes to bed around 3:00 A.M. He gets up before I do.
This is a very difficult subject to discuss, there are so many issues involved and being married only five years must make it very uncomfortable for him, as well as you. If you search the internet there are some excellent sites which give medical reasons for this problem. Of course, the best thing for him to do is to talk to his doctor and get a complete and thorough medical check up to see if there is an underlying medical problem. BUT, again, difficult for him because men do not like to admit that their "manhood" is going ........................
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  #2264  
Old 08-10-2013, 02:12 PM
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drooney60@hotmail.com drooney60@hotmail.com is offline
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Cool Sex Talk

I try to talk to him about it and he gets on the defensive. Granted we are getting older, but when we first met we couldn't keep our hands off each other! He has a habit of staying up late and getting up before me. I tried to talk to him about that and he got mad.
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  #2265  
Old 08-10-2013, 02:38 PM
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Barefoot Barefoot is offline
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Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com View Post
I try to talk to him about it and he gets on the defensive. Granted we are getting older, but when we first met we couldn't keep our hands off each other! He has a habit of staying up late and getting up before me. I tried to talk to him about that and he got mad.
There are doctors who specialize in this area. However I doubt most men would go willingly to talk about their lack of sex drive. I'd think that most men who go to a sex doctor are given an ultimatum by their partner. It's probably the least favorite topic for any man to discuss.

There was a movie a couple of years back, I didn't see it. I think it starred Meryl Streep. I think it was about this subject. Anyone know the movie I mean? If you rented this movie, it might get some conversation going. On the other hand, it might just really annoy your husband.

You probably have two choices: either decide you can live with the situation and be happy, or talk your husband into seeing a medical professional.
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  #2266  
Old 08-10-2013, 04:14 PM
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Schaumburger Schaumburger is offline
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Originally Posted by Barefoot View Post
There are doctors who specialize in this area. However I doubt most men would go willingly to talk about their lack of sex drive. I'd think that most men who go to a sex doctor are given an ultimatum by their partner. It's probably the least favorite topic for any man to discuss.

There was a movie a couple of years back, I didn't see it. I think it starred Meryl Streep. I think it was about this subject. Anyone know the movie I mean? If you rented this movie, it might get some conversation going. On the other hand, it might just really annoy your husband.

You probably have two choices: either decide you can live with the situation and be happy, or talk your husband into seeing a medical professional.
Bare, The movie is called "Hope Springs" -- excellent movie. Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones play a long married couple whose children are grown, and Meryl Streep wants to bring the romance back to their marriage, so they attend an intensive marriage counseling program. Steve Carrell is their marriage counselor. Rent it!
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  #2267  
Old 08-10-2013, 04:50 PM
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Girls, girls, girls! After "the change" astroglide becomes a bedside necessity. I also like KY"X". It is silicon based and lasts and lasts.
Like Jeff Foxworthy said "It will get a Cadillac into a dog house"
I'll let you think about that for a bit! ;-)
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  #2268  
Old 08-10-2013, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by lovsthosebigdogs View Post
Different people just have different levels of need. If this is a change for him maybe you could talk about it or get him to discuss the change with his doctor (men usually aren't too keen on this). If he goes to bed that late and gets up that early (before you) how does he function during the day on so little sleep? Maybe that is part of the problem. He must be exhausted.
If this is a change for him, he could have "low T". Low testosterone. It is more common than most men think. It can cause moodiness, lack of sex drive and lack of interest in other activities. Low level depression. Easily diagnosed with a blood test and easily treated with testosterone given as a body rub daily or an injection every 2 weeks.

Certainly worth checking into. It can ruin his quality of life. ( and yours!)

Last edited by dotti105; 08-11-2013 at 03:49 AM.
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Sex Problem
  #2269  
Old 08-11-2013, 10:08 AM
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Default Sex Problem

I was thinking about asking him to come back to bed in the morning and then trying to make love to him then. I also want to try and shower together and see if that works. What do you think?
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  #2270  
Old 08-11-2013, 10:42 AM
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Madelaine Amee Madelaine Amee is offline
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Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com View Post
I was thinking about asking him to come back to bed in the morning and then trying to make love to him then. I also want to try and shower together and see if that works. What do you think?
I don't know what the collective "we" think, but I will go out on a limb and tell you what I think. My life is very different from yours, been married a long time to the same guy ............. but, if I suggested to him to shower together at this stage I think he would think I had gone crazy. We were very romantic and fixated on each other in our more youthful days, but through the years that has slowly died down to a "companionship" level, and I have a gut feeling that is what is happening to your relationship. I am assuming that your five year marriage is a second for both and (in my opinion) you are not going to get the same level of youthful fervor that you would have had as young marrieds.

There are many things that affect a mans "drive" and one of the worst is if he has been through chemo or a serious illness. As the other posters on this board have told you, he needs a full and thorough medical check and until that happens there is not much more you can do. Your nervousness and attitude could also be attributing to his inability, he knows you are not satisfied with the way things are and if you are pressuring him to perform this is going to deflate his ego (and elsewhere) even more.

What about talking to your gyno and see what she thinks. I am sure a really good female doctor could help put your mind at rest much quicker than we can.

What about this - sit yourself down and assess the situation: You are no longer alone, you have a guy, most probably a great guy, you have had five great years together so far and you really want to stay with this guy until death do us part, so you might need to sort of accept the changes that are happening and make the best of a good thing.

Just my opinion ................ and I am very level headed and try to make the best of every situation.
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Last edited by Madelaine Amee; 08-11-2013 at 10:48 AM. Reason: Added a sentence
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