Men coming into our space in the supermarket

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  #31  
Old 06-26-2019, 11:33 AM
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Madelaine Amee Madelaine Amee is offline
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Originally Posted by jim1941 View Post
"Nasty looking old man".......really........how about "Inconsiderate elderly man" Don't judge all of us by the actions of one.
"Nasty looking old man Yes, he really was a nasty looking old man. Not too clean, big tall person who towered over me, and the expression on his face was really unpleasant. On reflection I am sure he was probably a very unhappy person just trying to get through his day. But, this is not the way to do it. Had he smiled and asked me if I could move forward I would have been pleased to oblige him, but DO NOT EVER shush a woman you do not know in a public place, or you pay the consequences - he will never do it again.

The reason for my annoyance is lost on the MEN who are replying here. This world has changed. This person had no reason AT ALL to talk to me, try to move me up, shush me and shoo me further down the check out line. He had half the belt to unload his items, the cashier in Aldi's is lightening fast and I was almost done when this altercation happened, and there was plenty of room for both he and I to unload. I had already placed the spacer at the end of my shopping so that he could proceed to unload. The whole point of this discussion is that he felt he was entitled to address me in such a way without even knowing me. Those days are gone, long gone and he was fortunate that I was not a young women who would have really torn him up one side and down the other.
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  #32  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee View Post
Now really, is that necessary? "OLD BAG"
Trade you one old bag for one nasty looking old man?

Seriously, The Villages is for the most part a community of seniors. Look at the parking, driving through roundabouts, autos on cart paths, left turns from right lanes and so on. People can be on behavior affecting meds, off their meds, suffering a degree of dementia, unable to hear, see, balance like younger folks. Give other seniors a break. Most of us are just trying to remain independent as long as we can.
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  #33  
Old 06-26-2019, 01:58 PM
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Just wondering if you had you dogi in the shopping cart. Just trying to figure out why he was so disrespectful to you. You sound like such a nice person
  #34  
Old 06-26-2019, 02:20 PM
Marathon Man Marathon Man is offline
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Just wondering if you had you dogi in the shopping cart. Just trying to figure out why he was so disrespectful to you. You sound like such a nice person
  #35  
Old 06-26-2019, 02:21 PM
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Just wondering if you had you dogi in the shopping cart. Just trying to figure out why he was so disrespectful to you. You sound like such a nice person
As if somehow SHE must have done something to CAUSE him to act that way. Really? Point made ladies.
  #36  
Old 06-26-2019, 02:35 PM
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The thing is if you’re in a hurry, shop at off hours.

Last edited by Velvet; 06-26-2019 at 03:46 PM.
  #37  
Old 06-26-2019, 03:53 PM
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As if somehow SHE must have done something to CAUSE him to act that way. Really? Point made ladies.
They just don't get it.
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  #38  
Old 06-26-2019, 04:50 PM
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Please provide your supporting data.
Oh, Pull-eese.
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  #39  
Old 06-26-2019, 05:32 PM
OrangeBlossomBaby OrangeBlossomBaby is offline
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Originally Posted by aninjamom View Post
It has been tested and is a fact; men assume that they have the right of way over women. If walking towards a man, a woman will find herself stepping out of the way. Very seldom is it the other way around. I have encountered this myself, a guy will practically run you over if you don't move. I was actually unconscious of this most of my life until it was pointed out! Next time you are at the square or in a store, try it and see.
You contradict yourself. In your first sentence you put the burden on the man, with his assumption of his rights over women. In the very next sentence you put the burden on the woman, who takes the action in the situation.

Perhaps if it's the man who's assuming he has the right of way, it's because women keep moving to the side whenever they approach a man. Maybe if you stop moving to the side, men will stop continuing forward as if they own the space.

I only have this "problem" when I step aside. If I don't step aside, the other person does. Someone will always step aside. Sometimes it's the man, sometimes it's the woman. And sometimes, a man will hold the door for you and say something adorable like "beauty before age."
  #40  
Old 06-26-2019, 05:50 PM
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My observation has been that we live in a time where we are seeing the behavioral result of the amygdala under assault—way too many people spending way too much time tuned in to the constant barrage of flapping mouths spewing out reasons to be enraged and fearful.

I think it has changed some people who are more susceptible for whatever reason and get caught up in all that negative emotion, hatefulness that has been so easily tapped into. Never questioning why. They scowl. They rant. They subconsciously look for ways to feel power — especially where they feel no risk from the person they go after.

Or maybe that guy has been an @$$#&*e all his life.
  #41  
Old 06-26-2019, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Boomer View Post
My observation has been that we live in a time where we are seeing the behavioral result of the amygdala under assault—way too many people spending way too much time tuned in to the constant barrage of flapping mouths spewing out reasons to be enraged and fearful.

I think it has changed some people who are more susceptible for whatever reason and get caught up in all that negative emotion, hatefulness that has been so easily tapped into. Never questioning why. They scowl. They rant. They subconsciously look for ways to feel power — especially where they feel no risk from the person they go after.

Or maybe that guy has been an @$$#&*e all his life.



  #42  
Old 06-26-2019, 07:46 PM
Boomer Boomer is offline
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Originally Posted by Jazuela View Post
Pretty much this. People are looking for reasons to feel wronged, so they can vent their righteous indignation. If everything is going fine, they can't be righteously indignant. They have nothing to be "righteous' about, so they come up with perceived slights and call them grave injustices against [insert category here].

In the case of men plowing through and women stepping aside, honestly? It's nothing new. If you're just now figuring it out, you're either 7, or you've spent your entire life privileged and are now for the first time realizing that you're no better than anyone else.

Men - GENERALLY SPEAKING have domineered since always. Why? Because they're bigger. Because they CAN. It's biology. On the other hand, if you ever see a big burly beefy confident gal being domineered by a scrawny short geeky guy, take pictures and send it to NBC, because I promise you it'll be news.

Also there is such a thing as a chivalrous man. They still exist, they've always existed, and they will always exist. Try hanging out with a few and perhaps your perception of men will change.



Of course I know that, Jazuela, I am married to one of the good guys.

My observation that you quoted was about the way things seem to be shaking out around us in the general population. Too much scowling.

My dad was a good guy, too.

I cannot imagine putting up with any other kind.


When my daughter was a teenager, she had to listen to my motherly words of wisdom about the male of the species. (I always treated her to my little talks while I was driving down the interstate at 70mph with her in the passenger seat.)

Here are a few quotes from those talks -- not actually talks -- just me talking while she rolled her eyes:

"Boomette, never forget that there is nothing more dangerous than an insecure male."

"Boomette, don't you ever settle."

"Boomette, get your education and be able to earn money on your own."

"Boomette, do not even think about some loser who is oh so misunderstood and tell yourself that he "needs" you to fix him. And I don't care how cute he is."

"Boomette, are they still using the line, "You would if you loved me"?

"Boomette, never, ever "loan" a guy money."

(Anyway, Boomette turned out just fine. I knew she was just pretending she was not listening to me.)

I am sure there were more things I said, but for now I have some paperwork that I am avoiding by writing posts on TOTV. I bet others can add to this with advice they gave to their daughters.

-- And, yes, this is the Feminine Forum. The long thread "Girl Talk" here started more than a decade ago by Barefoot. The reason it began was to allow a conversation that moved from topic to topic easily and freely like when women are together -- and as we know, we as women can follow it all with no complaints about jumping off topic. If you look at Page 1 of "Girl Talk", you will see how it was off and running from the start. (I think at the time, some of the guys tried to start their own forum but it fizzled.)


(Oh but wait! I also give advice to women who find themselves back in the dating world. "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats the server.")

Boomer

Last edited by Boomer; 06-28-2019 at 04:51 PM.
  #43  
Old 06-26-2019, 07:56 PM
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Always a pleasure, Boomer.
  #44  
Old 06-26-2019, 08:17 PM
ColdNoMore ColdNoMore is offline
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I too, told my own daughter, the same exact things Boomer instilled in "Boomette"...with the same wonderful results.

Now it's time for this guy to take his leave and let the ladies like Boomer...continue to dispense good advice.
  #45  
Old 06-26-2019, 08:20 PM
OrangeBlossomBaby OrangeBlossomBaby is offline
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Oh I realize you knew all that Boomer! I was agreeing with your post AND adding comments about other posts by other people in the thread, to support my opinion.
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