“I swear the holes down in The Villages are smaller than the rest of the country!”

"I am still a f* amateur"

Still perfecting my game. Practice round, tried something different.

Golf
 

The shot I hate the most is the FIST F#@k It's Still There

Someone in the group ahead of/behind us was talking...

:censored: :censored: :pray:

Ohiobuckeye
 

I’ve been having trouble with this club because it’s to short!

Me: "How much are your green fees for 9 holes?"

Pro: "$24.00 for 9 holes."

Me: "How much is it if I don't use the greens?"

This ball is afraid of the dark.

The time I (jokingly) tried to return some golf balls because the left handed dimples just made my slice worse.

My spouse bought me expensive new clubs..I played better with my old clubs.

Working on my handicap.

Only 9 holes I played was Executive & they were FREE. The only course I played that cost was Championship & they were $45.+ not $24.

Communism

Those Sandhill Cranes laughed during my tee off!

A few weeks ago, I accidentally hit a Crane that was standing with some others on the collar of the green (true story). It didn't seem to do any harm, but I swear they have it out for me now, they all keep watching me and talking among themselves. This makes me uneasy and adversely affects my game.