What If Family Members Want Too Much from Retirees?

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Old 09-16-2015, 10:44 PM
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Default What If Family Members Want Too Much from Retirees?

Retirees face many financial pressures, but one can hit especially close to home: family members who want too much money from their aging parents.

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Old 09-17-2015, 06:12 AM
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I get the gist of what the article wishes to emphasis and essentially agree to a point. However it depends on the surrounding circumstances.

There are ways to assist children in need and deal effectively and legally with the tax issues. Seniors can and do pass along funds by way of charitable gifts on an annual basis. Advancing inheritance in this manner transfers needed funds to children in their time of need.
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:06 AM
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spending kids inheritance..
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:36 AM
stevebotts stevebotts is offline
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I would love to know how many of us reading this post asked OUR aging parents for money.
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Old 09-17-2015, 02:43 PM
manaboutown manaboutown is offline
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Originally Posted by stevebotts View Post
I would love to know how many of us reading this post asked OUR aging parents for money.
I ended up gifting my parents money but many of today's young adults seem to have an unwarranted sense of entitlement that the world owes them a fine lifestyle even if they choose not to work for it. What truly disgusts me is that I see demands for money "or you won't see the grandchildren" or other threats from some of the adult children among several families I know well.

The well to do particularly face a conundrum; they are dam*ed if they do and dam*d if they don't.
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Old 09-17-2015, 03:58 PM
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As a friend told their kids, if, when we pass, there is any money left.....we screwed up.
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Old 09-17-2015, 06:38 PM
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If you have "more than enough", then gifting your children money to help with their education makes sense to me. What could you spend your money on that is more important? I've yet to see a Brinks truck following a hearst to the cemetery.
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by manaboutown View Post
I ended up gifting my parents money but many of today's young adults seem to have an unwarranted sense of entitlement that the world owes them a fine lifestyle even if they choose not to work for it. What truly disgusts me is that I see demands for money "or you won't see the grandchildren" or other threats from some of the adult children among several families I know well.

The well to do particularly face a conundrum; they are dam*ed if they do and dam*d if they don't.
If the children feel entitled or unreasonably demanding they probably raised to expect this when they leave the nest. If correct values are instilled as they mature the chances them aquiring this entitlement mentatlity should be minimal. Unfortunately our current government's attitude is to promote an entitlement attitude, which make the child rearing process that much more difficult.
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Old 09-17-2015, 10:16 PM
manaboutown manaboutown is offline
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Originally Posted by JGVillages View Post
If the children feel entitled or unreasonably demanding they probably raised to expect this when they leave the nest. If correct values are instilled as they mature the chances them aquiring this entitlement mentatlity should be minimal. Unfortunately our current government's attitude is to promote an entitlement attitude, which make the child rearing process that much more difficult.
The adult children I had in mind when I posted above were certainly raised well and provided with excellent role models, work ethics and morals. They simply turned out to be bad seed, got into some form of substance abuse and/or are just lazy and shiftless.
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:34 AM
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Justjim....what is "more than enough"? So many kids now spend their $$ on wants rather than needs. If the last check I write doesn't bounce, I miscalculated. If you feel you have to "buy" your kids now what makes you think they will take care of you later? They will find you an affordable nursing home and be too busy to visit. My mother is in assisted living and during the 3 to 4 days a week I visit, I see very few other visitors----sad! I NEVER asked for $$.....I did without!!
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:29 AM
GeoGeo GeoGeo is offline
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As an adult, I never asked my parents for money. I was taught to save for college at a very, very young age. So saving has been instilled in me. In fact, I bought my aging mother a freezer, etc. In my eyes it is the children's job to take care of the aging parents. Now my husband has the opposite situation. Adult son who at one time was asking for money every other week. My husband finally realized he would have no money left if he kept giving to him (plus it didn't teach the adult son to be responsible). We have a neighbor who has an adult kid who always wants money, too. Yet blows money on things he doesn't need. Kids today buy whatever they want and worry about paying for it later. I was taught to do without. Only buy it if you have the extra money for it.
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Old 09-18-2015, 09:46 AM
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Both our kids are six figure earners and haven't asked us for money in twenty years. If they ever did, I would tell them to sell some of the expensive stuff they spoil their own kids with.
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Old 10-04-2015, 08:06 AM
Miles42 Miles42 is offline
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My aging parents never had any money to give. In fact we used to supply them with some needed income. Also My children make more in wages than I ever did. So if there is a need it is due to mismanagement and poor planing. There is no way at our age we can afford to make up for their mistakes.
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