Things my parents taught me

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Old 11-23-2011, 05:34 PM
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Default Things my parents taught me

1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning."

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My Parents taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:48 PM
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Loved it. I heard 16, 17 and a variation of 22 a million times so I guess I am an expert on # 12.

25 reminds me of a friend of mine who was complaining to his father that his son doesn't go to sleep easily.

His father replied, "now you know how it feels".

As the saying goes, "what goes around comes around".
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:08 PM
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My mother taught me that an object can be in two places at once.

She could peel potatos and fat my lips for being a smart mouth and never miss a stroke with that peeler.
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:13 PM
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Don't know why but for some reason the list reminded me of something that happened back when I was in grammer school. I don't remember the exact details but it was something like this.

I was returning to school after the lunch break (yes, I could go home for lunch then) and the principle met me at the door and asked why I did something. I told her I did it because everybody else was doing it. She then asked me if everybody else jumped into the canal, (canal was right behind the school) would you do it too? I snapped back "No, I don't know how to swim!" Yes! The principle regarded me as being a wise guy/smart aleck around that time and had expressed that to my parents!

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Old 11-23-2011, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Figmo Bohica View Post
My mother taught me that an object can be in two places at once.

She could peel potatos and fat my lips for being a smart mouth and never miss a stroke with that peeler.
And now we have to worry about destroying their "psyche" geez!
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:15 PM
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My favorite was my parents telling me not to "get smart" with them....did they want me dumb with everyone or only with them?
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trish Crocker View Post
1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning."

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My Parents taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Trish!

We must have had the same parents! Funny, I don't remember seeing you around the house....
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:07 PM
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Default I gotta throw this one in here

My wonderful Mother was born in Cuba. She spoke in English, but thought in Spanish most often. She always had ready wisdom to offer, but would 'translate' it in her own way.

One day, she was trying to tell me the old adage about how "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear"
Except.... it came out this way:
"You can put a pig in a suit, but in the end, all you've got is a pig in a suit."

That's what MY Momma taught me.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:16 PM
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Uptown, your mom was right!
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uptown Girl View Post
My wonderful Mother was born in Cuba. She spoke in English, but thought in Spanish most often. She always had ready wisdom to offer, but would 'translate' it in her own way.

One day, she was trying to tell me the old adage about how "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear"
Except.... it came out this way:
"You can put a pig in a suit, but in the end, all you've got is a pig in a suit."

That's what MY Momma taught me.
AND you can't put lipstick on him.
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Old 11-24-2011, 02:46 PM
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Default Same parents?

Quote:
Originally Posted by graciegirl View Post
Trish!

We must have had the same parents! Funny, I don't remember seeing you around the house....
I was thinking this same thing! Are we all related?
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Old 11-24-2011, 10:30 PM
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Old 11-26-2011, 12:42 PM
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So much has changed since those days, and not for the better, I'm afraid...
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Old 11-28-2011, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samanthagal View Post
So much has changed since those days, and not for the better, I'm afraid...
You're so right. TV may be the only place in the world that is better.
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