Car 54...Where Are You?

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  #1  
Old 04-14-2011, 07:24 PM
ijusluvit ijusluvit is offline
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Default Car 54...Where Are You?

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were
taken from actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime
Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't..
Sign here."
  #2  
Old 04-14-2011, 09:11 PM
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Ouch on #16.

My favorite comment by an officer who pulled me over for speeding was, "Alright, sweetie, where's your NASCAR license?" After about 5 minutes of laughing, I gave it to him. His jaw dropped but I didn't get the ticket. He did keep the license as a "souvenier." (Cost about $500 to replace that license. sigh)
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  #3  
Old 04-15-2011, 03:49 AM
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Years ago I got pulled over when radar traps were on tripods.The nice officer told me I was speeding and his radar said 75 mph. I looked at him, while all these tractor trailers were speeding by and asked "does that radar track a Henway" he looks at me and asks "What's a Henway" and I replied "give or take 5 pounds" He then grunted "that'll cost you double". No sense of humor. True story......

  #4  
Old 04-15-2011, 05:35 AM
Sparky-30 Sparky-30 is offline
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Charged with "failure to do right"
  #5  
Old 04-15-2011, 08:35 AM
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No. 11 made me laugh.

My uncle made this comment when some other driver did something he considered to be stupid, "WHERE DID YO GET YOUR LICENSE, IN A CRACKERJACK BOX".
  #6  
Old 04-15-2011, 09:00 AM
Daisy Daisy is offline
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Thanks for the laugh. I really enjoyed #1. I'll have to try that on my husband who has little respect for stop signs and red lights.
  #7  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:25 AM
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Great quotes...
  #8  
Old 04-16-2011, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ijusluvit View Post
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were
taken from actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime
Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't..
Sign here."
These are funny!
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  #9  
Old 04-24-2014, 08:56 AM
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Taltarzac725 Taltarzac725 is online now
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Default A little cop humor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ijusluvit View Post
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were
taken from actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime
Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't..
Sign here."
Had not seen these for a while. Funny.
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