[REDCART]

Counseling

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'this is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.'

[REDCART]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, April, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom, Jenny: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom, Erica: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Emily, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school.”