A duck walks into a pub...

Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-12-2015, 05:00 PM
chuck90199's Avatar
chuck90199 chuck90199 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Village of Charlotte
Posts: 349
Thanks: 3
Thanked 98 Times in 30 Posts
Default A duck walks into a pub...

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says,*“Hang on! You’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you can talk!” exclaims the bartender.

“I see your ears are working too,”*Says the duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?”

“Certainly. Sorry about that,” says the bartender as he pulls the duck’s pint. “It’s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck.*“I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted bartender cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a paper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the bartender good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the bartender says to him,*“You’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the bartender says, “Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“I’m always looking for the next job,” Says the duck. “Where is it?”

“At the circus,” says the barman.

“The circus?” repeats the duck.

“That’s right,” replies the bartender.

“The circus?” the duck asks again. “With the big tent?”

“Yeah,” the bartender replies.

“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“Of course,” the bartender replies.

“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right!” says the bartender.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says, ”What in the world would they want with a plasterer?”
*
  #2  
Old 02-12-2015, 10:33 PM
mtdjed mtdjed is online now
Gold member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,377
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1,095 Times in 374 Posts
Default

Good one. But a duck that drinks that much might get "plastered".
  #3  
Old 02-12-2015, 10:49 PM
Barefoot's Avatar
Barefoot Barefoot is offline
Sage
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Winters in TV, Summers in Canada.
Posts: 17,669
Thanks: 1,694
Thanked 243 Times in 184 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck90199 View Post
a duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says,*“hang on! You’re a duck.”

“i see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“and you can talk!” exclaims the bartender.

“i see your ears are working too,”*says the duck. “now if you don’t mind, can i have my beer and my sandwich, please?”

“certainly. Sorry about that,” says the bartender as he pulls the duck’s pint. “it’s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?”

“i’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck.*“i’m a plasterer.”

the flabbergasted bartender cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a paper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the bartender good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the bartender says to him,*“you’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, i know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “get him to give me a call.”

so the next day when the duck comes into the pub the bartender says, “hey mr. Duck, i reckon i can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“i’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “where is it?”

“at the circus,” says the barman.

“the circus?” repeats the duck.

“that’s right,” replies the bartender.

“the circus?” the duck asks again. “with the big tent?”

“yeah,” the bartender replies.

“with all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“of course,” the bartender replies.

“and the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“that’s right!” says the bartender.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says, ”what in the world would they want with a plasterer?”
*
l i k e
__________________
Barefoot At Last
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Saving one dog will not change the world, but surely for that one dog, the world will change forever.
Closed Thread


You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:04 PM.