[The Great Fumar]

Dear Friends,

Many of you may not realize it, but I've been very busy over the last
year putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book.

I believe my new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips
and insider information I've gained through my years of lessons,
struggles and experiments.

I am very proud of the results, and to assist with my marketing, I am
asking friends and family to help me out. I hope you find this a
useful tool to help you enjoy your game much more while you enjoy the
great outdoors.

The cost is only $29.95. Don't wait until they're all gone !!!!

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt..

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist
from the Tee.

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker.

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.

Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger.

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap "Management".

Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 AM.

Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round.

Chapter 10 - When Does a Divot Become Classified as Sod..

Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the
Water.

Chapter 12 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care that You Birdied the 5th Hole.

Chapter 13 - Using Curse Words Creatively to Control Ball Flight.

Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome.

Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five Off the Tee.

Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponents
when you’re a 20 plus handicapper...

Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey-Three-Putt..

Chapter 18 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever.

Chapter 19 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction
Technique.

Chapter 20 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?

Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $6 a Beer From the Cart Girl and
Give Her a $4 Tip, but will balk at $4 a Beer at the 19th Hole and then
Stiff the Bartender.

Thanking you in advance for your order.

Tiger Fumar ......................

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by The Great Fumar

Dear Friends,

Many of you may not realize it, but I've been very busy over the last
year putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book.

I believe my new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips
and insider information I've gained through my years of lessons,
struggles and experiments.

I am very proud of the results, and to assist with my marketing, I am
asking friends and family to help me out. I hope you find this a
useful tool to help you enjoy your game much more while you enjoy the
great outdoors.

The cost is only $29.95. Don't wait until they're all gone !!!!


Table of Contents:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt..

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist
from the Tee.

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker.

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.

Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger.

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap "Management".

Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 AM.

Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round.

Chapter 10 - When Does a Divot Become Classified as Sod..

Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the
Water.

Chapter 12 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care that You Birdied the 5th Hole.

Chapter 13 - Using Curse Words Creatively to Control Ball Flight.

Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome.

Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five Off the Tee.

Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponents
when you’re a 20 plus handicapper...

Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey-Three-Putt..

Chapter 18 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever.

Chapter 19 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction
Technique.

Chapter 20 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?

Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $6 a Beer From the Cart Girl and
Give Her a $4 Tip, but will balk at $4 a Beer at the 19th Hole and then
Stiff the Bartender.

Thanking you in advance for your order.

Tiger Fumar ......................

Sigh. Another danged ENGLISH MAJOR.

Is there cussing in it??? OOOPS, THERE IS...THE 13th chapter!!! It is the only way I can play eighteen! I'll take two.

[champion6]

Sure to be on the Best Seller list!

[bkcunningham1]

In what chapter is the topic found about adjusting your headlights to play the final two holes? Did you talk about the proper use of the foot wedge? Also, I guess Chapter 5, How to Give the Ranger the Finger, addresses errant golf ball liability?

[memason]

OMG.... I've been laughing for 30 minutes! The unfortunate part is, I can identify with every one of the chapter titles...

Let me know when you go to press!

[mulligan]

R U available for seminars or speaking engagements??

[BaylorBear]

I haven't laughed so hard in years!! GF, how do I get my copy??

[pooh]

You're amazing...LOLOLOL....the chapters are hysterical! The book will also make a wonderful gift for Christmas. Time for an infomercial?....

[Halle]

Fumar,

So handsome and witty, too bad you don't like dogs.

Your friend,

Halle

What is a rider?


Four old guys went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.

The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"

The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."

The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."

The third old guy said, "I had 7 riders, the same as last time."

The last old man said, I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old
guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I have been
playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the
game, but what's a rider?" The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball
far enough to get in the golf cart and ride to your ball."

[The Great Fumar]

Originally Posted by Halle

Fumar,

So handsome and witty, too bad you don't like dogs.

Your friend,

Halle

HA HA OK, Your leader dog is exempt.......

Fume

[eweissenbach]

Jesus and Moses are playing the par 3, 166 yard 14th, all carry over water, at heavenly hills GC

Jesus pulls out a 7 iron and gets ready to hit

Moses: Hey, you can't hit this green with a 7 iron, you need to hit a 6:

Jesus: No, I was talking to Bobby Jones and he assured me that this is a seven. --- hits the ball, and it goes into the water about 10 yards short of the gree.

Moses: Okay I'll get it - and parts the water, walks to the ball, and brings it back to the tee for Jesus.

Jesus tees up again and gets ready to hit the 7 iron

Moses: Okay I told you you can't hit the green with a 7

Jesus: Nah, I hit that one fat, besides Bobby Jones said I should hit a 7 iron.

Moses: Okay but if it goes in the lake I'm not parting the water this time.

Jesus hits the ball - plop! into the pond 5 yards short of the green.

Moses: I told you - I'm not getting it

Jesus shrugs and walks out on the lake peering down trough the water to find his ball just as the group behind them approach the tee box.

Guy in the new group to Moses: Hey who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?






Moses: No he thinks he's Bobby Jones.

[sschuler1]

Two old guys get up to the tee box, and the first guy says "I have been having a lot of trouble seeing my ball land, my eyesight isn't so good anymore." The second guy says "I'll watch it for you, my eyesight is fine." So the first guy hits his drive and says to other guy "Did you see it land?" "Yep" says the second guy. "So where is it?" says the first guy. And the second guy says "I don't know, I forget!"

[uujudy]

Hahahahaha! You guys are hilarious!
Thanks for the laughs!

[bobbya]

Fumar,

I eagerly await my royalty check. You've obviously been watching me play.