[REDCART]

A Brooklyn Girl

---Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given
their new wives duties.


---The first man had married a woman from Illinois, and he told her
that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a
couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean
house and dishes washed and put away.


---The second man had married a woman from Michigan . He gave his
wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the
cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he
saw it was better.. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the
dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.


---The third man had married a beautiful girl from Brooklyn, New
York . He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean,
dishes washed, laundry done, and hot meals on the table for every
meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't
see anything, but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone
down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix
himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

[Shirleevee]

.....attested to by this girl from Brooklyn! lololol

[REDCART]

Thought original joke was a perfect segue...

A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks,

"Will I be acquitted?"