"rough" is not a thing in the rule book either if that is what is setting your lexicon.

I think if you want to bond more you should use more slang and make your slang the more creative. I am tired of calling bunkers "the beach" and the green the "dance floor" , the fairway "main street" and my draw a "hooker". What are other suggestions?

The only real "trap" in golf is the furrowed bunkers at Oakmont country club in Pittsburgh... Truly mean.

In 99.9% of the cases, the "deviation" is by design.

Any other deviation is do to wind.

Golf balls, clubs, machines & equipment, are not the same as in your youth.

slang is good
 

A mother in Law- a putt that gets nothing but lip

A lemme- a putt near a gimme thats not conceded, lemme see you make it

A Sandy- up and out of bunker and a one putt

An Angus- a cup that was set at an angle, side of hill, uneven surface

A pukie- hungover guy throws up on a hole and still makes par

A noonan- a pressure putt

Closely Mown area- fairway height or less, used for preferred lies

:icon_hungry:

Tough
 

Tough to get old and low tech, but, the physics and geometry of the golf swing remain the same....thankfully

Swing hard incase you hit it.

Shoot and holler $#!£

Not good golf etiquette to lose a dirty ball.

In my Circles we call the lip outs that you call Mother in laws, "Monica's" ---all lip and no hole, although that is kind of crude and not everyone stoops that low.

Putts that go straight in are then "Wilt Chamberlains" ------ dead center.

You have to make par from the bunker for it to be a Sandy. But that is not particularly creative, just kind of standard.

Hard pulls to the left are "Thurmon Munsons"... A "Dead Yank"...

When you significantly out-drive someone, it's a "Roy Orbison"... "Blew by You"...

What's a Rock Hudson Putt? Looks straight, but you know it's not.

What's huge pull to the left or right? Joe DiMaggio or Thurman Munson .... dead Yanks.

What do say to your partner, when you drive 30 yards beyond him? That's a Llnda Ronstadt. Blue Bayou.

What do say when your opponent hits in the deep rough, during the summer? "You're in the love grass". Why? He's F&&&K'd

What's the proper thing to say, when your opponent has a 2' to win the Match? "Take your time with that, hit it close".

What's a Kate Moss? Thin, but it'll work.

What do say, when you've been just shaving the hole all day? "I"m playing like a Gynecology Assistant"

What's a Condom shot? Doesn't feel great, but the shot works out ok.

What's an OJ Simpson putt? "Stabbed at it, but go away with it".

What's a lousy pitch shot, you catch fat? A Rosie O'Donnell ... fat & ugly

What do you say when your opponent hits the putt 10' beyond the cup and 10' off line? "Geez, how did that not go in" ?

What do you call a putt that stops at the lip? - A Cuban- needs one more revolution

What do you call a fruitless search for a lost ball? - A Dusty Springfield - Wishing and Hoping

Whatever you call it I don't want to be in it!

Hmmmmm
 

I draw is different than a hook
A slice is different than a fade
Don’t try to copy a pro ? Who better to emulate, some guy ho can’t break 90 ?

Emulate Yourself
 

You have neither the mind or body to emulate a tour player.......get a lesson and find out what YOUR secrets to the golf swing are..........BUT, if you want you can dress like them if it makes you feel better :thumbup:

And I thought it meant little old floppy thing. Bugger.🤔

I remember the first time I was about to break 100. I was so excited. Dad told me to take a deep breath and exhale slowly. My final putt! My stroke was perfect. The strength was perfect. The ball rolled up the slight incline. The clown closed his mouth and my ball went down the shute back to the rubber mat.
The game hates me. But I am drawn like a moth to a flame.