Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
#16
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Is that why you moved from Barrow...to The Villages?
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#17
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Not true. They ask them to stand up straight, don't move your feet, and then ask what color shoes they are wearing.
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Life is to short to drink cheap wine. |
#18
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I guess (not to be sexist) this applies to fat guys applying to be a Greenskeeper too.
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I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order - AS THEY SHOULD BE. "Yesterday Belongs to History, Tomorrow Belongs to God, Today Belongs to Me" |
#19
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What kind of homes do Irish Villagers prefer?
Patty O'Villas |
#20
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A blond city girl named Amy marries a Wisconsin farmer.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the farmer says to her, 'The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?' The farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.' The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know. How would you know this is the right cow to be bred?' 'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?' Amy turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder...... 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.' |
#21
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Now... that's funny.
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#22
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A lawyer joke.
One day a guy found a genie lamp and rubbed and POOF!, the genie popped out. The genie said that he would give the guy three wishes but that he was a lawyer’s genie and whatever he got every lawyer got double.
First, he wished for 10 million dollars POOF! he has ten million dollars but every lawyer in the world gets 20 million! Second, he wishes little world peace POOF! he has it. Every lawyer in the world gets...Utopia! Third and last, he wished to donate a kidney....so every lawyer in the world had to donate both of their kidneys! |
#23
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I think this joke was written...by a Villager.
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient; he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest. “Oh, I don’t care” said the waiter with a smile, “We don’t even have an air conditioner!” |
#24
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So Bad, It's Funny!
Quote:
It could qualify for the groaner of the week!
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If the broom fits, ride it! |
#25
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Quote:
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It's harder to hate close up. |
#26
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Spaghetti
A man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child... If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write ' Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payment to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.' Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.
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It's harder to hate close up. |
#27
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Quote:
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#28
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Excellent. Thanks.
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#29
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CFrance, you retain the crown.
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#30
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What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything. |
Closed Thread |
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