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  #421  
Old 03-22-2020, 02:56 PM
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  #422  
Old 03-22-2020, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdNoMore View Post
I felt her pain. 😉
  #423  
Old 03-22-2020, 08:16 PM
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So true.
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  #424  
Old 03-24-2020, 10:33 AM
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Fer sure.
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  #425  
Old 03-24-2020, 01:47 PM
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At times like these, a little humor...is much appreciated.
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  #426  
Old 03-28-2020, 10:19 AM
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  #427  
Old 04-01-2020, 09:33 AM
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The Villages Florida
  #428  
Old 04-26-2020, 10:18 AM
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A young guy from North Carolina moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Carolina."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Carolina, but you're not in the mountains anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing
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  #429  
Old 04-26-2020, 10:34 AM
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I love it.
  #430  
Old 04-27-2020, 09:07 PM
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Some people have accused me of using too many contractions, but...


It's what it's.



.
  #431  
Old 04-28-2020, 07:24 AM
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Well, I thought it was cute
  #432  
Old 05-21-2020, 06:29 PM
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Ina Nicosia-Schelker warns... Watch out ladies!! You have been warned! - YouTube
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  #433  
Old 05-21-2020, 07:22 PM
Decadeofdave Decadeofdave is offline
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A blonde is driving in the country and sees a blonde in a rowboat in a corn field, rowing. She looks at her husband in the passenger seat and says, that woman in that rowboat gives all blonds a bad reputation. If I could swim I would go out there and kick her ass.
  #434  
Old 05-21-2020, 07:35 PM
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  #435  
Old 08-22-2020, 10:25 AM
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Two engineers were standing under a flagpole when a woman walked by and asked what they were doing. They said that they needed to measure the height of the pole, but they didn't have a ladder. The woman took a wrench from her purse and removed the nuts at the bottom of the pole and laid it down on the ground. Then, she took out a tape measure, measured the pole, and told them it was 29 feet, 8 inches. After she left, one engineer said to other, "a lot of good that will do us, she gave us the length, but we need the height".
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