:1rotfl::ho:

I was watching a movie in the kitchen, when in walked my husband. He just came back from a camping trip in the Everglades. I noticed he had lipstick on his cheek. I confronted him and of course he denied any hanky panky. He claimed he just had dinner with his mother. His mother doesn't wear lipstick! What a dog...I called my lawyer in the morning.

:eclipsee_gold_cup::BigApplause::BigApplause::BigApplause:

So my dog would not pee on people's grass in the Villages, I took him to the local dog park at Doggie Doo Run Run. There I had solved two problems: getting him off the couch and away from the grouchy neighbor who might hit him with her ukelele if he peed any more on her grass or dug up her sod.

Here in The Villages, I was sitting on the couch on my lanai. I was watching the lawn boy cut the grass and I began day-dreaming that he was serenading me on his ukelele, singing "Close To You" by the Carpenters. All of a sudden, the lawn mower stopped and he was gone -poof! Boy...was I grouchy!

As my one neighbor began singing about The Villages People and strumming on his ukelele, the grouchy neighbor on the other side of me stomped through the grass to stop him. I had a great time sitting on my couch and watching the fireworks.

Going for all ten.
 

The elk head sat above the mantle over the couch near the kitchen. It had been lured there by the sound of a ukelele played by a prominent but grouchy Villages' leader who shot him with his bow, then had him stuffed and mounted. Unfortunately, he could not transport his trophy to show Villages' people because his lawyer had been strung out on grass from a previous trip with his dog to the everglade while defending him from poaching charges in Montana. The Villages had to be content with movie of the elk's head.

New 5 words.
 

snowplow
football
lake
alligator
rocker

I am sitting at home as I watch the snow fall waiting for the snowplow to clean my condo driveway. I'd rather be in the villages sitting in a rocker overlooking a lake and watch alligators swim by.

We had to use what looked like a snowplow last night to clean up the monkey squirrel and alligator poop before we could play flag football by the lake near Arnold Palmer CC here in the Villages. We all needed rockers when we were done.

The football slammed into the rocker like an alligator jumping into a lake after a duck. You would have thought that the musician had been hit with a snowplow from the fall she took from the thrown ball.