Ponderisms

» Site Navigation
Home Page The Villages Maps The Villages Activities The Villages Clubs The Villages Book Healthcare Rentals Real Estate Section Classified Section The Villages Directory Home Improvement Site Guidelines Advertising Info Register Now Video Tutorials Frequently Asked Questions
» Newsletter Signup
» Premium Tower
» Advertisements
» Trending News
» Tower Sponsors




















» Premium Sponsors
» Banner Sponsors
» Advertisements
Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 01-27-2011, 01:15 PM
laryb's Avatar
laryb laryb is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Buttonwood, formerly Dartmouth, Ma
Posts: 770
Thanks: 15
Thanked 53 Times in 18 Posts
Default Ponderisms

-PONDERISMS

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Evian spelled backwards is: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK..... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?


5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, dry cleaners depressed and prostitutes delayed?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

12. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

14. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!

19. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

20. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

21. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

22. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
__________________
"I ain't as good as I once was,
But I'm as good once as I ever was!" Toby Keith
  #2  
Old 01-28-2011, 10:24 AM
LI SNOWBIRD's Avatar
LI SNOWBIRD LI SNOWBIRD is offline
Gold member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,156
Thanks: 1
Thanked 51 Times in 33 Posts
Default Funny!

Quote:
Originally Posted by laryb View Post
-PONDERISMS

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Evian spelled backwards is: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK..... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?


5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, dry cleaners depressed and prostitutes delayed?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

12. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

14. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!

19. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

20. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

21. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

22. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
Haha-- very funny.Thanks
__________________
LI SNOWBIRD LI, Tall Trees
"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."
Plato
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:49 AM.