[diskman]

Think before you speak!!!!

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.....


FIRST TESTIMONY:


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men’s balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:


My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :


While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had
not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No" .. I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled



"SEE MOM, IT 'S JUST FARTS!!"



While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't. She turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Now, didn't that feel good?

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!!!

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by diskman

Think before you speak!!!!

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.....


FIRST TESTIMONY:


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men’s balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:


My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :


While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had
not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No" .. I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled



"SEE MOM, IT 'S JUST FARTS!!"



While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't. She turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Now, didn't that feel good?

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!!!

Oh how funny. It is so lovely to laugh so hard. Thank you. You have a terrific sense of humor. Please move to my street!!

[diskman]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Oh how funny. It is so lovely to laugh so hard. Thank you. You have a terrific sense of humor. Please move to my street!!

35 months to go! We love people with a sense of humor!

[tudacee]

You made me laugh more than once with these stories...thanks, I needed that...

Have seen these before but glad to see them again.