Coming from you, BK, that's NOTHING but special. I'll take it! ;)

Today is Wednesday, December 5th, a special day in my family of origin. It would have been my father's 86th birthday. Sure do miss you, Dad.

NOTHING but sorry Mrs. Abby. Today is Wednesday, December 5th, 2018. I'll be your tour guide for a little while and my name is Bruce, Bruce Wayne. I want to know why the Bat Pole is so sticky? Robin?

Anniversaries are tough even after years have passed. Sometimes memories are so sweet it thrills me when they are triggered at the most innocent times. Seems to be happening a whole lot lately.

How did Pop-Eye get his Thingamagiggy greasy?

He kept putting it in Olive Oil! :1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

See yous later.

Wow 4 pages of NOTHING to catch up on. Here is my NOTHING joke.

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them.
The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Helloooo,........... just because I'm a Senior Citizen doesn't mean that I am automatically mentally challenged.
So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year.... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year....
Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

Ding Ding Ding, Winner Winner NOTHING but a Healthy Dinner. #1 as of the first round! :ohdear:

We are now up to 198, 212 views as of 8:30 AM EST 12/05/2018.

Fairly busy day on NOTHING yesterday.:bigbow::popcorn:

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but NOTHING pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”


:popcorn::clap2:

NOTHING but a good one, fw. :clap2:

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? NOTHING, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

:1rotfl::1rotfl: Good one Tal. A NOTHING Christmas joke.

:1rotfl::1rotfl: and a NOTHING joke

I think we are officially NOTHING but cross threading now.

Wow, Tal, you're on a wave, I mean a roll there! :clap2:

I have NOTHING to add to this discussion. Heck, I'm lucky I can remember what day it is let alone remember a joke to tell. But I am proud to announce that I don't need interpretation for any of them........yet. Not even Squidly's who had me laughing so hard i woke my husband up last night, then had him laughing too - lol.

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

NOTHING, it just let out a little wine.

All these jokes and not one person forgot their NOTHING'S yet!

I figured we could use a little Jocularity today. If I still lived up North,

Yuck, NOTHING and I do mean NOTHING could have kept me from attending the activity in the Capital.

I know how you feel. My dad was NOTHING but my best friend. My mentor. My hero. The greatest thing they gave us are the wonderful memories that will be with us forever..

How was that for my first post of the day? lol

Wow - nothing but so sweet and sentimental. Almost brought a tear to my eye. Thanks for the lovely post.

I can NOTHING but hear Abby bawling from here.

Yep, you're right and that's only a part of the reason. Really needed the laughs last night (thanks, Squidly) because I got some bad news yesterday, then just remembering my Dad's b-day among other things is making for NOTHING but a not so good day. It makes me extra sad because here I am in the best place on earth at the moment yet I'm struggling to find joy today. Maybe a nap is NOTHING but in order.......not getting much sleep and being tired doesn't help either.

Thank you guys for just being you. I've said it before - you're NOTHING but the best.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels NOTHING. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels NOTHING. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt NOTHING so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

I'm so sorry and will remember you in my prayers today that whatever troubles you will nothing but pass quickly with a good result.

Abby so sorry to hear this. Whatever it is I hope it NOTHING but passes quickly. Thoughts and prayers for you. :pray:

Is it too early to start with the Christmas music? NOTHING else to do today while Mrs. K decorates the tree..

[Official Video] Little Drummer Boy - Pentatonix - YouTube

You do realize that anyone who clicks on this link loses The Little Drummer Boy challenge? I NOTHING but love Pentatonix and didn't take the challenge.

It was NOTHING but a set up.. :1rotfl:

I just remembered I was in that challenge before I clicked it. I get a HUGE number of e-mails and never click on any of them unless I see NOTHING suspicious about them. And even then once in a while something gets through my defenses. I have to take a day just deleting thousands of e-mails once in a while.

Went through a few hundred Suggested Sites on Facebook showing a lot of attractive women but I noticed that about ten stock photos of models show up very often within these pictures and sometimes a very different woman is shown in the corner of these first look Facebook pages before you click LIKE.

:1rotfl: Do Yous know what the Pope is saying when he is making NOTHING but the sign of the Cross when he is upstairs outside in the Basilica? :1rotfl:

All of you Italians get off the lawn! It works better in person.

We just made an offer on Constipation Way! Waiting for the results with bated breath! :1rotfl:

Good move you don't want to hold back and lose out. Not sure I'd want to tell people where I live though, maybe you could just give them some coordinates. NOTHING but fingers crossed.

Casadiche? What's going on here, no happiness is that what I heard? In The Villages? I'm not sure that is allowed?? I have to check the rules??? We are an unusaul couple, Geographical Cures don't work somtines. U has 2 work Berry, Berry hardly to be sad ober here!

We wishing mucho peace 4 our berry nicely friends who are down in the dumplies. I'm writing like this because today I saw NOBOBDY AND NOTHING less than BIGPOPPA or BIGDADDY or whateber he name it were. What a nicely guy. He say's below to evebry 1 wooo was nice to he.

See you guys tomorrow, I'm wasted tired. Peace out. Tal your doing A #1 on the jokes just don't burn out to quick.

If you lived NOTHING but down there you could have EVERYBODY over all at once.

We found the one, made the offer and now we wait. Lets the games begin! Yee Hah! :pray:

History tells me if it don't work out to good onto the next, there is a better one waiting. We shall see. :blahblahblah:

I need to find my Nucky NOTHING decoder ring.. :1rotfl:

We had an old friend who had a bad problem which has been in remisssion for about a year. I NOTHING but haven't seen him in a long tine. He was a lightweight drinker always looking for a good pour and when he found it he couldn't handle it. He is NOTHING but sober and being a goodly husband and father. I'm proud of he.

I think you are going to have to NOTHING but share

I NOTHING but helping u anytine except now. I go sleeptine quick! Glad U bad. Watch & help Mrs. ABBY 4 me/us.

Oh how exciting :a040:. I am nothing if not overjoyed for you both. Now, none of that Jerky Jersey or Baffling Brooklyn real estate business.

Here's to what will be a quick and painless Villages closing.

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !!!

Wife: Whatcha doing?
Me: NOTHING.
Wife: You did that yesterday.
Me: I wasn't finished.



Read more on page: Doing Nothing | Jokes of the day (56607) :boom:

Good one. I am never done doing NOTHING

12/06/2018 8:36 AM comes in with 198, 882 views. :bigbow:

We are approaching 200,000 quite quickly. Sad to see a encroachment on Three Word Sentences thread but those people seemed to have abandoned that ship so to speak.

Norman: What do you call a piece of wood with NOTHING to do?
Josephine: What?
Norman: “Bored!”

Another funny NOTHING joke but we are hijacking another thread.

The joke thread, I suppose? Ran into this while trying to avoid the Little Drummer Boy and not for NOTHING.

Cydel Gabutero - "The Power of love" (Cover) - YouTube

Watching a very young girl singing this particular song does seem a bit creepy.