Talk of The Villages Florida - Joy, Bliss, Happiness people, you got it wrong

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Gracie, my favorite mantra: Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villages PL (Post 551484)

According to "The Longevity Project", a study that started in 1922 and kept going until recently, optimism and/or happiness is not the secret to good health and longevity. Not that happiness isn't important, but happy cheerful children were more likely to live shorter lives than those who were more serious or "sober".

You can find out more by reading the book, "The Longevity Project". Chapter 4: "Happiness and Health? A Cheery Conundrum"

:)

Well, the opposite of happiness and joy would be unhappiness, negativity and depression.....or fear of death and dying perhaps?

(The following article was posted in the "Meditations" column of the Hindustan Times, one of India's largest English language daily newspapers, on 4 June 2003.)

"`HOW ARE you?' 'Fine, thanks'. (Translation: 'Nothing horrible has happened to me today', or 'I feel dreadful but who wants to know'?)

Soren Kirkegaard said that people lead lives of 'quiet desperation'. This existential thinking indicates that happiness is only skin deep, and fun is but a passing frisson -- a glimmer, a shiver, an instant high, and that our real situation is one of ongoing anguish.

As soon as a tooth is fixed, a computer glitch repaired, a disease cured, we feel ecstatic.

But surely there is a pleasure that is more than the absence of pain.

Eyes are the index of the mind or windows to the soul, then we can see from each person's face, the state of his or her consciousness. Look around. What do you see?

Against today's marketeering push for instant everything from transportation to breakfast cereal, the Gita proposes a different kind of happiness , more to do with contentedness and satisfaction, instead of the excitement generated by drugs, sex, dancing, racing, gaming, sports and romance. All these have a beginning and an end. Transcendental happiness, subtler but deeper and permanent, doesn't depend on external stimuli.

Ancient wisdom holds that such happiness is an inner part of us. Some neuro-scientists call it 'the God spot' in the human brain - yet to artificially activate it leads only to temporary intoxication.

This 'inner happiness' is regarded by some as a hallucination or self-absorbed escapism .

On the other hand, aspiring transcendentalists think that rationalism or the mechanistic-reductionist vision is an exclusively earthbound creation.

In spite of the many scientific and technological advances that have enlarged our range of creature comforts, upward consumer mobility adds unlimited desires and supplies endless choice, where formerly there was only a basic hierarchy of needs and a few simple choices. 'Progress' is often regarded as iffy.

Dying is something we have to experience although its exact nature is generally unknown. But in that brief sleep, our future is determined.
Living is a preparation for death. In his song, The Art of Dying, ex-Beatle, George Harrison implies rightly that one's daily meditation for the future need not seal us from reality, or make us musty and morbid. It's intelligent preparation for blue skies beyond."

p.s.
As far as "happy cheerful children more likely to live shorter lives than those who were more serious or sober", my mom always claimed that "Only the good die young"......and not the Billy Joel song either.

There are a lot of youthful untimely deaths in the news.......why?
Who knows? She also said, "When your number is up, it's up".
We are here on planet earth for a visit.......no one knows how long any of us will stay.........no matter what we do or do not do, eat or do not eat.........but better to try to be cheerful than gloomy, right???

People who are obsessed with worrying about their health and / or extending their lives are fearful of death and dying to a greater degree than the average folks. Just enjoy each day you have....and count your blessings.

Low serotonin and depression.

Serotonin and Depression: 9 Questions and Answers

Simple cure for manufacture of Serotonin in our bodies is eating chicken, turkey and beans, and other food items that contain high levels of tryptophan, but as we age that may not be enough. Medication may be needed. Serotonin levels appear to drop as we age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by senior citizen (Post 551808)

[I]

Soren Kirkegaard said that people lead lives of 'quiet desperation'.

Senior Citizen, I'm not trying to cause you any unhappiness, but it was actually (my fave) Henry David Thoreau who wrote: "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."

Judy the happy singer :kiss:

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 551749)

The post about having to experience sorrow in order to fully appreciate joy really is so true. There are so many of us, I would say most of us seniors,who have had terrible, awful, overwhelming sorrow in our lives and some more than once.

When that happens, and time passes enough to heal the worst of it, we realize that we have an option to look for good times and to try to find joy and laughter again and when we do find it we realize that our emotional health is restored, although we won't forget the sad and bad things that happened.

Since we have felt pain and sadness, our compassion for others and our understanding of others has increased. We realize that a long life is not granted to all and that we need to use the life we have to live sweetly and find as much joy and laughter as we can. Each day we must give ourselves the right to be happy and to spread happiness to others if we can. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

GG, This is a beautiful post and so very true. At this stage in our lives, most of us have experienced overwhelming grief and pain. Overcoming life's adversities and sadness makes us all stronger and more appreciative. Living life sweetly and finding joy and laughter and serenity is a daily goal. Volunteering and helping others makes life sweet. Every day should be lived with joy and bliss if possible.

A long life is not promised to any of us. No-one can dictate to us how happy we are. We each choose that for ourselves. Live long and prosper.

Quote:

Originally Posted by uujudy (Post 551823)

Thanks Judy.....the newspaper obviously confused the two.
Appreciate your feedback.

Thoughts on Desperation …

On March 27, 2005, in Quotes, by Cyndi Greening

It’s hard to take the idea of desperation seriously when we live in the richest country in the world. I go to bed every night and rest on a comfortable, soft mattress. I have plenty of good food, kind neighbors and inspiring colleagues. As I look at the photos of Iraq, Afghanistan and Bandeh Aceh, I think Thurber and Kierkegaard minimize it best.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862)
U.S. Author in “Walden”, 1854
“Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.”
James Thurber (1894 – 1961)
U.S. Author
“Nowadays not even a suicide kills himself in desperation. Before taking the step he deliberates so long and so carefully that he literally chokes with thought. It is even questionable whether he ought to be called a suicide, since it is really thought which takes his life. He does not die with deliberation but FROM deliberation.”
Soren Kierkegaard (1813 – 1855)
Danish philosopher
“A dog in desperation will leap over a wall.”
Chinese proverb
“There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea, and I no longer wonder at the cruelty of pirates.”
James Russell Lowell (1819 – 1891)
U.S. poet, editor

New research: Smiling may lower your heart rate (in a good way).
Smiling may lower your heart rate - Health - Men's health - NBCNews.com

Happiness Tied To Longer Life, Study Finds
Happiness tied to longer life

Happiness tied to good heart health - KYTX CBS 19 Tyler Longview News Weather Sports
Happiness tied to good heart health

Del Webb Active Adult Retirement Communities | News Story Story
positive thinking tied to longevity

Personality Genes Tied To Lifespan, Study Suggests
happy personalities tied to longevity

Quote:

Originally Posted by quirky3 (Post 551861)

Thanks Quirky. :clap2: How could "joy, bliss and happiness" possibly be a bad thing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 551749)

The post about having to experience sorrow in order to fully appreciate joy really is so true.

There are so many of us, I would say most of us seniors,who have had terrible, awful, overwhelming sorrow in our lives and some more than once.

When that happens, and time passes enough to heal the worst of it, we realize that we have an option to look for good times and to try to find joy and laughter again and when we do find it we realize that our emotional health is restored, although we won't forget the sad and bad things that happened.

Since we have felt pain and sadness, our compassion for others and our understanding of others has increased.

We realize that a long life is not granted to all and that we need to use the life we have to live sweetly and find as much joy and laughter as we can. Each day we must give ourselves the right to be happy and to spread happiness to others if we can. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

:bigbow:

VPL, I think you need to get out and interact with real people more, you'll find that joy, etc... is real. IMHO people who are constantly reading about health, food, medications, etc... do not have time to experience the real joys that are available to us all in real life. You said you tried a class or two and they were to advanced, bet you didn't talk to anyone in the classes, everyone is willing to help you learn......but you need to get out there and put forth a little effort, be willing to eat in a restuarant with a group, etc...I am starting to feel sorry for you and the life that you lead as portrayed in your posts and believe it or not I do worry about you, but you seem unreachable or unwilling to meet others and their views halfway. Everything does have to be argumentative and controversal, let loose a little.

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 551749)

The post about having to experience sorrow in order to fully appreciate joy really is so true.

There are so many of us, I would say most of us seniors,who have had terrible, awful, overwhelming sorrow in our lives and some more than once.

When that happens, and time passes enough to heal the worst of it, we realize that we have an option to look for good times and to try to find joy and laughter again and when we do find it we realize that our emotional health is restored, although we won't forget the sad and bad things that happened.

Since we have felt pain and sadness, our compassion for others and our understanding of others has increased.

We realize that a long life is not granted to all and that we need to use the life we have to live sweetly and find as much joy and laughter as we can. Each day we must give ourselves the right to be happy and to spread happiness to others if we can. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

Excellent, thoughtful and heartfelt post. :bigbow: :bigbow: :bigbow:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefoot (Post 552042)

Thanks Quirky. :clap2: How could "joy, bliss and happiness" possibly be a bad thing!

Finally, someone got curious enough to ask a good question. Thanks!

Here are some highlights from chapter 4 of "The Longevity Project". This is a summary of the first 4 1/2 pages (in my own words) and should answer your question.

The study found that healthy people are happy but happy people do not always enjoy good health. It sort of suggests an answer to the following question: Does good health cause a person to be happy or does happiness cause a person to be healthy?

It's not black or white; it's some of both. People who are characterized by exceptional happiness or cheerfulness have certain advantages (think immune system etc..) but there are also disadvantages. The study found the disadvantages to outweigh the advantages.

The following are some of the disadvantages, some of which carry more weight than others:

Suicide/accident/homicide (not big factors)

Smoking

Drinking

Dangerous activities

Risky hobbies

Overall: A happy carefree disregard for health

:wave:

I am confused. Happy and carefree do not translate to self destructive. Eg. Suicide. What happy person wants to commit suicide? I get they might think drinking and smoking are fun, and dangerous and risky activities/hobbies will not be dangerous for THEM not considering consequences. But suicide? You lose me on that one. I never met a happy person who was carefree about life that thought suicide was attractive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shcisamax (Post 552279)

I totally expected to get this question about suicide. It's not at all straight forward as to why a generally happy person would want to commit suicide. I read this book when it first came out over a year ago. So I'm at a disadvantage; I don't remember every detail. I seem to remember a story in the book somewhere about someone who commited suicide. If I'm lucky I might be able to find it.

As I suggested, everything is not completely black or white. Happy people can and do suffer setbacks like illness, financial losses, loss of a loved one etc.. Some can overcome these setbacks and some can't. But, as I said, suicide was not one of the big factors. There were perhaps a few suicides and slightly more were among those who were judged to be generally happy people. I don't remember how many suicides there were.

The only way I can relate to it is by a friend I had several decades ago. He was a very happy-go-lucky type person. He had a "bubbly" up-beat personality. He fit the description of having a "happy carefree disregard for health."
He was self-indulgent(?) and gained a lot of weight. So he started taking prescription diet pills that he got from his doctor/brother. He became addicted, discouraged by some setbacks, and wanted to commit suicide. I was with him when he put the barrel of a gun in his mouth. I managed to talk him out of it but it was a close call. That's an example of how a generally happy person can become suicidal.

Maybe what is being defined as carefree is really not carefree and a happy disposition but more of a person who is simply not really a "thoughtful" person... Someone who goes through life without thinking things through , or evading things, does not really equate to being a happy person. A happy person is a full person, filled with both sorrow and joy, but arrives at the optimistic edge rather than the burdened edge. What the description above appears to be person who is not carefree but evading reality on some level. That may be the flaw in the argument. Not sure if I have fully explained my point. Hopefully someone understands and can expound.