Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Time to go back home.. (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/time-go-back-home-246054/)

samhass 09-04-2017 03:21 PM

Time to go back home..
 
My neighbor and I sat on her lanai reminiscing about home. We had a nice bottle of wine and spoke of all we missed. The upshot of this? Two homes, side by side, right on Lake Sumter are up for sale. We will miss one another when these houses are sold, but Va and Pa are close.
My husband passed away in late June,another reason to go back to my woods. Time flies so quickly here, and it has been a great eleven years, but suddenly, I am older and long for the comfort of my family. Do you ever feel this way?

manaboutown 09-04-2017 03:30 PM

I am sorry to hear of your husband's passing and know you are facing a tough decision. I hope and pray you make the right one for yourself.

Taltarzac725 09-04-2017 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samhass (Post 1443402)
My neighbor and I sat on her lanai reminiscing about home. We had a nice bottle of wine and spoke of all we missed. The upshot of this? Two homes, side by side, right on Lake Sumter are up for sale. We will miss one another when these houses are sold, but Va and Pa are close.
My husband passed away in late June,another reason to go back to my woods. Time flies so quickly here, and it has been a great eleven years, but suddenly, I am older and long for the comfort of my family. Do you ever feel this way?

The comfort of family will also probably take me away from the Villages at some point. I really like your posts Samhass what there are of them and remember meeting you at some of the Crisper's meetings. Las Vegas and Reno, Nevada nor Northern CA are not that attractive places for me anymore but I could wind up in Northern VA or St Petersburg, FL. Or maybe somewhere new with people I feel like are family.

We have been here in the Villages 12 years as of June 2017. 21 years in Central Florida.

rjm1cc 09-04-2017 03:44 PM

I know one person who moved "home" and it was not what they expected. I have also seen a lot of posts that point out some problems. I think I might rent in the "home" area for a little time before devising to move back.

Abby10 09-04-2017 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samhass (Post 1443402)
My neighbor and I sat on her lanai reminiscing about home. We had a nice bottle of wine and spoke of all we missed. The upshot of this? Two homes, side by side, right on Lake Sumter are up for sale. We will miss one another when these houses are sold, but Va and Pa are close.
My husband passed away in late June,another reason to go back to my woods. Time flies so quickly here, and it has been a great eleven years, but suddenly, I am older and long for the comfort of my family. Do you ever feel this way?

So sorry for the loss of your husband, samhass. If you have family back home, it is totally understandable that you may want to move back near them. I like one poster's suggestion to maybe not make it permanent right away - perhaps you could rent or live with someone for awhile to see how it goes. Praying that you receive clarity in your decision.

fw102807 09-04-2017 04:25 PM

This makes me sad. I think I would also want to be near my family but know I just couldn't tolerate the brutal winters. I think I would do the snowbird routine and get a small condo up north.

Debfrommaine 09-04-2017 04:41 PM

I, too, am very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, certainly a life changing event, to say the least. Best of luck with your decision. A few years ago we moved from Maine to Bradenton - after a couple of years the grandchildren were born and we thought we should go back to Maine to be part of their lives. Well, what we seemed to forget was the kids have wonderful lives of their own, we did not need the drama, and they were doing great. We went through three cold winters and decided they were all doing fine, we would see them during vacations (I still work) and we moved to The Villages and never looked back. Your life changing event is different than ours and I am sure you will have a great support system back home. For us, we are right where we need to be.

NotGolfer 09-04-2017 05:23 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss!! I can't imagine, though I do think about that very thing from time to time. It's as someone on this link said, that "going home" sometimes isn't what we'd imagine it to be. Unless you still have a great support system there and you feel you can settle in fairly quickly and easily. Give it some thought and investigation before going through it and deciding you didn't make the right decision. There are folks here who care. Keep us updated!

Carl in Tampa 09-04-2017 06:38 PM

Be careful.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by samhass (Post 1443402)
My neighbor and I sat on her lanai reminiscing about home. We had a nice bottle of wine and spoke of all we missed. The upshot of this? Two homes, side by side, right on Lake Sumter are up for sale. We will miss one another when these houses are sold, but Va and Pa are close.
My husband passed away in late June,another reason to go back to my woods. Time flies so quickly here, and it has been a great eleven years, but suddenly, I am older and long for the comfort of my family. Do you ever feel this way?

I'm saddened to hear of the loss of your husband, but like others who have responded to your post, I respectfully suggest that the author Thomas Wolfe was right when he titled one of his books "You Can't Go Home Again."

When my wife passed ten years ago I couldn't bring myself to return to our time share condo on Daytona Beach for over three years. As time has softened the blow of the loss, I am back. In fact, I am there this week.

I suggest you consider what others have mentioned: perhaps a visit back home, where you might find things are not as you remember them, and your children and grandchildren are living their own very active lives. Perhaps keep your house in TV and find a short-term (3 months or so) rental back home to keep in touch with family.

Before long you might find yourself longing to return "home" to The Villages. The key is to find and make good friends here, and have an active social life. Finding someone with similar interests and similar life experiences is sometimes easier in an area where people are the same age, rather than out in the general public.

Proceed cautiously, and do what is best for you.

samhass 09-04-2017 07:25 PM

Thanks for the kind words about my husband. He was a source of constant joy in my life. If I did not have dogs, I think my pain would be even worse. They keep my spirits up.
I was going to have a "Golden Girls" house . There are three master suites and 2 additional guest rooms with baths in this home. We used to laugh about the Golden Girls/Golden Guys idea. Now it isn't so funny and I just want to head back to the house in the woods. It may be a mistake, but I have to go and try it. I love the cold, but can escape if I wish. I will take his cremains home with me.
Many friends and adopted family are here, and will be missed,
but hope the house sells quickly so I can enjoy part of my Granddaughter's senior year.

samhass 09-04-2017 07:28 PM

I know, but Bon Jovi says you can. :-)

Blessed2BNTV 09-04-2017 07:39 PM

Samhass, my heart hurts for you. May you find comfort in going home and being with family.

John_W 09-04-2017 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samhass (Post 1443402)
My neighbor and I sat on her lanai reminiscing about home. We had a nice bottle of wine and spoke of all we missed. The upshot of this? Two homes, side by side, right on Lake Sumter are up for sale. We will miss one another when these houses are sold, but Va and Pa are close.
My husband passed away in late June,another reason to go back to my woods. Time flies so quickly here, and it has been a great eleven years, but suddenly, I am older and long for the comfort of my family. Do you ever feel this way?

I'm sorry for your loss. Eleven years you've been away from your family other than the ocassional visit. Now you're on your own. You are trying to replace companionship with family. A year from now you'll be yearning for companship because you family has their own life, especially since you've been gone. Where do you think you'll have a greater chance of finding a new companion? It would be in TV, where you're surrounded by by many, many seniors your own aqe looking to meet someone. Not back in Virginia where your family has their life and people are doing the hustle and bustle of going to work and back. I predict you'll be back in 3 years if not sooner. Do what you feel is best, but in the end you can never go home.

manaboutown 09-04-2017 09:21 PM

In my case "home" is a time as well as a place. I have been to most of my high school reunions, own a business in the city in which I grew up and fly over there several times a year. Yet it is no longer "home" to me. Where I live now is.

My adult children lead lives of their own and have relocated a few times. My son just moved to a lovely small town, Sandpoint, Idaho, with his wife and four children - but it is in Northern Idaho! Brrr!!! I have never been a winter person and while I have come to love his new town in summer I will stick to the southern climes in winter.

redwitch 09-05-2017 06:12 AM

I'm saddened, both for your loss and for our loss when you leave. I'm sorry to hear of your husband's death. He truly was a nice man.

Do what is best for you. You can always move back here if you change your mind. I've had a couple of friends do that but neither regretted moving back home for a while before returning.

Hugs


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