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-   -   I just had to open my big mouth.... (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/just-fun-109/i-just-had-open-my-big-mouth-338933/)

Taltarzac725 02-10-2023 02:32 PM

I just had to open my big mouth....
 
What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you men name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...

Ecuadog 02-10-2023 04:54 PM

Sure. Now you tell me.

Two Bills 02-10-2023 05:10 PM

Good one Tal.
I had a similar near death experience over the color of my wife's eyes.
I thought I was going to qualify as a full time member of 'The Kennel Club!

JMintzer 02-10-2023 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Two Bills (Post 2185976)
Good one Tal.
I had a similar near death experience over the color of my wife's eyes.
I thought I was going to qualify as a full time member of 'The Kennel Club!

"Bloodshot" wasn't the right answer?

fdpaq0580 02-10-2023 10:00 PM

Apparently, " glow red in the dark " isn't correct either.

ThirdOfFive 02-11-2023 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725 (Post 2185920)
What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you men name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...

Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

chrissy2231 02-11-2023 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive (Post 2186253)
Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

I add, don't try to change mate!

buster21 02-12-2023 06:59 AM

Emmylou said it best. “ No man is master to me, I ain’t that kind.”
This post is sad and DATED.

Veiragirl 02-12-2023 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive (Post 2186253)
Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card

bark4me 02-12-2023 08:18 AM

You found yourself a unicorn

Drdoug49 02-12-2023 08:42 AM

happy wife, happy life. lol

retiredguy123 02-12-2023 08:58 AM

A wife is standing naked in front of a full length mirror in the bedroom. She says to her husband, "Honey, I'm old, fat, and ugly. I really need a complement". The husbands says, "Well, your eyesight is darn near perfect".

DonnaNi4os 02-12-2023 08:58 AM

🤣🌸🥐

Two Bills 02-12-2023 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retiredguy123 (Post 2186562)
A wife is standing naked in front of a full length mirror in the bedroom. She says to her husband, "Honey, I'm old, fat, and ugly. I really need a complement". The husbands says, "Well, your eyesight is darn near perfect".

All these jokes are being taken from my life and my "10 Worst Answers" book!

PugMom 02-12-2023 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veiragirl (Post 2186535)
I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card

YES! we can over to Bealls, leave the hubbies in the small rec area for men, with sofas & tv, then head for the sale aisles! weeee!


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