Expressing one's opinions....
 

The IGNORE option is the key. By ignoring the 10 or 12 people who want to immediately bash the poster life is much nicer. Note: I am not talking about people who have a differing opinion.

..........

I am sorry you are hurt.


A forum can be a terrible place where anonymous people who never come to gatherings to stand before others can be very cruel.


I think you are a very deep and compassionate person who loves her area and her town and is loved back.


I know I have grown to be very defensive about this place where I have met mostly wonderful people and it hurts me when someone maligns it or says things about it that are incorrect.


I have been accused of working for the developer and one person has spread rumors that my home was given to me by Gary Morse. That offends me mightily as we both have worked hard for what we have and have lived carefully and saved in order to have the things we now own.


I think that being a visitor, as opposed to being a homeowner and living year around as a villager may color our thoughts. I identify with this place. It is now MY home town. I am annoyed by people who buy here and do not think of themselves as senior citizens and who seem to have age bias against those among us that are older. It is hard not to be hurt when you are dismissed without ever having looked someone in the eye and seen their their real personality. It is worse to be misjudged because of any number of petty reasons based on unfairness.


We come here to this point in our lives having been on many separate roads and experiencing widely different things that make our personal philosophy very different from each other. We cannot agree on everything and some things always will "push a button" with us. That said, we all have so many more things in common, the one very serious one being that we have far fewer years ahead than we have behind and we have come here with the hope to find some measure of peace and joy in the years left to us. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so we all need to try to cut each other some slack, to overlook, to try to be patient and to turn the other cheek and to try to find some nugget of good in each other. It just is too much effort to be angry and to hate and to play hurtful games.


I hate when people are hurt. Please feel this honest and very genuine hug.

Oh but there are so many in TV and on this website who are WONDERFUL. I try to just ignore the fire-starters and focus on the vast majority. Three cheers for them! (And a BIG thumbs down for 'those few'.)

..........

You've made some good points. Most of the people I've met in The Villages, are wonderful, open minded people, who are active, not on the computer all the time, and not bashing other's opinions. I honestly don't think the clique of regulars is representative of the community as a whole. TOTV does serve a purpose in communicating experiences with contractors, restaurants, etc., or spreading news information like break-ins and the like. I do take it all with a grain of salt, since we all have different standards as to what we like. And sometimes what seems to be news can be just unfounded rumor. As far as the cheerleaders you referred to - they seem to be very threatened when anyone voices something negative about their utopia. We love living here but have said time and time again, it is not perfect. I feel getting things out in the open where people can be aware and possibly change things for the better, is a good thing. There will always be those who disagree - so be it.

"Sincerity is the fulfillment
of our own nature,
and to arrive at it we need
only follow our own true Self.
Sincerity is the beginning
and end of existence;
without it, nothing can endure.
Therefore the mature person
values sincerity above all things."
― Tzu-ssu


"If you find yourself criticizing other people, your probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.


Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. if they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well."
― Stephen Pressfield [/QUOTE]



Amen.


And Senior, what might be construed as "catering to one's minions" just might be being soft to their differences, because we don't all agree and many of us do know and like each other even if we don't share commonalities of religion or politics. We support each other out of friendship.


Another thing is that if you read this forum every day, and keep a pulse on it, it doesn't take long to pick up on those who are angry about something that no one can change and are almost always negative.


Because we ARE older we usually have more of a traditional view of life. I think that the negative people feel that somehow they are being "left out". And some carry with them wherever they go the same things that have caused them pain and loneliness in the past. Some grow and learn and some cannot change.


And some although they have faced awful obstacles are always warm and loving and accepting. It is VERY difficult to know what a person is like from the printed page. And very difficult to pick up on what is truth and what is fiction. Many come here and try to invent a new self, but that doesn't work long. If they had controversy and trouble in the past, usually it will follow them, sadly that is true.


I look forward to you coming here and spending time with some of the frequent posters. I think then you can judge for yourself.


Kind wishes,


Gracie














　

I am proud to say that I have made friends with people who have a generous spirit and a good heart, They would never do anything to hurt me, but only, to help me. I know I can confide in them without having any fear, that it will leave the confines, of their home.
1. People critize, what they don't understand.
2. Some people don't feel well, and tend to bitch.
3. Maybe and this is a stretch, people feel they are coming closer to the end of their life's, and have not made peace with themselves.
4. You can always walk away, form the grouches!!! :smiley:

I agree with Gracie that almost all people, have kindness in their hearts. You just have to look harder for it, in other people.

I look forward to meeting you, and eat some of those Italian recipes.

Joe

I have not been to crispers for a a few months and must get back in the habit.

Previous posters have made some great points, as there are posters who revel in the anonymity of a forum, attacking others for their opinions. Welcome to the internet version of the “bully”. Your opinion is NEVER wrong if the opinion is based upon facts as you know them. The facts can be in error, and one might change their opinion when “new facts” become known. I don’t have to agree with another’s opinion, but perhaps either of us lack some facts of which the other may be aware. A constructive dialogue around dissenting opinions would be ideal.

I have been “flamed” as well, and choose to ignore the source since an internet bully’s strength comes from validating their attack. Please don’t let the “minority” rule the “majority”, use the ignore feature or skip over their replies-they aren’t worth the digital code they are written with or your time.

Have a great time, and btw Senior Citizen, I am freezing up in Michigan as you are out East. I wish that I was down in Florida right now enjoying the sunshine!

So many questions, so little time............................

Another perspective
 

Reading this post brought to mind the quote " Never explain yourself - your friends don't need it and those who dislike you won't believe it"

As it turns out, someone else was also thinking about that topic today in the link below - I found it an interesting read.....

Russell Bishop: Why You Should Never Defend, Explain Or Justify

Also, please indulge me if I revisit a post by 'old coach' about the glass 1/2 full or empty: The fact that I am here in this place at this time in my life already has the glass 1/2 full. Add to that being healthy enough to enjoy most of the activities that I'm interested in, and I'm at 75%. And topping all that off with having the resources to support a comfortable life style and I'm at 99% almost every day. The other 1% has a way of repeating itself but almost always resolving itself over time - and that includes everything I've read so far about what's wrong with living here. I thank myself first for all of this being true but know that many people have helped me get here and that many more will be needed to keep it all going. My current favorie saying is one I modified from the Dos Equis ads that close with "Stay thirsty my friends" Mine is 'Stay grateful my friends" Make this another great day!

Pete

[QUOTE=senior citizen;816319]….I can't stand denial when it is obviously a reality. Don't they realize that people can see right through their desire to be popular by supporting their minions?

Guess I can't understand people's intolerance to others way of thinking or questioning......and then to attack that person's state (when I come right back and agree that things aren't what they once were)…..[/Quote=senior citizen;816319]

I'm with you. Some of these people are very intolerant to say the least. If one voices something negative about The Villages they are labeled "angry", and "they" are the ones with the problem. Sigh. Don't take it to heart - we know who they are and we just ignore them.The Villages is wonderful and we love it here, but we are realistic about the (few) aspects that are not quite up to snuff, in our opinion anyways.

I don't agree with your statement "everyone is on TOTV all the time". Lots of peeps check in regularly to find out whatsup. It's a way of keeping in touch, meeting new friends, and hearing new happenings, some happy, some sad.

A lot of TOTV members don't live in The Villages yet. Plus there are a lot of newbies seeking information on the best place to buy a golf cart, blinds, landscapers, etc. I personally like to read TOTV when I'm in Canada for six months during the summer. It's an excellent way to keep current and find out about new stores and restaurants opening, etc.

Then there are a lot of frogs that use TOTV as amusement, to find out the latest gossip, to post on a restaurant meal, complain about something that's bothering them, or to comment on the latest controversial subject. Some members recently used TOTV as a way to communicate their conversations with police about the recent robberies. TOTV is a good website and an effective way to communicate information and opinions.

If you check the "remember me" box, you appear to be on all the time.

I am on a lot, but I don't anyone, peturb me.

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers, who became family to me.

I know what it is to be up north. and dealing with ice and snow. It can be depressing, not to mention one is freezing their butts off. It has been cool the last few days down in TV, but one can always wear a jacket,scarf and gloves. It usually warms up a little by midday but I an looking forward to the warm weather again.

SC:

It's nothing compared to what you are experiencing as I was in the same boat, (winter of 2012). Sandy and three and a half feet of snow in one snowfall, did not improve my mood any.

Hang in there, it will get better. :smiley:

I learn something new all the time .. I thought a member had to actually log onto the TOTV website to be identified as online.

I'm with you. Some of these people are very intolerant to say the least. If one voices something negative about The Villages they are labeled "angry", and "they" are the ones with the problem. Sigh. Don't take it to heart - we know who they are and we just ignore them.The Villages is wonderful and we love it here, but we are realistic about the (few) aspects that are not quite up to snuff, in our opinion anyways.[/QUOTE]

:bigbow:

:bigbow:[/QUOTE]


If you are a fast reader, then read back just three dozen posts on the folks that were alluded to, and also the people who posted about them. Some people are mostly positive, and some folks are mostly negative.

The negative posters NEVER appear at gatherings of TOTV posters, Not at Crispers, or Dougbee's and Pammie's socials or at gatherings at our home. NEVER.

I agree with Bare. Some people watch the soaps every day; I watch the forum. It all depends on what floats your boat, and I object to being criticized for spending time on TOTV.

If people think we frequent posters don't have a life otherwise, I'd invite them to come spend a day with us.

Hi Cyndy, we would like to schedule our day with you. :a040:

I agree.
I wonder how some have time to write page long posts and pages of research. I guess we all have different priorities.

Who might that be?:clap2:

I guess reading the paper each day is an issue we need to deal with too....darn!

PS how does one know who is on all the time UNLESS they are on all the time.....would that be an inconsistency in the premise presented?

Ok, so let me get this straight. If you don't appear at the handful of functions "sponsored" by TTOV folks, you're opinion is invalid or angry or negative or cowardly or whatever else connotation you choose.
Let's do some math. According to the statistics page here, there are 39,934 members and 1167 active members. So let's say these gatherings pull in I'm sure at least 2-300 people on average. That's still less than 30% of active users and less than 1% of all members. Now, I'm not a math teacher, but not sure how this is any kind of a valid argument.
On top of that, 1 in every 6 comments come from just 10 people!(yes, 600,000 comments, top ten posters is about 100,000) Yea....um...... well, I'm sure you get the picture.
Maybe, just maybe, as some others have mentioned, some people just live realistically, have worked or work for TV, know people or have family members still working for TV, or have had real experiences outside the recreational world of TV. Don't get me wrong, we are happy here and have met awesome people here, but.......

I would like to know how one arrives at this conclusion??

You got it, you two.:coolsmiley: It starts at MVP at the 9:00 weights class. Oh wait! First you have to take the dog out and then pick up his po... well, you know.

Hey Ed:

When are you hitting town? I would like to meet you too!!! :smiley:

My day doesn't included picking up poo. :D

Here is a lovely opportunity. Bill-n-Brillo are coming to town next month too, so is Coach Ed et al. I say, let's have a gathering. Open to all. ALL. I say ALL.


I do have to dump the litter box.


Wait. My Sweetie does that.

:agree: been told that before, and it's in this thread somewhere...the new people that don't show their face can't be trusted...to paraphrase... I'm too old to need someone to validate and comment on my every thought. I like the info that can be gleaned on here, but there is a definite perceived "ownership" of this forum by some...doesn't take long to figure it out and I always feel sorry for the newbie that gets jumped on first time out...it's not helpful, and couch it however you want, not
nice...

It's in this thread, and I've been told it before.

When you are up north in the polar vortex TOTV is your life line.
I thank god for all of your post.
Keep'em coming
Even if it is pop corn

:agree: I never attend any of the TOTV get-togethers, but I turned to TOTV ladies recently to get help for a friend, and the support she received was amazing.

There are many wonderful posters who NEVER attend gatherings, MANY. In fact MOST. I will never, ever meet Bogie Shooter in person, he wants always to remain anonymous. I have even asked if he would show up at my funeral. He never answered, but... well hope springs eternal.

Somehow the meaning of saying that the cruel posters and the bullying posters and those who give anonymous jabs and seem to never have anything to say that is supportive or kind never show up at gatherings got to be misunderstood. Some, any, all, frequently, never, most, a few....all qualifiers.


I think people who read this forum a lot can pretty much figure people out.


There are many times that brand new posters come on with a rant. That always makes me suspicious as to who they used to be. People can and do change or add screen names even though the moderators keep close watch.


Trouble makers WANT to cause trouble and the oil on troubled waters folks are always out in force.


This is an interesting forum to say the least, every day. I think it is better than a novel or a TV show or a movie or a book on human behavior..........., and I can read better than I can HEAR in gatherings.. My excuse. :(

Let's see. I'm a frequent poster. I'm not a fan of the Morses. I think Gracie pretty much walks on water even though there are time I shake my head at her political leanings (and I won't even discuss my reaction to l2ridehd although he knows it intimately rofl). I rarely jump on a poster but it would be wise to duck if I do -- I do aim before I fire. I try to respect others' opinions regardless off how misguided I think they are. Basically, I really do try to treat others as I want them to treat me.

I HATE when I see someone bashed because they are a newbie and their comments seem out of line to others, even when I am shaking my head in disbelief at what was said (i.e., the recent Mezza Luna thread where the owner's son behaved badly). Just because you didn't witness it or it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it couldn't have happened. You can defend the company being denigrated without being rude to the poster.

Opinions are worth almost as much as the paper they are written on. And, since paper isn't even used here, we know exactly how much they are worth. My opinion is my opinion, yours is yours. Try to stand in the other person's shoes -- they may have a real reason for saying what they believe.

I was truly hurt recently when I was accused of not being a fan because I changed allegiances with what I felt were valid reasons. To the one who accused me, he had been raised in one area and, I gather, so had at least his parents. He could no more imagine changing teams than he could imagine not breathing. This was not the case with me but that certainly didn't mean I loved my teams any less than he did his. I'm just not hometown loyal.

As to why we're not out playing in this "nice" weather -- we're fair-weather folks. To you, 35 is almost balmy. To us, it is downright cold. Heck, anything under 70 brings out the heavy jacket, gloves, hat and scarf to many here. It is not fun to be riding around in a golf cart when cold. I shake my head in disbelief at the golfers out in inclement weather (talk about addicted! lol).

Aw, c'mon...:evil6:

How about THIS. We get in touch with Coach and his crew, and Bill-n-Brillo and see WHEN they can get together and we all meet at one of the squares like we used to, when KathieI and SamHass and the first social gatherers were gathering.


Come with a name tag that says..TOTV so if you don't want to be identified, just run the risk of being hugged....and then we can dance and talk and listen to the music and maybe go out to dinner or come to my house for dessert afterwards?


What do you think of that idea?


WAIT.....CFrance may be coming up with even a better idea...........Anyone else?????? I will just come and lurk if those who don't like me are worried.

As the rabbit said to the hunter; I'm game! First couple weeks in February would work well.

I'm game, but don't shoot me. :D