Adjusting to retirement
 

Anyone else find adjusting to retirement difficult? After decades of 60+ hr work weeks as a business executive, I was thrilled to be able to retire and live full time in TV. Now 3 months into it, I'm finding it very difficult to adjust to the slower pace. I've never had any hobbies and have never been a big "joiner" of clubs. I've explored a few hobbies and groups since moving here but none have appealed to me. I either swim or golf every day and I read a lot but that only kills a few hours a day. My career was so demanding, I never had time to be bored. It never occurred to me I would be bored in retirement. I've been told this is just a part of the adjustment phase. Any suggestions to assist my transition would be greatly appreciated

I'm starting to think the same. It's been 4 months now. I am heading to TV this week so maybe I will feel differently. Everyone says it takes a year. Will see.

I still work 1000 hours a year from home and traveling for my company. Next year will probably be 500 hours. That's the way I am transitioning. Had I not done that, I would have found a way to volunteer, or I would have found a vastly different job. My oldest friend, an OB/GYN, wants to be a barista at Starbucks. I have a CPA, so if I get bored I might prepare taxes or work as a cashier.

There are so many ways to volunteer here: working with kids, helping the disadvantaged, veteran organizations, pets and so on. It's a lot more rewarding than working and some volunteer positions can keep you hopping.

Adjusting to retirement
 

I feel some of what you describe. I partake in quite a few activities, including volunteering, and do things with my wife. But there is so much time compared to the working years that it is still quite an adjustment.

Also, my wife and I are both a bit shy, so making friends is a slow process. But we're doing well. As you said, I've also often heard to plan on the adjustment being a gradual process. So far that seems to be true.

Maybe there's a club here...the Retirement Adjustment Club...hmmm. :)

Retirement - very difficult!
 

Retirement was almost forced on us by an over the top package offered to my husband and to my job being relocated to down town Boston! Neither one of us had any interest in retirement, we both loved our jobs and had never even discussed retirement and certainly not to Florida - which we were repeatedly told was for the "newly wed and almost dead"!

We took the "retirement package, along with the pension and the benefits" and settled into retirement. My otherhalf did great, got a job in the pro shop at our local golf course which left me in the house 24/7, while he was out meeting and greeting and bending the elbow with his friends at the club! I was ready to do something drastic and ended up taking a part time job in a local store which passed the time and gave me people to communicate with.

After several years we "found" TV and are now very happily settled into retirement, but we are on the go five out of seven days a week. Thankfully, there is more than enough to keep your mind and body occupied here, so a satisfactory retirement adjustment has been made - but, I would not want to go through it again.:smiley:

I think that is a great idea - how nice to be able to meet people who are going through the same adjustment problems as yourself. It would probably be one of the biggest clubs in TV!

Fb32162, as said previously there are many volunteer opportunities here. As a former business executive have you heard of SCORE (Senior Core of Retired Executives). The focus is to mentor people that want to start up a new business. If you would like more information please pm me and I can provide you with some information. Good luck and give it some time, you will find a niche.

At my first real job, just out of college, I had a very wise boss well into his 60's. He was preparing for retirement and thought retirees should retire slowly, gradually cutting back on work hours, and learn to use their free time after being in the work force for 40 years, plus or minus.

Several fellows I have known over the years saw their fathers drop dead within a year or two of retiring. It must be a shock to some.

The solution may to to prepare well by planning how one is going to spend time in retirement, be it volunteering. hobbies, a part time job, whatever.

I had felt that way as well. I'm now volunteering. I find it fulfills my need for a purpose and I feel better on the days I just do recreational activities.

I too had the same problem.....the dream of retirement did not end up as i expected. when all you do is work and put in 60-80-100hr weeks it does not leave time to develop hobbies or special interests.....upon retirement ...I joined organizations that benefit the community..ie the lions club....volunteered at a nursing home..and hospital......
i found that if you have a purpose to get up and GET to it....whatever IT is....makes a difference......part time work may fill the gap....i had a friend that liked hand guns and he got a part time job in a gun shop......another friend liked brewing beer and he became a brewmaster??....i have friends that teach part time.....
keep looking its out there.........But remember you are Retired so have fun!!....good luck

Like a number of posters have stated retirement was something that was more or less force upon me. I had learned to work well and loved to work. I never learned how to play and in fact from a personal point of view believe play time is a tremendous waste of energy. I suppose that is why experts suggest making a living at something you love to do.

Like many here I made a good living and so a part time job at minimum wage does not have the appeal

I miss my work and would have worked until the company threw me out .

I agree with volunteering. While I'm several months out from retirement, I have previously been involved with a food bank and it was so rewarding. I felt I was helping others, it kept me physically active and involved. I loved every exhausting minute.

Is there a place within the volunteer community where the skills you acquired, and in some cases enjoyed, can be utilized? Did you do computer related work and now can do web pages for animal rescue. Did you do construction, but the body isn't as limber as it once was, but you could help inter city youth paint walls that now have words you wouldn't want your grandchildren repeating. Is there a hobby you wished you would have had more time doing and can put that into use? Maybe you played the piano and a Dementia unit would love to have you play for the residents.

As my husband approaches retirement it is something he is trying to work out before his final day. How do you go from working 60 plus hours per week and your work ethic says it isn't right to sit at the pool, drinking Bud Light, reading a book 7 days a week? We were both taught when you work you work hard and when you play you play hard, but work must be first. We never truly learned how to play. It isn't always easy adjusting to retirement and a forum like this with sharing of ideas is a wonderful tool.

Since you got into golf, have you thought about softball? You can play 2 weekdays in the rec league and on Saturday in the neighborhood league, or all three days. We have the largest softball league in the USA, nine diamonds and 2500 players.

http://www.thevillages.com/images/he...r-softball.jpg

If you want something a little more demanding, how about a pilots license. It's only about 30 minute ride over to Leesburg Airport and once you're licensed, they have fly-ins to other airports all over the state for breakfast and lunch.

http://www.sunairaviation.com/images/182_over_hero.jpg

If you want to keep your feet on the ground. They're bike groups that have rides to various locales. If you have a problem with balance, there is the Harley and Honda trikes or a Can-Am Spyder.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...er_ST_(01).jpg

Myself, I use to fly but it was too expensive to stay with it. Now, I play golf, softball and go to MVP Athletic Club at Brownwood 4 or 5 days a week. I didn't even mention all the things you can do on the water or the beach.

http://www.mvpsportsclubs.com/sites/...nwood_Home.jpg

Retire me?
 

I too worry about how well I will do. Working all your adult life under pressure seems like it would be easy to leave however? Now it becomes real very real my wife and I just bought a house last Sat. We will retire in 2.5 years so we shall see.

With all The Villages has to offer to keep one active in retirement, with a little time invested looking for what you would like to do, it is not hard to to stay active 7 days a week. Yes there is an adjustment period. Take some time to find the activities that are appealing and take more time to learn how to relax during those gap periods between Golf / Pickle Ball / Water Volley Ball / Card Groups / Corvette Club meetings & activities. It is a new lifestyle after WORK. I have adjusted! Sorry. Got to go. Our Wisconsin Club Meeting starts in 45 minutes.

I too am facing the same thing in 12 days. Business will be sold. Last week while meeting with potential new client, I felt the rush of hunt and kill of new business. Wonder what will give me that same rush?

I will look into SCORE and if someone wants to start a transition group, I'd join.

It is whatever you make or want it to be. Have a plan. If you fail to plan, plan to fail

I retired fairly early at 54 and always believed in balance in one's life. Eight hours of work, eight hours of sleep and 8 hours of personal life. I have been retired for 9 years and I found it a very easy transition to expand my interest outside of work. After all, I had 30 some years of doing one thing, hopefully I can spend 30 some years doing the things I enjoy outside of work! Unfortunately, I know some people have hard time transitioning from being who they are at work or being a mother (empty nest syndrome). Life is richer if you have multiple interests.

Every situation is different. Since owning my business I didn't have to go to the office daily, I did because I enjoyed my work (marketing agency) and enjoyed the folks I worked with, and most importantly had great clients that have turned into friends.

Always said I found a "hobby" where I could make money - work.

If you want to have a happy and fulfilling retirement, you have to get away from living your life like you still have a job. It's time to explore your creative side! Take some art or music classes, develop your spiritual side, and don't be afraid to try new things. This should be the happiest and most fulfilling time of your life - you are not tied to a job and you can do what you want to do. My son bought me a book called "What Color is Your Parachute? for Retirement" by Richard Bolles. It has really helped me to make the transition to thinking about retirement in a different light. Good luck as you move into this new and exciting stage of your life!

The adjustment seems much more difficult for my husband, which makes me feel kind of sad.i think it helps to know you are NOT alone. Take each day slowly, don't feel pressure to run 24/7.You don't have to be as busy as many of these bees!!!just a walk in the pool is great this time of year. Your idea of an adjustment group is great.

Very Nice smc.

Not at all ad normal.

Volunteer!

Volunteering is so rewarding, and there are many opportunities with dozens of groups here. I look forward to going to work at my volunteer jobs, and I think part of it is that we have the freedom to say "no" to certain things and scheduling is according to what you can/want to do. It's also nice to be able to leave on vacation or to travel, without feeling so guilty as we did with paid jobs.

Also check out the many courses and trips at the Lifelong Learning College, here. See the course catalog on the left, under "Home".
http://thevillageslifelongcollege.com

I agree having multiple non work related interests would ease the retirement transition.

When I was in my late 30s with the blessing of my husband I left the nursing profession for a couple of years to pursue my dream of working in the travel industry. I was able to get a job as a tour director which was so much fun, and that transitioned into working as a tour guide at the Newport, R.I. Mansions which sparked my love of art history and led to taking courses at RISD in pursuit of an art history degree. Money got tight and I had to go back to nursing employment, but boy do I look forward to the day when I have the time again to pursue these enjoyable interests from my past and pursue a few news ones as well.

I would like to share my experience with retirement. Much of what I feel has already been mentioned but I still feel I know even more. Does anyone realize living in The Villages you have more volunteers than you have positions available? People trying to learn or play social games are not truly welcome by the regulars. Many exercisers, golfers and pool regulars have become cliques that are hard to break into. What else is left, a life of solitude?? The College seems to repeat the same old, same old courses and we are way beyond them. Any comments would be appreciated.

I am enjoying reading this thread because now it's 11 days to official retirement. I am planning to volunteer, I have a passion for visiting the elderly who may not have family visiting often, I plan to take classes - never learned to cook very well.

I do look forward to our new life of active, social life.

I guess I would have liked retirement better if I played better golf:D

It seems like all of my life I worked. When we were kids we worked for the family business. We worked real jobs summers after we turned 16. I became a VP of a company and worked or did required volunteer work easily 60-70 hours a week. I was a bit scared the day I turned in my laptop and business cell and retired. My husband took me on a vacation the first week. I have never once missed working and totally enjoy my freedom. Nope, I don't do a lot of clubs or volunteer work or even golf. I don't want to be tied down to anything. We do have a boat we enjoy using. We are totally loving being "slugs". We have been able to take advantage of some last minute specials for vacations and just jump in a car and take off for a few days on a whim. I love retirement.

Thank you ! Those who honestly expressed your frustration with retirement! It has been a concern for us ... Your posts have validated our difficulties in TV . Yes, we can join the myriad of clubs,sports and volunteer positions BUT some of us are not the social butterfly types. After many years here , lord knows how many of the above we have participated in,with and on. The end result is been there done that...now what? We are love our cruises( when we can afford them) We have expanded our

I think there are three things that make a big difference to your happiness here. Your neighborhood, for one. We live in an exceptionally friendly neighborhood. People knew we were coming and came by to welcome us when we showed up. There are card games (beginners welcome and coaching available) and block parties. People stop to chat on the street. Being extroverted helps a lot, too. You need to join things and get involved. If there's not a group that interests you, you have to be willing to start one. The third thing that helps is knowing people who already live here. We have very good friends who have owned here for a while and lived here full time for 2 years. They went way out of their way to make us feel at home.

I was able to retire at 61 after working in industry for ~40 years. I formed my own consulting company and work on projects with people I enjoy working with. I fish in the ponds, play in a billiards league, play water volleyball 3-4 times/week. We joined a few social clubs. I have no interest in golf at this point. I enjoyed playing pickleball, but I am no longer "authorized" (by the boss:) to play. During our morning coffee while reading the paper and watching the news, my wife will ask me what's on my schedule--my reply is "I'm booked" -translation, no time for the honeydo list. I also go to the Seabreeze gym every day. We are thoroughly enjoying TV!

I truly hope you find and explore what your passion may be. Have you considered going outside the community to volunteer? The area schools would probably welcome you with open arms. With budget cuts in every state, the schools are in need of someone to read to a class, go on a field trip, or set up an art show.

I've seen posts on this forum with people looking for someone to play golf or participate in some other activity. Posting here may help you and others, find someone with shared interests.

You had some very valid feelings in your post. We're in PA and can't be of too much help, but hope someone reading this thread will respond or send you a PM to begin what may be a mutually beneficial friendship.

Different strokes. . .
 

I have 4 retired girlfriends in the Columbus area that I see a lot of when back for the summer. Each one has somewhat different interests and retirement solutions.

One, who retired as an executive at a large healthcare insurance co., sells Medicare supplements and advantage plans. Really knows her stuff, loves working and gets her personal satisfaction there. Plus it's mainly seasonal - medicare re-enrollment time. She's been doing it about 3 years and is now getting lots of referrals because her customers are so pleased with her - because she truly doesn't care which policy she sells, just wants people to be well-matched. She also, with her husband, helps out their son and his family with occasional baby-sitting and home improvements.

Another, who has mostly been a stay-at-home mom and homemaker, loves to improve her already nice house - that's her thing. I think they may even move to another high-maintenance, large, expensive home that needs remodeled and redecorated (because she loves to do this as does her husband, who is very handy). She says so what if they get too old to handle stuff - that's maybe when they will downsize - or not. I am sure that if she were in The Villages, she would be moving every 2 or 3 years just to redo houses.

The other 2 are single women. One is a big-time gardener, and what you might call a lifelong learner. She takes various college classes that interest her - right now taking one called "Women in Literature." Joined a book club at the Art Museum this year - in past years she's done other stuff. Before that it was professional landscaping classes. And she volunteers with an arboretum helping to organize their spring plant sale. She has no children and makes a point to meet and make friends with other single women who act as an unofficial support group when one of them has health issues. She has also done a lot of interesting travel.

The other loves to play games, belongs to a gaming club (board games, mostly) and has learned to play mah jongg and going to take bridge lessons this winter. She also travels with other single friends and occasionally babysits a 2 yr old granddaughter in Georgia.

Lots of different things - just have to figure it out.

This is a great thread. I still work full time from home but wonder what it will be like when I'm able to retire. I have always planned on slowing down and not just all of a sudden being retired. Does that affect your social security? I thought you were supposed to make as much as you could your last 5 years or so. Still really confusing.

I know when my father retired, he lost all interests as he was not making money. The chase of the money was his thing!! All articles say to ease into retirement, thinking of how one wants to fill their day. Many good suggestions were given but I would look closely at the REC news in Thursday paper, and start filling your calendar with the things that interest you.

Many things you do, without being a social butterfly. Just be friendly to everyone, and your world will open up. Remember the old saying, "half the world is waiting for the other half to say hello".

Good luck in filling up your day. :smiley:

My greatest joy in retirement is the fact that I have not, nor do I need to "fill up my day".