Couples going to the Dr. together
 

OK, what is the deal with couples going to the doctor together around here when only one is actually being seen? Not just to the office, but back to the exam room! It doesn't seem to be limited to any age demographic either or to any medical specialty including eye doctors. Should I be bringing my spouse when I go and vice versa? Just mystified.

Two doctor visits for the price of one.


"Oh Doctor, since I'm here........can you look at this??"

It could be loss of some cognitive abilities on the part of the patient, so the spouse needs to make sure what the instructions actually are. Another factor could be patient anxiety.

I'm sure that if you explain to the doctor that you'd feel better if your spouse went with you, your doctor would be more than happy to accommodate you. ;-)

Exactly
 

Redwitch: You "hit the nail on the head" that is exactly why your spouse or a friend might go with you to the doctor and to the exam room. This is not uncommon no matter what State you live in. :thumbup:

Exactly. In most good marriages, as you age, you watch out more and more for each other.

A friend mentioned the other day that she was out when I called because she went with her husband to the dentist. Yep, just a regular cleaning. No, he's not infirm and wasn't being medicated.

I thought it was odd as well!

Dr visit
 

I go with my sister at times and take notes.
I go with my husband because he can't hear.
I have a medical background and I keep quiet, but I can interpret sometimes.

As a married couple, if one of you has a disease or problem, you both do. Neither of us would not go into The examination room, but we both meet with The doctor.

Or, one may have been diagnosed with something serious and they may both be meeting with the doctor to have questions answered, etc. Whatever their reason for doing so, it's none of my business.

Many folks have health issues (ie heart, stroke and more) where it's good to have someone come with you to the exam room. That way all the questions (or most) can be answered and it's better to have 2 sets of ears than one, especially with some serious issues. Up til a handful of months ago I never went to the doctor with my S.O.---but many times now it's a "must".

I'm mystified why this is concern to you? :

My wife is a retired registered nurse so she goes with me sometimes if she thinks I'm not asking the right questions. Sometimes just to drive me home after some sort of treatment. Routine stuff she leaves up to me.

I can understand a pelvic exam but the dentist?[emoji6]

I can understand the dentist but not a pelvic exam. I don't want to be in the room for that let alone have someone else in the room.

WHERE is the like button???

My husband and I have been going to each other's appointment since he retired at age 55. That's just the way we do things - but also understand we lived in a 38' motorhome for 5 years so we're pretty connected at the hip and that is just the way we like it.

WHEW!:posting::posting::posting:

We go with each other for major appointments. More ears, more understanding. Then we go out for a great meal.

I agree. I think people who question this approach haven't YET been given a serious diagnosis.


The anxiety is about equal for the person who is diagnosed, and the person who loves them deeply. After facing Cancer, or any number of equally scary things, both parties suffer from a bit of PTSD. It is mind numbing and soul shattering and it takes more than one brain to process things like major surgery and chemo and the fact that your life is in jeopardy.


It is just easier to have a buddy. Health issues increase with age.

My husband had a massive brain bleed last year. He has memory issues,and gait and balance issues. I got EVERY medical appointment he has, in the exam room. I have seen them catherize him and then they taught me how. Op should just be grateful that they, have not test had a serious illness or injury. This can turn your life upside down Ina second. My husband does not come to medical appoint,nets with me unless we both have appts. With the same provider on the same day and time.

So right Gracie. My wife had an appointment in Orlando today with a very specialized Ophthalmologist. She asked me to go with her and I did. It was not a big deal but it made her feel more comfortable, so I was happy to do so.

I have several serious medical conditions and my husband now goes with me on a few of the important appointments. Sometimes he just wants to hear the truth. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I can't process it all. At other times, I think he's a bit afraid that I'm hiding the full extent of the problem from him. But I went to the dentist today and he wouldn't have dreamed of going along. And I can't imagine asking him. And he would run screaming from an OBGYN appointment.

I go to most doctor appointments with my mother for several reasons -- even the exams. She doesn't hear that good and needs an extra pair of ears, she often minimizes her issues or doesn't tell the doctor her issues, she doesn't ask questions and most importantly, I get to hear what the doctor said first hand. I don't go with her to the dentist. It works for us!

Exactly, my husband has been experiencing some health issues the last few years. I can't always depend on him to remember everything he needs to ask or sometimes relay exactly what he was told. It doesn't have anything to do with advanced age, etc. (because we are not). I feel better and he does too if I am there with him. A lot of this has been very upsetting for him. Sometimes two sets of ears are better.

Should you bring your spouse in is a personal decision and no one should care if you do or not. I could care less what folks do.

Been to Victoria Secret store lately? Guys are in the dressing rooms all the time while their girls, are trying things on. So by the time they come to TV, it's now the Dr's office.

Because Sheldon would be dead otherwise.

And someone needs to be with him when he get a hair cut......as long as the barber has his file.

Getting the truth
 

This may come as a terrible shock to you, but some people LIE TO THEIR SPOUSE about their health status.

In other cases, some people, PARTICULARLY MEN, don't actually go to see the doctor.

Going as a couple forestalls this kind of deception. All of the other replies you have received about mutual concern, getting the facts right, etc., also apply.

Right again Dee! I got tired of asking DH, "what did the dr say about your so and so that you've been complaining about for weeks? And him answering, I didn't tell him about it!" So, like I did with my children, I just go back with him and I know all issues are covered!

A spouse has a vested interest in his/her spouse. My spouse gets short with me because I hold some facts back from the doc because I view them as non-essential while she views them as pertinent. My spouse has gone with me to the doc because I was severely weakened . My spouse wants to have a clear understanding of my condition and the possible remedies My souse and I just love each other so much we won't be parted when one of us is experiencing trauma of any kind.

Now I could add more but

Because we are a team...short and simple. We've gone into appointments for over 30 years now. Its good to have 2 sets of ears, one might ask a good question that the other could overlook, and one might understand things a little better. When I am the patient, I am generally less relaxed and having him with me lessens my stress and anxiety. The support is very important to us. Also, I want to know his doctor as well as he does (and visa versa) so that I am able to be his mouth and ears if ever needed!

My spouse goes with me when I have had a sudden change because she is a RN. Lay people do not generally possess enough medical knowledge to ask questions that maybe should be asked. ESPECIALLY when recent health changes are adverse in nature, and how they should be treated. My recent changes were blood pressure related, and cardiology related visits. Routine visits are just that. She does not go with me

I guess I'm a little surprised about this question being asked. I see spouses going in together all the time. Never even thought about it. We never know what health issues people have.
Hubby always goes with me. I've had some issues and he wants to get first hand knowledge. After all, should I need help, he's the one that will have to help me and understand.
When I've had surgeries or hospitalization, he wants to make sure he understands everything the Dr. says.
If it's routine, he stays in the waiting room.
Then we leave, go for breakfast or lunch and maybe get a little shopping in.

couples sharing dr. visits
 

Bonny, I couldn't have said it better!!!:BigApplause:

Haven't you heard the one about the elderly couple who went to the doctor together?
The doctor examined the man first.
Then he called the wife into his office.
"Your husband is very frail," he said."He is going to need a lot of tender loving care. You should prepare tasty nourishing meals for him, make sure he gets plenty of rest, give him backrubs and never let him get aggravated or angry."
The wife joined her husband and on the way home he asked,"So what did the doctor say about me?"
She replied, "He said you're gonna die."

I have personally found that having a second person in the room benefits the patient. Most doctor appointments can leave you with questions unanswered. Especially as we age and the reasons for seeing the doctor are for serious issues that need to be heard by both parties. I have rarely had an appointment where the doctor hands me a document stating the purpose and results of the office visit. In the world of medicine, ignorance is not bliss.

Ditto Gracie!!

I think couples going to doctor appointments together is a reflection of the relationship they have - they love, they share, they care.