The worlds shortest fairytale....
 

And the GIRL lived happily ever after as well....golfing, drinking wine, making her own money, shopping and talking on the phone...whenever she wanted...

The End....:a040:



FUMAR....you made my day!!! And you didn't even try to!! :icon_wink:

You are TOO funny!!!

Fumar...You are soooo twisted! :ohdear::rolleyes:

Totally twisted.:blahblahblah::blahblahblah:

Keep in mind that no matter how cute and sexy a guy is, there's always some woman somewhere who's sick of him! :1rotfl:

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? :1rotfl:

Ladies,

Would anyone like to go with me to apply for a government grant to study why the male of the species is so amused by farts?

Baby boys laugh at farts. Big boys laugh at farts. I believe that all males are completely taken with the thought and practice of farting.

One of my friend's husband packed a special fart-producing diet to take along on one of those male-bonding trips, like fishing or whatever. He laughed maniacally while loading up his suitcase with cans of baked beans, bean soup, refried beans, and any other kind he could find. I think he planned to win some kind of contest that we do not even want to think about.

Another friend's husband had an old vinyl record that was a farting contest. He and Mr. Boomer used to find it quite hilarious. There were all different types of farts, recorded for posterity. The vinyl has probably migrated to iPod by now for the amusement of an entire new generation of males.

I once heard a quite dignified matronly lady complaining because her husband would take great delight in farting in bed and then pulling the covers up over her head. The thing is -- in public her husband appeared to be as dignified as she was. I could never quite look at them in the same way after I heard about that.

I think Chaucer wrote one of the "Canterbury Tales" about somebody farting out the window. That was supposed to be great literature.

And have you ever known of a woman who would actually buy a Whoopee Cushion?

And now, The Great Fumar brings us this little fairy tale about farts.

I could go on and on about this mystery. I could probably think of a bunch more examples. But maybe I had better shut up. I am starting to sound a little nuts. I have just written a whole page about farts.

But I do think this issue may deserve some government funding for a study.

Could it be that the mystery of this fascination and admiration for farts is somehow attached to the Y chromosome?

The admins may have to pull my post. Maybe we are not allowed to write about farts.

But wait! The admins are all males. They are probably not even reading this stuff. They will never even see my post, much less pull it. I'll bet they are too busy sitting around, telling each other, "Hey, pull my finger."

Boomer

Boomer, Boomer, Boomer... :1rotfl: I never associated flatus with chromosomes. I was thinking the male brain just hadn't evolved quite as far as the females' when it came to flatus, (alias: farts). :loco:

Fumar

very very nice :ohdear:

Boomer and Peachie, With the economy in the hopper, I am not sure the country can afford such a study. Those gasbags in Congress would debate its' merits forever, but ultimately the expenditures would be like an ill wind to the American taxpayer.

So True!
 

Boomer this is so true! I once worked for a brilliant man and his favorite thing was fart jokes. Even had one of those little can things that makes fart sounds to use at certain times during conferences.

It never ceased to amaze me. I agree. There should be a study. :shrug:

Between cows and men, no wonder greenhouse gases are exploding, pardon the pun.

This discussion is way tooooo cerebral for me.

However, there have been a time or two that I have seen a blue haze the morning after Sweetie has had a few beers.

Gracie.............:clap2::1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

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Gracie, perhaps Sweetie needs to have HIS catalytic converter checked....
:ohdear:

Peachie,

Do you think he pulls the covers up over her head? Oh my! They look so dignified and classy in their picture.

Boomer

Some funny stuff there, i dont care who you are.....

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Only if he is a REAL man, Boomer. That is the only true identifier of the species that we have.... cover pulling, farting, and self satisfied grins from ear to ear. (Don't take it personally, Sweetie), we're talking about the whole gender here....) :faint:

ROTFL. :mademyday:

My husband is leaving today to head up north for the start of deer hunting season. Of course he referred to the movie "Escanaba in da Moonlight" many times as we were packing his gear. (If you haven't seen the movie it is about a hunting camp and it is filled with farting and bathroom humor!) Next weekend he is heading to a hunting camp in the UP, so I'm sure I'll be regaled with more fart humor than a girl can stand in the next couple of weeks. :yuck:

My grandson is just turning 3, and I am sorry to say that one of his first words when he was learning to talk was "fart". It starts so young! I think you are right Boomer, it's in the chromosomes.

Yes, SS, it has to be Y chromosomal. I mean, just think about it a minute. Can you imagine being out with your friends, sipping wine, gossiping a little, talking about books, and then topping the evening off by seeing who can fart the loudest?

I told Mr. Boomer about the movie you mentioned here. I just know he will like it. I am going to ask him if he and his buddies enjoy farting and laughing about it while they are on that pilgrimage to Oshkosh every year. You would think that could cause a little turbulence with 4 guys crammed into a single engine plane. (Maybe I won't ask. I do not really want to know.)

I have got to get out of here before I write another dissertation tonight on the subject. I just can't seem to let go of the fact that I think there has to be funding out there somewhere for a study of the Y chromosomal link to the joy of farting.

Boomer

Boomer, I just luv your posts but am wondering. Have you ever thought of blogging on here? I mean, the gifted way you express yourself seems appropriate for a blog and I'm sure you'd have many people not only reading your posts but responding.

Just a thought.

Thank you, Brightspot. Those are kind words.

But I think I might get lonesome in a blog.

I stop by my kitchen a few times a day to cook or eat or answer the phone. My kitchen is where my computer lives, even though I have been threatening to move it out of here for over a year.

When I am in here, I often, too often, click on TOTV to see what's going on. I like never knowing where I might land. Today, I have talked about books and the Kindle. And yesterday I even ventured into political to link an article about how our political leanings might be reflected in how neat or messy we might be.

But for the past two nights, I have found myself in this thread writing about farts. You know, maybe I should be finding that to be a bit worrisome. My, my, look where I have been landing lately. Oh, well.

I like not having to think about what I am going to write. A blog might require some planning. I like just looking around TOTV and then I see what I end up typing. I hope you can tell that I have fun doing it. That's why I do it. And you are all a pretty darned nice bunch.

Anyway, thanks again for those nice thoughts, Brightspot.

Boomer

I see that Boomer is never quite sure when an admin is around reading this stuff.

Boomer's idea of a federal grants is quite sound, however, I do not want to be one of those who undertakes the study.

What about the farting nun organ ladies?
 

I suppose this has to be an invention of a man? http://humor.about.com/b/2007/06/30/...-nun-organ.htm

T 'N' T, (Tony and Tal)

So, Tony, you think my study idea has possibilities but you do not want to be involved, huh. Well, I am starting to wonder how I would look in a hazmat suit.

And Tal,

WHAT!!!!

NUNS?????

.....Ohhhhhh, Noooooo, to think that I had promised myself that I would not keep talking about this subject.

Boomer

True words from a wise old philosopher:

It is much better to "let-it-out" and bare the shame than to "hold-it-in" and bare the pain.

I can't let anyone pull my finger for relief anymore because of Arthritis but The Great Fumar can sure pull all our legs.

Well, this is just great. Here's that thread back again. I can't stay out of this one. I really need to get a grip.

I do have to say, MMC24, that I so much agree with what you say here about The Great Fumar.

But there is something about this very topic that I suspect The Great Fumar knows well.

You see, I think that The Great Fumar may be a pilot. And no matter what, every pilot knows that, on takeoff, it is much better to break ground and fly into the wind than it is to break wind and fly into the ground.

Right Seat Boomer

I feel I should comment on this as it is serious business.......In 2002 during an approach and flair on runway 27 at Oshkosh my companions whose expulsions were so poorly timed that the boost forced me to do a go-around and this time with the side vent open.......trailing blue smoke , people thought we were part of the Air Show.......Now you can go ahead and poo poo this if you want too but we won second place ..........

barnstorming fumar

Fumar!!! Wow!!! Was that you? Mr. Boomer still talks about it. In fact, he may have it on video.

Boomer

:1rotfl::1rotfl: I checked back in today for this?

The Great Fumar is full of gas and ready for take off. Please observe the seat belt sign and insure that your seats and tray tables are in the upright and locked position. For your safety, gas masks will automatically drop in the likely event of a sudden drop in the breathable oxygen level. Please insure that you attach your mask before loosing consciousness.

And I thought there would be nothing to talk about after the election!