They won't let me work there anymore!
 

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the heck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied, "No Ma'am. I'm neither blind nor stupid. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice." "Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart!"

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[QUOTE=gryoung;213920]So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the heck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied, "No Ma'am. I'm neither blind nor stupid. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice." "Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart!"
.................................................. ..........................................

THIS OLD CLINKER HAS BEEN FLOATING AROUND ON THE INTERNET HOAXES FOR YEARS

[quote=scotsman;213934]I bet that I deleted that from my E-mail at least a dozen times. But it is still funny!

Guys, there's no question this joke's been around awhile but some of the old jokes are still just as funny the second, and the fifth time you hear them. Of course if you didn't see the humor the first time, the joke may not get any more funny the second time around.

George

I Laughed
 

Guess I missed this is it has been around awhile. I liked it, it made me laugh!

Thanks for my chuckle of the day.

I've just printed this out for my hubby to read. He most definitely would be able to relate to this, owning a retail establishment of his own.........and often having the same type stop in with their obnoxious children. He could write a book, believe me.

No matter whether this has been floating around in cyber space for eons, it is still good for a laugh.

I loved it. If I'd heard it, I forgot!
Of course, I can hide my own Easter eggs!

Wal-Mart greeter
 

True story:

I was westbound on I-24 out of Chattanooga one time and had a local station on my car radio. The disc jockey came out of a record and announced a contest.

She said, "The average age of workers in this job is 76," and started taking calls. After playing a record, she came back on and said "I've had 25 calls. You all said 'Wal-Mart greeter.' And you're all wrong."

Then she played another song and I'm getting further from town and afraid I'll lose the station before she gives the answer. She comes back in after the next record and says she has no winners; no one got it right.

The answer: Poll workers. But I liked the way everyone assumed they knew the only place that would hire people that age.

I've often said I've spent my life in jobs that provided needed services to the public, so in retirement, I want to be completely useless. I could sit in the park and feed the pigeons, but the pigeons would get something out of that.

No, I want to be really useless. I want to be a Wal-Mart greeter.

______________________

Gryoung: I never heard this one before. Gave me a good laugh. Have passed it on to my friends. Too bad some people have to turn everything into a negative.

ME too Jane.

I loved it.

Well we've never seen it before and enjoyed the laugh
 

[quote=scotsman;213934]Well we've never seen it before and enjoyed the laugh!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I laughed the first time I heard it. I laughed the last time I heard it. Heck, in all the time I've been reading TOTV, I doubt there have been 10 jokes that I hadn't heard before. But that's okay.

Someone earlier, can't remember who, commented about a side effect of aging that strikes some of us. Something about Easter Eggs. Heck, I've been reading the same Agatha Christie novel for two years and I still can't believe all those nice people on the train killed that evil man. But, I do get to meet a lot of nice, new people. Anybody up for Murder She Wrote?




`

Okay, before anyone jumps on my arse, I know Alzheimer’s disease is a deadly serious problem and is likely what I have feared the most if I should reach "old age." Scares the hell out of me to think that I would lose what I now consider such valuable and diverse memories. And I'm sure many of you have suffered or are now suffering through the disease with family or friends. But then I've always felt that if you can't laugh at life a bit and especially its biggest demons, then life is going to kick you in the butt real hard.

Sorry if anyone was offended :bowdown:


`

The best thing about Alzheimer's is that you get to make new friends every day.

This is meant to be a joke.!!!!!!!!!! Duh

I agree Muncle. My family has had our share of bad luck with health issues and the only thing that kept us sane..is our sense of humor.

Keedy,

This is not "The Gong Show." This is the "Just for Fun" forum.

And gryoung has been bringing us funny little jokes and stories for a very long time. He's been doing a great job for us, along with others who come here to share things that have made them laugh. They are kind enough to pass along a little something that might bring a laugh to someone else. That's what happens in the "Just for Fun" forum and it has always worked really nicely. (Well, there was that one time, a long time ago, when I was inspired by someone's post and I ended up writing a dissertation about farts....I don't know what came over me.... but I digress.)

Back to this little talkin' to that you are getting from me.....I do not understand the point of comments like yours and the one from Scotsman that you seemed to like so much. (Now it is my turn to click on the little, yellow, bewildered thingy >>>:shrug:)

Keedy, I am not trying to start something. Really. I am trying to stop something. Think about it. If you are at a party and someone tells a story or joke that you may have already heard, do you loudly announce to everyone within earshot that the story or joke is not worthy because YOU have heard it before? I would hope not. So like I said, think about it.

Boomer (and what am I doing typing after midnight? I should know better. I just got back today from vacation and being incommunicado. And now suddenly I am typing after midnight. Uh oh. Not good. Good night.)

Agree
 

Thanks . . Boomer You saved me 10 minutes and said it much better than I would have. I felt my life span could be extended if I would have a belly laugh like that every mourning, only to have it shortened by the very next two replies.

You are quite welcome. Sometimes I just feel the need to stand up and be counted. I have been around this board forever and I do not want us to lose our fun.

And, btw, I am going to digress here for a minute so anybody who does not like that idea, just don't read past this point. I tend to digress a little from time to time and this is for the Virginians......

I just want to say to you that I recently spent two nights in your wonderful Virginia city of Charlottesville. We were on our way back from Rodanthe, NC. We toured Monticello and also Madison's home. When I think about our Founding Fathers, I always wonder if the times made the men or the men made the times. All that genius in one place at the exact same time. Wow!

I am thankful that this defining part of our history is being so beautifully kept there in Charlottesville. And the countryside is so wonderful to drive thorough on the way to visit the homes of those men who wrote our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution.

...just wanted to throw that in here for you and now I better go unpack. And I better get out of here before I get into trouble for hijacking or something. .....never could color inside the lines.

Boomer

There is a reason that Private Messages are available to people in this forum. Unless of course, public spankings are still used these days.

Thank-you for the reminder, George. I did get a chuckle and edited my first post to say as much.

Keedy, I didn't know you were two-faced.

Well Pilgrim...I traded up. : )

______________________
Keedy, I'm talking about your new face (John Wayne) replacing your photo. Just a joke. Afterall, isn't this forum called, Just for Laughs!

Sorry...I guess I'm getting spooked because I've been lectured to a couple of times here. Plus I was ordered to remove my signature ...:o

___________________
Well, your new face looks good! Welcome back........:o

Thanks,some people actually think I look like the Duke.:confused: