Will we "Fit In?"
 

My mother-in-law recently moved to The Villages. She is in her early 80s and quite active. My wife and I are considering selling our business in Panama and moving to The Villages in the near future so that we can help care for her as she gets older.

I have recently applied for an English teaching job at the Charter School (I used to teach college English at University of North Carolina-Wilminton) and my wife has applied as an RN at the medical center (she had been an ER nurse for twenty years before me moved to Panama).

Our biggest concern is that while we are certainly not "youngsters" (late forties), we might not fit in to a community specifically designed for retirees. We don't want to move to a community and feel like outcasts because we are still working and are not ready to start our retirement. On our previous visits to The Villages we were very impressed as to how friendly everybody was, and the community looks like a great place to live. We would be very interested in hearing from anybody who had similar concerns before moving to the Villages and what their experiences have been since they arrived.

Thanks!

I'm the "baby" in my mah-jongg group. My bridge group ranges from mid-30s to 90. I'm the only non-widow in my ladies group. I have my own business and it keeps me pretty busy (fortunately, I can make my own schedule). I don't have the funds to participate in a lot of the trips, dinners, etc. Even so, I'm accepted by all and they really don't care that I don't quite "fit." You'll find that here it is more a matter of interests than it is a matter of age. Heck, my friends even accept the fact that I'm a diehard liberal (a true rarety in TV!). The people here are truly that friendly and giving of themselves.

Also remember that you don't have to insulate yourselves to TV. Through the school, you'll meet others in their 40s; ditto through the hospital. So, you'll be able to pick and choose your friends and amount of time you want to spend in your activities.

So. c'mon down and enjoy the scenery, the people, the activities and being with your mother while you can. She's a lucky woman and so are you guys to be able to be there for her.

I'm 60, Mrs is 53... both still work part time. I'm VERY active in fitness. We have made incredible friends at the Colony Fitness center... all still work and are "young", a ton of fun and all Villagers. nevertheless, there is still some adjustment ,,, best decision we ever made.:pepper2:

I believe TV folks are pretty accepting and diverse, just my opinion.

Thanks for all the great feedback!

Cappyjon431: I am from Panama, in my mid 50's and plan to relocate from NJ to The Villages this year. Would love to meet with you and your wife if you decide to visit The Villages again! I am quite comfortable moving to The Villages, after having visited for a week 3 consecutive years.

:wave:You sound like a warm, loving and friendly couple. Why, you sound like TVers already. Please come to TV! You'll fit right in and love the place.

This was also a concern for me and my wife. Me just shy 55, she 51. We moved early because we couldn't wait and they made an exception for us because 55 is literly around the corner. We have found that it really does not make a bit of difference. We have made friends of all ages, close to ours, and some 10-20 years past us.

One thing I have heard on more than one occasion. "We wish we had moved down earlier like you guys did."

Oh, and in the squares in the evening. There is every age from 1-101+.

I am 52, bought a house 2 years ago that I use as a get away a few days a month. I am planning to move permanently to the Villages within a year and feel perfectly comfortable. People of all ages are very accepting and welcoming here. I have started getting involved in a few activities and aside from the good natured ribbing I take about being the "kid", everyone has been great. Don't let age be a determining factor- just move in and start to enjoy!

Fitting in
 

While TV certainly is a great place for adults of any age to live, there are a few things to consider. I too, recently moved here and still work full-time, being only 55. My 50 year old wife is fortunate in that she no longer has to work. Our neighbors are great, and the reputation that Villagers have for being friendly is very true. We've found, however, that while most everyone is very friendly they still have their own circle of friends, and developing the type of friendships that you undoubtedly have in Panama is not that easy and will take a fair amount of time. We've found that joining some clubs has resulted in basically the same scenario - friendly, but yet having already having their groups established. Being at work during the day can make it difficult, although working locally at the school and hospital may help alleviate that as you'll be meeting and working with local folks. In my case, I work well out of town so don't get an opportunity to develop relationships with fellow workers/neighbors. Also, while I mentioned our neighbors couldn't be nicer, most all of them are in their 70's and while they stay active, they don't get out and do they type of activities that we like to do on a regular basis. From what I hear, having neighbors similar to you in age and activity level can make a big difference, as well as building a new home and having neighbors who are basically in the same situation as you are. While both my wife and I are glad we made the the move when we did (as TV is still an outstanding place to live) vs. waiting 5 or 10 years, and really like living here, the amount of time it's taking to develop the relationships we thought we would have is a bit disconcerting.

I hear your thoughts and I understand. BUT when I think of my realtionships in life very, very few are my neighbors. Most come from my circles of interest. For example I have about 20 guys (and a couple of women) who I can call for golf. I ride my bike either alone with my wife or with a couple of work friends. Etc. Etc.

Granted it's nice to be accepted by new people who may have their established cliques but I'm a bit surprised that it has been tough for you. Thanks for the heads up as we move to TV.

If you are still working, the majority of the others are out playing. They will no doubt ask you to come play with them a few times. If you decline their offers to play because you have to work, they will stop asking.

Looking forward!!!!!
 

We have just recently bought and are building as we type. We are both retired and are very active. Both being 52 does not worry us at all about being the babies and not meeting new friends. We see nothing but unlimited opportunities for activity and new friends at TV.

I think that you will have a great time and meet as many friends as you want to meet.

R&C

Hi Russ, I remember you asking about different options. Did y'all find a home?

Age will be an issue only if you allow it to be.

I have a friend here in TV whose mother who lives with her parttime is close to 100. I had an opportunity to chat with her mother one on one some time ago and I found so many wonderful things about her that interested me so much. Her grandson (my friends son) is a published author who is very much interested in saving the environment. He must have learned his green attitude from his grandmother. She is so conservative in use of items and money and when they recently put in a pool she was careful in seeing that the plants that were dug up were rescued. She is also the cook at their home and a gardener who raises many herbs for cooking. (I love to cook and garden too) She has a personal Ohio history just like me and she is very interested in her investments and checks them every day on her computer. Her daughter dropped by the other day and her mother texted her twice during her visit. She is up on technology for sure because she recently researched hearing aids and will share that with me according to her daughter. (The older friend is now at her own home in Venice Florida, but will be returning soon)

I have two good friends from this family and I am working on some young ones in the same family. The little granddaughters (and great granddaughters) visited last spring break and I was able to make their aquaintance and also do their portraits. At that time I also met their lovely mother who is an excellent parent and sweet person. The oldest little girl is already a spelling finalist at the age of seven and I am looking forward to seeing the three little girls (and their parents) again this spring break. I have kept up with activities through a blog that their parents keep that is channeled to me by my friend. I hear that the oldest little one wanted to dress like Sarah Palin at Halloween which is somewhat at odds with her parents politics. I love independent thinking!

I like all of these women, little and big, and call them all friends. I am glad that I didn't let their age keep me from knowing them. I now have such sweet friends from four generations...all in the same family.

I don't want to hijack the thread but...

Heading down May 15-30. It is our intent to buy something if we see it or at least put $ on a lot and start building within the year. I'm working part time as an RN up here (still have full time IT job as well). Plan on moving down for good in Jan 2012. 650 days and counting!

Good for you! So glad to hear your news. We will be here when you are this time.

2012??? We will try not to get older so we can be your friends!!:wave:

You're already my friends! We will definitely try to get together in May. I'll e-mail my phone #.

Yea! All best wishes.

Russ Boston we are planning to move to TV about the same time frame. Most of my decicsion is because of my retirement in 2011 and the way real estate and the rest of the economy. Did the economy have any effect on your date to move. I wanted to jump in and buy now and try to carry two houses but it seems to me prices aren't going up any time soon.

The only part the economy is playing is that I might buy now (lower prices) and carry the other house (wait until homes recover). I'm also retiring from my current job in Jan 2011 (the year I'll be 55). So the year is fixed but when to buy my TV home is optional. Best of luck!

Hi Redwitch, glad you're liberal!
 

If we move to TV,we are concerned about being surrounded by people who feel the need to make political comments that we find offensive. We keep our religion and politics to ourselves yet today there seems to be a lack of civility when it comes to these topics.

:wave:Springfield,
Please don't worry. Perhaps, ocassionally, "there is the blue one who won't accept the green one for living with the black one trying to be a skinny one."

But most of us are everyday people.
:welcome:

I think that the over 55 bunch of us are about the same as people everywhere. Some of us are more polite and compassionate than others. Some of us are more rude and inconsiderate than others. I think that living a good while gives us a little more experience in dealing with each other and stronger opinions but whether we share them with everyone is a matter of common sense and how much we drink.

Thanks, that's good to hear!
 

I'm still figuring out how to post messages and do "threads." I feel like I'm getting to know some of you. One of favorite quotes is..."There are no strangers, only friends we haven't met"

Hi Graciegirl:
I have been reading the forums just to get a feeling for The Villages before my wife and I move in about a year or so. You have answered some of my posts and others and you always have a good good comment, never seem negative about anything, and have insite that others need. Is there anything that bothers you? Don't get me wrong I think its great. I'm positive about most stuff but you are way above me on the attitude meter. Keep it up.

I purchased my villa after being in The Villages for only 3 days! I was only 50 years old but never worried about "fitting in". I like people and treat them the way I would want to be treated. No matter where you live you will find people that are not to your liking. I don't choose my friends by their size, shape, or age. I choose my friends by the way they treat me and others. I am pretty sure you will "fit in" anywhere in The Villages.