‘Deprogramming’ a relative in a cult.
 

A very old friend of mine, is at his wit’s end with his 27 year old granddaughter (her parents are deceased)...who has apparently become deeply involved in a cult.

Since I feel very fortunate that I’ve never personally had this particular problem, all I can do for my friend is to lend a sympathetic ear…and try to do research to see if I can forward any helpful advice to him.

He has said that the most confusing part for him, is that she’s not a drug/alcohol abuser, acts normal and kind in a lot of other ways…but is absolutely closed off and becomes irate to ANY criticism (even factual ones) of her group.

Anyone ever go through this, or know someone who did, and if so how did you/they handle it…and was it successful?

This particular link seems to cover a lot of the same issues and problems...that he’s described to me.

Cults (Poke Here)

There are folks who specialize in deprogramming, or there used to be. Some research may locate one. Sometimes the deprogrammers are former cult members. It is an extremely difficult procedure. Care must be taken about legal issues. It is tricky and does not always work.

I had a professor that seemed to specialize in the study of cults. This was while I was at the University of Nevada, Reno.

One thing. They are not all the same. What might help your friend's granddaughter might vary from the kind of cult involved.

Content Pages of the Encyclopedia of Religion and Social Science

Does the granddaughter live with your friend, her grandfather?
In what type of cult is she involved?
I'm not knowledgable regarding any type of cult, however, I would think for her to be reprogrammed, she would have to be somewhat receptive.
If the cult is "dangerous" could it be reported to authorities?
Is she so far gone that he could have her Baker Acted?

That situation is really so sad. Your friend really needs to speak with a professional.
Is there some kind of mental health facility or hospital near him where he could go speak with someone for advice?

Very difficult question. First at 27 she is going to have to be receptive to the idea of deprogramming and I expect that is not going to be easy.

Second is the question of what is the "cult"... not everyone would agree on that I am sure.

In the case of a minor it would be easier, but still have legal issues.

///

Before we go too far down the road of "Baker Act" lets not forget that the person is a 27 year old, an adult, and has the right to her own beliefs.

Exactly, I am an atheist and my brother has a ThD and is a retired Southern Baptist minister (we have some interesting conversations). I disagree with those who say Christianity is a cult. However, there are cults who claim to be Christians.

I do think that a disinterested and qualified 3rd party would have to make a determination if a person is a threat to themselves or others before considering actions taken against their will.

Let's not forget the Parents and pastor of the teen that beat him to death trying to get him to denounce the devil, just a few years ago.

I believe in myself, my family and friends That's all I need to guide me start to finish

For those offering what appears as heart-felt suggestions, to a very disconcerting problem for my buddy...I thank you. :thumbup:

For the usual suspects, looking to get yet another thread they don't like closed... :wave:

Hope you hang in there. I had met an attractive black man hanging out outside the Humanities Building on the University of Nevada, Reno. He was very friendly and I was about 22 or so. Or even younger. We got to talking and he told me about a group of his friends who had an apartment near by who liked to talk about Philosophy.

So I went that afternoon to check it out. He had handed me a card that said Unification Church or something like that with the address.

Turned out they were the Moonies and he was the Chapter Head for Northern Nevada.

Some man at the apartment laid out the Moonies plan of uniting the races by interracial-marriages. Arranged marriages with the aim of procreation primarily and not romance.

I poked holes through the plan the best I could but still got invites from the black man for the Weekend Retreat and they had started phoning my parents with very insulting phone calls about my parents corrupting the youth. I finally picked up one of these calls and used language a sailor would be proud of.

These weekend retreats were where the Unification church brain washes people. A lot involved separating the target from his or her care givings or parents and friends.

I did talk in private through an essay about these experiences with that Sociology of Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno. He had wanted me to give a speech about it in front of the class but I said no feeling very uncomfortable about the whole experience. It only lasted about ten days if that. And just a couple of visits by me to this apartment near UNR as there was a very cute girl I was attracted to and the black man also played on that as much as he could. "She is going to be there...."

These "cults" do seem to target those they see as vulnerable. All the lonely people.... Jerome (the black man/Northern Nevada Unification Church Chapter head ) could tell that I was a man with few friends and he played on that for all it was worth.

Does look the Unification Church is more established in certain countries like South Korea. Probably would not be a "cult" there.

I did look up that man-- Jerome-- on Facebook and he got out of that world which was good for him.

There are different cults though and some can be extremely dangerous to get involved with in any way.

Not sure how the topic got switched to or at least zeroed in on religion.

This topic is discussed more and more every day in this country as folks try to hide from reality. Religion sometimes is used as a phoney crutch but further investigation would reveal it is a sham. NO religion condones much of any cult action. It has been used as an attraction but certainly not limited to that aspect of life.

I read a book on the Jonestown debacle and all the criteria listed fit.

Is there a boyfriend or girlfriend involved? This may be key to changing your friend's granddaughter's mind. If the BF or GF pulled her into the cult that might be a lot harder if she has a BF GF that can pull her out of it.

They used a lot of sexual politics those two afternoons to try to get me to commit more.

It is often the social misfits who get pulled into some of these cults. Depends though at what stage the cult is at. Some get very established and sophisticated.

Emily St. John Mandel's novel Station Eleven goes a lot into cult like thinking. It is set partially in the US after a flu wipes out most people in the world and leaves some towns to cults that develop because of the lack of law and order. There is a travelling group of actors and musicians who travel through some of these towns. They are a big part of the novel.

It might be a good read for this friend's granddaughter. It was a National Book Award finalist around 2014.


Also very well written and thoughtful about just about everything. Is one of the really deep books you find once in a great while.

Well-written post-apocalyptic dystopian novels are awesome, one of my favorite genres.

If she's a reader and this was suggested, it might very well plant that seed of doubt for her. From there, she could have the inspiration she needs to explore her "need" to affiliate with this cult.

Yes, Grumpy -- that is true. Everyone does have a right to believe in whatever they choose to believe in.

However, the Baker Act has nothing to do with age and possibly what someone believes in; it depends upon a bunch of things.
Regardless of how old a person is, if someone meets certain criteria, they can be Baker Acted.

It is usually whether the person is a danger to others and/or herself for the Baker Act to kick in. And then there is an adjudication if the patient needs further institutionalization made by an impartial judge.

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Some say that The Villages is like living in a cult....

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The most infamous cults in history - INSIDER

This is an interesting read about dangerous cults in recent history. There have been a large number of cults throughout history. Many now established religions started as cults.

By definition, religion is a cult as well as government worship.
Playing "follow the leader" and obeying external authorities are cultish.
Free-thinking individualism is, by definition, the anti-cult.

To deprogram a cultist/collectivist/tribalist you have to force them into "survival pressure" situations in order for them to use the authority of their own mind. Good luck with that...It is very diffi-cult.

Yes, I further down mentioned being a danger to ones self or others and if they are not, I have an issue with "deprogramming" someone against their will.

On an additional note, I am finding more and more with my research, that the quote I had in my original post of commonalities among cults...is almost scarily dead on. :ohdear:

For those that missed it...here it is again.

I have read two books, and several items on Jim Jones and Jonestown. Two things stand out....

Cult behavior almost always begins with the very best of intentions. Even these folks who followed Jones did good work at the beginning. Then

Gaslighting seems to be a required ingredient for establishing total control.

Once established the cult members hear nothing at all except themselves and their leaders. And remember, cult members all begin thinking they are doing good. Gaslighting them then corrodes and corrupts.