| Boomer |
04-08-2021 12:55 PM |
What will the Tater Tots dooooooo?
There was a time when school cafeterias had to limit ketchup packets, but not because of a shortage.
Brats in school cafeterias everywhere liked to stomp and squirt ketchup on the walls and in the halls and wherever they could leave a mess for somebody else to clean up.
The situation led to one of those group-punishment routines.
Not every kid had been involved in the Stomp ‘n’ Squirt Olympics — where distance counted, not only how far across the floor but how far up a wall you could make that ketchup go.
And so limitations were put in place. Ketchup packets were precisely doled out. Very limited.
Some kids complained, “NO FAIR!” — claiming they needed a whole lot of ketchup to make the school cafeteria food palatable.
Some boycotted the cafeteria and packed their lunches.
An underground network for scoring contraband ketchup packets did not take long to get up and running — a veritable cartel was soon in place.
Some kids decided to BYOB — whether they were sharing or selling was not as clear as when the vice-principal ordered the emptying of pockets by a suspect and found evidence. Being caught with a lot of packets could be strong evidence, while a lot of quarters could be argued as circumstantial evidence.
Ironically, it had often been said that in some states, ketchup could count as a vegetable on a school cafeteria menu. (Might not have been true. But maybe.)
I don’t know if school cafeterias still use those packets. Maybe they converted to ketchup pumping stations.
Now, with this ketchup shortage thing, will American school children, once more, be deprived of ketchup for their Tater Tots — and this time — through no fault of their own?
(Btw, the stomping of full milk cartons did not last long. It was much easier to catch the culprits and cartons of milk were much harder to smuggle and deal.)
Dante’s Inferno should have included school cafeteria duty as one of the Circles of Hell.
Boomer
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