Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages?
 

After a number of months of carefully planning, I am finally progressing to find a spot to move to The Villages on a more permanent basis along with the person that will be a spouse-type figure. (No, I am not legally married to the other person, but that is all besides the point!)

I keep reading various written posts as well as viewing imagery that stress the fact that once a couple (even a single person as well, through I can’t voice myself regarding that fact) moves to The Villages community, they will be making friends that they have never experienced first hand before, comparing to what it was like when they lived within the communities they came from. This notion presents an illusion that within a short period of time from the start of their official residency, these new residents will have a number of personal contacts that they can consider as their “friends”.

So I will ask this inquiry as I have yet to discover these facts myself. Once somebody does relocate to this Villages community, can a person and/or a couple really make these kinds of friends this quickly? I understand that if one engages is some form of activity be it playing a sport, becoming a participant is a organized group, or some other factor that requires social activity, one can make friends. But what would happen if this person/couple spends little time in such social activities, but one lives in the area just as a standard resident?

Both I as well as my domestic partner are working full time. (*gasp!*) We are employed outside of the community, meaning that we are away from home during the weekday hours, with an occasional weekend stance on the job. So while everyone is doing something during the weekday daylight hours such as playing golf or participating in a ceramics class, I, along with my “spouse” will be engaged in working at some facility that is far off from all of these forms of play and leisure.

I will state that having all of this leisure on hand is far from being unsettling or nothing to be desired. (In fact, it’s great!!) But let’s face it! I may not have the time to engage in all of these activities as I do have those personal responsibilities I must tend to that hold a first priority for my household.

The reason why I and my partner is moving to this Villages community is for various purposes, mostly because of financial elements. But those specific reasons can and will be discussed not here, but on another discussion thread that will be posted in the near future.

So if anyone can honestly speak up on this inquiry, I would deeply appreciate it as I know I am not the only person or persons that might want to know what they may be facing upon their arrival. So call this inquiry as one that can be considered as a public service.

Thank you to all!

-Abby and domestic partner Terry

First and foremost: meet your neighbors. Not all of them will become your personal best friends ever, but most, if not all, of them will be at least cordial. And they have friends. Arrange a Happy Hour one evening, and invite them over. Weekends or weekday evenings don't matter much to retirees, so if your schedule demands a Friday or Saturday cocktail party, so be it. YOU have to be the catalyst for finding a group to have some fun with, don't expect somebody else to do that work for you! Make an effort and then you may reap the rewards. Make sense?

Greetings Abby! I hope you and your D.A. enjoy the villages as much as my wife and I do.

We've found that friendships can be formed pretty quickly by associating with like-minded people. Many clubs and groups here--not all meet during the day; some are at night so if you work that would be an option open to you. Church is another option.

Don't limit your friendship-seeking to The Villages. We've formed some good friendships outside The Villages proper. Be prepared for a bit of a culture shock though; we were invited to a party last month about 40 miles or so from The Villages. We had directions given by the party-giver but quickly found that some of the roads were little more than paths, and the GPS seemed to be as confused as we were. A lot of fun once we got there but we were the only two non-Floridians there (and it was obvious) so we got quite a few amused looks. But the people were great. I've never been with people who warmed up so quickly to strangers.

Best of luck!

Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages?
 

Abbey, Terry;
A lot, in my opinion, depends on mindset. Keep an open mind, even to events/happenings that you don't necessarily love. View all 'events' as opportunities to make new friends.
We've been here 2 months: our neighbors welcomed us with open arms! Cocktail parties, dinners at neighbors in the first week.
Doesn't matter if you still work full-time. There are plenty of social 'opportunities after working hours.
Finally, I believe many of these people will be life-long friends. It's all up to
you !

Took us a while as covid came a month after moving here but joined a lot of clubs and made some great friends via the clubs

How did you make friends where you live now? TV isn’t much different than other parts of the country, just age groups, mostly 50s up to 100, and those under 18 visit for holidays.

I think making friends is very easy here. In a retirement community people have lots of extra time on their hands and willing to get to know and spend time with you. I like the suggestion of inviting neighbours to a cocktail party (it can be outside if needed). If you have a dog, that's always an easy way to get to know people in dog parks or just walking around the neighbourhood. Enjoy "Florida's friendliest hometown"!

I would like to hear Terry’s opinion.

Abby and Terry
We are Brits and can only be in TV 6 months a year.
Every visit we have made new friends and acquaintances.
We have great neighbours - and these have changed since we bought 6 years ago.
Most people are friendly - so say hi and conversations start up.
Our biggest problem is fitting all the social engagements in.
It really doesn’t take much to fit in.
Ray

When people move here most want to start making new friendships right away. So friendships seem to happen at a faster rate.
We became friends with more people in TVs, in one year, than 24 yrs in Minnesota (outside of church & work).
Once you start getting involved with activities you enjoy you will meet people that you want to hang around and vice versa.
We get invited to parties, get-togethers around a fire pit, dinners, Sunday morning breakfasts w/ 15-20 people, cookouts, etc. We invite singles in our groups to have holiday meals with us.
Be friendly, speak to people and it will just happen.

Also...each state has a contact person so you can join the club and meet others from you 'home' state. Our State of Alabama Club meets once a month at a Rec center for dinner and games. Our Alabama Roll Tide Club will have 50-70 people meet each Saturday to watch the football games on the B-I-G screen.

Our experience has been this: In our previous neighborhood, people drove to their homes, parked in their garages and we never saw them again. Here, people are out walking, at the pool, chatting at the postal station, wherever. There, we had a Facebook group but people didn’t utilize it for socializing. Here, they are announcing driveway parties, posting open invites to go to local festivals/events, looking for someone to complete a foursome for golf, asking for recommendations or offering help. There, people were very busy with jobs, kids, schools, just everything. Here, people tend to have more time to connect with neighbors
. Yes, even people who are still working full time. There, friends were scattered throughout the county and even in neighboring counties. Here, friendships often begin in your village. I am not saying that the Villages is a magical place at all, it’s just that the circumstances of people living here have changed and aligned, which is more conducive to forming friendships.

I moved to the Villages as a single, newly divorced. With knowing no one, in a matter of a few months I had made over a dozen new wonderful friends. I think the Villages is the easiest place to meet people. Everyone is new, so most people are warm and friendly. When I first moved in, several neighbors came over introducing themselves. Everytime I went out to a restaurant, I met people. I also joined MVP gym and met many more there. I have since moved, but in my 2 1/2 years there, I feel I made many life long friends. Good luck!

Certain activities and clubs lead to meeting a lot of friends, water volleyball, bingo, trivia, and of course your local neighborhood as well as your church good luck

New Friends
 

Join Clubs that meet when you can attend.
ie: Improvisational Theater - Most Mondays 6:30 - 8:20 PM

Mike

Might depend on one's definition of a 'Friend'. Is that someone that you enjoy recreation activities with on occasion or is it someone with whom you have a deep, caring and trusting relationship with?

Live your life, doing the things you enjoy doing. Be open and friendly. You will find others with whom you feel, to use one my mother's expressions, "simpatico". You'll find them at work, and at play. Unless you wish to be a hermit, this place will put you in contact with a lot of people. Conversations ensue. Shared interests become evident.
It's a lot harder not to make friends in TV than it is to make friends.

I'll chime in my 2 cents.

We've been here about 4 months and are pretty much same situtation as you. Here's my take.

There is a lot to do, just never at the times we can participate. So much so all there is that we can participate in is sometimes a market, sometimes the squares for dinner or a band. By sometimes, obviously with the holidays it's not a lot, plus we really don't like eating out all the time.

We have joined a couple clubs that are of interest, however many of their activities also are when we are working...there are a couple that have been on the weekend however again the timing has been off. and looking at the Jan/Feb calendars it appears that we again will be on our own.

We have found that yes many are pretty nice around here, but also a lot aren't all that out going. We have found all things, have a couple aquaintences and that's about it.

No one has invited us over for anything. I keep on hearing about a block party in February but honestly my block is pretty much 'zzzzzzzzzzzzz" .

With all that said, does it really matter. To my wife yes she just lost her BFF in August which in part is why we moved back to Florida, me it's whatever. No different than anywhere else....and I'm the more social one LOL.

We've tried and well it takes time. Nothing really helps but time. but if you need to have something to occupy yourself with a lot of people just go sit in any roundabout LOL...

and by the way, we seem to be younger than most around here so that could have something to do with their perspective of us?

We are always lookng for people to hang out with, so HMU if you want.

After you get off work, head to one of the bars at the squares. Buy a few rounds of drinks and you'll have more friends than you can handle.

You have to make the effort. If you work full time and then come home and stay there you will not meet anyone. You must initiate contact with people. Your neighbors are just that, neighbors. It takes effort to make real friends wherever you live. There is no magic here to making friends, just alot of potential friends close by. It's all up to the 2 of you. Real friends are priceless and hard to find anywhere no matter your age or working status.

The best way to make a friend is to be one. Sounds easy enough. Even if you are out during the day and unable to join groups, you can still meet people. Go for a walk and you will find other walkers. Sit on your front porch and you will be sure to see your neighbors who are out for a walk. Host a driveway party. Print out some flyers stating the date and time. Put out a few chairs and offer simply beverages or suggest a BYO. Offer a smile and a kind word and watch the magic happen. Good luck.

Yep, it would be good to hear from Terry also to see what he has to say.

We met our best friends in Dunkin Doughnuts while on the way home from our second Lifestyle visit. We bought 1 1/2 later and are moving down permanently in April. Every time we come down we get together. Have also met many of are neighbors while at are home.

Friendly
 

If you are friendly you're likely to find friendly neighbors.

Strike up conversations at your neighborhood pool, go to driveway parties, some neighborhoods have meet and greet parties at the rec centers, play golf, join clubs, making new friends is very easy here, just keep religion and politics out of your conversations.

Is there a reason to believe that Terry is a man?????

Get out and about when you aren't working. Always be positive! Offer help to others.

My best advice is go to the squares often, drink a lot, and place a flag on your golf car.

I guess that's a way to go about it, depending on the type of friends you want to make.

If you are an outgoing person, you'll make loads of acquaintances who will have the potential to become friends. If you are more reserved, you will still have the opportunity within your neighborhood. If you weren't a social butterfly before you moved here, don't expect to suddenly become one because you're in The Villages. I'm a bit shy with strangers, but find a lot of friendly people wherever I go. I also see people that I know by first glance that I don't want anything to do with. That's usually because of a slogan on a t-shirt or golf cart flag. I actually kind of appreciate their advertising who they are so I don't waste my time talking to someone I have nothing in common with. But yeah, it's easier to meet people here than in many places if you're open to it, polite, and kind

This word that you have aptly spoken is like an apple of gold in a setting of
 

carved silver. Alot about the villages is smoke and mirrors. You need to be there to experience the negative and the positive of residing at villages.

APP store has lots of app’s on “How to make friends”.:)

Find Villages clubs that have members with similar outlooks as you have. There are many clubs in the Villages.

Most of my friends I made here in the Villages were at the various local dog parks and/or while out walking with the different pooches we have had here. Unfortunately many of the dog park friends have moved or passed away or their dogs crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.

You mean they walked across to the Canadian side of Niagra Falls to be with Barefoot????? Can you ask them to fetch my lobsters from her????:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

Just be decent to everyone you meet and pick a few like minded persons to be your friends.

The Villages is pretty large, your friends will likely not be your neighbors.

Yup. My wife wants to schedule an open house/cocktail party now that we're coming down more often. It's a great way to meet the neighbors. We'll probably do it later this winter...

Sadly, we missed the last "block party" on out street by a week this past summer...

We -were- able to see/hear some of it thru our video doorbell... Looked like fun!

Finding friendship is as natural as the sunshine , not just the similar like minded but the different add much spice, liberal friends tell me I am just to the left of Attila the Hun, I take it in good graces but I do wish they would tell me how many transfusions they get every week to make up for their bleeding hearts

Just don't be a prick (like entitled, know-it-all, etc,) and you should be OkeyDokey!!

I've been living here for a little over two years. My next door neighbor and I became "instant pals" even before I signed the down payment check for the house. I'm pretty young for our area (60 living in the "historic" section), so most of my neighbors are old enough to be my moms and dads. We have a very close-knit neighborhood - we watch out for each other, some of us have keys to the others' homes "just in case," we'll stop literally in the middle of the road to yap with each other if we're out there at the same time, and so on.

For me, they're not the same kind of "friendship" as I had with the kids in the neighborhood when I was growing up. But - I don't see any of those folks anymore, I occasionally check in with them on their facebook pages to say Happy Birthday or congrats or condolences, but that's it.

The friendships we have now, here in the Villages, are still fairly new. We've only known each other for 2 years (or less with some of the newer homeowners). But the friendships are still neighborhood friendships. We're like family. It's very nice.

Making Friends
 

I think it depends on where you are moving to. In newer neighborhoods there is a sense of building a community and people are more open to friendships. Typically people all tend to be new to the neighborhood and so everyone is new. We made the mistake of moving into an area we liked but most of our neighbors are 8-10 years older. We retired in 2019 before Covid and still found that the people in our neighborhood all had their golf groups and friends. I had heard about driveway parties but where I live there wasn't events that we were invited to and I didn't see neighborhood functions even before Covid. As such although we live between 466 A and 44 all of our friends are mostly in Fenny, Marsh Bend, Linden, and the newer areas. This is because these people were more our age and more open to forming friendships. I have tried to be a good neighbor and talk to those who live close. I have invited neighbors over for dinner and game nights but no one has reciprocated in the 2 and a half years we have lived in our home. I have brought meals to those who live nearby when they were sick, baked holiday goodies and brought them to neighbors. People in my neighborhood are friendly but not that social I think because they are very comfortable with the social groups they have established. If I had it to do over again I would move into a newly established area so we could be part of the making of the community from the ground up.

As you see, rather than reply with their experiences you get the 1000 opinions on "how to make friends" - Welcome to the Villages. LOL