Dogs vs Cats
 

Happy to report, thanks to my 4 legged fur-ball Moses, all creatures big and small on TV screen have been kept at bay.( Elephants, dogs, geicos etc).... Are kitties that ??? smart????? Please provide pics

Cats are all that and no bag of poo for you!

-they don't bark
-no need for a human walker with a 100' lead so the dog can get all up in your yard.
-no need to mark every lawn
-non biters
-can't see em or know they exist
-eat mice
-eat small anything that moves or at least bats it into submission
-can be left alone forever- they don't need anyone basically.

Who wants a cat?

MEOW

We love cats. Down through the years, our seven cats knew how to get anything they wanted, including opening doors and turning on water faucets.
We also love dogs. Three of our five dogs (all large retrievers) were too mild mannered and accommodating to cause anything any harm or get into any trouble at all. The other two were just dumb!
Loved them all. None of them was interested in watching tv, though. Picture of two of the smart ones.

get Dog-TV, it also has programming cats will enjoy, too. $5 a month & you get to watch your pet do silly things. sometimes the little things mean a lot. :doggie:

ps: if no Comcast, Pluto-TV has a pet channel 24/7 :a040:

Obviously loved.

of course no bag of poo when delivered to your own yard

the super smart ones can do many things! i knew a german shorthaired pointer that could climb the chain link run fence, scale the top & leap over. after we had to put him in a more enclosed space, he taught himself how to open the latch on the kennel gate. VERY smart creatures, probably much like your 2 babies

Free cat TV channel on UTube TV. Our Himalayan will sit for hours if we let her watching until she falls asleep, and falls off the chair arm.

Dogs have Masters, Cats have slaves, we have had 7 cats and loved every one of them, great companions.

Giggle, snort.

Didn't know about dog TV, lordy Moses will love!

Pool patrol.... Geckos, ants pretty much anything that moves gone.

Tell that to my daughter, who was constantly being bitten by her roommate's cat...

But then again, that cat was an @sshole...

She'd be sitting in your lap, calm as could be, getting petted. And just like that, she'd snap and start clawing and biting you... Freakin' psycho...

Their bathroom is in the house. Disgusting. That’s all

Evil kitty has control over all.

And you have an outhouse? - good lord people.

And let’s not forget the counter, when u own a cat, they surf the counters. Anyone who says their cat doesn’t do that is delusional, unless of course they made the cat so fat it can’t jump that high.
While ur sleeping ur litter box is on the tables and counters.
That’s the reason I hate potlucks.

We had a tiny cat that couldn't jump up to the counters. :)

Pretty sure he/she knows how to flush... As opposed to scooping crap out of sand IN one's home...

Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.

Yipsters!

We had a cat for 14 years and he never got on the table or counters.
He could scale our 6' fence so I know he could have jumped on the counters if he wanted to. I guess he just wasn't curious enough to try. We have cameras set up to watch when we're not at home.
:bigbow::bigbow:

I installed a permanent doggy door for our little dogs and our cat.
We kept the cat litter box on the lanai... NOT in the house.
:ohdear::ohdear::ohdear:

Absolutely perfect! Did you read you cat’s diary?! Gave me a good laugh. Thanks!

We once had a poodle like that. She got where we couldn't leave her at a kennel if we traveled because then she wouldn't eat. This was over 30 yrs ago. She was super-smart!

Isn't that where your bathroom is? Lol

Anyone know why Sammy Jo's in Mulberry Plaza has been shut down for "Maintenance"?

So funny!!! 😂

Hilarious!
 

Thanks for posting this! I needed a good laugh today. Loved it!:clap2:

This reminds me of the parrot/burgler/ dog joke, wish I could find, I'm sure everyone has heard it. Cunny

And I suppose u stay up all night as well

Unless his/her bathroom is a box of sand, your analogy fails...

You are unique

Yeah but I don’t try to cover it up when I’m finished and rarely do I ever have to hock up a fur ball

And here is the classic:

How to pill your cat…………

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make a house call.

I wrap pill in delightful treat, treat gone, pill found later under my pillow....smart dog, dumb owner..

What
 

“Henri, le Chat Noir: The Existential Musings of an Angst-Filled Cat” is now a book by Will Braden. . .

Henri can be found in his YouTube videos, sharing his cynical observations of his world.

Videos of Henri capture him in various situations that cause him much angst or ennui — like going to the vet or witnessing a Halloween party. Then there is the “other” cat he must endure in the same house. Henri thinks of that cat as “The Imbecile” — that word sounds perfect in French. . .

You hear Henri’s thoughts as voiceovers in (subtitled) French which makes the videos even funnier. Henri sounds so aloof and put upon. (I don’t speak French and I think Henri is from Seattle, but French is perfect for angst-ridden Henri’s thoughts.)

Henri is disgusted by his owner — who does not own a tuxedo. Henri is, of course, a tuxedo cat.

If you need a laugh this morning, find Henri the Existential Cat with a search that will take you to his videos on YouTube.

Boomer

PS: I was trying to title this post “What is that cat thinking?” but I bumped submit, too soon, accidentally causing that dangling ‘what’ that cannot be edited.

You forgot to add "How to give your dog a pill"...

1. Take pill

2. Wrap pill in cheese or bacon

3. Make dog beg... :icon_wink:

Forget this on list.


The prowl, they crap in neighborhood flower beds, they don’t bark so they get break, the kill hundreds of song birds, the kill baby rabbits.

Dogs will love you unconditionally, cats could not care less. If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.