retirement jobs for Villagers
 

I have been considering a job for retirement. Something I can do as well as anyone. Something that pays a lot and requires no special skills, abilities, or training. It should also require no work whatsoever. I have come up with a few options. Can anyone suggest some others?

Jobs currently on the list:
1. Influencer
2. Life coach
3. Public intellectual
4. Spiritual advisor
5. gigolo
A few have occurred to me since the invasion of Ukraine
6. Oligarch
7. Crony
Crony oligarch seems the best paying, but that requires political connections. Now, politician requires no special skills or training, and it can be done with a minimum of work, so it might be on the list, but I refuse to sink below gigolo.

enforcer?

there are lots of openings for "village idiots". they tend to get run over, fall off ladders or just wander away.

I imagine that being a gigolo will require some physical work. Maybe a lot of physical work. Depends on the employer.

If your the senior gigolo you get others to do your work.

Being a "wingman" isn't too bad of a job as long as the person you are backing up isn't an idiot......

Matchmaker
Match up single guys with cougars

I really wanted to be a gigolo but my wife won't let me.

😟

Thanks for my first laugh of the morning!
What about being a participant of multiple reality shows?

Back in the ussr
 

moderator

[QUOTE=Mortal1;2071661]there are lots of openings for "village idiots". they tend to get run over, fall off ladders or just wander away.[/QUOTE
After much thought, comment and support of family and friends at this time I would like to announce that I am running for president of the "Village Idiots" union.. your support is appreciated,, thank you ]

How about just " idiot"

How ‘bout Director of Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity (DIE) for this site? You can be sure the “right” opinions get expressed by the “right” people and that no one strays lest they be disappeared.

The only qualification is Amish-like shunning ability.

Well, the wife says #5 must be deleted from your list as it is contrary to your criteria. Being a gigolo DOES require special skill(s), ability and training.

You could have started the Internet...but too late
 

How the Internet was started.

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.

And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads
and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

And that's the truth.

High Paying jobs
 

Benevolent dictator .... keep looking in paper for this position .... has lots of benefits

Fluffer for a gigolo. Gonna really need one around here or a bunch of blue pills and maybe a couple bags. “Double bagger”= one on your head in case her’s falls off!

Replying from NJ
 

LOL. This is funny!
Hoping to retire the next few months so I’m interested in T.V. Sipping tea from my couch in NJ and read this post. Wanted to make a comment about the job, “Influencer”. Apparently you have no idea what they do. 😜 🤡
I’ve been corporate and used computers all my career and starting a YouTube channel to be an influencer is HARD WORK!
Thank goodness for them! ❤️👍
I know of a job where you just buy a LARGE spray bottle of sunscreen - you’d walk around squirting and annoying people. Sounds like you fit well in this position. 👍🤣

Jobs currently on the list:
1. Influencer
2. Life coach
3. Public intellectual
4. Spiritual advisor
5. gigolo
A few have occurred to me since the invasion of Ukraine
6. Oligarch
7. Crony
Crony oligarch seems the best paying, but that requires political connections. Now, politician requires no special skills or training, and it can be done with a minimum of work, so it might be on the list, but I refuse to sink below gigolo.[/QUOTE]

Sorry that was is taken but perhaps position of dictator can still be had.