Looking to Move with Nervous Mother
 

We are considering moving to TV and will be there in just over a week on a pre-Lifestyle visit our Lifestyle visit is in Mid-September. My mother who will be 90 yo in a few months lives with us and is getting nervous about the move. She currently uses senior transportation to take her to doctors appointments and daily to the local senior center. At the senior Center she exercises has lunch and talks with friends. Are there services similar to this in TV for those no longer driving? Or would we just drop her off at a rec center and pick her up later? Any information would be appreciated. Thanks

Transportation for doctor visits is seriously lacking in The Villages.

Just my opinion as a 15-year resident: The focus of The Villages lifestyle is on the active over-55 population. Although I think Sumter County has some sort of transit service requiring a reservation, there is no widespread readily accessible system for those who no longer drive. Ironically, while the houses are built with many features for aging in place, the services needed to do so have not kept pace. Many senior residences have been built that do provide for elders' needs. But moving to a facility negates the ability to age in place.

There are paid services and do recall one that is free.

Senior Transport In The Villages, FL - GaeLynns Home

Care

Transportation - DOEA

There is no public transportation service like that. You could drop her off at a rec center for an exercise or yoga class. Classes last about an hour. During high season, a line forms as much as an hour ahead of time. Classes are first come first served, no reservations.

None of the rec centers serve food. Some have a restaurant nearby.

https://elderhelpers.org/index9.php?...IQobChMI6MeDn7

You could try this resource.

Don't do this to her. She is living a very full life for her age where she is and that will come to an end if you move her here.

My husband was hospitalized twice, each time for about 16 days, then into rehab for four weeks and unfortunately I have macular and can no longer drive. I am fortunate and do live in a Village that has a volunteer service for transportation but you have to wait for a period of time to get accepted into the system. I had to pay Uber and a taxi service to just get to the hospital to see him, a matter of 12 miles, and it cost me $12 to $15 each way, plus tip.

In my honest opinion, this is not the place for someone who can no longer drives and has an active social life and a senior center. No such thing here. TV is for the active retiree.

There are independent-to-assisted living facilities in the Villages which might be more suitable than a stand-alone home. They allow people to transition when they can no longer do things independently. They have a housekeeping staff, a cafeteria usually with food included in the monthly fee, barber/beauty salon, library, other communal living spaces, and of course basic medical facilities (on-site nursing staff, medication dispensary, emergency medical equipment, etc) in addition to the private modest apartment for the resident.

These facilities also have transportation to shopping centers, the town squares, Walmart, and so on.

An independent living facility would be appropriate if she doesn't need any regular medical assistance. But, you can expect to pay about $6,000 per month, which would include meals. Note that only a few of them offer access to The Villages amenities, such as the rec centers. I would suggest visiting Sumter Senior Living on Rt 466A and Watercrest on Rt 466 while you are here.

Thanks for all the helpful and informative replies, and links. We will stop at the Sumter Senior Living Center while down there to discuss what is available.
This is not an easy situation trying to do the best for my mother while still trying to enjoy our lives. My sister sure has it easy, oh well! (no, my mother will not go stay with her).

I agree, my impression is that TV is built for an active life style - but as soon as you need services eg public transportation etc this place is not for you. It is expected that you move into an assisted living facility (or you have a live-in caregiver) which is what my aunt did. Although she so much wanted to age in the house she lived in for 25 years.

About Us | Right at Home | Clermont, FL

We use Right at Home and they will take their clients out to places.

And there are a lot of these companies serving people here in the Villages and surrounding communities.

In Home Care | The Villages, FL | Ocala, FL

In-Home Care The Villages, FL | Home Health Care Services

Don't give up on moving to Florida. If you reword your request you might find you get answers from people who have been through what you are going through, and have found retirement communities that have what you are looking for ..... but TV is not the place for her. You could also do a search for retirement communities offering what you need. I wish you well.

Not much to do for a non active senior. No real transportation, or places to hang out all day, except maybe the pool. Some centers have games and activities, but only for a short periods of time...Nice of you to bring her, but she might be missing her old lifestyle and friends rather quickly.

Glad to know of these services. Perhaps they were not there when my aunt was alive. My uncle and she moved to TV in 1992. She looked after him until he died but when she needed help later, it was either not available or not affordable - I’m not sure which. She had to sell her beloved home to move into an assisted/independent living facility.

You are making a major change to an active persons life style. If she stayed home and watched TV then I would say ok, but since her friends will not be here and transportation maybe a problem I would say it is a no go in terms of her needs.

Senior rides and transportation: 5 alternatives to driving

You can probably hire a senior aide for a few hours each day to take your Mom places and stay with her.

And the Palliative Hospices have volunteers who do this. Cornerstone Hospice and Palliative Care But these are hopefully for much later.

Hospice, Palliative Care, & End of Life Services | VITAS Healthcare

You might care to review each of these internet searches re senior centers like it sounds your Mother is used to:

wildwood fl senior center at DuckDuckGo

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=lady+lake+...r&t=h_&ia=maps

some of the needles in the haystack seem to offer activities, lunch and camaraderie

We were in the same situation, mom had choices for 3 senior centers within5 minutes of house. They had pick up service from 2 of the community churches. Lunch, crafts and special events.

So when she came here for a visit it became apparent that there was nothing available for a non driving resident that she was used to. It wasn’t about friends, but the availability to get to the centers and enjoy the day. Her doctors appointments were every 6 months so not a problem.

She was miserable here, even with siblings and nieces and nephews. So back north she went. It’s not ideal, and no our sibling only cares about money, not well being. Not ideal to be so far away, but she is so much happier than being in TV. She is 91

I know a lot of people who moved out of the Villages to get back to their families up north. This was for many different reasons though. Often because of some medical care reason.

And some moved back later. But to other parts of the Villages.

One really liked the Historical Section and it would probably be easier to get around by US 441/27 with the help of various in house aids. The lady who moved back found life a lot simpler with a smaller house. And it kind of leaves her some space as there is not enough room in her small home for visiting relatives. They go to nearby hotels.

We stayed, parent stayed north. While harder to monitor, today’s technology makes life easier from long distance

Gogograndparent.com

There are lots of independent caregivers/companions in The Villages, that will drive your mom wherever she wants to go. And stay with her for as long as she wants. (I am one of those companions. 954 298-2832

Buffalo Crossings has private apartments and rehab facilities if needed, PT and OT. Medical personnel on staff. Lots of activities, transportation, meals, cleaning crews, villages amenities. Worth looking into.

We moved here with my mom when she was turning 90. At that time she was able to walk around on her own with a walker and she was mentally alert. She loves music, so I would take her to the shows, movies. Or sometimes find her a seat at the square with coffee and a donut from Dunkin’ to listen to the music in the evening while my husband and I were bowling or I was doing some shopping. You can def drop her off at the rec centers for activities that she is interested in. (Like cards, crafting, etc). I provided transport. However Sumter Cty does have a service. Also, there are senior facilities that offer senior “daycare” all day. They have activities, provide meals, sometimes go out to lunch or a show. An excellent one that I know of is at Mission Oaks on 301. Last I checked it was about $75/day. I believe they provide transport as well. She can go as many or few days as she wants. My moms now going on 96 and not able to get around as well, also more confused unfortunately😕. I wish you luck with your move. I know it’s not easy!

Many people I've met here have been "birders"--those folks who live part time here and part time in their original home. It's a good option, I believe for anyone who is thinking about moving here. Provided you can swing it financially, of course. Some folks offset the cost by offering their Villages home as a vacation rental. But here's why it's not a bad idea to try out TV this way. Some people move here and find after all that they don't like it as much as they liked living in their original home area. I met a lady in my exercise class the other day who is doing just that--moving back north. She does not "hate" The Villages; just likes her northern home better. It's an option for you to consider as you navigate this difficult time. It will also give you and your mom a chance to make friends here without the big commitment.

Buffalo Crossings has assisted living and rehab, but I don't think they have independent living.

You are very kind to be bringing your mother with you. Not sure my kids would. It will be a change for sure as she is used to a different kind of life at a senior center. I do hope she will adjust but because people are from all over there doesn't seem to be that connection like back home. I am a split Fl resident 6mo up north and 6mo in TV. Maybe try going on NEXT DOOR for the villages area and post the question about your 90 year old mother and are their activities and a chance to meet others to connect with over lunch or etc.? Don't pay too much attention to the naysayers on here as they don't know your Mother. I wish you the best. Good luck to you and God Bless your Mom!

Brookhaven is the newest center it is fabulous and is going g to be really well run. My friend is the director, much less than $6000. What a facility!

Where is it located, does it include 3 meals per day, and does it include access to The Villages amenities for less than $6,000?

Thank you for posting this site. Very interesting. I had no idea there was such a service. It seems somewhat pricey, but if you are no longer running a car, it is very reasonable. I would imagine it is the type of service where you could build a relationship with a driver and get the same person on a regular basis.

Could y'all visit first to get a "feel" of the community? Maybe even rent for a short while. THEN while actually here you could see if it would work, rather than opinions of others on social media sites. I don't blame your mom for being nervous since change is always difficult PLUS a new place will be just that, not the familiar as she's used to now.

IMHO, your mother is very fortunate with her current conditions. I can understand why she does not want to change what is working so well for her. Moving here would drastically change that. If your mother's happiness and well being is your top priority, then do not move her here with you. However, if you really want to live here, then you can probably find enough support and services for her here if you work at it and she is willing to adjust. Best wishes!

Sumter county provides transportation, arranged in advance. There are also a couple taxi services.

Of course she is nervous. You are taking her away from everything she knows. Her current social connections are especially important. It’s very common for the elderly to become disoriented and depressed when removed from what is familiar to them. Having consistent healthcare providers is important too. Keep in mind that the healthcare is not the best here. Probably at least a few steps inferior to were you are moving from.

Have heard horror stories about Buffalo Crossing.

The service is just a national call center that sends an Uber or Lyft driver to your house, and then charges you $0.27 per minute in addition to the driver charge. So, a 30 minute ride will cost an extra 8 dollars. Why not just use the Uber and Lyft apps yourself?

You can arrange to have most of the items, such as groceries, restaurant food, prescriptions, and other things delivered to you without leaving your house. And, almost any non-perishable items can be ordered on Amazon and delivered the next day for free.

This is the transport for Sumter County:
Transit Passenger Guide | Sumter County, FL - Official Website

Need to qualify and book three days in advance. Costs at least 50 cents. Pickup windows of up to two hours. Limited hours of availability. Probably nowhere near as easy as what she has now.

My mother moved here at 95 and lived in her own villa. She knew she couldn’t drive a car here but drove her golf cart for shopping and recreational activities. She had a ball. She met so many people who quickly befriended her. She was mentally sharp and independent until she passed away at 98.

Parent
 

My mom is 89 and lives here however she can drive and lives in her own home. She goes to 2 card games a week but that’s all other than seeing her kids (3 of us also live here) She reads or watches tv and goes with a friend out to eat. She only drives to a few stores and relies on her kids to go outside of TV such as dentist, sams club or BJ …