Paying all the time
 

In another thread about dining with friends, one poster said "nor do I dine with anyone that I do not have full intent on treating anyway. A couple of others agreed.

Is this a socially acceptable thing to do, always pick up the check?" I have done it plenty of times, but don't do it all the time. Some people have actually been offended when I make the offer. During my working years, I was in a very good position to be able to do it frequently. However, some of our friends were not as "well off" and viewed it as "charity."

Personally, I never argue when someone offers to pick up the check. I thank them as tell them how generous they are. However, we dine occasionally with a group of about 6 couples. One guy is still working and is doing very well. He always grabs the check, sometimes 5 or 6 hundred dollars. It's getting to where I am hesitant about going out with them. I don't what him doing that, and I can no longer afford to reciprocate by paying a check for 12 people.

JLK

he probably has an expense account that covers it so why not enjoy.

Isn't that stealing from his company???

All of our employees have American Express company cards. If my business partner and I found out that they were throwing lavish dinner parties for their friends at our expense, they would be fired and maybe arrested.

JLK

It is always somewhat of a challenge to know what is the correct thing to do. Some people always ask for separate checks. Some take turns paying. I just like to take the total, add the tip and divide by the number of people paying. But then there are some who will say "I had the XXX and that was $$$$ more or less then yours, so that doesn't always work. Best way is to decide before going out.

its called entertaining potential customers or maybe a simple showing a customer appreciation. why do your emploees have ax cards. to buy gasoline?

When we go out with our close friends, it's pretty much understood that the bill gets split. We know that no one is going to take advantage of each other. There have been times when someone orders a bottle of wine and has told the server to bill that separately. If we're out with someone for the first time or new friends, I will sometimes grab the bill, it's just my way of saying that we enjoyed their company and hope to see them again. I've since been told that separate bills are the norm in TV, so I'll have to get use to that. Now probably like the rest of you, when we take the kids out, (2 sons, 2 daughters,their spouses, 7 grandkids) it's usually understood that Mom and Dad get the bill. :confused:

I have an announcement. I will not be offended if Talk Host wants to pick up the check all the time.

Bet you'd even call him the Nice Administrator.

To encourage eating out I would go for each couple getting their own check. If I was running a restaurant I think I would have the waiters always ask if they would like separate checks. Helps break the ice if the group has not discussed and might encourage people to return in groups to the restaurant since they do not mind doing separate checks.

Separate checks, not reciprocity
 

We think deciding upon separate checks before ordering is best, especially in TV.

Incomes vary widely, and picking up the tab for the whole table can make friends/guests feel indebted to pay for the whole group the next time--which could well be something they really can't afford to do. That can be humiliating, and it also can be a temptation for people to spend beyond their means.

To pay for their food, lodging and gasoline. Not to entertain their friends at my expense.

sorry i confused what your employees do. i came from the travel industry and we entertained clients on a regular basis. which often times included drinking and eating. we were expected to do this. certainly never thought that anyone would think that is stealing. it was part of doing business in our industry. im sure glad i dont work for you!!!

I find it interesting that people will put any label on theft to relieve themselves of the guilt. If you entertained people at your company's expense, knowing full well that they were in no way associated with business, you falsified the expense and were guilty of theft. It's no different than insurance or welfare fraud. But I understand that some people think it's alright and nobody will change their thinking.

It's amusing that you believe I am wrong for insisting that my employees not misuse their cards.

I agree with you on one thing though. I too am glad you don't work for me.

Back on the subject -- the norm in TV is for separate checks. I've tried the splitting the bill thing in California and it seemed there was always someone who would take advantage of it. Had one couple who consistently ordered lobster when it wasn't their turn to pay -- of course, we all got our revenge when it happened for the third time and everyone ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. Don't know why, but they never went out to dinner with our group again. Go figure.

As to the entertaining/credit card issue -- I agree that if you're entertaining potential customers, then using a company card is the thing to do. If they're friends or someone you positively know will not be using your company, then it's theft and should be treated accordingly.

Separate checks is the norm in TV and thank goodness. Up north I was never able to get individual checks--even when nicely asked, they'd always refuse. Here, it seems that when a waiter sees a mixed group of people, they assume separate checks and seem happy to do so. I think we eat out more often knowing that we are going to get what we pay for. Sometimes someone in the group is trying to be "good" and may just order a soup or salad. There are drinkers and there are abstainers. We all feel good going out together and like that it's fair. And when we have visitors and want to pick up the tab we just tell the waiter. No fuss.

We've had exactly the same experience. Up north, there is one cheque per table and that is the inflexible "rule". I was delighted at the TV "norm" of separate cheques. It means people can be as extravagant as they choose to be with appetizers and wine and lobster and desserts. Or they can be frugal or on a diet with a simple salad and water and leave it at that. No one cares. No one keeps track.

Individual cheques are such a pleasure. The restaurants in TV are to be applauded for making things easy.

I want separate
 

It always wore me to a frazzle to remember who had paid the last dinner bill. With separate ones there is no worry. I can order what I want and be happy enjoying the evening.

I think that the servers get a higher tip from the table if there are seperate checks compared to one check. And if I were to ask for seperate checks and were refused I would tip them less than my normal which is around 20% of the total check for good service.

I would take a refusal to do seperate checks as poor service and tip accordingly.

Up here in the north I have never had a problem getting separate checks. Odd. Wonder why others have been refused separate checks.

Yes, it is true, McDonalds does give separate checks. :angel:

The reason is that nobody ever wants to go to dinner with you. You always go alone. You only need one check, unless your steak is done wrong, then you pay nothing.

The Nice Admin?

thats what i was thinking???

It's one friend teasing another friend.

Barefoot has somehow learned where I go to dinner. I must be more secretive in the future.

I had a very, very snappy response for this and as I was laughing hard and typing it, Mrs. Tony asked what was going on. I read her what I typed, and her eyes got real narrow and she pronounced it very stupid and distasteful.

But that thing Talk Host said about the steak? It is quite common, I mean the majority of the time that I get my steak cooked incorrectly. I must be asking for very, very special preparation. I order it done medium.

My dinner partners pretend they are looking down reading their menus, but they are silently praying that I won't order steak. Ask Talk Host.

I also had a very difficult time once getting soup. Yep. Soup. It held up the whole dinner. I was still eating when everybody else was standing up and putting their coats on. Soup. Imagine. Couldn't even get that right.

Have you tried saying something more explicit, such as, "I want it bright pink in the middle"? :shrug:

No, he says "I want chowder."

Tony, for the record, I'd gladly take you to MickeyD's, and I would pick up the check and allow you to Super size it......

Frank

Here in the villages most restaurants ask (seperate checks)
Answer,Yes Her and I,,,,,him and her,,,,,that takes the pressure off all concerned on who will pay,and possibly help enjoy your meal more.
If going out with another couple, and he insists on paying because he might owe you a favor or two, example,,, picked you up for golf the last 4 times or helped you home after your cart ran out of juice,then by all means let him pick up the tab if he insists,chances are he really wanted to pick it up,and every one will feel comfortable with that.