Civilians on patrol for speeders on multi-modal pathways
 

The COPS Program will celebrate its 2nd year anniversary with a Surf and Turf dinner at Ricardo’s on Monday. The meal, payed for thru ticket collections, will feature Maryland Crab cakes and Giant Shrimp Cocktail for appetizers. The entree will be a Bacon Wrapped Petite Filet Mignon with a 1 lb. Lobster Tail, Garlic Red Bliss Mashed Potatoes, and Asparagus wrapped in prosciutto. The dessert will be a Baked Alaska. There will be a non alcoholic open bar as many will be bringing their golf cars to the dinner.

The remainder of the ticket funds will be used to upgrade(Speed up) our vehicles
with artificial intelligence tracking devices and to mount siren lights on them. Uniforms will be upgraded and new Official Helmets will be purchased.

The final remainder of funds will be used to add a wing onto the high school dedicated to golf car driver safety. It has been a fruitful 2 years.

At this time we would like to share our data on speeders:

1. All Yamaha Golf Cars Speed
2. All Golf Cars with Seat Belts Speed
3. All drivers smoking a cigar or who wear driving gloves, speed
4. Non Yamaha Golf Cars that are red, yellow, black, silver, grey, white, orange,
Green, Multi-Colored or chartreuse, speed.
5. Oddly enough, the only golf car that doesn’t speed is a navy blue Club Car.

We want to take this opportunity to thank our Civilians on patrol helping to make the pathways safer for all. We will continue this program of safety and our ticket goal for 2024 is to build a 3,000 sq. foot building in Eastport to house our equipment and offices. Given the amount of speeders in the Villages we think this is an achievable goal.

Remember our motto: If they are flying, they will soon be crying. :sing: Stay Safe out there and your return home will be less expensive.
S. Gonsalez. :wave::wave:

Come on. April Fools isn’t until tomorrow.

It's April 1st. somewhere in the world.

Cheating to post this a day early

You almost had me....

Easy to tell it was a joke. If it had been real, at least 75% of the funds would have been used for frivolous things like steak dinners........

Yamaha shaming!
TV 911 ;)

This must be a memory test since this was posted (almost verbatim) a couple years ago.

Aged well! ;)

Suspect only a handful of posters would have remembered.

I was feeling good about myself because I drive a dark blue Club Car!

I kinda believed you until you said "non-alcoholic open bar". :beer3: ;)

I do not recall this post from years ago but the great list of food is kind of a giveaway.

The title reminded me of a Police Academy Sequel - "Citizens on Patrol.

The sad thing about this post is that some people here would love to see TV turned into a police state where there was gestapo on every corner writing tickets.

Bahahahahaha! Good one!!

We drive backwards in our Ahamay golf cart

I can't believe I gotta blue golf cart. Bummer. It's the slowest one out there. I think I will get it painted so it will speed up.
What's the fastest color?

Cops
 

Is this a joke? QUOTE=Rich Iwaszko;2317383]The COPS Program will celebrate its 2nd year anniversary with a Surf and Turf dinner at Ricardo’s on Monday. The meal, payed for thru ticket collections, will feature Maryland Crab cakes and Giant Shrimp Cocktail for appetizers. The entree will be a Bacon Wrapped Petite Filet Mignon with a 1 lb. Lobster Tail, Garlic Red Bliss Mashed Potatoes, and Asparagus wrapped in prosciutto. The dessert will be a Baked Alaska. There will be a non alcoholic open bar as many will be bringing their golf cars to the dinner.

The remainder of the ticket funds will be used to upgrade(Speed up) our vehicles
with artificial intelligence tracking devices and to mount siren lights on them. Uniforms will be upgraded and new Official Helmets will be purchased.

The final remainder of funds will be used to add a wing onto the high school dedicated to golf car driver safety. It has been a fruitful 2 years.

At this time we would like to share our data on speeders:

1. All Yamaha Golf Cars Speed
2. All Golf Cars with Seat Belts Speed
3. All drivers smoking a cigar or who wear driving gloves, speed
4. Non Yamaha Golf Cars that are red, yellow, black, silver, grey, white, orange,
Green, Multi-Colored or chartreuse, speed.
5. Oddly enough, the only golf car that doesn’t speed is a navy blue Club Car.

We want to take this opportunity to thank our Civilians on patrol helping to make the pathways safer for all. We will continue this program of safety and our ticket goal for 2024 is to build a 3,000 sq. foot building in Eastport to house our equipment and offices. Given the amount of speeders in the Villages we think this is an achievable goal.

Remember our motto: If they are flying, they will soon be crying. :sing: Stay Safe out there and your return home will be less expensive.
S. Gonsalez. :wave::wave:[/QUOTE]

Congrats on year 2!

Joe

April fools .. almost got me! The wing on the high school had us laughing out loud. Thanks

Not to hijack an April fools thread but enforcing the law doesn't make a municipality a police state. It's the content of the laws that make it a policy state. Huge difference.

Cops
 

This is an awesome idea and great April Fools joke. Most of it is so true, as golf carts rule the world, right? Just don't let kids use them without an adult present

Are they hiring? Will work for donuts and a percentage of what we collect.

I know it’s a joke but it’s a great idea. I would sign up immediately.

You had me at the title, so I clicked on the thread and then saw the fun.

I had immediately pictured Gomer shouting, “Citizen’s arrest! Citizen’s arrest!” when he was trying to arrest Barney.

(I bet there is a link to that scene somewhere.)

It is so weird sometimes — the things we remember. That one and, “Nip it in the bud!” are still imprinted in my brain from forever ago.

Come to think of it, “Nip it in the bud!” applies to this thread’s title, too.

Boomer

Repeat
 

How so untrue kimosabi...............this is a brand new article...check your notes carefully, no repeat. The subject and comments have changed to protect the innocent. Time to take some more B12.........chilout

Well Done. :MOJE_whot:

Upon further review of this post, this would be the ultimate last supper or last meal before the electric chair!

To get the ball rolling we will supply donuts for the first month for the first 27 people who sign up.

Somebody rang?

https://media.tenor.com/Xl4iA6ZjhnQA...-gomerpile.gif

https://i.makeagif.com/media/12-27-2016/4EhuSA.gif

Catch Me If You Can RED......:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

Sorry 27 people have already signed up, so NO DONUTS FOR YOU!

I was hoping someone would find those. And I actually expected it to be you. I really did.

Thank you.

Boomer

'Meme'bo!

I got caught by the civilian speed enforcement.
 

I got caught by the civilian speed enforcement and was issued a ticket for 22 MPH 2 over the limit and was told I could fight it in court. I went to court dress in very proper golf clothing and was found guilty fined twice as much as the speeding fine because I didn’t have proper attire. $350 out of my pocket and if caught again they will impound my cart. 😢

My "Google-Fu" is strong...

You went with the "mock turtle-neck", didn't you? :p