A couple ? for All You Grandparents
 

Are you down here in Florida enjoying your retirement while your sons, daughters, with young grandchildren living up north?

Even though there's facetime, cell phones, annual visits etc. to keep in touch, are there days you regret not being there spending time with the young ones teaching them how to throw a baseball/football or taking long walks, missing birthday parties, doing what grandparents do?

Are there days you feel guilty leaving them behind, especially the newborns you never got to meet yet?

Just curious

Grandkids is top 3 reasons to sell and return to either become babysitter or just can’t live without.

Our Granddaughters plastic suture closure could use some tweaking. Left hand she is perfect, Right hand is close, but not up to the standards we hold in this family. So she just going to fly down play a little golf, go to Epic and Disney, and practice. She should be perfect with a few hours of hands on.

We are very happy here but much further to our kids and grandkids and do not spend as much time with them as we used to.

They come here and we go there but with all grandkids being in school with different schedules hard to schedule family vacations.

The only negative to being here.

Depends on who you’re asking, my wife or me.

We bought and became part-time Villagers in 2017. We had two grandkids then. There were three more grandkids after 2017. We sold our villa in 2023 because of the grandkids and also with the close proximity of the villas in the Villages, it gave us a new appreciation of our 2+ wooded acres up north. We do miss Florida, largely in January and February.

Nope, not one bit. I cannot control where my children live, move to, take jobs in another city, etc. I cannot follow them around the country for the remainder of my life. Same with grandkids, going off to different colleges in different regions and states. Nope, can't spend my time following them around the world.

They know where to find me. They come here, until their lives get too busy, or we go there.

Even if we lived in the same city, as they grow up they become more independent and their lives more full of social, scholastic, athletic, and professional activities.

My parents were the same way. I used to live within 625 miles of them in their retirement. Then I moved 2200 miles away. It was faster to get to an airport, fly there, rent a car, and drive over to see them then it was to spend the 10-12 hours humping up the state from South Orange County to Shasta.

My advice (worth every penny you spent to get it too), is choose where YOU want to live, and do the things YOU want to do with the time YOU have left. You cannot be a caboose for a family on tracks all over the place.

Well, we're hardly going to relocate to Australia to see the grandkids. We see them once or twice a year, so thank heavens for Face Time. Whenever our son complains that we don't see them enough, the thought runs through my mind: We ain't moved!

I notice leaving your family up north and moving to Florida, varies between husbands and wives.
Wives seem more family oriented.
I find as we age, a little helping hand from family makes a big difference for all.

I think it depends on family dynamics to a large extent. When in my dating life, there was one individual I dated who had plans to move far away from family as soon as college graduation was through. This person wasn't close at all with siblings and parents, particularly the mother.

We have large extended families and the "best grandkids" in the world.:icon_wink: We would never live full time in Florida and really enjoy life with mixed generations and time with "our people" and friends. We have had moments with them that can't be replaced, even though we all have our own thing and aren't in each other's faces 24-7. And you're right, the older we get, the more important it is to provide and receive a helping hand. A winter getaway for a few months is fine for us at this point.

There are many that don't have our family dynamic or their kids aren't real engaged in their parents/grandparents lives. For them, a full time move to The Villages keeps them entertained. Bottom line, there is no one answer since our lives all vary.

The real question is how do you feel ? The answer already resides deep inside not next door at the neighbors.

If all your kids/grandkids live in the same city UpNorth and you can afford to maintain two homes, the best of both worlds is splitting your time. It's too cold UpNorth in the winter and too hot & humid in TV in the summer anyway.

Maybe in the 30’s but women are far more goal oriented in the workplace during child rearing. So less likely to become a babysitter, instead enjoying retirement after running their own companies or high profile jobs.

The #1 reason why we will never be full time in TV. That and the amazing group of northern friends we spend our summers with! For us, this the best of both worlds- our family and a group of very good friends in MA and a great group of friends in TV!

With kids and grandkids living in Hawaii, Portland, OR, Chicago, and Chattanooga, where would I move?
Two families are now discussing another possible relocation.

In our case, the better solution is to figure out where we want to spend the majority of our time, sell the 2nd home and use the proceeds for rentals, rent-a-cars, airline tickets bouncing around.

I have neighbor in TV who owns a place here using it predominantly for the winter. They have a motor home and see all their kids that way and have their own space during their visits. I think they enjoy RVing more than TV.

It also depends a lot on your marriage - - - doesn't everything? Ask your wife, she will tell you what to do.

Never

We miss our grandchildren but with the 2 older ones (7 and 11) we have developed a nice routine of weekly video calls via Google Meet or FaceTime. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what topics interest them etc. Typically one week chat with the older girl, and the next week with the younger one. They love these one-on-one interactions ... Sometimes we read books, do puzzles, or just chat. As a result I feel deeply connected to them. We share interesting details about our day-to-day lives and dreams about the future. Hope this helps.

Nope
 

We put our time in ensuring our children were well cared for and happy.
We have 5 children and 9 grandchildren whom we love dearly. By the grace of God all doing well.
Weekly face time with each is wonderful.
Holidays become special and time together is appreciated and cherished.
We physically get together quarterly either here in Florida or Virginia or New York
Life is great and Grandma and I are living a wonderful life.
Not missing a thing.

So true. Hubby is happy and has zero regrets. I’m struggling and have many regrets. But, we moved from SoCal not just from up north, so it was all or nothing for us. We left 3 adult children and one very young grandchild. If we had come from up north we would’ve 100% kept our home and only been part timers. We both love TV, it’s just more difficult for me to thoroughly enjoy it like hubby does. Also, we moved here at an older age than many do (69 & 70), so that’s a consideration too when making your decision.

That’s why we have live in both places.

I have two grands in NJ and 6 in south FL. I’ve been here close to 8 years. Yes I miss them, no I don’t have regrets. I go back to NJ for Thanksgiving and special events. They come down and
at the end of the month my 4 kids and 8 grands will all be together…first time in 9 years. When considering moving I realized that, in this mobile society, my kids could move if a job opportunity came their way. Everyone is different. I became a single mom at age 40 with the passing of my husband. That left me with immense responsibility. I was ready for some time for myself.

I feel your pain. There is nothing like a hug from the kids or grandchildren and to look in their eyes when they're talking with you.

We went to the grandkids school spring concert last evening and I can't tell you how enjoyable it was for us. One has to realize where their priorities lie and go with it since there is no wrong or right moral decision for this. It's all a personal perspective.

That is the main reason I am not living in The Villages yet. I would like to move there and enjoy a little more of my life instead of waiting around to just see my grandkids who live only 10 minutes away, but it is not easy for me to let go.

So True. We reached the same conclusions.
 

So true and well stated!

Nope!!

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Son and grandkids live in Bay Area of California. Daughter and husband live in Ottawa Canada. We don't want to move to either of those locations. We talk to them all weekly and visit them a couple times a year. If we lived near them, I don't think we would have a greater interaction. Everyone is busy with careers, grandkids are teens and tweens. Currently live in a two-story colonial on LI. In our late seventies in excellent health but should move to a house where the master bedroom and bath are on the first floor. Might as well be TV.

Split the year - never be full time. Family too important. When it's all over ask yourself if being in the villages all those years away from family was worth it. For me it never would be - plus it's freakin' hot. Can't wait to go......

No regrets. We can fly to see them. They are so busy though, even when we visit we are constantly on the go, so it's an interesting dynamic. The way I see it, we worked 60-65 years and we deserve to enjoy the remaining years of our lives as we want and not as babysitters. Plus I hate the cold weather. So no regrets.

It must be tough for so many if the only reason to be near family is that their kids expect fulltime babysitters. Sorry to hear it went so bad for you.

So great when they call you