Oh, comon y'all, give us Southerners a break!
 

Southerners know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line",,, we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco, and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff.... bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !

Now Shugah, if you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know y'all got here as fast as you could!! :1rotfl:

Islandgal, bless your heart for postin' this. I hope all y'all enjoy! I'm fixin to go take a nap now, ya hear?

And only southern boys and girls are polite enough to address their elders with "yes sir" and "yes mam".

Dictionary for Southern words.
 

When you are down south and hear, "Now y'all watch this!" Call for medical support, for someone is either going to get hurt or die.

You didn't mention carpet *******..........Boy Howdy!

edited......Wonder why b-a-g-g-e-r-s was exxed out???? Is that a bad word??

Bad word when used with tea, so looks like they just edit out that word all together. That is why it was xx'd out.

Right at home!
 

Islandgal, you made my day! You would also know that, "Jeet yet"?, is a question!

Love it......from a New Yorker!

I'm thinkn' to m'self you went and done forgot us cat licks thar little darln'!

http://frishman09.wikis.birmingham.k...ute-kitten.jpg

.......yous'd tars..(used tires)...
.............are always listed on The Bills of Lading as "Rode-On Casings".

......."May Pops" are "yous'd tars"...with NO Value...

very nice
 

have lived in the sort of south....St Louis...many transplants....loved the post....very charming!

Love your responses which is why I posted this. Such fun! I love it.
Tal, many of the words in that Southern Dictionary must be places in the South I've never been!!
Skyguy, sorry the cat licks were not on the religion list!!
:1rotfl:

That thar's a good post.

Y'all come back now, y'hear.:wave:

I loved that, my Wife and I have never lived more than 30 miles from Atlanta and now we are moving to The Villages in 19 days. Going to miss hearing the slow and easy talk of the South. :ho:

Y'all bring it with ya now, yah-heer......We have Hose-pipe's in Flori-Duh Too!!!:D:D

Love it! :highfive: Being a Southern gal myself I'm guilty of a lot of em!

I remember a few years ago on our first visit to TV - we went to LSL to watch the crowd. I think the people I met thought I was speaking a foreign language. It may have had something to do with making "dog" a 3-syllable word :1rotfl: but I could be wrong!:D

This is funny.
 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pia1kGUg5po]Shakespeare's Helena...with a twist. - YouTube[/ame]


"How happy some o'er other some can be!

Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.

But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so.

He will not know what all but he do know.

And as he errs, doting on Hermia’s eyes,

So I, admiring of his qualities.

Things base and vile, holding no quantity,

Love can transpose to form and dignity.

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment taste—

Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.

And therefore is Love said to be a child,

Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,

So the boy Love is perjured everywhere.

For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne,

He hailed down oaths that he was only mine."

Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream Southern Style
 

This is from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream Act 1, Scene 1, 226-243

love it!
 

Thanks Islandgirl for the post... It made me laugh.

Being from "Bawlmer", we have also been acused of speaking a different language.

We go "downy oshun" Hun....