Single roommates
 

Hi all,
When I move down in September I'm seriously thinking of sharing a home, instead of either buying or renting - A new experience for me. Three questions. Has anyone else ever taken this leap of faith and how did that work out for you? Second - Do women do better rooming with men or with other women? Would men rather room with a women or another guy and why? And third, I remember Chachacha mentioning that it was hard to date people outside of the villages because they could not get an ID badge. I was wondering if this same problem arises if you are rooming with someone but are neither the homeowner nor the original renter. Does anyone know whether there are a lot of roommate situations out there? Would that be question 4?

Katie

there is a home on thevillages4rent home to share..other than that i got nothin

If you rent/room make sure you get a Villages ID as part of the deal. It cost my landlord $50 when I rented for the month of October 2011. After all, as a long term tenant you will be a resident. As such you are rightfully entitled to an ID. Personally, I would not rent long term (a month or longer) from an owner not offering his tenant(s) a Villages ID.

Lack of a resident ID to attend certain functions may become an issue when a single Villages resident wants to take a nonresident date to a Villages function or venue open only to residents. So if you date someone living outside The Villages you may not be able to take him to such functions and venues.

resident id's
 

The landlord can provide (by turning in their id's for that property) resident renter's id's for up to 2 people, so I believe that if you were the original renter with an id, and then got a roommate, the landlord could add that person to the id list, but check with the renter/id office, which is in Spanish Springs in the back of the sales office there. Don't know the phone #.

I would think that this practice would be more and more common (non-relatives/partners sharing a home) just because it is a cost savings. We keep reading about the baby-boomer generation having to delay retirement because of various reasons.

If you do sign an original rental agreement by yourself, with the intention of finding a roommate, be sure to get that permission in your lease. Personally, I think I would do a tryout period of 30 days, with lots of emails first, and checking the person out as much as possible online. Become Facebook friends if they are doing that. It's not foolproof, but go with your gut feeling.

Somewhere online there have to be questionaires available that might help with roommate compatibility. Being upfront with definite "deal-breakers" might help. I would think that it might even be better if one were a "morning person" and one a "night owl" if both were respectful of noise - that would give you some alone time that might be a plus.

That's just my 2 cents - I've never had a roommate, except for 1 yr in college, that wasn't a sibling or a spouse. But honestly, though I'm close to my sisters, I think it would be easier to live with someone else.

the grapevine has it that rooming with a female would be considered appropriate, and rooming with a male would cause aspersians to be cast...I was a bit surprised by that tidbit in this day, but guarding the reputation could be important in a fishbowl.

Kitty,

WOW! Is that really true? It never dawned on me that anyone in this century and especially at our age would assume you can't have a platonic relationship with your roommate, if they're of the opposite sex. Granted, I've never lived with either but I would have to think that sleeping with your roommate would be the stupidest thing you could ever do. I just thought a man would be easier for a woman to live with. We don't compete for the same things. Jealousy wouldn't be a factor. Even decorating the homestead would not be an issue, for most men anyway. I was hoping someone reading this thread might actually be rooming with the same or opposite sex and might be able to provide some insight into the reality of sharing a home with a relative stranger. Now, I hope someone might be able to chime in on whether they found that they are being gossiped about at the local gathering hole. Frankly, I don't think I'd care, unless openly and socially shunned. Have you actually witnessed this kind of puritanical thinking?

Katie

I saw this yesterday, and was going to reply, and then said no, but here I am typing. Kitty, I am going to respectfully disagree, and I mean very respectfully, because I have read through your posts and you seem very nice. I actually live in the neighborhood next to you and we have the whole gamut of people living here, it is so diverse and they are from every part of the Country. Some of my neighbors are old enough to be my parents, some closer to my age and all of them would LOVE to see a man move into my home. Platonic or not. This discussion has actually been held, and not at my request. But, I am at an age where there will be no more children and I have concerns about marrying again, unless of course George Clooney moved here and someone forgot to tell me.

With that said, for me having a roommate, unless they are a blood relative...I don't think I could handle it, personally. There are so many challenges and potential problems that could arise and I keep my life simple. I have built my castle and I am the Queen. Not sure I can change that. But, I will say, if the day ever comes and I extend the invitation to a wonderful man to share my home with me...he would be welcomed by my community.

Katie, personally, you might want to rent here first by yourself, test the waters and if you find someone to be roommates with go for it! The Golden Girls scenario could be fun...so could the Golden Boys!

Katie

I don't think the sex of a roommate matters...I just want them to pick up their mess..and a good cook would be nice

Katie, I am new here and don't really know the culture that well, so maybe others will chime in. In any small and exclusive community gossip and rumor go like wildfire. Folks seem conservative and sexually traditional, so any other behavior might be considered outside the norm. I'm on a limb here, but I think it might be easy for a liberal thinker to become "not one of us" and never know why.

Well, I guess I might have to do some thinking and not just about the 'guy roommate' thing. Katie (KatieDidNot) has brought up another issue and that is the idea of living with anyone else. The thing is I'm a single woman who owns a home with a mortgage in New Hampshire, one that I could never sell or be forced to rent and miss out on the beautiful summers on the lake - and forget my kids...who have their eyes on it. They'd go ballistic on me if I dared to sell it - So, buying another place to support would be a major strain. Renting a place by myself is actually more expensive than buying one. I figured my choices were limited, therefore, if I want to escape the miserably cold and snow covered winters here, I think a roommate is the only viable option. Maybe it's in the choosing that I can find a good fit. I think I'll look on line for the questions I should be asking potential roommates. I would think there must be some sort of science to it.

In the meantime, I'm hoping Villages who have actually taken this leap of faith and still have their reputation in tact, will come across this thread and offer their advice.

Katie

Hi Katie,
I am also from New Hampshire, sold my house and moved to The Villages at the end of August, 2012. I found a long term rental, but, it took me awhile to find something I could afford.

According to your notes, it appears you want to rent just in the winter. My suggestion would be 1. Check craigslist, Ocala fl and look for share rentals in the Villages 2. Put an ad on Craigslist. 3. Look for homes4rentthe villages.com or homes to rent by owner. I have found the longer you rent the cheaper it could be. There is also a club called the Sumter Singles, you may be able to find someone who would rent to you..
Good luck
Sue

Although I have a house and have overnight visitors of both sexes I have not had a long term (platonic) roommate of either sex for 45 years. I don't know if I could readily adjust to having one. I suppose I could give it a try for three months or so if the layout of the house allowed us each privacy.

A "Three's Company" situation might be appealing to me as long as I was not Mr. Furly.

katierogers: I did notice a couple of owners renting rooms etc. in their homes on homes4rentthe villages.com, as a suggestion, why not contact these people and ask them to relate their experiences with this kind of arrangement. Who best to know? Luck.

katierogers, I would be very careful of Craig's List if you use it. Some people have got into very nasty situations with it.

Kate, if I were in your situation as I understand it, I would try to buy a turnkey villa for 150K or so, and rent it to someone fulltime, with the understanding that you may come whenever you like and stay as long as you want. I would not worry about whether it was a male or female.
If I were single and intending to be fulltime in the community, I would then consider how I wanted to be perceived by friends, neighbors, potential partners.
Kitty

Hi, I'm doing the golden girl thing with a friend of mine. Remember even though you have your own bedroom and bathroom, you will need to take into consideration that you will be sharing the rest of the house and outdoor space. In other words, make sure you develop or can develop a friendship with that other person.

Good luck

ps you might be able to leverage the equity in the property you own. PM me if interested. I'm not in a business to help, but would as a friend.

This is going to be more difficult than I thought...
 

I found, what seemed to be, a great roommate for the fall. Unfortunately, my little dog became a problem, so I'm now back to square one.

I felt very fortunate, because it was someone I met on Craigslist, who turned out to be a really nice person. We even had mutual friends.

But, you're absolutely right. You're more likely to find TV residents looking for a roommate, who have ulterior motives. You'd think it would be men looking for a female roommate, but, ironically there were more women who were looking for roommate lovers. Of course, they were up front about it, so who knows if the men are being honest.

But, I still think a roommate situation would be the best way to go for me, until I know for sure that TV is the best place for me. Some singles obviously love it and have found their niche and have made friends easily, but there seem to be just as many who are having a hard time of it.

So, if anyone knows of someone - male or female - looking for a roommate for September, I would appreciate the heads up. I think finding the best roommate situation might be better accomplished by being introduced by the great people I've met in these forums.

Katie

Is this the kind of situation you are seeking? Boomer Housemates Have More Fun : Shots - Health News : NPR

Are there any in The Villages?

the homes in the villages are not large enough for this....even one roommate is difficult in a small home....it would be a good idea to build a couple of big ones and experiment with how they sell :)

People share small apartments in cities - why not here?

Really?
 

Are you talking about some kind of commune? I'm just trying to figure out how to live with one other person. At 20, when sleeping on the floor was something you could handle in a pinch - or when you couldn't find your way home - you might be able to live like that, but, I like my space to much.

i was referring to the article linked by manabouttown about the "golden girls" style of home sharing, where they had five bedrooms and probably five bathrooms. i agree, at my age i like my space, my quiet, and my privacy. love to get together with girlfriends but not on a permanent living basis.

The Golden Girls style of living discussed within the article applied to living not only in spacious houses but in typical communities having people of all ages. Their living situation provided companionship and activity partners as well as opportunities to form closer friendships. IMO The Villages provides such an environment but in a more extensive and attractive manner. In The Villages singles need not share housing to find activity partners and companions. Too, because everyone in TV comes from somewhere else friendships can develop relatively quickly, just as they did back in college.

The article also seemed to focus on childless single baby boomer women, or at least women not having close family connections. If I recall correctly many of those mentioned had health issues as well.

Hi, All

This has turned out to be a good day. I was beginning to doubt the reality of actually getting down there to meet you all. Finding a place was becoming a nightmare. But, today I think I've finally found one in Summerhill - where ever that is. After reading all your posts and really thinking about what it would be like to live with someone I didn't even know, I had to admit that, even though I would be saving a ton of money, the reality is I would have to constantly be concerned with the idiosyncracies of my roommate - and I have enough of my own to deal with.

The downside is that I can only rent the place until the end of December, but I'm hoping that once I get there I will be in a better position to find a place to get me, at least, through to April. I just don't want to spend another winter under 3 ft snow. Or I might even decide to stay and find a good deal on a home, so I can go back and forth.

So, thank you - Diane, Kitty, Kathie, Janice, Dee, DianeM, Katie ( and those who still remain nameless) and of course all the gentlemen, as well, who have been so friendly, supportive and helpful. I'm relying on you to get me through this Brave New World. So, I hope you all don't live on the other side of planet Villages and at some point we will get to know each other. I do have a tendency to live like a hermit, which I'm hoping will change along with the move.

Again, thanks to all.
Katie

Katie

summerhill is a great location, smack in between spanish springs and lake sumter and close to all the shopping on 466! so no one will be on the other side of the planet Villages to you :) look forward to your arrival in sept! congratulations!

Katie I'm glad you decided to give TV a try. I move in next week so should be set up by your arrival in September. Like you, I tend to hermit a bit when I'm on unfamiliar grounds but I have high hopes that I'll be gutsy enough to join in several activities offered in TV. See you in September (isn't that a song from our misbegotten youth).

Katie, Last year I rented a patio villa in Summerhill for a week. As others have posted, the Village of Summerhill is a great location. You can walk to Publix and Crispers if you are so inclined. There are several other stores in the Southern Trace shopping plaza. If you go on The Villages web site and click on shopping, there should be a listing of the stores and restaurants in the Southern Trace shopping plaza. Summerhill is just north of 466, and there are many restaurants and stores along 466. It is a very convenient location. If I were buying in TV, Summerhill would be on my "short list" when looking for a home.

Welcome to Summerhill Katie. I bought a house there in April, although I have yet to move in! Tile is going in beginning in a week. I am staying at my sister's house in nearby Lynnhaven Village. See you in Sept.

Bill

Hi Bill.

Actually, I ended up taking another place. It's in Hemingway. It happened that a couple, also from New Hampshire were willing to go down on the rent for me and it's a lot nicer. I, of course, haven't a clue were Hemingway is either, but, this whole adventure to a place I've never even seen before is a shot in the dark anyway, and considering what a bad shot I am in the light of day, I'm just crossing my fingers that this isn't going to turn out to be a very expensive disaster.

Katie

Katie
Hemingway will be fine, just not quite as fine as Summerhill! :-)

Bill

You'll do fine Katie. I move in next week and by next Saturday I hope to be out and about (at least a little bit). Let me at least go to Panera for a cappuccino on Saturday morning. Then I'll go back to the work of unpacking.

TVMayor - you do have a point. Packing and unpacking is soooooooo boring but it has to be done or you live in box hell forever. Just need to play a little in between marathon unpacking sessions.

Katie, fom one New Englander to another, a shout out and acknowledgement that you live on/near the prettiest lake in the nation: Lake Winnie.

You're absolutely right! Lake Winnipesaukee is glorious right now and warm enough to swim in. I love this time of year because I also enjoy kayaking, especially when it's like glass. And even the fall is breathtaking here, but - and it's a big big but, watching it freeze over and having to hibernate for months at a time, under three feet of snow, is for the bears and it's taken it's toll. Unless you're into freezing your butt off, while sitting in a tiny house with a fishing pole in hand, this is not "where it's at" from November thru April. At least not for me. I am looking forward to having the best of both worlds.

Katie

Agree about winter in the Granite State. I grew up in northern MA, south of Keene.

Well, perhaps TV will be the ideal wintertime foil for the crusty NH winter...I'm sure it'll be a blast, but never will take the Yankee out of our hearts.

Cheers! Steve.

I'll always be a Yankee too at heart.