FOR SINGLES ONLY: What was it like moving to TV as a single?
 

Let's face it, when you're single, moving to a new community is a lot more challenging than taking that step into the unknown as a couple. Granted, we are likely to have varied back stories, we most likely adapt to a new environment differently and our ability to make new friends may run from 'a piece of cake' to 'pulling teeth. So, it would be helpful to hear from the singles (male and female) who have already had this experience. What was it like for you when you first moved to TV? Did you buy a place, rent or room with someone? What were your expectations and how did your socialization get it's start? How long did it take for you to feel like you belonged or are you still waiting? Please don't hesitate to mention the good with the bad. You're still there, after all, so even if the road was rocky at first it must have smoothed out eventually. And we could benefit from your "would a", 'could a', 'should a'.

Katie

Single women outnumber guys by a huge number and many guys have a sense of entitlement. The girls are often smarter than the guys and develop a cynical wariness - except when it comes to dancing and chocolate...which gets them every time (show me a woman who doesn't like to dance and then have chocolate). I date a bit in TV and, more so, outside of TV. Hookups are easy...deep friendships and love - much harder. There are singles clubs here and consider meetup groups. Good hunting!

I don't know why the singles posts seem so sterile of engaging comment to this point, but I'm saying oorah for KR and Geewiz for saying something genuine.

i was part of a couple when i moved here but it was long distance...i had already created a circle of friends from this site, actually, and many of us are still friends to this day, five years later! they supported me through the death of my partner, whom they had come to love when he spent the first winter here. we have now each developed other circles of friends and activities but that core group still means so much to me. we had great times with the excitement of sharing our new homes with each other. you too will find that a core group of good friends will make life great through good and bad.

I'd like to meet singles a few at a time so I really get to know you. I'm thinking of hosting small gatherings, not for the hundreds. Would you who are reading be interested in coming to my home?

i'm there!
 

after the lovely lunch we enjoyed at Gracie Girl's today, i cannot wait for the next get together! and by the way, Kathie is one of my core group whom i mentioned earlier!

Consider me in...I'll even bring a guitar and write you a song on the spot...a kiss gets you a second song.

I'm a loner. Always have been. I have no interest in dating. BTDT, don't want to ever do it again. At the same time, I do like being around some people (male and female) and I dearly love playing games, especially card games. So, I've managed to find my core group in games -- bridge, Mah-Jongg, Triple Play, poker.

You'll find your niche. As to how long it takes, I'd say that depends on you -- if you're outgoing like Kathie, you won't have any problems. If you're quiet and shy, it will take longer. If you're in the middle, then you'll quickly make friends in some groups but take longer to be accepted in others. Regardless, you'll only be as lonely as you choose to be.

Hello Katie

I am from Florida, and after being in the military this return home was my 15th move. So coming home was natural for me. I am divorced and to be honest, I do not have to continually have to be in a relationship. It is not on my priority list...I am complete as I am. If I meet someone wonderful, then great, if not, that is OK too...it is not an active pursuit.

The only expectation I had coming here was to have a beautiful home with a view, and peace. Mission accomplished.

I am like another poster here, I make friends easily once I meet them and I consider friends the most important of all relationships...except family.

I have never found any problems or concerns with the married couples here and they include me in all their functions with no problems.

I own my home and I would not have had it any other way because I already knew the area.

I always felt like I belonged, and I am not waiting. I am always meeting new friends and always have room in my life for more. I can normally get along with most people from all types of backgrounds. Life is too short to wait on anything.

And for the record, I don't like to dance, because military wounds have a way of catching up quickly over the years...but chocolate always makes me feel great! :thumbup: And cheesecake...I believe in eating dessert before dinner, just in case it is my last.

Katie

Sounds like a good idea. I'd come.

Bill

I believe, Kitty expressed it perfectly. 'Why are single posts so stertile of engaging comments?'

I think most residents would agree - and it seems to be supported in your posts - that it was through the Talk of the Villages that newcomers, especially singles, have looked to for the real story behind living in such a unique community. And some have been able to develop friendships that made their transitions much easier and that continued long after their move to TV.

But, like Kitty says, why are there so few recent, meaningful discussions that affect the singles of TV. There are so many threads (oh, so many), with ambiguous titles and outdated posts that it's almost impossible to track down the subjects you're searching for and you feel foolish for starting another thread that has already been brought up - even though no one actually answered the question.

I suppose, being a novice at this, I hoped an open invitation to the single residents of TV, to share their real experiences, to offer advice for the single newcomer, or to even suggest ways to avoid the social pitfalls, that most newcomers fall into, will go a long way to ease any concerns or just help us to feel connected.

And lastly - and this may be an impossible undertaking, but wonderfully convenient for those who would rather spend less time searching and more time 'doing' - to work toward a more organized single forum for a contiuous, evolving, open discussion where any topics unique to the single resident can be added, discussed thoughtfully and not judged.

On that point, thank you, GW, Kitty, Diane, Kathie, Red, Katie, & Bill for 'getting it' and offering helpful responses. And it's cool that, in the least, this post prompted an 'ad hoc' get together.

I am now permanetly stepping down from my soapbox, never to fillibuster again. I can only offer an excuse for my long-winded, yawnfest on a recent, frustrating, search and a bout of insomnia

I just became single 2 years ago, moved to TV November 2012. Met some singles, met lots of neighbors, single and married. Not dating, just some good friendships as that's all I want right now. I am not the best at being assertive in this new life, but getting better. I know what I need to do to get out there but not really interested in becoming a couple with anyone right now, met some who want a relationship right now and I am just not ready. Enjoy my women friends and some of the guys but there are very few of those as most of the get togethers are mostly women. Met some of "entitled men" who have approached me with the line " Well, here I am " and don't do anything except sit and stare waiting for me to do all the conversation work and ask all about them, met one who turned out to be married and couldn't understand why I would not date him again, told me I had a problem, and met another one who told me all about his libido. I have to laugh about some the experiences now and it's only been 6 months here. I am too new at this to take anything away from my experience, I am still learning all about this new life and living in TV and like hearing from the other singles on this forum.

Thank you for this post and thread. It was needed. It has given all of us some things to think about.

This forum can only be as good as us Singles make it. ChaX3, has done a wonderful job at trying to keep it together, but it could be better if we all worked at it too. I think we all have some issues that would liked to be addresses, but are afraid to post. Maybe those of us who are posting, could continue and it might bring others out of the woodwork.

Hope you don't step off that soapbox too permanently. ;)

Katie

Sent you a PM....Susan

Oh, NewB, I laughed out loud when I read your post. Good for you!. It looks like GWiz nailed it. Actually. my very first post on Talk of the Villages was about the number of married men who were advertising on Craigslists. Some even used the statistics of 10-1, women to men, as a reason why we should be honored by their 'offer'. I think they'd be surprised to find out just how meaningless these numbers are, when there are more women who are perfectly content at being single and would rather have some great gal pals than to settle for the 'entitled'.

Thanks for the support, Katie, I hope it does spark some interest and some of the singles who are living there now will pick up the ball and run with it.

You're so right about Chachacha's efforts. It also goes to show how some of the single residents are either disinterested in the issues that most impact them or there aren't enough who are willing to band together to bring about change. Cha wrote an important post about the unfairness in the distribution of the ID badges. From her, I learned that the single residents are being shortchanged, which causes problems for those who are dating or have friends who are not residents of TV. She was trying to do something about it not just vent, but as Kitty pointed out, for the most part, the comments weren't engaging. I don't know what the issues are that some are afraid to post, but, I have a sneaking suspicion that that just might change. Yeah!

Katie

Don't give up on the possibility of finding a deep love.... there is a home for every heart...despite the posers and libido obsessed. I turn 60 tomorrow and I'll be damned to give up on the dream of sharing adventures...whether in TV or Paris and then A framing at the end of a day.

There seems to be enough interest in a singles get together to announce a party! Saturday, May 18, 6 pm, my house S of 466A in Gilchrist. Let's have a potluck--I'll provide main dish, salad, rolls, and sodas. Geewiz will entertain us with his guitar--trala!
I have to limit this somehow, so please post to this thread , and tell us if you want to bring a side or dessert. BYOB. I'll send the address privately.
I look forward to getting to know you!
Kitty

If you want a particular song...let me know

For you romantics...here's one of mine

Prayer

I knelt down to watch you sleep
And drew the sheet to kiss your shoulder twice
Then slipped into that quiet place
Between your breaths
The marrow of my life
Your beautiful sighs

Safe may love keep you
You who're my heart
And my holiness
May my dreams reach you
Drape you and keep you
Warm throughout the night
Safe until the light

When I sleep I tumble through the trees
Made of the jungle that's your hair
And dance upon your seashell mouth
Still echoing with words so sweet with care
Renewing my life

Safe may love keep you
You who're my heart
And my holiness
May my dreams reach you
Drape you and keep you
Warm throughout the night
Safe until the light

Love redeems us like a pilgrimage
Love redeems us
I stand here for forever
With you etched in my memory
Elemental just like air and sea

Time drips by in memories
And love is like some crushing river
We are just 2 floating flowers far beyond the shore
We struggle to maintain the surface
We struggle to retain our purpose
Kneeling here against the current
I'm praying to a star

Safe may love keep you....

Bill, see my post regarding having a party..

I say that would be mighty fine! I live in the Village next to you, so I will drive the Golf Cart. Since my post talked about no dancing, just Dessert...I will bring one of the Desserts!

Katie

Long story short. I moved here at the beginning of 2012. I play tennis, pickleball, golf, yoga, some clubs. I find it easy to develop friendships through sports. You have a natural common interest. Not much of a dancer so I don't go to those types of events. I go to plenty of events (concerts, plays, dinners, etc) by myself. I believe you can't being alone let you miss these things. Although I do miss a good conversation at dinner.

Kitty's Party
 

great, Katie, I can't wait to meet you!

Kitty,

Count me in, please. I'll bring a side. Woohoo!.

Hey Carol, I already know you! Bark this up to other newbies, not to exclude oldies...
Kitty

i love your poem, Gee Whiz! it is beautiful. would you sing that at kitty's and tell us your inspiration? we can only really get to be friends by sharing our experiences and there must be a story behind that song! kitty, i will make pigs in a blanket as an hors-d'oeuvre. sounds like it will be great fun! wish katerogers could come!

oh, Cha, I was hoping someone would think of the unspellable dish to non-French speakers and make an appetizer. so glad you can come....

Count me in too. :smiley:

Thanks. I 'll bring a dish. I await the address.

Bill

I would love to come but won't be living up there yet...hopefully, by next month
please let me know when the next gathering will be
as soon as I get up there and settled, I'd be happy to host one

I too won't be up in TV by the dinner but I'll be there the first week in June and look forward to it. I'm a bit nervous about not knowing anyone yet but, hopefully, it won't take long to meet people and make new friends. I'm currently in Orlando and love Mickey but need adults. I will say one thing though - I'm pretty sick of people's comments when I say I'm moving to TV. I'm sick to death of the STD comments.

All you singles need to join the Villages Parrot Heads club. You don't have to live in the Villages and there are clubs all over the country. Very informal... everyone's in a party mood, and you'll meet many, many nice friendly people.

Let me know when you arrive and we'll get together. Before I moved, I made the joke about std's myself just to get it out of the way.

funny thing, someone just mentioned it AGAIN the other day to me....

Kitty - it's a deal. Coffee, tea or what I may have when I get there.
Hope, my Vet just brought it up yesterday. Geesh !!!
I like the idea of the "Parrot Heads' Club". Sounds good to me.

it was a doctor I where I work that brought it up when I said where I was moving...must have been in a medical journal somewhere...

Moved here last year after husband died. Count me in---i will bring a desert.

I look forward to meeting you. What's your name?
Kitty

Cha thanks, I too wish I could be with you at the first gathering of the "For Singles Only" Alliance. I'm sure that those of us who can't be there would love to read a tell all report, after Kitty's soiree. Can photos be posted to these forums? I would like to see GeeWiz in action.

And Kitty, thanks for being the first to pick up the ball and running with it. It's nice to see that the group is already growing and engaging, just like KatieD predicted.

I hope NewB and RedW get to go and that Chachacha will find the support she needs to get those ID Badges that we definitely have an equal right to.

Katie R

The rise in STDs pertains to retirement communities in general, probably due to recent medical advances for both men and women which can dramatically increase the lengths of their sexually active lives. The Villages, unfortunately, got singled out by an Orlando reporter in 2006 from an aside comment made by a gynecologist, Dr. Colleen McQuade, who was surprised to find folks in the Villages were experiencing STD issues in significant numbers, given their ages. She said something to the effect she was surprised that she was seeing more STDs in The Villages than she had seen in Miami.

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/...a-older-adults

Be safe, however you choose to do so!