So why don't you just move???
 

Seems like whenever anyone has a concern, complain, rant or anything not to their liking someone suggests they move somewhere else. Why do we treat each other like that. I would hope in most cases these concerns are legitimate to the OP and they are looking for confirmation, discussion, ideas of how to correct the issue or whatever - but, I don't believe they post so someone suggest they go live somewhere else, relax, take a chill pill, suggest "you have to much time on your hands" and a host of other rude things we say.

And I'm about to end the post by saying "ok take your best shot" which confirms my thinking. It is very difficult to bring anything negative to this forum without getting beat up.

Thanks for listening.:spoken:

so the OP should move or the responders:pepper2:

The Villages is changing, scarey isnt it? The smaller the community, life is better. Not worth standing in line for insults.

I've said this before-If you voice a concern here ,YOU often end up having the tables turned on you by the "if you don't like it,don't read it or don't go there or go home or don't buy it" crowd.You can point out something blatantly wrong and this crowd will pop up and blame you instead.Gomoho is exactly right with his post.I've seen it here many times.

It's always easier to find faults than the good it seems. People have some anonymity when writing on a message board and might just say things they would not if talking in person. There may be many here who don't find the difficulty or problem expressed, annoying to them and they can't understand why such a thing would bother anyone. Then, there are some who only come to voice complaints....they may not participate in any other discussions. One problem I see ..... Once one diminishes the feelings of another, more seem to pile on....a sort of pack mentality that happens in nature, be it man or beast.

My opinion and I'm sticking to it....:D

Amen!

I hate when someone has a concern and gets attacked for it. Just experienced it prrsonally on the website for my present community. 'Tis one of the reasons I'm leàving. Please try to hang in there. Not all are mean. I try not to be.

OP, I agree that saying to a "poster" to just move if you don't like something is harsh and is not disagreeing in a respectful manner. We can disagree and still be respectful without making the disagreement personal. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those that carry their "feelings" on their shoulder---so to speak---and take things personal when they are not personal at all. "You have to be reasonable to reason.". Anonymous

I for one think there is another side to this issue. So I ask why do people join a group, join a club, move to a city or country or other such thing and then because they don't like it, try to change it? Don't join in the first place. Don't move there. Don't belong. Most people are able to do enough research on any of these life changes before they make the move, or before they join a group or club. Then they want to change it. Suggestions and positive improvements are OK. But even then if you make a suggestion and it is explained why it is the way it is, move on.

Or should we all go out and lobby to allow large pink Flamingo's on our lawn? When I bought here I knew the rule was I could not do that. And if that is so important to me that I want to complain, lobby, instigate and in other ways try to change that rule, I should just move elsewhere where I can do it. JMHO.

Are things changing in Stonecrest??

That is how I see it too.

And Gomoho, there are those who ONLY complain and it is very transparent, you can read all of their posts, in one way or another it is the same song with the same lyrics. You know what they are going to say and it is going to be a rant.I have gone past thinking they are having a bad day and think they have a beef or an agenda. Some always are on the food and the restaurants, some are always on the developer, some are always on diet, some are always on politics, someway, somehow.Some people are always positive and they are thought to have their own motives and maybe they do. I like their motives better in the morning with my coffee.

I feel bad for a new person complaining, because the collective readers say to themselves, we are off to the races.

I agree with the above poster, find out if you like it or don't first and don't come to change it.

Do you ever tire of trashing your neighbors in TV?

no matter how large or small the community there will ALWAYS be a FEW that have something not to their liking. There will also be a few that are ready to pounce and take to task any subject they have an opposing view on. There are a few contrarians who will voice opposition or dislike for almost anything. And of course there are the baiters.

One thing can be said about them all LEST WE FORGET.....they are in the minority. I am against any tarring of a general condition or community or organization for the actions of a few. They do not represent the general condition, but somehow get the time, attention and discussion as if they were.

Let's not forget the 98% who do what is right.

btk

While I agree with the OP that dismissing a concern with an invitation to leave is rude, there are some times (although a minority) when a poster seems so upset, discouraged, and depressed about many aspects of living here, that recommending they consider moving away appears to be a sincere effort to get them enjoying their life again.

There are some things in TV that we just cannot change, no matter how much we wish to. If these things are so important that the situation is causing great stress, you need to either accept what you cannot change, or, failing that, get away from it.

I have no problem with people posting about something they think could be better. One of the positive aspects of living in a community with people from all over the country is that they bring alternate views of how things could be done. Anyone who has served on a committee where the membership stays the same for a long time realizes how important new blood is to achieving goals.

However, I see a segment of TV that seems to want everything they had in their prior community here, except the weather. Sorry, this is not your prior community. Your favorite grocer, barber, mechanic, restaurant, golf course, etc. are not here. What's also not here are those aspects of your former community that led you to move here. Last time I checked, nobody was forced to relocate here.

For what it's worth - we are coming up for an LSV.

I would love to have a cottage home with a lot of land, a fence around the yard for my dog, back yard on the water and my flamingos out front (only kidding about the flamingos).

However, after doing research on the TV web site, joining TOTV, and doing general research on the internet, I realize some of the restrictions. Some are similar to where I live now.

Will I move there and say "Geez what a silly rule!" I would bet my bottom dollar that I will.

But, after doing all this research and coming up there for a week, if I still desire to purchase there (assuming you will have us!!!!) then The rules are the rules! And this is coming from someone who always used to say rules were made to be broken/changed.

See you at the squares.

It is rather ironic to hear a person that does not live in TV tell someone who has lived here for 15 years to leave if he doesn't like it. I hope I'm around 15 years from now to hear if that person is 100% satisfied with everything, if he ever moves here.

I agree with the OP. Reminds me of an old 'Saturday Night Live' skit.

Two guys standing at the elevator. One says to the other, "I got hit in the head by a brick last night!"

The other, "Oh, I Hate when that happens!"

You know, maybe our neighbors are only looking for a sympathetic ear. Is that too hard to do? Why not just listen, without being nasty or judgmental?

You never know what is going on in their life. If they complain about slow restaurant service- don't say- "You are retired- you have all day!" Well, maybe they don't.

I am a Caregiver to my husband and when I am out and about- I do not have all day. I worry about him being alone. That is just an example. I have never complained about slow service- but I am looking at the other side of the coin.

When people say that they are disappointed in something- why not just listen- without being rude? You never know the circumstances. Maybe you need to walk a mile in their moccasins!!!

Just sayin'!!!

Sometimes it depends on the gripes. I know people who have lived here for a few years & still complain about the amenity fees or the bond. We know these things before we move here. Why then move here & complain 24/7 !!
I do say you should move.
There are also the restaurant bashers who say they will never ever, ever go back to this awful restaurant cause they didn't like where they got seated.

I totally agree Bonny!!!!

Well some poster seem to come on TV and do nothing but complain, and to that I say life is too short to be so miserable, so if all someone can do is find something to complain about then why not move to somewhere that makes them happier and doesn't have the issues they constantly complain about.

Happiness is in you. It is not in TV or anywhere else. If you can't be happy here, you won't be happy anywhere. Enjoy every day because you never know what tomorrow brings. I had another great day with my friends, from my morning pool walking with my pool buddies, to the evening BBQ with my girlfriends. Life is beautiful, and it was another beautiful day in TV. Where else would I want to be?

I agree..there is one poster who has been here less than 2 months and has nearly 500 posts...all are negative. I just don't get it. TV is not perfect but how can you find so much to complain about in such a short time? Why dd that person move here or does he/ she just like to complAin?

It is sort of a sport like thing for some.....sometimes called stirring the pot.....

btk

Well said:BigApplause:

The Villages is changing! The community is taking steps every day to become better and better. No where else has the lifestyle of this community. That's why over 100,000 people have chosen to live here. I hope we keep changing forever.

How true it is!
 

Several years ago my friend Tillie turned 100, and a big party was held for her. A young guest commented to me that Tillie typified the picture in her mind of a "sweet little old lady." Tillie always smiled, was always gentle and loving, never complained, was white-haired and pink-skinned, and was a joy to be with.

I explained to this young woman that that isn't how it works, that Tillie didn't suddenly achieve "sweet little old lady" status. Tillie was like that when she was 20, when she was 40, when she turned 60, when she became 80, and now that she's 100. I was with her once at the nursing home (she could no longer walk) during lunch and asked her how the food was. She smiled sweetly and asked me if I'd like to eat it.... It didn't look great (understatement), and she ate it day in and day out, never complaining!

And if a person chooses to be miserable, negative, constantly whining and complaining and alienating others, he or she will be like that at 20, 40, 60, 80 (if living that long), and so on. We are who we choose to be, much like the Abraham Lincoln quote to the effect that we are as happy as we choose to be. We all have adversity to deal with; it's just part of life. But some of us are like this even without adversity. I feel sad for those people, as they are clueless. Somehow they think--and likely really believe it--that things will improve the more negative they are. And some will go through their entire lives like this and never figure it out. Wouldn't you agree sad?

Tillie died peacefully in her sleep last year, surrounded by her family, at age 104. She never for a moment wavered in her goodness--and she is missed!

I totally agree, but another option is not to respond at all. I mostly enjoy hearing opinions both good and bad, so the "constant complainers" don't bother me. The people who always jump in to tell them to leave make me shake my head, though. It's dismissive and uncalled for.

For those who find certain posters or negative posts annoying, the ignore feature is your friend. :-)

In the end, this is an (mostly) anonymous discussion board and nothing said here is worth getting upset about.

There is a difference between disappointment and moaning, groaning & complaining.

AND baiting.

Also,some people have a little bit of an open mind as they attain the status of senior citizen and some have minds like steel traps. One poster started a thread that every single person disagreed with and some more articulately and kindly than others but she would not back down. She is almost always met with disagreement, but she still thinks she is right and the majority is wrong. Makes you wonder if she always sought negative attention as a kid, or sought out being the underdog.

As my Daddy said:
Some people are so eager to find fault that you'd think there was a reward offered.

Well, you're right. They didn't come out and ask you to move, but the majority seem to to be saying, don't voice your complaints, don't voice your hope for change to help make things better; anyone who complains is a troublemaker looking for attention; anyone who complains about The Villages is just totally unhappy in their life, etc.... Sigh.

"So Why Don't You Just Move." When a person leads with this question in my mind s/he has already lost their argument. Its political correctness speak. It follows along with confirmation bias and selective denial. It is an offensive tactic so that the responder's bubble isn't burst.

It is also indicative of people who do not like leaving their comfort zone.
It reflects a major flaw occurring at every level of American life. Debate and intelligent discourse have been replaced with name calling argumentive and defensive yelling and plain old ignoring all reactive responses. Reality shows reflect America's reality today.

On the other hand there are people who apparently have higher expectations than is the norm. However on this forum who believes they are experts in making that determination?

"So Why Don't You Just Move." It seams to me that some complaints are constructive and some are negative and it's not easy to tell by the tone that is implied.

I think the reply to those complaining should be "What are YOU going to do about It?"

Complaints need to followed-up with a solutions and perhaps things may be fixed or understood.

Good point. I think what bothers people is the perceived attitude of some complainers that they are unhappy and want some one to fix it. It's the attitude as if this is a resort; they are a guest; so they expect their every need, want, desire to be accommodated without any effort on their part.

Wonderful Story
 

What a great story and thanks for sharing Tillie with us. Definitely we could use more Tillie's.

I agree that some people want all their whims satisfied, and that it is preferable to try and fix things oneself, but some things are really beyond our control. Take golf course conditions, for example. Other than voice our complaints to the golf department, (and of course repair our divots and ball marks) we can't do anything more. What helps though, is posting the golf complaints on this forum. When other golfers see that people are unhappy with the conditions and basically think like they do, it spurs them to also make telephone or email complaints to the right person. When The Villages gets a ton of complaints, then they seem more inclined to do something about it. Better than burying your head in the sand and ignoring the problems, or pretending they don't exist.

I like that! Made me smile. I will remember that.

Rubicon - not sure I understood your post. Could you be a little more clear what point you are making.

Not quite sure what you are saying.:shrug: